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1,392 Public Reviews Given
2,269 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
In depth, detailed, and honest. I always point out the things I enjoyed most about an item, highlighting the strengths along with any weaknesses or glitches I might find. To me, it's important to let a writer know how something made you feel and what reactions you had when reading, not just the technical aspects.
I'm good at...
Characterization, punctuation, plot, and grammar.
Favorite Genres
Anything dark and angsty. Horror, erotica, dark dramas are usually my favorites.
Least Favorite Genres
Westerns, Sci-Fi, and comedy.
I will not review...
Poetry and non-fiction. I read these for pleasure alone. I don't know enough about the technicalities to give a decent or useful review. Any comments I send are always just based on my personal reactions as a reader.
Public Reviews
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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Awesome graphic! I could stare at that for hours. There is something hypnotic about flames and the face lurking behind them doesn't help any!

You have a great layout and I love the way you worded the rules. The forum itself is easy to look at and understand, both major pluses in my book! Looks like you have a great thing going here, StaiNed!

Now, the kicker. I don't write poetry. I've thought about it and just been too intimidated. But if anything could urge me into it, it is this contest. Maybe someday, eh?

Great work. I hope you keep this one open and going strong. It looks like it has a lot to offer and who can resist the temptation of the dark and wicked....err.....flames that is! *Wink*
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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great poll, Ben! I think this adresses a great topic. As I said, when I first joined, I was intimidated by ANY case color different than mine. It took a few weeks months for me to realize they were writers just like me. Regardless of one's case color, be it black or purple, even red, we all want people to read and review our work. That is why we post it here and share!

I like the wide variety of answers you offer here. I think it is well rounded and covers the scope of responses and reasons. I especially liked the last one. Toast? *Laugh* That was so tempting!

Good luck with the poll. I'm interested in seeing where the majority of the votes lie.
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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ello Jaye!

This is a review of ""I'll Always Be With You""  I've always been fascinated by the paranormal and when I saw you had a whole folder full of it, I was giddy tith excitement!

Overview: These words, I have to wonder how many times they are promised. My mother assures me the same thing, and I my children. Sometimes, even death is not strong enough to break the bonds of love we share.

This was a touching story. My heart went out to Amanda as I watched her mourn. You captured the emotion of this piece very well. Her anguish came through in both description and dialogue.

The story itself takes an interesting twist when she wanders down to the dock. The paddle boat and the characters on it caught my attention and the tension in that segment with Eric and her father was great!

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea*
then deepening from red to purple. She sighed deeply.
Given the tense of the first sentence, it might flow better if you used deepen instead of deepening. Also, here you repeat "deep" twice. Rather than use an adverb, maybe you could flesh out the action a little. For example: Her shoulder lifted in a heavy sigh. This gives a stronger visial and cuts out the repetition.

The loud creak of the hinges temporarily silencing the night song of the crickets.
Another small tense issue. My suggestion here would be silenced instead of silencing.

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* The scene on the boat. For some reason, it felt as if she was going back in time here. The descriptions of the people along with her father's interruption had me enthralled! *Thumbsup*

*Note*Please remember that all suggestions and thoughts are my sole opinion as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you feel best suits your style and the work of art you have created. *Smile*

In Closing: Great emotion in this story! I really enjoyed reading this and I think it lends a comforting message. The ones we love are never far from us. Thank you for sharing your work and allowing me to visit your port! I'll be back again soon to check out your other ghoslty offerings.

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review of I can't help  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi there MommiDonni and welcome to WDC! *Bigsmile*

Much like the title, I couldn't help taking a look at this poem! That and the description drew me right in and as I read these words, I connected with them. I've been in a position where I could easily have said these words as well as heard them. You caught the emotion very well and state it in a manner that has a nice flow. The tone of this piece is upbeat, despite the wistful feeling and regret for what could be hidden behind the words.

I did notice one tiny hitch that you may or may not want to look at:
~knowwithout a
know without

I really liked this! It is n easy piece ot connect to and is well written. Thank you for sharing! Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*
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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi there and welcome to WDC! *Bigsmile*

This piece has a very dark,meloncholic tone that ensconces the reader. It elicits fear in the beginning, and hope at the end, much like the end of the world probably would. I really liked the imagery and wording in this poem. It paints a strong mental portrait of the world you describe and conveys the emotion well. *Thumbsup*

Just a small suggestion here, but you may get more views if you add a genre. "Other and none" usually don't generate much traffic. *Smile* For instance, Inspirational and opinion might work well here or any other combination you feel is relevant.

