OVERALL THOUGHTS
hi L. A. Powell nice poem. SUGGESTION
NO SUGGESTION FAVORITE LINE
Now, I await the scurry
of mortal prey
hiding from the dark,
in the water blurry,
fleeing, floating, flying,
'til Luna rises stark.
Sated, soon it passes and I'll seek others, this I know.
But, I'll not be touched again
by the Empress flowers pure,
for Innocence and Wind,
have never shared allure. LESS FAVORITE LINE
It settled in a fury.
Cold and wet,
it faded fast.
I wondered in a worry,
after sunset
if it would last.
I, who loved the wind and missed it so.
It darkened in a hurry,
and I alone
found in it, a light.
Adrift in a flurry,
from the Empress,
they touched me, white
and soft, stirring needs shaped long ago. RATING
5.0 REMARKS
EXELENT,KEEP UP THE GOOOD WORK,& BRAVO
OVERALL THOUGHTS
what a nice poem. SUGGESTION
I was in the a distance
for so, so long.
FAVORITE LINE
From time to time I'd listen.
Other times I'd speak.
A voice in pale transition.
Hearts grew faint and weak.
There's no poetry about her life,
her unoffending style.
Just a passing thought, I think.
Something rarer than her smile. LESS FAVORITE LINE
Then she died.
I was in the distance
remembering her touch.
The kids gone off in other worlds.
Though she had wished as much.
Sick she was, for so, so long.
Yet we couldn't say what for.
Symptoms of a life less lived,
and the constant weight it bore.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: Hi Ottosmagic13 i like your poem.
SUGGESTIONS: NO SUGGESTION
FAVORITE LINE: That funny type of wit that can expose
Itself as purposefully polyphonic prose
Is so much neater, when placed into meter.
Even random raving rants simply sound sweeter.
The “bumpa, bumpa, bumpa” beat of Pope
Should give any aspiring artist hope
LESS FAVORITE LINE: Should give any aspiring artist hope
That even your mangled and off-beat tries
While never necessitating a Nobel Prize
Would only end up sounding even worse
If not carefully crafted into cadenced verse.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: Hi L. A. Powell what a amazing poem.
SUGGESTIONS: NO SUGGESTION
FAVORITE LINE: With a strength unseen but never hidden,
we sought what we started
and looked behind Illusion's Lock
to find outside each but inside both
Infinite Trust, the manna of love known true
unreleased by me, held ever worthy by you.
LESS FAVORITE LINE: But a malediction spread its magic black
across the hours promised
in a game of wasted years.
Thought to harm at first
salvation's seeds were planted
by that favor in disguise.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: Hi Basilides you have a very long story.
SUGGESTIONS: NO SUGGESTION
FAVORITE LINE: So if you leave the Alder-tree from whatever world to which your vision has been guided, turning away from that holey place; and if you walk past the Giant’s Grave with the voice that whispers after ‘Dermot’, then clamber down the hill and through the tall grass nineteen paces to the stump of the ash, and you take the ancient paths overgrown and dark with trees, finding the Road back to the little town of Cong in the West of Ireland: do not bother to look for the old man in grey pants and a blood-red vest. You will not find him. His medicine will have done its work.
LESS FAVORITE LINE: I blinked. The marble-sized drop of alder-sap still rested on a mossy bed in the perfectly round hole in the alder tree. I left it there in its place. I did not dare to touch it.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: Hi Jerry Powell nice to see you.I like the way you show your non-fiction.
SUGGESTIONS: NO SUGGESTION
FAVORITE LINE: Kaleb did it twice more. Nana, always adaptable and easy going simply went and got another toy. Still, Kaleb dropped the one he previously took, toddled over and grabbed the newest toy in Nana's hand. I watched, to see what Nana would do. I honestly expected her to whack him the next time he tried it.
LESS FAVORITE LINE: They chose me as their babysitter for Arianna(Nana) and Kaleb, my only grandson(so far). They haven't really seen each other much. A day or so, here and there, but they seem to know each other well.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: Hi Jerry Powell I love your non-fiction.Can i ask question how did you did it?Nice job!
SUGGESTIONS: the sentence of Do that and you'll make it."
should had a question mark becuase is a question.
FAVORITE LINE: Janette, a 21 year old gifted at almost everything from poetry to photography and the mother of a special little boy;
LESS FAVORITE LINE:
The time is approaching when I assume the role of family patriarch, one I could not do before, and perhaps cannot do still; but I am now motivated to try.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: What a great article.I like your article very much.Becuase i want to know about historical cities.
SUGGESTIONS: I think the spelling of your nieghbour is wrong it should be nieghbor.
FAVORITE LINE: Back outside, the gradual upward incline leads on to Castle Hill, and on the left hand side is the imposing feature of Lancaster
LESS FAVORITE LINE: Have you ever spent a few minutes or hours looking at holiday brochures and thinking ‘I wish I was there’? Or read a battered paperback copy of a Bill Bryson book and longed to travel in his footsteps? Maybe you’ve got one of those antique effect
MY RATING:4.5
REMARKS FANTASTIC!,EXELENT! AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
OVERALL THOUGHTS: I love your poem.And the birth day of my friend Jolly is September 11
SUGGESTIONS: CAn you shortend the 19th line.
FAVORITE LINE: Firefighters braved the towering inferno's wrath
But their efforts were almost naught
Many lost their lives instead,
Because evil had already reared its ugly head.
LESS FAVORITE LINE: In a city of desolation, gloom and despair
New Yorkers rallied without fear
And like the Phoenix rising from the dust
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