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76
76
Review of GRIN & BEAR IT  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
This is a great story. I wondered what happened to the Rabbi, and you didn't disappoint in delivering his story.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
That is story was like an expansion of a joke that begins a Rabbi, a Priest, and a Minister.

PLOT~
At a symposium, a priest, rabbi and minister chat during a meal about how to convert people to their flock. It isn't long before an interesting proposal comes about and all three set out to find a bear to convert. The minister is quick to tell his tale of how he wrestled with the bear and baptized him right on the spot. The priest one upped him with his account of using his silver cross and how it mesmerized the bear enough to throw holy water on him and then read the rosary. As the rabbi is missing, they soon learn he is in the hospital and they rush to check on him.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
It was so easy to picture this happening. You did a really good job pulling this story altogether and showing the different techniques each used for the purpose of their little bet.

The Rabbi was hilarious in how he decided to go about his task, which turned out to be an epic fail.

DIALOG~
Perfect here as well, giving the rabbi an accent that totally set him apart from the priest and minister. Great job!

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
77
77
Review of First Memory  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I know the television show you reference but I've never watched it. Mostly it was a solid story, but a few hiccups that stopped the flow. See technical below.


PLOT~
A woman wakes in New York and cannot remember who she is. She finds a driver's license in her pocket but doesn't recognize the name. She has a vague recollection of where she's from and heads there. When she gets to the house, the man that answers the door is stunned that she's back because he thought she was dead and had her buried. Explosions start happening, and as they try to escape, Matt is killed before he can give her the information she needs to regain help jolt her memory. Veronica is then stabbed with a needle and falls unconscious. When she wakes hours later, she overhears a conversation between two CIA operatives who discuss who she is, why they are holding her, jolting her memory. The men leave her in Central Park.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
Veronica is a reporter working on a story and has her memory wiped. She is on a mission to find her true identity. Her husband Matt is killed in the process of her learning about her identity. Two CIA men give discuss the situation and give her more than enough to go on.

It felt like you were in a rush to get all of the information out and that left a few mishaps in your story.

TECHNICAL~
If she wakes up alone in New York where did the money come from to make it back to Philidelphia? That stood out for me. Also, when she's talking to Matt and the explosions start happening, you say the house blows up, but yet they get into the house and make it out the side door.

I think you could slow things down a little and add more detail to everything that is happening which would add to the suspense and paint a clear picture of everything that is going. I wondered how she felt when she woke, what she saw, smelled. Was she physically hurting or struggling with her restraints? Just a little more added detail would really pull this story altogether and make it absorbing.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
78
78
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
What a cute story about a mother, her prankster son and a spider. All parents have been there a time or two when they are just too tired to care about creepy crawly bugs on them.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
I love that she bailed on him in the end and rushed off to shower away any possible trace of the spider. That made me laugh!

PLOT~
A mom and her son are cleaning out the garage when he tells her there's a spider crawling on her. Knowing how her son likes to tease her about one on her phobias she doesn't fall for it and keeps working on getting the task accomplished until she feels something crawling on her neck.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
The mom who doesn't want to fall for the trick and then realizes her son may not be joking after all. The son who is adamant that he's not messing around with her this time and tries to plead his case.

I could picture this scene playing out as they cleaned, stopping to discuss the situation and her being too tired to care if he were telling the truth. I could feel the son's frustration when he realized, either way, he was going to lose.

DIALOG~
The dialog was real and believable between these two. You made it easy to see everything that was happening, and at the end, brought humor to the story as well.



House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
79
79
Review of Roadkill  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
A story that starts out fun with music playing, but soon turns creepy as a chain of events happen.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
The big change in tone from the beginning of the story to the end. I hadn't realize that's where it was going.

PLOT~
David and Emily are driving down the road, music playing, each taking turns to dose off for a few. Emily falls asleep as David is getting into his Euro music and then hits something in the road. He pulls the car over to investigate and sees a lot of blood, too much for the one animal lying dead on the road. When he realizes that something else is out there, he and Emily rush back to the car to make their escape.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
Emily appears to have a kind heart, wanting to bury the dead animal. David is a fan of good music and likes it playing on road trips. When he gets out of the car to see what he's hit, he is shocked by all of the blood and knows something is amiss. He went from shock to fear in an instant upon realizing something else is out there. His fear showed well as he grabbed for Emily and rushed back to the car.

