The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Colorful and a pleasure to read.
The Plot: A royal maiden visits a Prince's ball. She has feelings for the Prince but her hopes are crushed.
What I enjoyed? As I have written at the beginning, I found your choice of words to be vibrant and cheerful. Your talk about flowers and spices transported me to a different world, a heavenly and beautiful one. I marveled at the Prince's chivalry for treating every maiden with utmost respect. In the end, I couldn't help but feel sad for Tansy.
Friendly Suggestions: I found the description between Andrew and Antony a bit irrelevant. But, that's me.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Easy to understand.
The Plot:A young boy ventures inside a haunted house on Halloween of all days!
What I enjoyed? I liked the courage of the boy who is the protagonist of this story. Having a conversation with a spirt and then venturing upstairs a house that is spooky does take some guts! Your descriptions of the house are powerful and vivid. I found it interesting the way you described the presence of the Spirit - the part where the seat pressed down as if somebody was seated on it.
Friendly Suggestions: You write Holloween.
You write One step at a time I cross the street under the broken street lamp up to the raw iron fence and the gate frozen shut all these years. It should be I crossed the street.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Simple and lucid. A pleasurable read.
The Plot: A story of two lovers who resolve to encounter their destiny together. That one of them is cursed does not deter them from the path of love.
What I enjoyed? I liked the smooth flow of your words. Some examples:
i. with the steadying beam of the lighthouse, love could steer them through the most tempestuous of seas.
ii. Ancient symbols erupted in ghostly inscriptions; the hushed silence of whispered forests whispered across her thoughts; and behind it all, a hidden waterfall shimmered under the moon.
The love between Yvonne and Dylan touched me with its sincerity and steadfastness. You describe the chemistry between them well. The part where Yvonne declares her commitment to a a lifelong bond knowing the pitfalls of the relationship moved me because the relationship is not based one mere passion but love and sincerity.
Friendly Suggestions: I would have liked the story to reveal a bit more of the curse. Without it, it feels incomplete. I was half expecting Dylan to be a vampire or some spirit.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A lady ventures inside a strange building and faces disastrous consequences.
What I enjoyed? There are several things I enjoyed. You have a nice style of writing. Right at the beginning, you managed to hook me. There was no way I would have left this story halfway. The feelings of despair and horror are vividly described.
Friendly Suggestions:The horror genre does allow the writer a fair deal of creative license. But if the author manages to weave in a logical plot, it would make for a great story. I found this missing in your tale. At the end, the mystery of what was it that lurked inside the building remains unclear. We know that it is sinister and baleful. But what exactly is it?
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Smooth and a pleasure to read.
The Plot:A beautiful description of a woman's struggle to reconcile with her huge personal loss.
What I enjoyed? I loved your language. I liked the way you take us through a journey of all past memories and experiences. I liked your attitude and the manner in which you decide to pick up the threads of your life.
Friendly Suggestions:If you have unplugged your phone, how would you be able to take a call from the insurance guys? Just a thought.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot:An interesting depiction of a dental procedure.
What I enjoyed? I enjoyed the smooth flow of your passage. You used perfect words to create a powerful impact. Examples are: sensory anticipation, overpowering numbness etc
Friendly Suggestions: This story has been highly rated by the WDC community and hence I make this suggestion with some hesitation. Right from the beginning, I understood that this is about a medical procedure. This is because of one of the genres mentioned by you is comedy. Maybe you could remove comedy from the genre. And in the item description you mention something like "A woman trembles as she prepares for a forced violation of her body." Just a thought.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: Two little girls meet the owner of a monstrous house. Her identity turns out to be a real surprise.
What I enjoyed? I enjoyed the way you built up the suspense
Friendly Suggestions: The way you create the characters of your story, I thought the roles should be reversed. In the story, Miranda appears to be the bold one who wants to accost the old lady. But it would make mores sense if Maisy would be curious and bold to discover the identity of the lady. Miranda anyway knows her, right? And because Miranda knows her, she (Miranda) would not be keen to strike up a conversation with her.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Simple and lucid.