I enjoyed reading this poem! Thank you for sharing your work! Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*
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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Robin:TheRhymeMaven

This is a brilliant and moving piece of work. I loved how you combined your flawless poems with facts, knowledge and opinions that many might not know. I was moved as I read this and actually broke into chills. I cannot fathom the amount of terror, suffering, and hatred a single religion has faced.

To me it all seems so pointless. Hatred or discrimination in any form, be it for religion, race, or physical attributes is a waste of time and only backpeddals the progression of society. Beneath all the exterior attributes and no matter what the religion is, lies another person...another soul that feels pain, joy, hope, just the same as we do. I grew up without any religious foundation, but my parents taught me to love and embrace all people and I hope my efforts to teach my children the same hold into their adult hood.

I love the passion you speak with here. Your pride and pain shine through. It is a thought provoking item in many ways and educational. Those that know and sympathize will reflect on your words, those that don't will perhaps ponder. I have no suggestions for improvement and your poems are always so beautiful! The ones here were no exception. They gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you for sharing! Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*
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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi there, C.J.Ellisson ! After reading "V V Chap One - revised 8/26/09" , I wanted to share my thoughts with you. *Smile*

Really interesting blend of mystery, fantasy and yes, even a hint of erotica in this opening chapter. I think that is the allure so many people find in vampires. Despite their obvious bloodlust, they are very tactile and senual creatures.

Things really start off with a bang, the reader being thrown into the midst of the action as the main character stumbles across a corpse. The effect it has on her is interesting, a combination of stress and fascination, the scent in the room nearly driving her mad, but not for the reasons we would think! *Laugh*

You showed the panic she felt at discovering the who, what, and why...as well as her urgent need to get this body out of the hotel room before the next guest's arrive. Her thought process came across as fragmented and choppy, a realistic portrayl of how we tend to react internally under moments of stress.

The one thing I really didn't understand is how her mate, Rafe, could still be human if they both have exchanged blood. I'm no vampire expert, but it was always my understanding if one drank a vamp's blood then they, too, would be converted. In many stories, this is how humans make the transition into being an immortal. I know rules and circumstances can change with stories, and that is fine if it is the case, but maybe you could explain that a bit more? Perhaps I just read it wrong or I am a total ditz. *Laugh*

I thought this Chapter was well written and did a great job of introducing both character and conflict. I'm curious as to who this man was and why he ended up meeting such a tragic fate. And I really like the dynamics of the relationship between husband and wife. Their playful banter and sizzling connection make them an enthralling pair to watch.

The few techinical things I noticed, I sent to you through edit points. *grins*

Thank you for sharing your work! Best wishes & happy writing! *Heart*
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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there <>Natalie<> ! It was my pleasure to read "Chapter 2: (Eden's POV)"  and I wanted to share my thoughts with you!

Overview: Interesting start! You definitely kick things off with a bang here. The confrontation between Ian and Amy was intense and action packed! I like the slightly futuristic feel of this story and how you combine it with these unique and somewhat chilling talents. In a small way, it kind of reminds me of the X-Men school!

I couldn't help but wonder where Amy had been...what war had altered these people and how. I guess these are the questions you pose to lure readers into reading on! *Laugh*

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea*
Since this is the first chapter, I would set the scene a little more. Explain the reasons for the war and what it had done. Where was Amy returning from and why? What were her feelings upon returning? I think you could answer some of these and that the tension and conflict between her and Ian and the readers curiousity about their gifts will be enough to draw the them on.

Towards should be toward.

Also I couldn't help but notice the adverbs. Those pretty words ending in -ly are often a shortcut in writing that detracts from the action and tells more than shows. For instance, instead of saying someone moved slowly, you could say they inched forward with caution. Just a little example there, but see how it paints a stronger mental image and increases the action?

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* You had me holding my breath when Amy was writhing on the floor under Ian's glaring attack! What a way to kick off the action and make us wonder why! *Thumbsup*

*Note*Please remember that all suggestions and thoughts are my sole opinion as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you feel best suits your style and the work of art you have created. *Smile*

In Closing: I would definitely be interested in seeing where this story leads. My curiousity is piqued! Nice job setting up the frame work and I like your style. This is an excellent draft, and I think after you flesh it out a little more, you will have an amazing first chapter! Thanks for sharing your work.