DIALOG~
Dialog worked to push the story forward and show what both of your main characters were doing and their reactions. Nice job with your prompt.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
80
80
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Purpose and Audience
For any musical lover, dreamer, or just someone looking for something new. This was a great article about how music helps to shape our lives, whether we see it or not.

Structure
I really enjoyed how Hey Jude transported you back to a specific place and time and how it felt as if it could've happened just yesterday. You went from mentioning the song, to letting your reader catch a glimpse of your past. That was vivid for me.

Style
I am an avid music lover as well. I think a lot of people forget just how powerful music can be, how some songs remain with us decades later and can still cause a reaction when you haven't heard it in a long time. You touched upon all of that and really made this piece a good read.

Personal Response
I admit I didn't know the James song, but that didn't matter. You managed to remind me of many songs shaped my life so far, and I'm positive plenty more will come around that will leave their mark as well. I'm glad you have such great memories to hang onto. And I agree with you, these are the moments we should hang onto and look back upon. I cannot remember the last time I felt carefree, but I imagine as you pointed out, one song could propel me back to another place and time and remind me of what that feels like all over again. Nice job!
81
81
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
Very sad story of a father and daughter who have both suffered great losses at the hands of others and try to learn how to move forward in life, yet their demons still haunt them.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
That her father finally gave in and decided to help his daughter do something that wasn't common, but knew that she was right.

PLOT~
Derrick Andrieus wants to see his daughter married again, having children, taking care of a home, not bothering with swordplay. Felicity calls her father out on the choices he's been making since her mother's death, reminding him that all of his whores won't take away the pain and torture they went through when they were attacked.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
The horrors of war can be truly evil and leave you without hope once you've suffered so greatly.
Felicity is quick to point out all of the reasons why this is the best course of action for her now. She's suffered physically and mentally, and could never let a man touch her again. She vows to fight and is ready to learn all that she needs to in order to defend herself. Derrick doesn't want his daughter to do this, but when she threatens to find someone else to help her in her quest, he has a change of heart. Felicity was definitely hard on her father, reminding him of what happened to all of them on that horrible day.

DIALOG~
Gripping conversation between father and daughter. I loved how Felicity fought to get her point across, even at her father's expense.



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82
82
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
It's so sad that these things need to be said, but I totally agree with every point you've made. I know life tends to get in the way at times, which makes it difficult to fulfill your obligations, but sometimes I believe people just don't really care, and that is a hard pill to swallow. One of the best things about writing.com is the community atmosphere. It can be such a fun place, almost like a second home when put yourself out there and join in the fun and excitement.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
All of your thoughts were clear and concise on the matter or giving in our little community. Auctions can be so much fun, but when you've paid for your package and it never gets delivered, it takes over a month for the giver to actually remember they donated a package, it takes the fun out of the event. Sometimes when you are let down during these activities, it makes you less likely to participate in the future, and that only hinders other auctions. At the very least, a thank you is in order for the simple tasks, like a when you receive a review. Getting a review shows that someone took the time to read your work, whatever the rating was. I'm sorry to hear about the post left in a forum. Bullying seems to be the way these days as we all flock to the internet and somehow know we are so hidden behind the screen we can do whatever we want and not have to face the consequences because we think we are anonymous. How very sad. Great article. All we can do in the end is put our best efforts forward, and hope those without the common sense or decency to do so will figure it out eventually.



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83
83
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
Hey, Jeff. Nice job with this prompt. Being stranded with an ex-wife would certainly not be fun, but this worked well.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
You always use good details in your writing that really draws the reader in, and your main character's thoughts enhance it all.

PLOT~
Two exes are stranded on an island after his plane goes down. He is helping his ex-move to Jakarta to start a new life with a new guy. There is some bitterness about that, but they do what they can to survive. They make some headway getting ready to spend the night as nightfall approaches.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
Good job giving me a glimpse of the small island in the middle of the ocean. It was easy to see him working on building the pyre and her out in the water trying to spear a fish for dinner. I wondered if the knife wasn't such a bad thing to her now that it was coming in handy.

DIALOG~
True to the bickering that exes go through, these two really kept it going with little barbs at one another. I felt so bad for him at the end as he thought about what a romantic setting they were in.

TECHNICAL~
After we dragged ourselves
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84
84
Review of No Brownies  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I was wondering where this conversation was going and you didn't disappoint.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
The conversation played out well as one person relayed the day's events to another and the added humor at the end was great.

PLOT~
One sibling can't wait to tell the other what happened when their mother went to the grocery store. The one listening to it all has questions galore and their sibling is only too happy to keep explaining it all.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
Hearing about their mother's heroics leads to an interesting conversation between two siblings. It was like being a fly on the wall.

