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26
26
Review by J. Lee
Rated: E | (4.5)

A Philosophic Response and Review

of...

DO WE NEED RELIGION, MORALS AND ETHICS?


I first and foremost would like to applaud and recognize the message you bring forth. I highly agree with the underlying theme, however take a bit of a different stand on my views in your theory.

I know it is somewhat unnecessary to say in reviews that 'this is only my opinion', however in this case I almost feel it completely necessary given the topic and touchiness of the topic you have written on.




Click for my feedback and review

Click for my response to this piece


Thank you for this piece, and I look forward to reading more of your pieces.

*Smile*


J. Lee
27
27
Review of Dear Me  
Review by J. Lee
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there!

This was a refreshing read! I literally had just put a book down which helps set financial goals, gave a few moments of thought towards the fact that I no longer carry daily or weekly goals, and then I came on WDC and hit the 'Random Read' button and this came up. Little bit of a message from above maybe?!

Fully out of curiosity : I am aware this piece is 4 years old, how did that year go? Did some/all of these goals get met? How does your basement look? Hopeful that things went well!

Thanks for posting this *Smile*
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28
Review of Handicapped  
Review by J. Lee
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there! *Bigsmile*

This was a very quick piece, with a massive and powerful truth in it. I could not have chosen any better words than you did in the following lines :

Sometimes, what I can't do, is all you see.
Then to you, sometimes myself too,
What I can't do, becomes me.


A lot of people can be found guilty at one point or another of making somebody's ability equivalent to their whole character, and sad as this is, it is still quite prevalent. We seem to use others' lack as our veil to hide behind. Somehow we believe it is easier this way than it is to face the fact that we are all flawed in our own ways. The strong and true friends are those who show us our flaws as our strengths, and limit our ego at every turn.

It's also used in opposite fashion as well, where we make someone with massive ability larger than life, and forgive things we would normally condemn others for. Such a funny world when these things are not taken personally, but instead from an outside perspective.

Anyways, soooooooo rambling right now!!!!

Fantastic job on this piece, I am delighted I got the opportunity to read it!

Write On!!!

J. Lee
29
29
Review by J. Lee
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings from Justin!!!

Please be aware that this review is a Quick Review. It just means that I have limited time in writing this, most likely because I am at work, or in the very rare chance that I am on a date!!

Let's get into it!!

The First Impression :

I liked the feel of the poem, and absolutely loved the title of it. It flows well in most parts, and even the parts that break the meter a bit I still was able to continue enjoying the statements you were implying.


The Picture That Sticks:

We cure the disease
and we bully the tease
We simplify ease
and we never say please

Conditions we make
and beliefs we all fake


This stood out to me mainly because of the last 2 lines. I share the assumption that there are many people who believe so blindly in things that they do not portray in their daily lives and actions. To me that is what faking belief would be, cherishing the ideals, but living outside of them.

I quoted the other lines because I find it ironic. We cure the disease, then 'bully the tease' and recreate the disease all over again. We simplify ease, because we always seem to have the driving need to over-complicate the simplicity of things! sort of like my last comment!



The Rating And Reason:

In Quick Reviews I like to give a gut impression rating. I base it on how much you affected me, as a reader, in how short or rushed a time I had to read your piece.

I rated this piece a 4.5 instead of the original 4 I had in mind. The only thing I struggled with was the meter in the end, but I know that when I'm writing a poem I do the same. Sometimes it appears to break meter, but if I were to have you read it to me I am sure it would flow perfectly!


On your request, I can and would love to take the time, when I get it, to give you a more in depth review and a more well thought out rating. If you want such things we can make it happen, just send me a quick email and I'll see to it that it happens within the next 24 hours :) Thank you for this piece none-the-less :)



J. Lee
30
30
Review by J. Lee
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings from Justin!!!

Please be aware that this review is a Quick Review. It just means that I have limited time in writing this, most likely because I am at work, or in the very rare chance that I am on a date!!

Let's get into it!!

The First Impression :

I love the topic of frustration, semantics. I get just as worked up, but just as your character says, we're all guilty of it! I get really worked up, especially with political semantics.

I did think you used very strong descriptions to describe the disgust of the events and characters on TV, but then again, the topic is one of high emotion and frustration, so I suppose it matched perfectly *Smile*



The Loudest Spoken Words:

I almost choke, forgetting how to breathe. Hypocrisy in semantics!!, my mind screams. O' Reilly speaks like a goddamn British Loyalist!

