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51
51
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review
Storyline: A Halloween poem set to the song, The Unicorn. I admit I am unfamiliar with the tune, but that really didn't seem to matter. The title of the poem itself let's you know what's to come.

Flow: Great rhythm and flow. I'll never know how you managed to name off almost every candy and treat given out on Halloween while keeping up this pace. It felt effortless in its delivery. Matching Swedish fish with delish was fantastic.

Structure: I liked that you offset every other stanza, which probably has everything to do with the melody choice. Even though I was unfamiliar with the song and the way the stanzas were written, there was a definite melody in my head as I continued to read through the poem. Candy corn is mentioned in the last line of every stanza, which ties it together.

Overall Impression: This piece has great imagery. Anyone who has ever gone trick-or-treating remembers grabbing the pillowcase to get their goodies on their excursion. Racing from street to street to grab as much loot as you can carry, all the while praying you will have an abundance of your favorite candies.

Final Thoughts: I loved your Halloween take, and you made me hungry and think back upon my childhood. I do agree that candy corn is a holiday staple, but I am one of those people who enjoy it. It's ironic to me how, as a child, you consciously decide to eat the best candy first, which always leaves you with a small bag days later with the candy you disliked the most. I'm glad to learn I'm not the only one who did this. Your poem is a feel-good piece despite being about a despised candy.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
52
52
Review of A Bit of Doggerel  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review

Story: A simple dog walk turns upside down as a woman is out with her dog when a car approaches them, and parks. It seemed harmless enough, but the intention was soon revealed. A doggie-napping is in progress. The dog takes the lead by jumping into the awaiting vehicle, but this dog gets the last laugh!

Flow: This poem flowed well throughout the first stanza, and kept the metered pace throughout the poem. You didn't go for easier word choices in your rhyme scheme and instead used words that somehow made me feel it would be an almost impossible task to find something that did not interrupt the flow. Once I saw the word Chevrolet I swear I thought that was it. Great job proving me wrong!

Overall Impression: Great word choices to wrap up each stanza and keep the rhyme and rhythm going. I'm not great at poetry, but I know what goes into making these word choices that keep the rhythm and storyline intact.

Final Thoughts: The first stanza is an attention grabber, pulling the reader into the unfolding adventure. You made it easy to follow along with the story being laid out. I did not find that word choices slowed the pace of this piece. You definitely have a natural grasp of poetry and storytelling. You made it easy to picture the scene as it unfolded, as well as the events that happened during their walk. The second to last stanza made me laugh. I cannot say for sure if this pup was a little thing, or a big dog, but in my mind, she was on the smaller side, chasing a grown man up into tree. This was a fun read and I appreciate you sharing.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.



My signature for GOT 2024
53
53
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
~~Thank you for entering "Write From the Heart - Story Contest"   by Purple is House Florent . This review is my opinion, take from it what you like, discard what you don't. Good Luck!~~

Plot:
Carl is frustrated with dating in the age of Covid, and feels that finding love online is too much. Enter Stacey. Stacey just moved into the apartment above Carl. They talk on the balcony and quickly have a mini date, making plans for the rest of week. It's unconventional, but toally works.

Characters:
Stacey is sweet and funny, totally annoyed with her brothers, and happy to have met her new neighbor. Carl is relieved to be off the computer and having an actual conversation with someone else.


Use of Prompt: *Checkv*
Included Word Count: *Checkg*

Grammar/Spelling/Repeats:
There were a few instances of mixing up too and to. Also missing quotes on dialog.


Overall Impression:
I liked the way these two met, and Carl's frustration with online dating came through loud and clear. They hit it off right away and definitely enjoyed each other's company, even though they were separated by a floor.



This would be my name.
54
54
Review of Desire  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Assignment Objective Met~
*Thumbsup*

Flow of Scene~
This one lost the flow for me due to the overuse of the word fumble. Try replacing some with stumble, flounder, scrabble, etc.

