*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/purpleprincess/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
Review Requests: ON
2,519 Public Reviews Given
2,626 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 -2- 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
26
26
Review of Game of Thrones  
for entry " Nobody
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Abby has just been released from prison and is ready to make a fresh start. She looks forward to the waitressing job in Bear Valley. It's winter, snowing and the parking lot holds only the bus waiting to take her to her destination. The journey takes her to a Roadhouse. She realizes how hungry she is, and can't wait to get inside. Once seated and spooning her soup, she sees a little boy with a purple backpack outside, no coat, freezing the wintery weather.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *Thumbsupl*

Description/emotion: How you described the stench from the bus had me turning up my nose. Good job! You did well showing us what Tommy Lee looked like, too. Abby seems to have a good heart, giving up one of her possessions, especially one she needs, to help the little boy.

Overall Impression: Old Man Hawkins knows exactly what is happening, and even though he tells Abby Tommy Lee's story, she has a hard time believing it, which is understandable. Once she reaches the bus to board for the rest of the journey, she turns to see Tommy Lee with another parolee, and his little voice repeating the same words he'd said to her. That was confirmation that he's a ghost and wrapped up the story well.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
27
27
Review of Martell 2024  
for entry "Mirror Reflections
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Stephanie is worried about reflections in the mirror she thinks should be there, but aren't. In her quest to figure out why this is happening, she goes to see Dr. Mars, of Unique Cases. Everything is normal as she signs paperwork and waits for the doctor to see her. She makes notes of pretty things, for instance, the nurse's scrubs, and the receptionist. When the doctor arrives, she tells him what has happened to her.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *Thumbsupl*

Description/emotion: Good descriptions of Stephanie's surroundings. I liked that after she tells the doctor that she's not crazy, it made her feel a bit uneasy that she blurted it out that way, though the doctor did not seem put off by it. His suggestion of seeing an eye doctor throws Stephanie for a loop, which it should. She's young. She didn't realize this could be possible at her age, but she moved forward and headed off to see Doctor Webster.

Overall Impression: For some reason, I half expected Stephanie to look in the review mirror and see that everyone is a Vampire. It was probably the reference in the story eluding to Stephanie's thought process. It's nice when things work out easily, though wearing glasses for the first time can be an adustment.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
28
28
Review of The Darkest Sky  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Merari and her brother, Jabari know something is wrong by the hushed voices of their parent. Jabari tells her that he cannot complete his chores because the crops have been destroyed, and the locusts have arrived in droves. Before long, the darkest night arrives, which later they discover lasted three days.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *Thumbsupl*

Description/emotion: The reader and Merari have a good connection. I could feel her confusion, dread, and fear as things transpired around them, out of her control. She looks to her father to clear things up, but he, too, is trying his best to keep things together as the battle between Moshe's God and Pharoah continues. When the night encroached, and the children couldn't even move from their spot outside, you made that easy to see. Her father's happiness when the sun came out and he located his children could also be felt.

Overall Impression: This is an impressive take on what happened between Moses and the Pharoah. Good job using the prompt of the Darkest Night. This story was very creative, taking history and weaving it with the prompt. I can only imagine what the fear of knowing you will lose your firstborn would be. Congratulations on winning the Writer's Cramp. Well deserved.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
29
29
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Jenna has powerful dreams, as she struggles through regular life. One night of dreams leads her to a land of small fairies in the most beautiful land she's ever seen. Learning that her dreams lead her to other realms and dimensions, Jenna is excited and cannot wait for night to come back so she can explore more.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *Thumbsupl*

Description/emotion: Fantastic descriptions. The first of Jenna all tangled in her bedsheets, then onto the plush green and vibrant flowers. The little fairies fluttering all about painted a wonder picture of this realm. In her second dream, Jenna knows instinctively that she is now in a more evil place. No sounds, no pretty lights, no beauty. She is quickly captured and taken underground. Dank walls, dripping walls leading to a prison, and bars so big they were made for Giants, not humans, but the giant standing guard, makes it impossible for Jenna to escape.

Overall Impression: Fantastic job with this prompt. You have a wonderful eye that puts brilliant images in one's mind as they delve deeper into your story. I was immediately hooked at that mention of alternate realms, and parallel universes. This could become a much larger story if you are inclined to take it on. A Novel perhaps?