"I know," I whisper under my breath to my dictionary, and I chuck my dictionary at the television set. I know what patriotism is, and I know what is it not. It is not blind submission; it is devotion. When one person is willing to take a stand, he or she is patriotic.

I can hear them now, attacking my statements. Have they lost the concept of American patriotism? Are they aware of their glaringly obvious logical fallacy? Loyalism is submission, and that is what they want from us. However, they say the damned word: patriotism. They have no idea what it means in spite of their Ivy League educations. Once upon a time, they must have known. The history that has been taught shows us true American patriotism: speaking out, enlisting courage, and pursuing what matters to us most.



I liked this part of the story because it screamed out what and how I often feel. I love the fact that you pointed out the need to take a stand, not just be along for the ride. I love the 'rant'-ish way you put this across, and the emotion it evokes if read properly. Great job here!


The Rating And Reason:

4.5

I chose 4.5 only because of one part with a small typo :

SI regain my strength and hit the off button on my television.

OOPS!

In Quick Reviews I like to give a gut impression rating. I base it on how much you affected me, as a reader, in how short or rushed a time I had to read your piece.

On your request, I can and would love to take the time, when I get it, to give you a more in depth review and a more well thought out rating. If you want such things we can make it happen, just send me a quick email and I'll see to it that it happens within the next 24 hours :) Thank you for this piece none-the-less :)



J. Lee

TheWritingRoom@shaw.ca is my personal email address that goes right to my phone if you want to reach me in the fastest way possible. Otherwise I am online every day, and you can be sure there are a few stops here at writing.com while I am surfing :)
31
31
Review by J. Lee
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I really like this chapter for many reasons.

*Bird* I flew through this with the short time I had to read it, but not once did I have a lack of :

*Right* understanding
*Right* emotions like sympathy and empathy for the main characters, and also
*Right* idea of the scene and what it looked like, from description to mood for a complete setting perfection!


I really loved how impactful almost every conversation was. It really gave me the feeling of compassion towards these kids, now adults, who grew up in what they did.

I loved how the son, Samson, was more enraged that he could not start to defend himself and his mother in the father's drunken stoopers than he was upset that he lost a father. Well laid out with beginning it saying he was upset about the funeral landing on the day of a football camp. Details like this really stand out in building character in so few words, well done!!

It was well played out the way you had Jackie going from the teen in the bar getting refused the drink to the adult in the bar refusing to drink. The happiness seemed like she was a sister to me or a good friend, and also alot like I was in Badger's shoes to see that she hadn't yet turned to her father's vice, and his words were not wasted in her youth!


And I especially liked that I'm willing to get in trouble at work to end this review and start reading chapter 2!!

Thanks so much for the read, as always
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32
Review of Things Unseen  
Review by J. Lee
Rated: E | (4.5)

I enjoyed this poem.

*Checkg* It's light

*Checkr* It's positive

*Checkv* It flows well

*Checkb* It made me smile

One of my favorite stanzas was :

Bring me your troubles
Bring me your fears
We can blow bubbles
I can wipe away your tears


This really cheered me up because it is something I would use in one of my poems to show lighthearted strength which can be uplifting and heartwarming at the same time.

Thanks for the work, keep it up!

33
33
Review of Graphics for GP's  
Review by J. Lee
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your wish is my command, and what you're about to receive in your email, you have worked for. You have made me happy to read the couple of pieces and the statement, and I believe you will continue to make others happy and hold people in high regard because of the upbringing you've had.

You will receive a gift in about 10 mins.


Enjoy the upgrade *Bigsmile*
34
34
Review by J. Lee
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings from Justin!!!

Please be aware that this review is a Quick Review. It just means that I have limited time in writing this, most likely because I am at work, or in the very rare chance that I am on a date!!

Let's get into it!!

The First Impression :

I enjoyed this poem for what it is portraying. The epic battle between good and evil is everywhere, and has been written about many times, but in my mind it will never get old. I think it needs to be said and written anywhere and everywhere, especially in the times we are in today. I also like the mixed rhyme scheme for each stanza, I do the same in many of my poems.


The Picture That Sticks:

Lightning strikes
Thunder rolls
This, God likes
And the Devil will pay the toll


I think this stanza sticks out to me because anytime I think of a battle of the highest forces, there has to be lightning. I only say that because that is what I always see in my head when I think of God vs Devil kind of showdowns. Cracks of thunder that are deafening and only able to sound by Godly forces.