The Plot: A birthday treat ends in disaster.
What I enjoyed? I liked the twist that comes at the end when you reveal Roger's true identity. You also were able to disguise well his true antecedents till the end. To be honest, I also did end up laughing at the absurdity of it all. However, your story once again proves that if anything is too good to be true, it usually is. You should be wary of any friend in an unknown city who wants to lavish you with so much affection and care.
Friendly Suggestions: You could try and make the revelation of Roger's identity more dramatic.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Simple and lucid.
The Plot: A fantasy story about an alien creature who dwells in a cave in a remote island. The creature possesses a rare gem in which he can see events occurring far away. He (using the male proverb thought unsure of the sex) also possesses the power to capture people's dreams.
What I enjoyed? I found the entire setting intriguing and innovative. This is, of course, only the first chapter of a long work, but it certainly has me hooked.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Smooth and lucid.
The Plot:The item description says it all. This is a nice description of a first kiss with a special someone.
What I enjoyed? I enjoyed the way you built up the entire story. The incident with the firefly was cute. I enjoyed the dialogues and the laughter. The man's tentativeness and clumsiness was endearing. The end was delightful. This girl is certainly one who knows what she wants.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Extremely well-written. The language is smooth and lucid. You definitely have a gift.
The Plot: A young boy finds great thrill in putting on his mother's clothes. He gets bolder and ventured quite some distance from his home.
What I enjoyed? I don't have the right word to describe your main lead's mental state. Is it a kink or some sort of depravity or pure perversion? Given the fact that he seems to be harmless, we can only categorize it as his fantasy. We all have ours own. Instead of being judgmental, it is better to go with the flow and indulge yourself as long as you do not cause pain or misery to anyone. I could also identify with his consternation on knowing that he has been captured on camera. We all have our fantasies but are not sufficiently bold to be absolutely brazen and open about it. Perhaps, that is what separates us from the insane.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A story written entirely in dialogue form that delineates a normal day in the life of a couple. It describes the humdrum activities which can lead to a sudden altercation between couples.
What I enjoyed? I found the story humorous and amusing. It is amazing how couples squabble and make up and again end up fighting and reconciling. The most unexpected and inane events can lead to a major showdown. Here, I felt that Sandy was spoiling for a fight. But that it is my point of view, and I hasten to add that I am a male.
Friendly Suggestions: Ted should think of any other reason for a surprise party. A birthday party sounded contrived. Maybe, it was the prompt for which this story was written.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: easy to understand but some of the places could read better by using punctuation marks.
The Plot: An essay on a dream which many women harbor - of a knight in shining armor who will come and sweep them off their feet.
What I enjoyed? I liked the unique interpretation you make of this dream. You show us the practical side (problematic ones) of this dream. You could consider another take also. A knight in shining armor is essentially a soldier. And if he is an object of a woman's desire, it goes without saying that he must also be a murderer. Yes, a murderer of enemies but that would still make a murderer. Would a woman like to live with and love such a man?
Friendly Suggestions:None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Could be smoother. The places where you tell us Teresa's thoughts do not flow well. I understand that you might be attempting to replicate Teresa's muddled thinking given her miserable circumstances but you might want to rework some of the places and use complete sentences.
The Plot: A sinister story of a woman who is held captive by a some sort of a demonic creature.
What I enjoyed? The idea is unique. The metallic objects on which Teresa falls made me curious to know what they actually were. What a revelation they turned out to be!
Friendly Suggestions: Some grammatical errors could be corrected. Some examples:-
You write: it had been ages since had last stood up.
Suggestions: it had been ages since she had last stood up.
You write: and each intake of breath meet a jarring stab of pain from beatings to her torse and abdomen.
Suggestion: and each intake of breath met a jarring stab of pain from beatings to her torso and abdomen.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A story of an eccentric neighbor who indulges in a peculiar pastime.