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
30
30
Review of Exploding Daisy?  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: A Giant tells his tale of a common saying, going off subject and coming back, adding in information he deems part of this tale. He lays out the tale of the exploding daisy, how it came to be, and what happened in the aftermath.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *Thumbsupl*

Description/emotion: I found the Giant rather charming in delivering this tall tale. He didn't mince words, was a little sidetracked here and there, and explained why - all those words in his big brain, racing to get out! It must be excruciating. Good moments of humor make the reader smile as the story unfolds. Once the daisy becomes a dandelion, the reader can understand where this tale of the exploding daisy is headed. I didn't expect to find a dragon included, but that also worked well in the story. I could picture that sneeze so clearly, and the description of the poor dragon being launched up into the air was great.

Overall Impression: I liked that the story was directed straight at the reader. The Giant was indeed telling it all to me. It is an engaging story and you worked the prompt in really well, right off the top we know what the objective is, and the story didn't disappoint, just changed to fit this lovable Giant.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
31
31
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: A Knight has been summoned by the King to do his duty, kill the Dragon. The knight doesn't want to kill the dragon, but because he is being offered a knighthood in return, he heads off in search of the dragon. He finds the dragon in a cave and goes in after it.

Spelling/Grammar Issues:
He had human feelings how to surviveand enjoy his mate and their children. -I think it's missing a word and needs a space between survive and and.

Description/emotion: The Knight clearly connected to the dragon. Upon learning the dragon had a mate and two baby dragons, the Knight thinks about his pregnant wife. He thinks about his knighthood and what that would mean, but he cannot bring himself to kill the dragon, not when there are little ones for him to care for. He raises his sword several times, but is unable to follow through. When the little ones come running in, they go right for the stranger, and the Knight finds himself kneeling, petting the beasts and happy. His decision is made. Returning to his horse and heading back to the King, he uses his sword to cut himself and goes back to the king.

Overall Impression: This was a really cute story. I loved that mystical picture you included at the bottom. A little Princess and her baby dragons. Nice job, Megan.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
32
32
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review

Subject: An infliction that forces someone to tell the truth. Very interesting idea as lying, or twisting the truth seems to be the new norm.

Flow: This had great flow, rhythm, and rhyme. You never disappoint with your ability to tell an entire story with your poetry. I couldn't decide if I should feel sorry for his plight, or laugh because I know how difficult it is to bite your tongue, yet sometimes things have a way of coming out.

Description: As a person who lives in the gray, I got this poem. It's easy to remind yourself to think twice before you speak, especially when it comes to touchy subjects. I could picture him annoyed that this thinking had changed in a big way. He didn't even recognize the way he spoke anymore.

Overall Impression: There are some people who really should catch this illness. Wouldn't that make for an interesting world? I enjoyed this piece, and I keep smiling over the last line. Life can make you crazy when you're constantly running around, but the second you're sick and down for the count, all you want is to get back out there. I suppose that's human nature. Painful truths are hard to swallow sometimes. Yet, I think that there are times when it's warranted.






The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
33
33
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review

Subject: You wrote a solid poem about singing and how it affects you. I liked your comparison of singing and your imagination. So many sing alone for various reasons, but you spelled yours out with concrete reasons for doing so.

Flow: This moved well from one stanza to the next, an unfolding story of what singing means and how it makes you feel. The abcb format worked well.

Description/emotion: I believe that everyone is self-conscious about something. For you, it's singing in front of others, which is also because you see your lyrics as wrong, yet comfort your soul. Great imagery in those lines. There is nothing wrong with being aware, but I wanted to know if I missed why you thought the lyrics were poor.

Overall Impression: I discovered your writing on the random review page. Finding light while you're struggling is key, and you found yours in music, for it is comforting for you like a warm blanket is for others. It is a little escape from whatever agony you are experiencing. Not only are you singing, but writing the lyrics as well. Impressive. If this is a take on your life, then I truly hope that you find the alleviation you are looking for.