The Rating And Reason:

In Quick Reviews I like to give a gut impression rating. I base it on how much you affected me, as a reader, in how short or rushed a time I had to read your piece.

I rated this a 4, but would gladly re-rate it higher with a short edit. The only thing I found hard with this poem was the syllabic count. It flowed well in a lot of places and then in others it started losing that flow. I know what it's like though, because I'm sure you can read your piece and have it flow well, we all know the melody in our own head! *Wink*

That being said, this poem did strike me as well written in the sense that I did relate to the need to take down the Devils army. The statement about fighting the need to cuss, although small, is very big in my life right now. I used to have a bad potty mouth, and then a few children appeared in my life (my nephew and my best friends little ones) and now I hold that view of not cussing close to my heart, but still struggle sometimes!

Either way, well done *Smile*


On your request, I can and would love to take the time, when I get it, to give you a more in depth review and a more well thought out rating. If you want such things we can make it happen, just send me a quick email and I'll see to it that it happens within the next 24 hours :) Thank you for this piece none-the-less :)



J. Lee

TheWritingRoom@shaw.ca is my personal email address that goes right to my phone if you want to reach me in the fastest way possible. Otherwise I am online every day, and you can be sure there are a few stops here at writing.com while I am surfing :)
35
35
Review of The Light  
Review by J. Lee
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey Joseph, thank you for the kind review. I feel it is only right to return the favor, and I am very glad that I did.

It isn't often I get around to reviewing poetry, and I will tell you the same thing I tell any poet I review. I love how poetry can be judged on a different standard from all other writing. Jim Morrision once said "Listen Closely, Real Poetry Doesn't Say Anything"

To figure out what he meant would take too much for me to ingest haha But my understanding of this is that real poetry says something different to everyone, therefore never really having a single voice.

I love this piece because to me I see exactly what you described it as, the true essence of being, of one's self. We are all light, and so is our creator, which could be nothing more than our own light above. I will not go too deep into the philosophy of a creator as a lot of people may not especially appreciate it! But if this was not your view, I do not mean to take anything away from such a brilliant piece!

This poem has a fantastic rhyme scheme, and uses some rhymes I would struggle to find, and being a writer of both poetry and lyrics, I look for rhymes often! I hope to read more over the days after I have slept haha (It's kind of late for me to be up right now!)

Best of everything to you, may we meet again :)

Justin
36
36
Review of our witch  
Review by J. Lee
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I have never had this happen, but I have no comment other than amazing job! I got to find this on the random read button, and I am very happy I got this piece as my prize to read!

It flowed fantatically, even with the pause phrases. And it gave me the eerie excitement of being young again, spying in on my mysterious fantasies, always wondering but fully knowing what was not really set as truth. I don't know if that is what you were going for, I actually think it's not, but that is why I have a love of poetry.

Thank you again!

J. Lee
37
37
Review of You Are There  
Review by J. Lee
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please be aware that this review is solely based on my opinion and preference only. I am one reader out of many, and by no means wish to do any more than provide a different perspective which is both helpful and encouraging as much as possible!


And now for the fun stuff!!!


The Emotional Affect-Effect :

I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. My very first poem when I was younger with any emotion behind it was written for my first love. A very sappy and sad piece, but it was the first time I ever realized I could feel like that for someone, and also the first time I ever realized I had an ability to put feelings on paper. So much of my current life and skill set I can attribute to the first love, and also the people who I was lucky enough to be with since then :)



The Perfect Portrait:

Eyes so blue

The sea cries out in envy

A smile so warm

The sun has no use to me


I really like the way you use the 'forever love(d) concept here in the love itself being incomparable to the things we hold as truly beautiful in our life. I'm not a fan of love poetry most times because I struggle with accepting the enviousness I have of people in happy relationships, but this excerpt really made me feel the happiness of being in one again, if only for a short while :)

My Favorite Excerpt:

Your warmth shines right through me

Your courage and strength inspires me

When times are rough, when times are tough

All I have to do, is fill my thoughts with you

Anywhere, Everywhere, You are there


Such a dangerously true statement. I have the one person I can think about who does the same thing. It can dissolve any momentary hardship, and also open wounds I refuse to have sewn up. I don't believe this is your intent at all in what you are saying, but that's why I had told you I put Poetry in a whole different perspective, because 'real poetry doesn't say anything'. We give it the life. You have your purpose for writing it, and I have my accounts as I read it. Similar to story writing, but so so much different. (by the way, the quote is Jim Morrisson.)

