Overview: From a man's perspective, a way to solve a great issue in the complicted world. When I first read 5 wives, I burst out laughing, thinking it was the craziest thing I'd ever read. Upon delving further, I saw your point loud and clear.
Grammar: NA - everything was good here, nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: I must say you have a unique way of looking at things. 5 being the happy medium. I imagine they would all have to work hard in order to keep up that type of situation. Thanks for the read.
Overview: A poem of nature that shows different aspects. Great job with visuals, bringing the reader into see what is all around them.
Grammar: nothing to point out. All good.
Personal Opinion: Rhyme was well done throughout. My favorite part was the stanza about the willow tree. That part reached out and grabbed me, put a clear picture in my mind and made me sad. Loneliness always fills me with sadness. Nice job.
Overview: A quick story where you wonder who is telling the story, which becomes clear at the very end.
Grammar: Nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: I did really want to know who was telling the sotry. Was it the house? Was it something I could not see. Reading a second time, it is easy to see that the dog would hear and see all of those things around him, waiting for that one moment of pure happines when the man comes home. Nice job. Write on.
Flow/Rhyme: Nice flow throughout each stanza. The rhyme remained in every stanza.
Grammar: Nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: A poem about remembering a past love. Romantic, with beautiful images woven from line to line. The line - frail, human, and alone - really stood out. Brings great sadness with it. No one should ever feel alone.
Overview: The author tells why his birthdate is such a bad one.
Grammar: Nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: Well, I hit your port and saw the standing out, knowing that it holds significance to me as well. It's my anniversary date. But I must say you made me laugh. Here's what I think. Pick a different day, watch and see what happens on that date for the next few years. Bet you can come up with some equally bad reasons to think that day is a bad one as well. Loved the DeNiro reference. Write On!
Overview: Nice poem about a man's life, and hockey as his passion.
Grammar: Only thing I can see is 'joe' might want to capitalize the name.
Personal Opinion: I loved it. I'm a huge hockey fan, so this I get. Nothing ever wrong with doing something you love. Rhyme was good, and it had nice flow. Just made me smile to read it. Thanks for that. Write on!
Overview: A woman lives in a hotel room with her young son, a drift in drugs, and not caring how she is treated to get what it is she desperately needs.
Grammar: Nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: It's quite gripping, had me on the edge of my seat. A few things you might want to consider. When stating what your character is thinking, you can put those thoughts in italics, and take out the 'she thought'. Also the conversation gets lost in the story. Might want to make it a stand alone paragraph for readability. Is there more in your port for this story? I'd be interested in reading more.
Overview: Sweet poem. All revolved around one person that makes you feel.
Grammar: nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion:
Easy to see how this one special person makes you feel. Nice rhyme in the first two stanza's. I did like that you changed the last and focused on yourself, your emotions. Good job.
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Title Title is present throughout the entire piece, both spoken and felt.
Persona Author is speaking to a loved one, one that is no longer with them.
Diction Last line is very telling, even sad.
Imagery Author does a good job of touching on the senses and bringing images to mind.
My Opinion A lot of information and conflicting feelings in this short piece. My take would be of a person who has lost someone to suicide unexpectedly. But, yet, you know them so well, that you sense/see their fears.
Overview: Wow you did a great job with the prompt. It had good flow as the story of the old flames rekindled. Loved the last stanza, not knowing if it was real or all a fantasy/dream.
Grammar: Nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: I enjoyed it a lot. Anything that can take the reader along for the ride is always a good thing. You did it very well. Good luck in the quickie!
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Purpose and Audience The authors focus remains firm throughout the piece. The audience is the residents of Michigan, which I happen to be.
Consistency and Cohesiveness Yes, it is consistant throughout, driving home the author's opinion.
Structure The structure is fine. Summed up fine at the end.
Style Facts are cited, but I found it to be one opinion, without a suggestion, but more looking for someone to come in and fix the stated problem.
Mechanics I found no grammatical errors.