The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
34
34
Review of SHARING  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Amanda is good at spelling, and Francine envies that ability. Francine is better at coloring without going outside the lines and Amanda praises her for that. The two girls are friendly. Amanda learns that Francine doesn't have a mother when the girls discuss the tooth fairy. They discuss important things like the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, and schoolwork.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *Thumbsupl*

Description/emotion: Amanda drags Francine to look at the fish, but the boys don't want the girls there. This is where the personalities of the girls shine. Amanda is bolder and doesn't take crap from anyone. Francine is more subdued and stays away from conflict. When the girls go to the books, the boys follow intending to dump water on them. Francine finds the inner strength to stick up for herself and Amanda.

Overall Impression: Sometimes you forget how innocent and forgiving young children are. They see right through the crap and get right to the heart of the matter. You showed that well. Good dynamics of second graders and how they interact with one another, especially the boys not liking girls and trying to tease the girls because they didn't like Amanda threatening to kiss them if they didn't let the girls near the fish. I loved that Amanda tells Francine they can share her mother. Very sweet.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
35
35
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Ray and Laura have their life planned out for them, especially the baby timeline, which is still three years away. Ray has made chili for dinner, and the couple have playful banter until they sit down to eat dinner. Ray is quick to make jokes to try and lighten the mood when things turn a little ugly, but Laura isn't having it. Suddenly, a sound rings out and sends Ray and Laura under the table, taking shelter.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *Thumbsupl*

Description/emotion: I loved how these two characters have fun with each other, five years into marriage. They certainly know each other well enough to take things a little further, and Ray seems to know when he should stay silent, though that's tough for him. The emotional crying and laughing from Laura were great. I could identify with those conflicting emotions, and you showed them well. The chili explosion was unexpected, but it brought these two back from the brink of an argument.

Overall Impression: When I first read the description for this short story, I seriously thought it would be more of a physical explosion, with Chili in the title. Nice to be proven wrong. *Laugh* Very enjoyable story.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
36
36
Review of Rush Hour  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline:
Kate is having a rough day, torn between going home to freshen up or heading straight to the hospital to visit her dying father. She hates seeing him there, in that condition, and is flooded with memories of her mother's passing, and what watching her father wither away is doing to her emotionally.

Spelling/Grammar Issues:
much more if it she - of

Description/Emotion:
Great imagery in this short story. I could feel Kate's despair while seeing her father now and remembering what he once was like. You made it easy to follow along on her journey as she made decisions not only about the day but how things were going to go moving forward, with the added insight into what happened when her mother passed away. This linked everything together nicely.

Overall Impression: You penned a well-crafted story. You tackled this heartbreaking story well, letting the reader know Kate's mindset, history, and why she refused to leave her father alone, even though he insisted she go to work. The memory of what they experienced when her mother was dying, and the actions Kate took tied everything together. The reader knows that even though it will be difficult, Kate is going to make sure that her father does not die alone, knowing full well he would the same for her.






The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
37
37
Review of The Coffee Monkey  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: The author focuses on their life, as a new puppy has been thrown into the mix. He lays out his morning routine, family life, and how, after all these years, his wife still appreciates him.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *Thumbsupl*

Description: You made it easy to see your morning rituals, your family life, and how you felt about getting a puppy after the dog had passed away. I liked the description of your youngest daughter rushing to get off to school, and finding moments to bring up the puppy. I could see Marsha under the covers, poking out her head just enough to reply to your monkey comment.

Overall Impression: A solid short story. It's difficult to fill that void after having a pet for so long. It's challenging to say no to our children, and getting the new puppy would still keep up the usual schedule you have made for the morning. The backstory filled in nicely, letting the reader know how life used to be as opposed to now and the impending empty nest.

Final Thoughts: The comment about getting a monkey to make the morning coffee instead of a dog was funny, and I liked that your wife ran with it. There is nothing quite like being appreciated for the simple things you do.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
38
38
Review of A Grand Adventure  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Maggie heads off on an adventure, which doesn't go as planned. Running out of money fast, and dwindling hope, she stumbles upon a Hostel. All she wants is a room and a shower, and she hopes to find someone who, at the very least, speaks English.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *ThumbsUpL*

Description: You made seeing Maggie's surroundings easy. Describing the stench of stale urine added to the visuals. You did a good job describing Supna from the past and linking her to the present. The condition of the hostel gave me a clear image. I could imagine the heaviness of her backpack. The description is fantastic when she first comes face to face with Supna. From the gappy grin to the scarf, it gave the impression that Supna had a rough life.