That Technical Grammatical 'Wish-I-Had-Done-One-Last-Edit' Kind of Stuff:

Constantly, your on my mind

Your warmth shines right through me

Your in all of this should be You're. I do this soooooo much!!


The Overalls:


Thank you for posting this piece. I really enjoy when I can take a non biased stance to a work and feel real emotion based on it. As I said last night and also in this review, that does not happen often when I read poetry, but when it does, it is very worth every feeling I get.


I hope this review provided the type of feedback you can grow from, no matter what that looks like to you :) If there are any places you wish I had touched on in more detail, or categories you wished I had included in my review, I would love to hear from you. Also if you don't agree with what I said and want to let me know or ask why I believe that, once again, my inbox would embrace you as much as I would!! We can't grow if we don't know!!

J. Lee


TheWritingRoom@shaw.ca : For those who wish to email me at my personal address. The only difference is that this address comes right to my cell phone, and may provide a quicker response :) Otherwise I check into writing.com atleast once every day!!
38
38
Review by J. Lee
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings from Justin!!!

Please be aware that this review is a Quick Review. It just means that I have limited time in writing this, most likely because I am at work, or in the very rare chance that I am on a date!!

Let's get into it!!

The First Impression :

Fully agreed on the topic that too many people fear the very thing we should be embracing. I love how you used the idea of putting image before substance as this is a common factor in why so many 'love' filled relationships end up running out of room for the 'love' part of it. In the end image is vanity, just like materialism, and unless you clear up some space there is only going to be so much room to place that love before things start overloading and the 'love' that started it all is lost under parcels and pool tables and jewelry boxes.

I was looking up the definition of love at dictionary.com the other day, and I was laughing because there were something like 23 definitions of love on many different headers. It was brilliant, and your piece helps point out the fact that it is our own insecurity and ego that creates such a silly number of definitions for something that should be completely natural in the first place, just sayin haha



The Thought That Sticks:

With this obscure sense of subjectivity we see a universal disconnect. There in lies

the paradox of choice in an option driven society. We categorize love like we do to

so many other mundane and trivial things. A categorizing or labeling of love is the

same as an expectation or condition.


Freakin brilliant!! The second we put that condition/expectation on anything the option of it being love, in my eyes, should be completely removed. Love is and always will be unconditional, regardless of the type of situation. Anything from a family love, a friendly love, a romantic love, a pet, you name it. Actually what's funny is that a lot of us show our pets a more true and pure form of love than we show the people in our lives. There's a fun concept for the Cult of Self.


The Rating And Reason:

4.5 - For reasons of punctuation, because although you are aware of it, it ends up affecting the reader experience in any piece. Keep it going though man, I'll be back!

In Quick Reviews I like to give a gut impression rating. I base it on how much you affected me, as a reader, in how short or rushed a time I had to read your piece.

On your request, I can and would love to take the time, when I get it, to give you a more in depth review and a more well thought out rating. If you want such things we can make it happen, just send me a quick email and I'll see to it that it happens within the next 24 hours :) Thank you for this piece none-the-less :)


And I know the green writing in my reviews don't necessarily apply to you so much, but I'm quite lazy in editting my templates right now haha. Hope you're well bud.

J. Lee

TheWritingRoom@shaw.ca is my personal email address that goes right to my phone if you want to reach me in the fasted way possible. Otherwise I am online every day, and you can be sure there are a few stops here at writing.com while I am surfing :)
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Review of The Cult of Self  
Review by J. Lee
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey, I'm Justin.

Please be aware that this is an opinion based review to provide you feedback from a reader's point of view, and by no means suggests fault against anything you have written, nor correctness if you can appreciate the logic in duality.

So...

The Emotional Affect-Effect :

I honestly felt like I was getting preached to, in a very forceful and somewhat punishing way. I see that as an attribute in this piece as opposed to the negative impact it may have sounded like.

I agree with your opinions in this work of art, although possibly from a different angle. The 'Cult of Self' the way you describe it looks like it is something you may also be trapped in while writing this, not necessarily in your daily life though. I know when I write an emotional driven piece it reflects my true feelings and beliefs, but rarely is how I outwardly express my daily affairs, merely guiding them instead of making others victim to them.