Personal Response I found that author did research information for this article, but I tend to disagree. Just because Gov. Granholm comes up with a plan, does in no way mean that the worst offenders will be released back into society early. There are less violent criminals that could be released to give the state a small break. Other avenues are being sought as well to help relief the financial crisis Michigan finds itself in.
Title/Author: Friends Can Bring Inspiration, by aralls
Overview: A conversation between two people in chat, talking about prompts for a contest. Since I'm a chattie, I had no problem following the conversation-at all. It was funny to see the major differences between the two as they looked at the visual prompts, what they saw, and what they got out of it.
Grammar: Notihng to point out.
Personal Opinion: vI laughed, liked to see the conversation I missed. And yes, I can see how knowing who Mary Tyler Moore is can you make feel old when others are clueless. I'm not clueless, guess that makes me old. Wonderful.
Overview: A sad tale of a girl who has lost her father and still continues to struggle with his passing. She remembers a wonderful time in her life, a precious memory to hold onto that will last a lifetime.
Grammar:
Laughing,, I remembered him throwing it back.
Personal Opinion: Nice story. Gripping and sad, but with a clear message. Life does go on, and yes, we do leave a little part of ourselves behind in those that we love.
Overview: Whoa, never expected this one. Great job at setting the tone, and explaining why she died. The boy could take no more, had to hear her say the one thing he waited years for, yet he never thought for one moment that she would not know the answer to his question.
Grammar: I found no errors.
Personal Opinion: This was something for such a short piece. I can sympathize with him, just wanting that acknowledgement. But to go the lenths he did, boggles my mind. Nice job.
Overview: A gripping piece of a woman who thought love would be enough, that her lover would never turn into something she would end up depising. Love turned into a bitter word, because of a possessive man who made her give up everything she once was. It pulled me in in the very first paragraph and held me until the last line. You do a great job of evoking emotion, pulling on the heartstrings of your reader.
Grammar: I found no errors.
Personal Opinion: Great job with this one. I feel for the woman, wish she'd find someway out. It is easy to identify with her, with what her life has turned into.
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Title Good title. It is used throughout the piece, and has a very specific purpose.
Persona the author is speaking to his wife.
Diction "I notice" is very distinct, direct, telling of what it is he sees, though he may not tell her.
Imagery This is a heart warming piece, makes the reader wish they had that same kind of love, to experience it as well.
Structure Structure of the poem was fine, flowed well.
Theme The theme revolved around the things a husband notices about his wife. And this husband sees much, doesn't let the little things go unnoticed. A very heartfelt, well-writting piece.
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Title
Snow - going with the contest prompt. This title is in direct relation to the young woman and shown throughout each stanza.
Persona Hard to say who the author is speaking to. I have this feeling of someone on the outside looking in. Then I think it's the man, waiting for his lover to come to him. So for me it's a question. Will you answer it for me?
Diction
For me the stand out would be - pierce her in his passion- which is so descriptive, telling of what is to come, that it's not going to be forgettable, but rather something significant that will live on.
Imagery
This is something you do well with. You have a knack for making your words jump off the page as if not reading, but seeing it. It's romantic, and I sense that this was something they waited for, a underlying longing for the perfect moment.
Rhythm How effective is the meter or syllable pattern if used? Is it done to reinforce meaning? Is it regulated well or is it awkwardly forced? What improvements can be made?
Rhyme Scheme Does not apply.
Structure Not my my strongsuit, but I don't see any problems with it. Great flow, nothing to made me stop or that seeemed awkward or out of place.
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Title Villanelle is the type of poem the author has written. Brown-haired girl is for the daughter that has grown up, almost right before the author's eyes.
Persona I believe the author is the speaker. I would say it's a father talking to his daughter, not he little girl he remembers so fondly, but to the woman she has grown into.
Diction
The stand out for me - Now I begin to know you; now I see. It's as if he's sudden awaken to realize who is standing before him. It is repeated, so it drives the point home more than anything else.
Imagery Imagery is woven through every stanza. It is easy to see the love he holds for his child. Memories filter through, making him realize all that she has become, that he does know her - the girl she once was, the woman she now becomes- almost as if he rediscovers this.