Overall Impression: Maggie's journey to figure out what is next in her life took an unexpected turn. It was only supposed to be a year off to figure things out, but she ended up settling down with former students. Her generosity to a younger Supna was paid forward. Good deeds of the past were not forgotten. Maggie has fond memories of the couple, yet still seems surprised to find them far away. Seeing that Maggie's initial despair had turned into something good was nice.

Final Thoughts: I liked that Maggie seemed lost initially, yet found something to keep her occupied and worth doing. Who would've thought this would be an opportunity for her to start anew? Staying to work at the Hostel and caring for Supna and Jason's child seems to be her path. It took me a moment to realize that Supna and Jason's parents had indeed come to accept their elopement. That wrapped this short story up nicely.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
39
39
Review of Hope  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: With all the world's problems, one has to ask themselves why they even bother to keep going. What makes you want to get up in the morning, knowing the world will not have changed overnight. Knowing that the issues continue to grow.

Spelling/Grammar Issues:
CITIZENS TO BREATHE LESS.

The only other thing I thought could be addressed would be breaking up the long section. It would be more visually appealing. It's easy to get lost in line when they are all clumped together in a very long section.

Description: I loved the description of your girlfriend, which made me smile. You painted the world in 2017, the way it remains today. War, famine, disease, and poverty never seem to end. The only difference between now and then is which countries are now the object of these never-ending atrocities. You were spot-on when you said war becomes the global version of high school drama. It is so accurate I intend to start using that line!

Good descriptions of a first date, your heart swelling, evil, and destruction. I was right there with you through all of it.

Overall Impression: With all of the crap happening in our everyday lives, with leaders who make the decisions for us, whether we agree with them or not, you still hold out hope that perhaps one day, things will get better. It's all we have these days to cling to.

Final Thoughts: Though this started as a dark piece, you tied it up nicely and brought about hope by the end. It's easy to get caught up in the negative and let it rule your life. I'm glad some things still give you hope that the world can change and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hope is what brings us together.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
40
40
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: A Teifling is running, clutching a book to her chest as she is chased down by guards and a very angry guard captain determined to catch her. His disdain for her is evident in every derogatory name that comes out of his mouth.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: The structure of this short story could use some cleaning up. Perhaps setting the dialog apart from the storytelling. It would make it easier to read and look better on the page.

Description: You do well here, painting the scene of what is happening. Her fear at being captured was easy to grasp. There is enough backstory of what happened to her ancestors to know that her fear is warranted. That, coupled with the conversation between a guard and the captain, lets the reader know that if she is found, it wouldn't be good for her. Good job showing the alcove she hides in, and that she is out of breath as she waits for them to pass.

Overall Impression: I do not know enough about this genre to understand some of the terms you've used, but the story itself was enjoyable. You captured my interest right away with the chase. I wanted to know who she was, why she was running, and why the guards were pursuing her. There is enough backstory to understand that her ancestors were once important and she is carrying on in their place.

Final Thoughts: I was curious as to the importance of the book she guarded with her life, as well as who her boss was. These questions have piqued my curiosity enough to make me want to read more of this story. I see you have another one in your portfolio, and I hope to get a chance to read that one as well.

Happy Account Anniversary!




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
41
41
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review

Subject: This poem concerns a severely broken heart. This author showcases the emotional aspects of what loss feels like. They also convey what, in turn, that kind of loss can drive a person to do when the feeling is all-encompassing. Physical and emotional suffering converge, creating paths to follow that sometimes lead to more tragedy.

Flow: The second stanza had perfect rhythm and flow.

Structure: I liked the form you laid out and the centering of the poem on the page, which made it an easy read.

Overall Impression: You conveyed the heartache, tragedy, and loss well. One loss is difficult to get through; multiple losses leave one shattered, trying to pick up the pieces and feeling cut off from the rest of the outside world. If this is based on true events, then I am truly sorry that you have had to experience this kind of heartbreak and trauma. I am thankful that you are willing and able to put that into meaningful poetry that speaks to me.