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Ello Shannon

This is a review of "You Can Sleep While I Drive"  It is my pleasure to read your work and share my thoughts with you!

Overview: This story made me cry! *Sad* It is heartbreaking, but beautiful. The mother in me died a little reading this, the lover and romantic part rejoiced at the end, however bittersweet it was.

As usual, you weave deep emotional ties into your story, wraapping them around breathtaking imagery. Not only can one see everything going on around them, but they can feel it.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea*
Not a thing. You are some fierce competition girl! I think you got a winner here! *Thumbsup*

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star*
You tied everything together so well. It all came full circle, repeating itself but under different circumstances. Very well done. But..I am also a HUGE fan of the emotion and imagery in all your stories.

*Note*Please remember that all suggestions and thoughts are my sole opinion as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you feel best suits your style and the work of art you have created. *Smile*

In Closing: In a way, this story made me think of my own cousin and his girlfriend. In a few weeks, it will be the tenth anniversary of their death...they too were also killed by a semi. I would like to think they had an ending like this one and that it was merely a new start.

You have a beautifully written drama here. Thanks for sharing and feel free to drop me a line anytime you add a new story up in your port! *Bigsmile*

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ello aralls

I saw "The Mirror Does Lie"  listed in the by online authors column and had to stop in for a peek!

Overview: Very catchy title and description. I've often wondered the same thing and because of this felt drawn in like a moth to the flame.

This story is so intense and fast paced that I found it hard to catch my breath. I think we have all had moments like that, where we doubt the sincerity of others and the ability to see the truth in ourselves, but this gripping tale take that to a whole different level.

The plot and concept are unique and honestly chilling. There is an air of madness as the nagging doubts creep in and become to consume every area of the protagonists life. Being a teen is difficult enough without the added stress and your ending...WHEW! My heart and jaw both dropped.

This is a very well written story and a stark study in psychology. These are the same kind of thoughts that trigger eating disorders and all kinds of distructive behavior in people. EXCELLENT work!

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea*
None. I don' say this often, but I honestly would not change a thing. Either your work was flawless or I was too engrossed to notice. Either way, brava!

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* The gnawing thoughts that tore this poor character apart from the inside out. It is so easy to read this and see how it could happen...and honestly it incites the fear that this tragic demoralization could start and/or progress to this extreme in ourselves. *Worry*

*Note*Please remember that all suggestions and thoughts are my sole opinion as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you feel best suits your style and the work of art you have created. *Smile*

In Closing: I could rave on and on about this story, but I won't. I'm so glad it has a ribbon, as it is most deserving of one. I will be back again to browse through your port. Thanks for sharing this incredible tale and your talents with us!

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ello Redtowrite

Reading "A Gift from a Daughter"  was my pleasure and I wanted to share my thoughts with you!

Overview: This story just reaches out and touches the heart. Written from the POV of a young girl watching her mother struggle and suffer, we feel the love she has for her parent and the endless desire she has to help.

I really want to commend you for keeping things limited to the child's perspecitve. It is not easy to write an entire story from their eyes and keep it in their voice, but you did a wonderful job!

Reading this reminded me so much of the stories my mother used to tell me about my grandmother. She too was a single mother after fleeing an abusive relationship and worked LONG hours as a waitress. She never complained, but my mother remembered the same things, right down to the vericose veins from too many hours my grandmother spent on her feet.

I think many readers can relate to this story be it because of the economy or divorce. It is a touching tribute to the love shared between parent and child that people of any age will enjoy. *Thumbsup*

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea*
~ stars.In another photo
missing a space after the period here*Wink*

~That frightened her more then the actual dying
than
Then is used in reference to time or sequence. Than is used to make comparisions.

~The sandy ocean floor was alive with starfish crabs crawling and
I think this would be easier to read if you sperated the items with commas
starfish, crabs crawling, and

~He is suppose to be paying
Not sure here, but should this be supposed?