{c}StructureIt follows the format for which it was intended. Nothing seems forced, just flows naturally.
Theme How important is the theme? Does it illustrate a universal truth? What idea is the poet sharing with the reader?
I had to look up "Villanelle." New word to add to the vocab. So my impression would be that you used the title for two purposes. Villanelle for the type of poem, and with the description of this piece as her name. Yes, the theme worked very well, was almost a journey that you take your reader on. I would say the poet is sharing an intimate view at his life as a father. Thanks for sharing this wonderful cpiece of writing.
***This review is being given as a part of the Chapter ReCappers Group, in the hopes of giving the author valuable feedback.***
Summarize the Chapter/Short Story~
PLOT - A reporter shows up at prision to interview a man on death row. Irwin is cocky and gives no answers that can satisfy Kitty. He taunts her, leaving tiny cumbs of information, and even takes pleasure in her fear of him.
SETTING - The best visual came at the end after the explosion. Having Kitty looking down upon the scene and describing the chaos, the blown building, and the what happened to the protestors was a great way to show the carnage from the bomb.
CHARACTERS - Kitty, the nervous reporter out to get the story that would make her a household name and further her career. Irwin - doesn't seem to have any remorse for his crimes, doesn't like the judge, his lawyer, or people in general.
GRAMMAR/SPELLING - No grammar or spelling errors that I could see. I did notice some repetitive wording. That is the only thing that I can see hindering this piece in any way.
MY OPINION - So if the bomber is in jail, on death row, and the courthouse is blown to bits, does that make Irwin innocent? One does wonder. Nice job.
Flow: Incredible. Very deserving of the trophy. It easily sweeps you in and takes you through a quick journey of never ending love. Sigh. Nothing wrong with that.
Favortive Part/Line/Stanza:
My heart longs for love's deep glorious stain
What heart doesn't, whether we admit that to ourselves or not. We long for love always.
Flow: You have such a gift, bringing great imagery into your writing, catapaulting the reader there, as if standing on the sidelines watching it unfold before their eyes. I swear I could picture that old man in my mind. Great job.
Favortive Part:
He dreams of soaring with the baseball over
second base and swaying ever so slightly in
tandem with the rocking chair on the old
wooden porch whose planks groan under the
weight of too many feet.
This was a great verse, a scene easily pictured.
Final Thoughts: I am thoroughly enjoying reading your poetry and glad that you won the raffle! I'm on to the next one!
Flow: This piece had good flow and read like a short story. Snowbound indoors until heading out to clear the path to the road. I've been doing a lot of that this winter.
My favoite part:
The birds of winter laugh
while we dig our way out
of paradise to race back to
civilization.
Oh how true that line is! Most of the time we don't stop to look at the wonder of the snow, the quiet calm after the storm. We always tend to want to rush back into the chaos of our everyday lives.
JMO: I enjoyed this one, even knowing I get to go out and shovel in a few short minutes. Snow can be magical, and watching from another's pov gave a nice glimpse of what others see looking out their window. Nicely written.
Really nice. It was more like reading a story than a piece of poetry. It had great flow from on stanza to the next. My favorite part was the end, and it brought such a vivid clear picture to my mind, and I found myself wanting to melt right along with the couple.
FAVORITE PART ~
She runs, he stumbles
And under the Station Clock,
They pour into each other's arms.
***This review is being given as a part of the Chapter Recappers Group. This review is given from my point of view. Have a great day and happy writing!***
DESCRIPTION:His depth of emotions were easily felt as he gazed upon her. I could picture that scene taking place clearly in my mind, without knowing who they were, what the room looked like, or even him for that matter. His thoughts as he watched her, though anxious and trying his best to not show it, clicked and worked very well.
DIALOGUE/GRAMMAR:nothing to point out.
JMPO: Great short! Wish it were a bit longer since I connected to this piece. The glimpse of her through his eyes gave great insight into what a man sees, and what little things can do to a person. It doesn't always have to be wine and roses. Thanks for the read.
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