Final Thoughts: The heart is fragile, and I understand the compulsion to close yourself off from the rest of the world, protecting your heart and keeping emotions tucked away. Personally, depression, anxiety, and loss are things I try not to dwell on. I am one of those people constantly picking myself up putting one foot in front of the other, and forcing myself to think of other things. This also leads to issues as sometimes all those bottled-up emotions just come flooding out like the gates of a dam were just opened. This reminds us that we all cope differently; there's nothing wrong with that. However, self-harm is scary. Thank you for taking the time and showcasing your poetic talents. You made an emotional connection to your reader.




The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
42
42
Review of Love lost...  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (3.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: A woman wakes from a nightmare of being lost and alone. She goes about her daily routine, bumping into her ex whenever she rides the bus. Finally, she is determined to end the constant tension between them and approaches him on the morning bus ride from home.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: The use of the term cold war to describe their tiff doesn't fit with what you are trying to convey.

Whatever that she desperately

Her eyes feeling dizzy, she felt the palpitation and an emotional spasm ravaged her brain cells. -- This sentence is a lot. She felt dizzy, yes, her eyes, not so much. If you are referring to a headache as an emotional spasm, I understand that. If you mean something entirely different, you'll need to clarify that. For instance, your head doesn't feel palpatations. Your heart or chest, yes.

Description: When it comes to describing things, your word choices seem to be mixing up physical sensations with emotions. Editors look at these types of descriptors as rookie errors.

Overall Impression: I understand where you were trying to go with this love story, but the descriptions, and sentence structure took away from the story itself. There is one part when it seems the point of view is from his perspective, not Sheila's, and quickly reverts.


Final Thoughts: Adding spaces between the paragraphs would help the reader and appeal to the eye. The way it is now, it gets a little confusing if you have to look away for a minute.

I suggest going back to the beginning of the dream sequence. Take each sentence individually and focus on what you want to say. Pay attention to the things you like to describe and play around with word choices.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
43
43
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Subject: Instilling values into today's children so they can continue to be productive members of society.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *ThumbsUpL*


Thoughts: I see that you wrote this as a college paper. Initially, I thought it would be a story, but after the first few paragraphs, I realized it was more of an article. I liked that you showed there are two sides to every story. It seems that the more time passes, the less children are being taught family values at home, which is falling more and more upon the teachers and the school system.

I agree that television and politicians lie to the general public, skewer facts, and put their interests first, further dividing us. They certainly don't practice what they preach. The division is felt in households, religious organizations, schools, and communities.

It is a sad reality that people can be so easily swayed in their opinions, or put their own beliefs in front of everything else. People don't seem to be bothered by the fact that the United States Constitution clearly states the separation of church and state, and they want to shove their belief system down everyone's throats, further dividing us as a nation.

Religion is a great tool for teaching good life lessons. Problems arise when the subject matter is taken out of context and twisted, which tends to happen in every religion. There doesn't seem to be any escape from this.

I appreciate that you pointed out how damaging Jerry Springer's television show was. Yes, it was supposed to be entertaining, but in all honesty, it brought out the very worst in humankind. With every decade that moves us forward, we move further from basic humanity. When we stop to remember that we are all humans, flawed, but together can accomplish great things, the petty grievances disappear, and our common goals, raising the next generation to be better than we were, would make the world a much better place. Thanks for sharing.

Happy Account Anniversary!! *Balloonv* 17 *Balloonv* Years! *Balloonv*







The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
44
44
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review

Good morning!

A shop dedicated to November - National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, Nano for short. I have participated in this activity and made it to the 50k mark, and I know what it takes to get there and also to drop out when the muse goes silent. This community note shop is perfect. There is a little something for everyone who participates in NaNo, from the humorous note with the Dinosaur reminding you that it won’t kill you to the booted foot standing atop a guardrail emphasizing that writing fifty-thousand words in the span of one month isn’t that bad. Yes, it can be overwhelming, but it's just a project like any other you may choose to tackle.

Whoever managed to capture that expression on the cat's face is a genius. That shocked look of horror is absolutely priceless. Every time I look at it it makes me laugh. This would be a great pick-me-up for a struggling writer.