Characters~
I liked that these two characters made it through everything and came together, even though Teo still isn't thrilled at the risks Annette has been taking. I also was glad to see that she sent Carl away so that she could have a honeymoon.

Thoughts~
You have two strong characters. Both are determined, but in different ways. Annette has the weight the world on her shoulders, but she always tends to find a way forward and deal with it. Teo grounds her, and let's her know it's all right to step back once in awhile and enjoy life.

Thank you for taking HSP's "Building Sensuality"   by Purple is House Florent class.
I hope that my review was helpful.
55
55
Review of The problem  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Assignment Objective Met~
Great conflict! *Thumbsup*

Character Development~
Teo is a man who wears his heart on his sleeve when it comes to Annette. He was totally believable when he found out what made her late. He held nothing back as anger and fear assaulted him learning what his fiancée was up to.

Flow of Scene~
This moved well from Teo's frustration at Annette being late, to her arrival, and then learning that she had been risking her life in order to save others. He really ran the emotional rollercoaster. You made it easy to picture his reactions as he learned more information and tried to digest it all.

Thoughts~
This is a great set up to the last lesson. Looking forward to see how these two characters you've created adjust to this new life together.

Thank you for taking HSP's "Building Sensuality"   by Purple is House Florent class.
I hope that my review was helpful.
56
56
Review of The Kiss  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)


Assignment Objective Met~
*Thumbsup*

Character Development~
Annette is going through a range of emotions as she meets up with Teo. Because of their connection and her abilities, not to mention her own assumptions, she is standoffish when Teo arrives. It doesn't take her long to figure out what this rendezvous is all about.

Flow of Scene~
It was easy to picture the beach and all of the things that Annette likes filling everything she laid eyes on. When Teo arrives and they get closer, she is still holding back and it made the scene a little disconnected. Her emotions are key to bringing your reader into the scene, letting them explore this journey right alongside her.

Issues~
Let's take these pivotal moments between your couple and enhance them.
Yours:
Teo’s hands went back to her cheeks and positioned her for a kiss. Annette’s body anticipated the tingling sensation of contact with his lips. Her mind was in an uproar, arguing he didn’t mean any of this. Her heart tried to beat in rhythm with his pulse. He planted his soft warm lips on hers, she kept hers firm willing herself not to give herself over to it so easily this time. He pulled away and stared into her eyes for a moment.

Through the space between them, Annette could feel both his physical need for her and the emotional satisfaction he felt just to be in her presence. here is a good place to describe the need.The time apart had been as much torture for him as it had been for her. He leaned forward again and planted his lips on hers. The contact strengthened her telepathic connection to him. She caught thoughts of marriage, life together, children, grandchildren. Annette relented and softened her lips to his.

Suggestions:
Teo reached forward and rested on her cheeks and tilted her head for a kiss. Annette’s body, anticipating the tingling sensation of contact with his lips, was ready to take flight. In contrast, her mind was in an uproar, arguing he didn’t mean any of this. Did he? It became a battle of will, her heart versus her mind. Her heart struggled to beat in rhythm with his pulse. He planted his soft warm lips on hers and the impulse to let go pulsed through her veins. She kept her mouth firm willing herself not to give herself over to it so easily this time. He pulled away and stared into her eyes for a moment.

Through the space between them Annette absorbed both his physical need for her and the emotional satisfaction he felt just to be in her presence. His heartbeat raced and desire sparked in his eyes like fireworks. The time apart had been as much torture for him as it had been for her. The knowledge sent a warm sensation trickling down her spine. He leaned forward again and planted his lips on hers. The wall she'd erected between them tumbled, crumbling into a thousand tiny little pieces. The contact of his heated mouth upon hers strengthened her telepathic connection to him. She tapped in. His mind swam with thoughts of marriage, life together, children, grandchildren. Annette softened her lips to his hungry kisses.