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* It is so hard to pick any one thing in a story like this that just speaks to the heart. The letter made me cry, but I really loved the end where the mother walked with a smile and pride. *Heart*

*Note*Please remember that all suggestions and thoughts are my sole opinion as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you feel best suits your style and the work of art you have created. *Smile*

In Closing: I'm not sure if you wrote this for a contest or because inspiration struck, but it is a beautiful story that is sure to touch many hearts. Thank you so much for sharing this and for the gentle reminder that mothers make endless sacrifices and do so much wehter we see and appreciate it or not.

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review of The Self  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.0)
Ello again CorpusVile !

Wow. Reading this made me draw in my breath and hold it. There is a seething intensity behind your words that lashes out at the reader much like the inner turmoil the poem expresses. I could certainly relate to some of what this item conveys. I think many of us see ourselves differently than what others do and to be able to see ourself through their eyes, if only for a moment, might lend us a better understanding of ourselves.

You pack a strong punch here with very few words, and I think what you have is great. However, I did feel the end came on a bit abruptly and could be embelished just a tad more. Is it the touch of others that brings about this fear? And is the fear that they will discover the things we find ugly....or that the touch will bring it to the forefront in ourselves?

I think you have a very powerful poem here, and it is one most people can probably sadly relate to. I love the power and intensity in your words! Great job! *Thumbsup*

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*
~Adriana
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Review of Closer  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ello CorpusVile

This is a review of "Closer"  It is my pleasure to read your work and share my thoughts with you!

Overview: This is a powerful piece. The imagery is vivid, painting a tragic picture of someone caught in the throes of anorexia. Your word choice sets a somber tone and embodies both sides of the fence...what society sees and what the victim feels.

Nice style and flow and this is a topic that needs to be adressed. *Thumbsup*

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* I really loved the contrast. You show how this desease warps the perception of the person looking in the mirror and the altered psychology.

In Closing: Heavy reading material and I think you did a grat job covering many aspects of this disease. It brings a controversial topic to light and shows both sides with equal detail. Very well done. *Smile*

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (5.0)
Apparently I took this poll at one point and forgot to rate and review it. *Blush* I'm here to fix that now.
I really love the topic and question you pose here. I'm always curious as to why other writers are here, and what their long term goals are. I think knowing helps us as reviewers decide how to approach a writer and their work. Plus, I think we all have an innate curiousity, especially when it comes to other people in our circle.

You give a wide array of answers to chose from and the results are interesting as well. *Thumbsup* Great job, Cubby. I have no suggestions.

Best wishes and happy writing *Heart*
~Adriana
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Review of The WDC Review  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (5.0)
The imagery in this piece is absolutely stunning! It paints such a vivid picture and steals one's breath as they read it. The tone, style, and flow all work together to form one amazing piece of art. You embodied the feeling, the struggle, all of it to a perfect "t." Very well done Fyn! I have no suggestions, just unabashed praise! *Thumbsup*
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Review of Her  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Ello D. Marie and welcome to WDC! *Bigsmile* I hope that you are enjoying your experience here and if you have any questions about the site, please feelfree to ask!

This is a review of "Her"  It is my pleasure to read your work and share my thoughts with you!

Overview: This story has a nice air of mystery and intruige that pulls the reader along on the journey. I found myself wanting to know more about Kimberly and why the narrator seemed to have such a conflicted relationship with her. You unraveled the plot at a nice pace that kept my interest throughout.

Kimberly came across as realistic. I think we all know someone like her, a free-spirited wild child and a study in conflicts. It seems sad that her life was cut so short, sosuddenly, but thiss too often happens in life.

The end, despite the sadness made me smile, as I felt she was given a fresh start, a chance to be all the things she wanted to and so much more.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea* This was very well written with no noticable errors. I just wonder if there was a slower way to reveal who the narrator is. It came so suddenly, I almost felt jarred and you did such a wonderful job convincing the reader otherwise throughout the course of the story. Maybe slipping in a few more clues before she steps outside would help ease the transition? Just a thought.

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* I had to take a moment while reading about Kimberly in the casket and the observer's impressions of her. I went through a similar experience when one of my friends in high school was buried. The dress her family chose and the way she was presented broke my heart because it was so NOt her. It didn't even look like her any more and that experience rattled me. I thought you captured that essense to a perfect T in this story.

*Note*Please remember that all suggestions and thoughts are my sole opinion as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you feel best suits your style and the work of art you have created. *Smile*

In Closing: Wonderful story! I really enjoyed reading this and think you have a great style. I look forward to browsing your port again. Thank you for sharing, and again, welcome to WDC!