But I suppose my favorite of the ones in your collection would have to be the Batman note. Just reading the caption put the theme song from the television show in my head, making it next to impossible not to sing along. This leads me to another idea for you: Mork from Mork & Mindy with his famous...NaNo NaNo! It's just an idea swimming around in my mind if you were thinking about adding more images to your shop.

Each image is creative, with specific messaging geared toward the NaNo participants. There is nothing quite like a little bit of encouragement when you're facing a difficult task, and NaNo tends to stress writers out when they get caught up on the word count. Thank for sharing inspiration.



The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
45
45
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review

Good Morning!

Overall Impression: What a great concept with these interactive cnotes! Random Acts of Kindness - ROAK for short, receiving the proceeds to help other members on site. You didn’t stop short regarding the price sticker on a community note that engages the buyer and their intended recipient. Five Hundred gift points is not much to spend to get a nice, frozen splat on the screen. Most other shops are pricier when it comes to interactive c-notes. I commend you for this.

I love that you took it up a notch with the winter theme and included some characters here. What winter is complete without the good old Grinch? The image was great as he wound up getting ready to throw that snowball with a sinister look as if he were a pitcher on the mound. That Grinchy Grinch put all of his might into that one throw!

The cannon filled with snowballs brings back memories of snowball fights in the schoolyard. We all wished our arms could shoot frozen projectiles that quickly at our enemies.

You couldn’t leave out the other staples of the season. For instance, a decked out for winter Reindeer. That animal looks like he’s ready for payback from all those years of pulling Santa’s Sleigh. And, of course, we couldn’t forget the best that winter fun has to offer, a snowman.

I can only imagine the work that went into not just a regular c-note, but ones that come alive and bring the recipient some fun as well.


I hope that these snowball fight c-notes have been a great boost every winter for your group. Great community spirit!







The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
46
46
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: A man is floating in a raft in the ocean, confident that he will be rescued soon. He replays conversations and the things they've done to him while he waits to be found. He's not wrong in his assumption that they will come to find him, only in what happens when they locate him in the raft. It does seem that some people have no sense of humor, which made this a memorable story.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *ThumbsUpL*

Description: Yacht people seem to be a major problem for this onboard cook who makes one little mistake. The Yacht people have taken matters into their own hands after a few incidents that set the cook adrift. You did a good job of showing the events that led to the cook floating and emphasizing how the yacht people reacted to everything that went down on their boat. I did enjoy the cooks rants as we waited for them to come back, so confident that they would and all would be fine afterward.

Dialog: Inner dialog was great. As a reader, you know exactly what the main character feels, who they blame, and what they believe will happen. The dialog gives background information on why he is adrift in the ocean in the first place. A fire, using actual food for bait, drinking all of the wine. The further we get into the story, the funnier it becomes.

Final Thoughts: It was interesting to have the story from one perspective after the fact, but easy to connect the dots of his plights. The references to Yacht people were hilarious. Nothing wrong with incorporating humor while someone is floating in the middle of the ocean, hoping to be rescued. And with that, we don't know if he's still floating out there, but with his insights into all that went wrong on this excursion, I'd bet he still is.



The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
47
47
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: A little boy named Carl, and his brother Teddy become trapped in the Gardener's Shed, surrounded by Guinea pigs. Upon further inspection, rabbits, hamsters and snakes join into the mix. Carl soon realizes mistakes of the past have come back to haunt him, and does his best to save his brother.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *ThumbsUpL*
The only thing I wondered about was possibly putting the warning in italics for impact.

Description: You did a great job of pulling the reader into the story and putting them on the edge of their seat as the fear and tension mounted in the shed. The beady little eyes and the smells of death heightened the level of fear and urgency. Good job with creaking the door and describing the dirty window that would surely plunge the boys into darkness as the animals moved in on them.

Overall Impression: To know that all of this was happening because of Carl's neglect as a child, just added to the tension. They do say actions have consequences, and that point has been proven in this short story. That ties this story together, and then the reader learns it's a tall tale told by a grandfather to his grandsons. I burst out laughing as the daughter tried to scold him.