Grammar/Spelling~
She settled an official expression on her face,
Thank you for taking HSP's "Building Sensuality"   by Purple is House Florent class.
I hope that my review was helpful.
57
57
Review of Dissension  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)


Assignment Objective Met~
Definitely hit the jealousy nail on the head! *Thumbsup*

Character Development~
Our first insight into Teo was his jealousy over Carl. I liked that he went to see his friend about the way he was feeling, instead of letting his emotions fester.

Flow of Scene~
Was this scene supposed to repeat like a time jump? I wasn't positive about that. Other than that it moved along well as Teo grappled with his jealousy.


Max seems like a good friend, watching out for Teo and putting his best interests at heart instead of creating a bigger rift between Annette and Teo. Annette uses the word honey a lot in reference to Teo. Try breaking that up a little and addressing him by name.


Thank you for taking HSP's "Building Sensuality"   by Purple is House Florent class.
I hope that my review was helpful.
58
58
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Assignment Objective Met~
*Checkv*

Character Development~
Pair-bonding! Wow this really will set up massive dynamics in this budding relationship. It makes it easy to see why Annette is on shaky ground here. Does Teo love/like her for herself, or it is a given? How does free will play into all of this? Can't wait to find out.

Flow of Scene~
The only thing that really stood out was the kiss that moved at lightspeed. Back that up. It is that pivotal for these characters. Focus on it. Are his lips warm and inviting? Filled with the promise of things to come? Why is Annette relieved? What did this one kiss make her feel? Elaborating here will really give your reader a sense of what she is feeling physically and emotionally. Make that connection.

Thougts~
Teo genuinely seems to care about Annette. Just the fact that he took her to that restaurant shows that. Love can be a tricky thing when putting your heart on the line. Both of them seem to know that and hold back. Nice job.

Thank you for taking HSP's "Building Sensuality"   by Purple is House Florent class.
I hope that my review was helpful.
59
59
Review of The Meet Up  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)


Assignment Objective Met~
Annette seems really conflicted where Teo is concerned. As a powerful woman, she seems wary of others and how they perceive her. Good job with the emotional aspects of her job and not seeing Teo for a few weeks.

Character Development~
Annette will have to work through her feelings regarding Teo, and her position. It seems she's been taken advantage of before, which leaves her a bit guarded.

Flow of Scene~
The scene moved smoothly with enough background information to catch a glimpse of the world you've created.

Issues~
"Oh, sorry," Annette recognized the voice before her eyes found focus on the man it belonged to. - period after sorry. It would work better if you moved Annette recognized to the beginning of the following sentence.

Annette recognized the voice before her eyes found focus on the man it belonged to. "Teo?" ...

Try putting inner dialog in italics, or adding she thought to the end of the questions she's thinking about.

Thoughts~
I don't read a lot of sci-fi, so if I ask a lot of questions in the future, bear with me. The mind-reading aspects will be interesting as this couple grows closer.

Thank you for taking HSP's "Building Sensuality"   by Purple is House Florent class.
I hope that my review was helpful.
60
60
Review of Two Twisted Tales  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was great. I've had a horrible rotten day, was finally able to sit down and this is what I was treated with. I'm still trying to figure out how you managed to weave all of those children's stories into great rhymes, adding one character and then another, connecting each effortlessly. My favorite part is the last two lines of the last stanza. Thanks for sharing. Much appreciated!
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for entry "~ He Made Me Whole ~" 
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Purpose and Audience
This is a personal story about an event that happened in the past. It is interesting to both those who are religious and those who are not, since it shows a clear message.

Structure
The insight at the beginning of the recollection starts strong and you gain insight into the writer's mindset. It left me wondering what happened immediately after the healing, as I imagine this to be a significant moment in life.

Style
The subject matter piques curiosity in the reader as they learn about this spiritual moment. It is easy to read and understand as the events of that day are described.

Personal Response
I read this twice, and it is what I would refer to as an out of body experience. They seem like they are happening in real-time and leave you with overwhelming emotions and insight. It's an interesting perspective on seeing yourself with the sores. I don't think I personally wouldn't have made the connection of sinless versus sinful, though I totally understand where you were coming from. Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking experience you had. I'm still wondering what happened immediately after this. I can't help wanting to know the incredible emotions that take hold after something like this happens.
62
62
Rated: E | (5.0)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
Nice rhythm and flow in this poem about heartbreak.

