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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/pnuts
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19 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Paris Hilton  
Review by Peanuts
Rated: E | (4.0)
"Of mice, owls and moonflowers ASR: A light view of natural processes of life, death, life. Response to a challenge.

First Impression :

Hilarious

Spelling and Grammar :

nothing important, but I think never mind is two words

Flow :

I love the way you move from Paris to Martha.

Additional Comments :

You either are very funny or Paris needs to be very careful! *Bigsmile*
I have a game I play with some friends called "Brushes with the Rich and Famous". The more removed the brushes are, the better they are. For instance, if your cousin Bill has a neighbor that once sat on a plane on which Dustin Hoffman also flew, you'd get big points. Some day I'm gonna write about it. It would make a good blog!

Keep Writing! *Smile*

Peanuts
2
2
Review by Peanuts
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"Of mice, owls and moonflowers ASR: A light view of natural processes of life, death, life. Response to a challenge.

Believable account of a thought process

First Impression :

strong voice, the over voice we hear in our heads, reflecting "reality" as we think it is.

Spelling and Grammar :

none that I see

Flow :

I like the occasional breaks with rationality attempting to quiet the crazy voice - our inner critic


Additional Comments :

I can relate! You might find some similarities in a piece I have called "The Incubation of Guilt

Keep Writing! *Smile*

Peanuts
3
3
Review by Peanuts
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a wonderful, generous gift: to offer a place where we honor another's poetic offerings for others to share. What a lovely idea.
4
4
Review by Peanuts
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
"Of mice, owls and moonflowers ASR: A light view of natural processes of life, death, life. Response to a challenge.

First Impression :
I like the simplicity of the piece, as if a mouse had indeed written it.

Spelling and Grammar :
no problems that I see

Flow :

really good, the final stanza sets it apart perfectly

Additional Comments :

I liked this poem.


Keep Writing! *Smile*

Peanuts
5
5
Review by Peanuts
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
"Lives of Their Own 13+: Tough opening but worth the patience. (First story I've ever written!)

~

First Impression :
Very clever. Multi-layered

Spelling and Grammar :

Small things:
dieing, dying
your tired, you're tired

Flow :
good flow, moves from one layer to the next quite well.


Additional Comments :

Surprising result!
~

Keep Writing! I'm impressed!*Smile*

Peanuts
6
6
Review by Peanuts
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I liked the modern setting for an ancient mythical creature. It seems an allegory for mindless slaughter of nature. I grew up in a hunting family so have no objections to thoughtful use of animals. So much of what we are doing to nature, though, is like Sam. I felt the sorrow of Bentl and sorrow for the rest of us. Nice going. Peanuts

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7
7
Review of if you loved me  
Review by Peanuts
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your poem is poignant, the way it all rests on that little phrase at the bottom - visually speaking, it is poignant as well. That is the feeling we have, being in love - and something has happened to this beloved person, whether it was unrequited or they went away. I'm glad to rate your poem. It's sad to have orphans. ~ Peanuts
8
8
Review by Peanuts
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Your poem has a beautiful flow. The images are strong. The sense of ancientness is powerful. Trees really do have that sense of timelessness and power. I really love the "coniferous shaman" metaphor. The end is mysterious to me. It sounds as if something in legend will happen. Beautiful.
9
9
Review of Prisoner of Love  
Review by Peanuts
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Tiger Lilly. You've tackled an important topic. I feel drawn in by your poem. It is a topic close to my heart. I find myself wishing chapter two found her beating the odds and getting out. People don't understand how hard that is. The image of the touch of the lips is powerful. There were maybe a couple of images that seemed not quite so fresh to me, that of cold steel and the chained wrists. I am kind of obsessive about spelling and grammar, and you might want to check it over for those kinds of things. I'd be glad to revisit it, if you like, after editing. I also would love feedback for my work, too! Keep up the good work. Peanuts
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