Final Thoughts: This was absolutely fantastic. I had no idea this was how the story would end. I can imagine what it was like for the grandsons to try to sleep and decide who was telling the truth: their mother or grandfather. I bought into this as an adult, so those kids would definitely be struggling. I can see this story being handed down from one generation to the next during family camping trips. I really enjoyed it. Congratulations on getting the well-deserved awardicon!




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
48
48
Review of Miss Fit  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Sara is sheltered because of violent outbursts. Therapy hasn't worked. Even her father, a doctor, doesn't seem to be able to help heal his troubled daughter. Moving to the country seemed to be the best path for them. All her father wants is for his daughter to have a chance at some normalcy without being dependent on drugs.

Spelling/Grammar Issues:
dad had madeher a -- made her
about whole idea of communicating -- missing the

Emotion: I did feel for Sara's plight. She leads a lonely existence and seeks ways to get her life on track.


Overall Impression: I like the concept of this story, but felt a rushed ending that disconnected the story itself. The book of spells that sent Sara on her quest to capture mosquitos and the work she put into making the cage to capture and keep them together until it was time to release them drew me in.

Final Thoughts: I followed along easily enough, until the last paragraph. This is when the story seemed to try and wrap up, but felt forced. I realize that contest entries have word counts that you must stick to, but this ending confused me unless I missed something. How did Sara suddenly know that Hecate was the voice she was hearing? Was it because of the release of the mosquitos? I also wondered if Sara is a werewolf because of her penchant for being up late into the night and listening to sounds that encroached upon her. That is coupled with the fact that she sleeps during the daytime. Am I on the right track here?

There is a positive note at the end when Sara realizes she has the power to control her own destiny. I liked how involved her father was, trying to do right by his daughter yet unable to heal her like he wanted.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
49
49
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Overall Impression: Wow! You've compiled a thorough list with many ideas regarding being in a writing slump. I like that you not only pointed out ideas on how to overcome them but gave clear examples, too. Getting into a rut is easy, getting out of one takes some actual effort. A lot of the lessons you've pointed out I have used over the years. If anyone is at a loss for where to begin, you've clearly given them a fantastic place to start.

Final Thoughts: There are good breakdowns between writing blocks, a lack of story ideas or direction, and just minor and major details when it comes to writing in general. We've all been at a crossroads, at some point or another, when putting pen to paper. I have the book of baby names, but I never thought about changing the spelling to make a name stand out. That was a great idea. Music and television are my go-to for writer's block, and I like the idea of going for a drive or a walk. A change of scenery really can have a positive effect. This is a really well-thought-out list you've made giving us writers alternative ideas.

Some may work, others may not, but the whole point is to keep progressing on this writing journey. Also, it was smart to include information about plagiarism. It is all too easy to take an idea and run without realizing you've followed that specific scenario right to the letter. Making the idea your own is essential, but sometimes, it is not easy. Sometimes, you may fall in love with a storyline and become so caught up in it that it becomes difficult to differentiate between someone else's story and your own. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this subject.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
50
50
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: A WDC Convention! Well, I'll be damned. I have heard it was a thing, but never had the pleasure and from the sounds of it, you thoroughly enjoyed yourself. What great insight into all of the people you have met on the site and then in real life.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: a few little things, but I won't point them out. This was too raw emotion and fun to bother.

Emotional: Your excitement at meeting everyone comes right off the screen. You were totally invested in the friends you met online, and it was nice to hear that they were the same in person and you were hoping they were. It seems there were a lot of activities for you to participate in, and it looks like you managed to a lot on hardly any sleep!

Final Thoughts: A lot happened on this four-day retreat. I liked that you had so much to say about everyone, that you just gave glimpses of them all, pointing out the most memorable things that happened on this trip. I can imagine what it would be like to meet so many people you've only known through this site. You seemed to have a lot of fun hanging out and getting to know other members better. It was nice that you put your memories down for all of us to read, but it was nice still that you added a few paragraphs to let them all know how much you enjoyed the convention. Let's hope this tradition comes back around. I knew a few years ago there was talk of another one, but I can't say that I ever heard that it did, in fact, take place. There is nothing quite like putting faces to names or their handles and learning that people are just like you imagine them to be. Thanks for sharing.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
378 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 16 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/purpleprincess/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2