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ello JAJA LAWERH and welcome to WDC! *Bigsmile*

This is a review of "NO AFRICA, NO MUSIC"  It is my pleasure to read your work and share my thoughts with you!

Overview: A very informative and well-witten article about the importance of music in Africa. The music that originated there can be seen in the roots of many different genres across the globe. Through this article, we are able to see and perhaps wonder what would not be...if we were not so fortunate to have the different cultural exposures that we have had over the years.

This piece had a wonderful flavor and was enlightening to read.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea* Not a big deal, but there were a few places where an extra space or two slipped in between words.

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* I really enjoyed the part about how music is food for the soul, and couldn't agree more. This point became especially poignant when music is used as a way to escape the suffering of famine. I think many of us can relate, having used music as a way to escape, celebrate, or heal. *Thumbsup*

*Note*Please remember that all suggestions and thoughts are my sole opinion as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you feel best suits your style and the work of art you have created. *Smile*

In Closing: Wonderful job. I love learning new things and it made me smile to read just how huge of a roll music plays in other cultures as well. This was very well-written and engaging.

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*

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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (5.0)
Powerful and moving article. I think any of us can relate to this piece, no matter what stage of life we are in. The simple truth is, none of us really know what tomorrow holds and the only certainty in life, is death.

Your words are poignant and beautiful, and within this piece, you give the reader a very valid point to ponder. The story about the ailing man and his wife struck home. Those would not be the last words I wanted to hear from my loved one. It would making passing difficult and cause anguish, knowing you leave someone you love in such a state of discordance. It also made me think back to my grandmother's passing which ironically was 10 years ago today. She too was in a coma before leaving this world and 8 month pregnant, with my second child, I took it hard....but I know my last moments with her were special...I did as you suggested and held her hand...told her how much I loved her, that I would miss her, but it would be okay and I asked her to watch over both the child I lost in heaven...and the one I carried.

Your words really struck home in so many ways. You are a brave and beautiful soul to share such advice and to face the struggles you have. I have no suggestions for improvement...only my most humble words of thanks. Should I ever be in those shoes again, where I am lucky enough to have a chance to say goodbye, your words and wisdom will be what I remember.

Best wishes always *Heart*
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Review of someday  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very sweet. Short and to the point, this poem packs a powerful punch in just a few lines. I think it is important for the ones we love to know what we are willing to do for them. This was well written and enjoyable to read. The only thing I might consider for this piece is capping I'm and paybe adding some punctuation for added emphasis and pause.

Welcome to WDC! *Heart* I hope you find your expereince here both enjoyable and rewarding.
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Review of Pride  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.0)
These words are very poignant. I couldn't help feel a bit embarrassed as I read them because I am often accused of the same thing. This is a well versed example of the walls and mechanisims people throw up in order to protect themselves, but you show with great clarity the impact it can have on the people sitting on the other side. Thank you for sharing this enlightening piece of work and welcome to WDC! *Bigsmile*
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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (5.0)
Overview: This is a touching story about one woman's struggle with cancer. You show her inner struggle, the fear, the doubt, the uncertaintly she feels in heartbreaking detail. The reealistic emotion and vivid setting almost make the reader feel like a voyeur as they watch these private moments unfold.

Very well written, beautifully worded, this story is one that readers of all ages and walks of life can both appreciate and enjoy.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea*
Not a thing! This was an incredible tale of life and survival, without one error to be noted! Excellent work! *Thumbsup*

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star*
The imagery. I felt immersed in the setting and the unique wording and pacing pulled me along, like sifting time through an hour glass.

*Note*Please remember that all suggestions and thoughts are my sole opinion as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you feel best suits your style and the work of art you have created. *Smile*

In Closing:
Superb work! This was such a joy to read and a very well-deserved win in Short Shots. I'm actually humbled to have paced near this. Thank you so much for sharing your incredible talents.

Best wishes and happy writing! *Heart*
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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there SWPoet *Smile* I'm here to review your essay as a judge for "Project Write World" 

Initial impressions: This was absolutely heartbreaking to read. I can't imagine being in those shoes. Neither yours or that poor girl's. I really liked your use of the prompt and thought it fit this situation perfectly.

