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Title A path is clear in this one about forgiveness. What is unexpected is the anger that still comes through.
Rhythm There is a clear rhythm in every stanza.
Reaciton It did leave me a bit confused. I was into the angry part, and then it suddenly turned, and for me it felt like I was jerked out of one feelling, and thrust into another.
Suggestions see above.
Overall impression You do well with adding emotions to your poetry. Keep writing. Emotions are always a good thing.
Plot: Adriana is a brave girl who takes a stand against the evil that has taken her mother away, and then her sister. Determined to stop the insanity that the town lets continue, she chooses to head up to Nob hill on her own. All the tales of the forbidden place pale in comparison to what she finds there.
Characters: Adriana is brave and likeable. Has a great mind, strength, and determination. It's the driving force that leads her up the hill.
Use of Prompt: NA
Grammar/Spelling/Repeats: I couldn't find any errors. Repeats were not there either. A good, clean piece of writing.
Overall Impression/Rating: 5.0 It gripped the reader right away. Adriana is a strong character fighting against something she didn't even have first hand knowledge of. Her bravery made it worthwhile.
Your descrptions were great, easy to see the surrounding, and get into your MCs head. Good writing style as well. Nothing was dragged out, or over done. Good Luck!
Title Interesting title to say the least. I skipped it once before, not sure if I wanted to understand the meaning. Taking a chance, I am glad I did. It makes complete sense, and was a great read as well.
Rhythm Rhyme and rhythm were consistant throughout. You followed the poetry outline well.
Reaciton Hungry! lol. This piece described those candied-apples in great detail, so much so that I swear I could almost taste it. If nothing else, it makes me crave one now. The visual didn't hurt either.
Suggestions I wouldn't change anything, it's perfect the way it is.
Overall impression Great job with this one. I really enjoyed it. You have a gift in the ablitiy to bring the reader along, almost as if they are with you on that journey. Great job!!
Title The center ring is in reference to the circus. Looking upon the title itself did infulence my desire to read this particular piece. I wondered what the author meant by the title, and had to take a peek.
Rhythm Rhythm was good, each stanza easy to follow and had good flow.
Reaciton Again the author has the ability to take the reader back to their childhood memories, of places they've been, where fun was had. Never anything wrong with that.
Suggestions Nothing to suggest. I do like the fact that you are able to try so many styles of poetry.
Overall impression Thanks for another journey back to my childhood. You do a good job with feel-good pieces of poetry.
Title The title is the name of a place, that calls to the young, and even the old, where fun is certain to be had by all.
Rhythm Not necessary in this free verse poem.
Reaciton Definitely a feel good piece triggering memories from my own childhood. Racing around from one game to the next. Good job with the imagery, I could picture it well, even with the photo posted.
Suggestions Only thing missing for me were the smells of popcorn, lol.
Overall impression Nice job with this one as well. You do great with bringing back memories, trigging things that tend to rouse a smile. Thanks.
Title The title is telling what's to come, giving the reader some insight as to what this piece is about.
Rhythm Not necessary in this piece, but it did have a certain rhythm to it, a good pace with each thought.
Reaciton Easily understood. I smiled for the child, and felt compassion for the senior citizen. It is the circle of life, just as the last line says.
Suggestions Nothing to suggest, it stands on its own.
Overall impression Once reading it made me think of my kids when they were small, and then my grandfather. You did a great job of remiding the reader of what things are like as hovering parents and children as well. Nice job.
Title The title has a resounding effect throughout the poem, based on the theme of memories from one's past.
Reaciton It's a bittersweet feeling I have reading this one. Since family memories for each person differ to some degree. But it is easy to see that you write for the good times, and those things outweigh the bad.
Suggestions I wouldn't suggest any changes to this piece.
Overall impression I enjoyed this one. Easy to feel the love you have for your family, and that the memories you hold dear to your heart. Never a bad thing. Thanks for sharing!!
Overview: FF entry that contained a lot of detail. Sorry to see Ed gone, but it was clever to have the wife inside the whole time, taking care of business.
Grammar: nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: Congrats on the Awardicon, much deserved. You included so much detail and information I found it hard to believe it was 300 words. Thanks for the delightful read.
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Title The title is the question that plagues the author, that never seems to go away because they are still waiting for the answer, the one that doesn't come, the one that is needed almost in desperation to understand.
Persona I would say the author is the speaker, speaking to those that have violated her in the worst possible way. It's filled with emotional depth, heartache, and lack of understanding.
Imagery Since this is more of an open letter - I'd say there isn't a lot of imagery used here. It's more a range of emotions, or unanswered questions, questions that plague and never go away. The author is searching for the answer, almost as if they will never be complete/whole again until there is a sense of understanding.
Structure Structure was fine and made it easy to read. There is some repetition of certain thoughts, but the unaswered question is the driving force behind this piece of writing.
Theme The "why" is the theme. The author is searching, still after a certain amount of time, and will continue to ask this question until it is answered.
Grammar Just a few little things to point out.
You scared me for life.--did you mean scare, or scar?
Overview: A poem about a house fire and what is left afterwards.
Grammar: Only thing I will point out is repetition. You used the word 'gone' twice very close together. It would be easy to swap out the second one for the word 'lost' or something to that effect.
Personal Opinion: Losing everything you hold dear is always tough to deal with. I liked how you used words to decribe the fire itself, and even feel you can use more emotion to convey the loss, the crackling of the wood.
Overview: A man returns home to find it empty and soon realizes that he is completely alone, no one else is around. Upong futher exploration, he finds a boy named Billy. Later he finds a strange box that he believes has much to do with the disappearnce of everyone.