Critique:
You truly captured heartbreak in this poem. The very first stanza is haunting. A vengeance of good memories providing a reminder of what once was. You made it easy to feel the longing, yearning for what you've had before, but that shifts to regret, wishing you could forget.

I love the line - how sad that no one else seemed to see. This reminds me of seeing someone for the first time with new eyes, seeing the beauty in another, yet knowing others haven't taken the time to take a good look.

Good imagery. Nice job conveying a broken heart.

This would be my name. }
63
63
Review of Gilmore Girls  
Rated: E | (4.5)
My Thoughts:

Great word search. I wasn't a Gilmore Girl's watcher when it was on television, I admit. I started binge-watching on Netflix and became a huge fan. You did a good job covering most of the characters in this show. Some of the names brought a smile as I thought back on this series. I had to laugh when I saw the word coffee, but it really was a staple of this show. Loralie pretty much walked around the entire series with a cup in her hand. Thanks for the word search, and reminding of a good show that had down to earth characters and great dialog.
64
64
Review of Watch This Space  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
Great rhythm, rhyme and this flowed so naturally as I read along with a smile.

Summary:
A rhyming poem about how Ad's invade every aspect of our lives.

Critique:
I totally agree with the way you depicted Ad's invading our daily lives, and how insane its all become. They are everywhere and it seems there is no escape from them, not even in death. The last stanza was quite the scary thought because it seems to be the direction we are headed. You hit the political ads, our biggest game, the Superbowl, and how ads infiltrate the beauty of the land with their enormous billboards. You had a really great take on the picture prompt. Good luck in the contest.

This would be my name. }
65
65
Rated: E | (4.0)
THOUGHTS -
I had no idea there were one hundred different forms of arthritis. I think we have the tendency to lump these physical pains into one category and we don't bother to explore the explanation fully to get some kind of understanding until we are diagnosed with something specific. You did a good job breaking the information down, giving both facts and information when it comes to treating arthritis. This is one of those diseases that does not discriminate, though I was surprised that children can also suffer from arthritis. I learned things I didn't know from your article. Thank you for sharing it.

There were some instances of missing words in your work. For instance: We can choose to sit back and live with debilitating [missing word] or we can fight it.

I hope that your shoulder continues to improve while on your medication. Keep on writing!

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
66
66
Review of Room at the End  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
Sestina Format

Summary:
A poem about dimentia and how it effects the mind.

Critique:
Wow, you put so much into this poem. Losing memories take such a huge toll on the person with this disease, but also on family members watching and helpless on the sidelines. You did a really good job showing how memories would be brought to the forefront and then disappear. Little things that could trigger a memory even for the briefest memory. You even showed the struggle to hang onto the memory. You had great word choices that invoked images in my mind - the snow, cold, ticking clock, blue eyes, and laughter, etc. All of these wonderful things that bring meaning to our lives. You even added the element of love, sweeping in at the darkest hour. Bravo! Thank you for sharing this piece about your mom.

This would be my name. }
67
67
Review of Insomnia  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
Great flow, rhythm and the rhyme scheme felt natural.

Summary:
A poem about insomnia and how those long nights effect someone.


Critique:
You really drove home the sleepless nights of tossing and turning by comparing your pillowcase to razor blades. I've had bouts of insomnia, and know exactly what you mean by comparison. You had great word choices that showed the difficult task of fighting for sleep, and what lack of sleep does to a person's mental state. I liked that you compared it to a curse, for it definitely can feel that way when you are both mentally and physically exhausted and there is no end in sight for those rough nights. Fantastic job.

This would be my name. }
68
68
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
PLOT -
Tina and Nora are siblings who don't necessarily get along well. Nora, being older, loves to constantly remind Tina of that fact, and rub all things in, especially about her body.