Subject: A young girl is being transported to a new foster home. When she sees it is in the projects, the one place her mother made her promise she would never live, a deep inner conflict arises in both social worker and child.

What I learned: Life is often a series of heartbreaks. This unfortunately seems to be the case most frequently for those who deserve happiness the most. On the other hand, responsibility and obligations have a way of forcing us to make desicions that go against or instinct or the urges in our heart.

*Star*Favorite Part:*Star* It broke my heart to read how this promise was the only thing her mother ever said to her without her fists. *Sad* No wonder it had such a strong impact.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement:*Idea*
It's a small thing really, but the double-spaced format threw me off. I would have also liked to see some details that gave me a sense of the area of the world you are writing from...some small details about the southwest or statistics that let me know where this essay was based on.

Note: *Note*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you and the work of art you created!*Note**Smile*

Parting Thoughts: A very touching story and essay that resulted from it. I enjoyed reading this and thought you ended it on a perfect note. The prompt tied in so well with this article, and I couldn't agree more. *Heart*


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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Ello Rebekah :) !

Wow. I never really stopped to think about how much impact food can have on our lives, especially for someone newly diagnosed with diabetes. Like you used to, I pretty much pack down whatever I want, with little to no consequences...that I can see.

This is a candid insight into just how much impact this diagnosis has had on your life, bith short and long-term. Infused with humor and good advice, it's an educational piece and also one people will enjoy reading. Especially those in a similar circumstance.

You go full circle in this article, discussing the changes you have made and how they have effected you. It's inspiring to watch people cope with hardship with a bright outlook and rise to overcome their challeneges with grace and dignity. *Thumbsup*

*Star*My Favorite Part*Star*:
Your blunt manner of speaking and the humor you inject into this piece. I'm also happy to see the changes you are making now will be ones you stick with long term.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement*Idea*:
I'm not too keen on the parenthesis, but they seem to work in this piece. Annddd...since it is not a work of fiction, I'll let it slide. *Laugh*

*Note*Please remember that I am no expert. These are merely my humble opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you wish!*Smile*

Closing thoughts: You know...I can feel your pain at the moment. My gum is so swollen on one side right now that I can't close my mouth all the way, let alone chew. It's been applesauce and liquids for me the past two days. *Frown* That aside, this is a great article that shows your strength, humor, and the determination you have to remain healthy. Not just for yourself, but for your children, and that is an admirble thing to do. *Heart*

Best wishes always,
Adriana

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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ello Rebekah :) !

This is a very interesting story. Reading it, I felt each reaction was realistic and portrays the different views encompassing this past election. Each different character brought a new view and a different set of circumstances to the table. It's a well rounded piece in that aspect. *Thumbsup*


*Star*My Favorite Part*Star*:
I really liked Tom's final thoughts. Politics are such a touchy subject for many. In the end though, it doesn't really matter who wins or loses. All we can do is hope for the best, no matter who the canidate may be. Democrat, Republican, it is no longer about parties or views, but about our country as a whole.

*Idea*Suggestions for Improvement*Idea*:
this is merely a matter of personal taste. I would have liked this piece to be slowed down just a little. By that I mean taking the time to describe a few little details about the surroundings and people themselves. I think this would help show the story better, rather than telling it.

*Note*Please remember that I am no expert. These are merely my humble opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or discard them as you wish!*Smile*

Closing thoughts: A very thought provoking item! It is interesting how much difference a simple change in perspective can make. I enjoyed reading this and look forward to seeing what else is nestled within your port.

Best wishes always,
Adriana

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Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Beezus, Mara! *Cry* You had me bawling like a baby here. I cannot imagine anything worse for a person to go through. My mother's heart broke, shattered, and bled, reading your words. You managed to ensconce the grief, guilt, and misery in heart-rending clarity. Yet, beneath it all, your words are beautiful.

You penned this story with perfect precision. Setting, emotion, and characterization all flow together in a seamless, unforgettable package. This is a gripping emotional saga that will hold your reader's in your thrall and put thier heart strings to the test. One agonizing moment tore this family asunder and left a void that nothing can fill.

It's not often you write in 1st person POV, but this tense obviously suits you. This is, in my opinion, your best piece of work to date. Between you and Kiya, I don't stand a snowball's chance in hades this month! Talk about ruthless competition! Lord! *Worry*
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