Grammar:
It looked a lot like a normal plastic box, nothing significant
Personal Opinion: Would have liked to get more into the main characters head. Wasn't he upset to find his family gone? No tears, no sadness. He seemed more like a robot going through the motions than a human being. Just a thought.
Overview: OMG, loved this. A poem that uses Springsteen song's in every line. Great rhyme. Bolding the titles made them stand out. Reading it a second time brought the melodies into my head.
Grammar: Nothing to point out, everything good here.
Personal Opinion: Seriously think you should send this one on to the man himself. Very clever, and fun at the same time. Thanks for the read.
Overview: Wow, I don't even know where to being. Doc - you can write! LOL, just kidding. You pack quite a punch in this short story. Painted a grizzly scene, and took me on a journey I didn't expect. I have so many questions, like that I have to try and figure things out for myself. The river played well into this piece, dumping the body, getting tangled. I loved how Frenchie even joked to himself, plotting his next move. But that was not to be. Great story.
Grammar: Nothing to point out, everything was good here.
Personal Opinion: Loved it. Thinks it's the first thing I've read of yours. I'll be back for more that is a promise. Thanks so much for sharing this. Even got a bit of a history lesson.
Overview: From a man's perspective, a way to solve a great issue in the complicted world. When I first read 5 wives, I burst out laughing, thinking it was the craziest thing I'd ever read. Upon delving further, I saw your point loud and clear.
Grammar: NA - everything was good here, nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: I must say you have a unique way of looking at things. 5 being the happy medium. I imagine they would all have to work hard in order to keep up that type of situation. Thanks for the read.
Overview: A poem of nature that shows different aspects. Great job with visuals, bringing the reader into see what is all around them.
Grammar: nothing to point out. All good.
Personal Opinion: Rhyme was well done throughout. My favorite part was the stanza about the willow tree. That part reached out and grabbed me, put a clear picture in my mind and made me sad. Loneliness always fills me with sadness. Nice job.
Overview: A quick story where you wonder who is telling the story, which becomes clear at the very end.
Grammar: Nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: I did really want to know who was telling the sotry. Was it the house? Was it something I could not see. Reading a second time, it is easy to see that the dog would hear and see all of those things around him, waiting for that one moment of pure happines when the man comes home. Nice job. Write on.
Flow/Rhyme: Nice flow throughout each stanza. The rhyme remained in every stanza.
Grammar: Nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: A poem about remembering a past love. Romantic, with beautiful images woven from line to line. The line - frail, human, and alone - really stood out. Brings great sadness with it. No one should ever feel alone.
Overview: The author tells why his birthdate is such a bad one.
Grammar: Nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: Well, I hit your port and saw the standing out, knowing that it holds significance to me as well. It's my anniversary date. But I must say you made me laugh. Here's what I think. Pick a different day, watch and see what happens on that date for the next few years. Bet you can come up with some equally bad reasons to think that day is a bad one as well. Loved the DeNiro reference. Write On!
Overview: Nice poem about a man's life, and hockey as his passion.
Grammar: Only thing I can see is 'joe' might want to capitalize the name.
Personal Opinion: I loved it. I'm a huge hockey fan, so this I get. Nothing ever wrong with doing something you love. Rhyme was good, and it had nice flow. Just made me smile to read it. Thanks for that. Write on!
Overview: A woman lives in a hotel room with her young son, a drift in drugs, and not caring how she is treated to get what it is she desperately needs.
Grammar: Nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: It's quite gripping, had me on the edge of my seat. A few things you might want to consider. When stating what your character is thinking, you can put those thoughts in italics, and take out the 'she thought'. Also the conversation gets lost in the story. Might want to make it a stand alone paragraph for readability. Is there more in your port for this story? I'd be interested in reading more.
Overview: Sweet poem. All revolved around one person that makes you feel.
Grammar: nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion:
Easy to see how this one special person makes you feel. Nice rhyme in the first two stanza's. I did like that you changed the last and focused on yourself, your emotions. Good job.
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Title Title is present throughout the entire piece, both spoken and felt.
Persona Author is speaking to a loved one, one that is no longer with them.
Diction Last line is very telling, even sad.
Imagery Author does a good job of touching on the senses and bringing images to mind.
My Opinion A lot of information and conflicting feelings in this short piece. My take would be of a person who has lost someone to suicide unexpectedly. But, yet, you know them so well, that you sense/see their fears.
Overview: Wow you did a great job with the prompt. It had good flow as the story of the old flames rekindled. Loved the last stanza, not knowing if it was real or all a fantasy/dream.
Grammar: Nothing to point out.
Personal Opinion: I enjoyed it a lot. Anything that can take the reader along for the ride is always a good thing. You did it very well. Good luck in the quickie!
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Purpose and Audience The authors focus remains firm throughout the piece. The audience is the residents of Michigan, which I happen to be.
Consistency and Cohesiveness Yes, it is consistant throughout, driving home the author's opinion.
Structure The structure is fine. Summed up fine at the end.
Style Facts are cited, but I found it to be one opinion, without a suggestion, but more looking for someone to come in and fix the stated problem.
Mechanics I found no grammatical errors.
Personal Response I found that author did research information for this article, but I tend to disagree. Just because Gov. Granholm comes up with a plan, does in no way mean that the worst offenders will be released back into society early. There are less violent criminals that could be released to give the state a small break. Other avenues are being sought as well to help relief the financial crisis Michigan finds itself in.
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