I definitely felt emotion as I read this, and a strange mix of emotions I rarely get from one common source. I felt anger in two ways, one is that we opinion based writers love to draw stereotype to all human nature based on perspectives held within ourselves. In my case, my perspectives apply to a lot of people, and it's taken me some time to speak more from my own point of view and respect the fact that the whole world doesn't fit into my categories, it's not realistic to believe that nor is it ever correct.

You have a strange spin with your topic though, in that it is something people will either fully agree with, or fully disagree with, whether outright or only with emotional relation. There is no worse scenario than somebody being on the level of, 'I don't like it, nor do I dislike it' because then it typically means I had no impact on the reader at all. So kudos to you for getting the better half of both sides in me.

I felt extremely happy that people, yourself in this instance, are starting to realize that we have a lot more to do with ourselves than a lot of us take responsibility for. That is the overall impression I felt you were trying to give in this article. And I was also highly intrigued with the passion you have in writing this, because although you end up insulting the human species a few times throughout, you also show that you have reached that breaking point where it is not ok to absolve ourselves of our consequences by hiding behind a deity of any sort.



The Writing Basics:

You did a pretty good job at the fundamentals in this piece. I wasn't interested in looking for grammar or spelling or punctuation as the piece drew me in right away, so good job there. The only one that popped out, solely because I do the same thing in many stories I've written, is listed below.

We (,) like all species (,) are tiny carbon based life forms that live on a tiny planet among infinite planets in an ever expanding universe.


The Money Shot:

We use a divine figure with some altruistic plan to justify our own ulterior motives.

God is our ultimate scapegoat.


This is a great realization in exploring the negative aspect of any fundamental belief in religion, it yells loudly and pinpoints a large amount of people's frustration, which in the end pushes them away from themselves. I believe being in union with any deity we believe, while at the same point respecting ourselves and others enough to take credit for our goods, and our negative traits, instead of owning our goods and blaming our 'motives' on others, is the ultimate perfection. I use God's help in the same way agnostics or atheists would use themselves, because sometimes I honestly don't trust my own conscious decisions, and turning them up to God (or higher self, or self, or anything at all) helps me come to a better conclusion with more beneficial results. But I will never blame my mistakes or my misunderstandings on anyone or anything outside of myself. In the end the question is where does your faith lie, because the religion is just the choice, the answer that makes the change is the belief itself, whether that be in something, someone, or the ultimate, our own true good nature.

The Overall Rating:

I was bouncing between 4 and 4.5 on this. I found that the reason I leaned to 4 was because I felt like I was being told I am something I am not. It frustrated me to feel like that, for one main reason... I used to be the same way, and still can be at times. And when somebody can write a piece that reminds me of my growth as well as areas I still need to, as well as make me excited with the passion it's done in, I will always end up giving the higher rating, even if I don't agree with the style. I used to constantly shoot others down (which I don't believe is your intent in this piece) in order to voice my frustrations that I built due to experiences with any number of people, but in the end I have finally settled into a form of writing which holds me responsible for my ego (which I believe is what your soul's desire is to do in this piece). So on that note, you did a fantastic job at reaching me in every area necessary to make me want to go into your port and read more. Thank you.

I hope you found this information helpful, if there is anything I missed that you would like an opinion on, or anything that you would rather was not included, I'm open to feedback. Also if you disagree with anything I said or felt I missed the point, I would love to hear about it as well.

I don't say this often, but I think I could learn a lot from reading your pieces if they are all written like this, no matter the topic. I also believe you may find some of my pieces interestingly similar, or maybe not haha If ever interested a decent place to start would be
Fire : I Am Mine . Best of luck with your creative talent, you definitely have a great voice for writing.

J. Lee

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Review of A Prayer  
Review by J. Lee
Rated: E | (5.0)
I give this a five star for a few reasons...

1st - I am a huge fan of prayer from the heart instead of prayers from books or others (which are still great)

2nd - I've written many prayers I haven't posted yet, and this is a huge inspiration to do so :)

3rd - One of the bigger reasons by the way, I can see the happiness, gratitude, need, hurt, and love the whole time, and that is always the main point of atleast my writing :)

4th - your consistency with no punctuation and little to no capitalization, this is the style TO THE TEE that i write in most often, all the way down to line lengths

5th - rhyme pattern not structured but still flows and hits well (i tend to judge on different merit there as a bit of a hip hop artist, iambic pentameter is not always the best way to get rhyming to work, or any other structured process)

and lastly, it is real.

Thank You for sharing :)
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