What I enjoyed? I could guess that this was written for a prompt pertaining to including certain keywords which have been highlighted in bold font. Your story was intelligent, innovative and interesting. You used the keywords weel. The end was humorous.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: High quality writing. Not very easy to understand. Needs focused reading but is a pleasure to read.
The Plot: A story of a human who gets invited to a party thrown by a pixie queen.
What I enjoyed? I was enchanted at the way Marsden gets a makeover to attend the pixie party. The way he impresses everyone by his singing skills was an endearing read. The hint of a romance at the end was sweet and enchanting.
Friendly Suggestions: I would be curious to know what happens to Alfie and Paris when Marsden goes to attend the pixie party. Don't they start looking for their master and get distressed at his abasence?
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A story from Hindu mythology expounding the virtues of one of the avatars of Lord Vishnu.
What I enjoyed? This story is from my memories of childhood days. Prahlad is one of the greatest devotees of Lord Vishnu, the supreme power. His story is an inspiration to all to never lose hope when evil seems to be insurmountable. In the end virtuosity and truth will always prevail.
Friendly Suggestions: Prahlad's mother was Kayadhu and not Leela. Of course, you should verify this yourself and make any change if you deem fit.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Simple and easy to understand.
The Plot: A kindly resident treats with kindness an Alzheimer patient who has forgotten his way.
What I enjoyed? The end was completely unexpected. You tugged a chord in my heart. Your story gives a glimpse into the terrifying life of an Alzheimer patient. It is such a cruel disease which renders the afflicted completely helpless.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A fantasy tale of a mermaid who has taken a human form.
What I enjoyed? The end was unexpected. You caught me completely unaware.
Friendly Suggestions: There are some loose ends you need to tie up. Otherwise, Anna comes across as selfish and self-centered. If she suddenly decides to revert to her mermaid form, what happens to her kinds - Sandy and Erin. She is lose bothered about them just like she is not concerned about leaving behind her husband who adores her.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: The language is complex and not easy to understand. But it is worth the effort because the writer has experimented with a difficult style of writing.
The Plot: A mother laments for the death of her cherished son.
What I enjoyed? This was really haunting piece. You have given words to one of the most devastating losses that any human could experience - the passing away of a child. Even though the child might be an adult, he (she) shall forever remain a child for the parent. The manner and setting of the death makes the poem even more poignant
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Easy to understand.
The Plot: A very young male dragon makes friendship with a female dragon and also with a boy.
What I enjoyed? What made me read your story was the warning that you included in the item description. We are always drawn to the forbidden, aren't we? This was an unusual story. While it was nice that the boy dragon finds a girlfriend (eh! a fenale dragonfriend ), I was not too happy about him killing the human lady in the beginning.
Friendly Suggestions: Try to avoid killing the lady. That would make your character much more likeable.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Smooth and easy to understand.
The Plot: A fantasy tale of child who visits places in her sleep.
What I enjoyed? I quite liked your tale. It is bold, innovative and really fanciful (mean that in the positive sense). I feel like developing on this unique story but I won't because that would be plagiarism, isn't it? . Anyway, kudos to your imagination.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Simple and easy to understand.
The Plot: A poem dwelling on the complexity of a woman's mind.
What I enjoyed? You made a good effort at rhyming. The part where you compare the intricacies of football with the daunting task of deciphering a woman's mind made me smile. I am still curious to know why the girl cried. Have you been able to discover the reason? Would be interesting to know.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Lucid and smooth.
The Plot: This is a beautiful tale of a young mother who struggles to take care of her infant child.
What I enjoyed? I am not a woman but I could fully understand the angst and pain of motherhood. You story was so well written that I was left rooting for the main character. You made me pray that the baby after having been fed did not cause any trouble. It was such a relief when it fell asleep and the hapless mother could find some relief in the arms of sleep. A great short tale wonderfully told.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
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