SETTING -
Really good descriptions of the differences between the two girls. I had to laugh when Tina pointed out certain things to Nora that sent her to the bathroom to vomit. Payback can be rewarding sometimes.

CHARACTERS -
The two sisters. Chad/Diego. That was a nice little twist.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
getting dressed and going our-out for a bite and a movie.

THOUGHTS -
I get that Tina couldn't help rubbing in that Nora was in fact pregnant. I did feel bad for Nora when Diego turned out to be Chad and rubbed it in that he only used her to get to Tina. Thanks for sharing this sibling rivalry story.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
69
69
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
~~Thank you for entering "Write From the Heart - Story Contest"   by Purple is House Florent . This review is my opinion, take from it what you like, discard what you don't. Good Luck!~~

Plot:
Sam comes home and notices the odd behavior of his wife. It's the little things that she does, and does not do that really pique is curiosity. All he really needs is a kiss from her to make things right.

Characters:
Sam is a truck driver and has just returned. He needs his ritual of kissing his wife like he needs air to breathe. She claims the doctor told her she's contagious and cannot give him what he wants. As they sit down to watch television, he notices a strange creature in the corner of the room. The alien admits that the town Sam lives in is an experiment.

Use of Prompt: *Checkv*
Included Word Count: *Checkg*

Grammar/Spelling/Repeats:
No issues.

Overall Impression:
The story was a little jumpy. In the beginning, Sam is in the truck, the road disappears, desert turns to grass and he's suddenly walking in the door. If you are going to include all of this information, you may want to work on showing how he moves from one place to the other so it's a smooth transition. You describe other moments throughout the story in detail, so your main characters movements should be easy for you. I wasn't expecting this to be a an alien story. Is the alien the reason for Mel's strange behavior? I wasn't quite sure about that. I really wanted to see how Mel's turning away from Sam's kiss made him feel. Was he disappointed? Upset? Angry? Some emotion that showed me exactly what he was thinking and feeling as he tried several times to get that kiss.



This would be my name.
70
70
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Thank you for entering "CLOSED - Tales of Seduction"   by QPdoll

Plot:
A man searches for love, fears it, sees it as a ghost, taunting him. This was fantastic as you described all three of his relationships, what he found, what he liked most about them, how the loss affected him, and most importantly how much he'd grown in the process.

Sensuality:
Good moments of sensuality scattered throughout. This was mostly an emotional journey and it worked very well.

Impression:
I enjoyed your take on the love, using the song title as your prompt. Each relationship stood out, and by the time Lisa is introduced there is hope for your main character.

Grammar/Spelling/Other issues:
No issues.

Followed Prompt: Yes
Word Count Range: Yes





~~Please remember these are my opinions and are not meant to hurt, only help. Take what you can from my comments that work for you, and discard the rest!! Happy writing!!~~
Daughter of Desire
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71
Review of Starting Over  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
This was really great. I appreciated your candor as you laid out what your journey has been like trying to get published. It is a tough gig to get, but what a great sense of accomplishment when we write something we are proud of.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
It's clear you followed your passion, and even though you didn't get the results you wanted, you didn't let it stop you from working hard.

PLOT~
The writing takes you from college, writing about your friend's escapades and through graduation as you make the big leap from writing your book to moving to New York. That's a pretty brave move to make. I couldn't imagine what it would be like sitting in that office and watching your writing being slashed from top to bottom.

DESCRIPTION~
You described everything you went through well and how this journey changed you, and your writing. Sometimes we forget that it is not always about having the technical side of writing down. Adding emotions and being descriptive is a huge part of the process. I'm glad that you managed to realize that and didn't give up. That meeting definitely gave you a lot to think about, and I'm sure you are better for the experience. As the saying goes, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and you proved that point!


House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

Image #1539895 over display limit. -?-
72
72
Review of Starting Over  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I liked the way that story started out and the dynamic between Kelli and her mother.

PLOT~
Kelli Walker is back home, out of a job and unmarried, which is an embarrassment for her mother. Everyone in her old neighborhood knows everything that's going on with eveybody else. On this day, there is a murder and since Kelli is a reporter, she rushes to get answers so she can blog about it.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
Kelli is hot on the story even though she is not happy to be back home. She banters with her mother and then rushes to the crime scene before she starts interviewing the neighbors to get the scoop.

DIALOG~
I loved the interaction between mother and daughter. That really showed both characters well. When Kelli was in Max's apartment the dialog doesn't feel as real, and the story starts to fall apart.

TECHNICAL~
He loved - lived 3 blocks

One minute Kelli is standing there with a gun on her, trying to get the killer to talk. You never show her putting the gun away, or dropping it or something. Suddenly she's in handcuffs and as a reader, I didn't understand how you got from point A to point B so quickly.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

Image #1539895 over display limit. -?-
73
73
Review of Devoured  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
You do dark stories really well, Charlie. This is was a bit much for me I admit, but it was a quick read with lots of details that churns the stomach. Even though the title gave a hint as to what was coming, I still read on.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Descriptions of what Kate went through, being devoured that. Pretty nasty.

PLOT~
Alex is driving Kate and she freaks out, swearing that a man was hurt on the side of the road. She swears she's taking her medications, is not hallucinating and jumps out of the car. Alex follows and they argue. He cannot convince her to get back in the car and agrees to look around. When they find nothing, he is ready to leave. Kate instead takes off toward the guard rail and that's when she sees the distorted face of an armless man who begins to eat her.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
Poor Kate. I honestly felt bad for her. To see the things she does, which no one believes. Alex has a lot of patience because he does care for his sister, though he seems annoyed by her illness.

When the man started eating Kate, I was grossed out, making faces, and my kid came in and asked me what was wrong, lol. How's that for having an effect on your readers?

DIALOG~
I could see the argument on the side of the road playing out. Kate was so sure, determined to get Alex to see what she did and even though he didn't believe her, he still tried to help. Only it was all in her mind. How very sad.


House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

Image #1539895 over display limit. -?-
74
74
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I like fantasy stories with Princess' and dragons, too bad the Prince turned out to be anything but Princely.

PLOT~
Kara screams from the tower, watching as Prince Holland and his caravan takes off, leaving her behind. She's a prisoner in the castle and wants to escape. She receives a scroll with a medallion telling her that the medallion will protect her from the Lord of the Castle. She takes the medallion with her and heads out of her chamber into the castle, in search of a way out. In the process, she encounters a dragon in one of the chambers.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
Kara who is hearing her mother's words about never trusting a Prince ringing in her ears and coming true. The Dragon who is happy to meet Kara, as the Prince has left here there as a gift. And the bad Prince who has no trouble leaving Kara behind.

Good descriptions as Kara left the room with only a torch and slowly made her way down the stairs. I did wonder who her loyal servant was that sent the scroll to her.

DIALOG~
Mostly Kara talking to herself, and then the conversation at the end with the Dragon. That last paragraph was a bit confusing for me and I wasn't sure exactly what the medallion had to do with him leaving the castle.

TECHNICAL~
beware of his anger.

Your loyal servant

stopping every few minutes
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

Image #1539895 over display limit. -?-
75
75
Review of Dear Jane Austen  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

IMPRESSION -
An open letter to Jane Austin from one of her many fans, a Janeite. Love the term to describe yourself. I admit I had never heard it before. There is a lot of passion in your letter to Jane and you point out which stories of hers that you like best, and which characters are your favorites. I liked the way you approached this subject and how you explained things to her as if she were alive today and wondering what was going on.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
You made the letter current and went into details describing movies and comparing them to plays, which she would understand. There is a nice easy flow with your writing as your emotions play out in this letter, which also gives good insight to you as well. You help make her characters come alive too, as you list the ones you believe you would be good friends with in real life. I don't think she ever knew what her stories would mean to so many, and how she would empower women with the written word. We could all use a Mr. Darcy in our lives. He really is an extraordinary character. They don't make them like they used to.


House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

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