DIALOG~
You managed to create a gripping dialog only entry for the Daily Flash. I kept wondering what the brownies had to do with anything, but as the story unfolded it seems the brownies had everything to do with it. The dialog worked really well for this purpose of telling this story of their mother and what happened to her that day. I could picture that scene of the siblings, one being in the know, the other trying to understand what had happened. I loved that after the mom saves the day, she still forgot the cocoa for the brownies, which she went to the store in the first place to get.

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85
85
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
This story moved fast as Alan stood to wait for Sandra to show. I like that about these Daily Flash challenges. You worked in all of the prompt words well and managed to create a sad, but a creepy story.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
The descriptions of the lake and use of the prompt word mirror when you described the birds and clouds going by overhead.

PLOT~
Alan and Sandra are lovers who meet in a hidden cove on the lake. Sandra is married to Frank, a horrible man who keeps his wife on a short leash. Today is the day they will make their escape, and leave a trail that would lead the police and Frank to think that Sandra had simply drowned in the lake and died. Alan waits, but Sandra never shows. When he hears sirens he soon realizes why she's late, and looking down into the lake again, he sees her lifeless eyes staring up at him.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
Sandra in a bad marriage, ready to take a chance with Alan and run away. Alan who waits for the woman he's fallen in love with, and as time ticks by begins to worry. Frank who found out about their affair and takes matters into his own hands.

You did a really good job showing what the lake looked like and how hidden their private cove was.

TECHNICAL~
startled by a siren abruptly sounded- perhaps sounding instead
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86
86
Review of Ricky  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
Solid story about this bird saving her life.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Smart and observant bird. I was surprised she brushed off the warning and drank the entire pot, and even more shocked at the outcome of realizing what Dave tried to do to her.

PLOT~
Laura is mostly a loner aside from her husband Dave. One day a bird in a cage appears on their doorstep. The parakeet begins talking and lets them know his name is Ricky. After a moment of shock, Laura begins to engage the bird telling Ricky all of her problems. Suspecting Dave is cheating, she unloads this to Ricky. One day Dave gives her a drink that makes her feel funny, and she goes to bed to sleep it off. The next morning, Ricky warns her not to drink the pot of coffee Dave has left for her, but she does so anyway.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
Laura is lonely and welcomes Ricky giving her someone to confide in. She couldn't fathom that her husband would try to kill her until the drugged coffee makes her sleep again and a vivid premonition in dream form shows her whats to come. Laura's reactions were described well, and so was that dream she had with the tarot cards.

DIALOG~
The dialog was just enough to give Laura a heads up before Dave could follow through with his plan. The scene with the lawyer at the end was funny.


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87
87
Review of Unexpected Hunger  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
So many relationships start out this way. Even when Katherine's friend suggests the possibilities of her brother's friends, Katherine cannot go there, though she wants. This showed well.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
The conversation between Anabelle and Katherine on the phone as they discussed the status of her recent relationship. This set up the rest of the story and helped Katherine pursue something she wasn't sure she could.

PLOT~
Katherine is crushing on her brother Simon's friend Erik. Simon notices the way Erik is checking out his sister and calls him out on it. Katherine is lost in thought as Erik comes up from the basement to get the snacks she was supposed to be preparing for the guys and things heat up in the kitchen.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
Katherine who shows interest in Erik but doesn't think she can go there until Erik closes the distance between them. Erik, despite Simon telling him no, takes a chance and goes after something he wants.

It was easy to picture Katerine's date with Mr. BMW and how that all played out. A sizzling scene in the kitchen between Katherine and Erik. I like that he stumbled on asking her out.

DIALOG~
All of the dialog between the friends worked well and showed how solid those relationships are. Katherine and Anabelle's conversation was funny, while Simon and Erik were realistic as well. Erik and Katherine had a few awkward moments before things took a big change for both of them.


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88
88
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I'm a big fan of supernatural stories and loved this one. You showed Jace perfectly as he tried to make sense of what was happening and figure out who the girl was that showed an interest in him.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Jace's willingness to believe that the things that were happening were real. It's so easy to dismiss these things, but he sought them out, even venturing into unknown territory.

PLOT~
Jace senses a presence near, one that touches him, teases him and he cannot seem to get enough of her. His mother is almost desperate to fix him up, even throwing a party to get single women there hoping he will take an interest in one of them. Jace can hear the woman, and they soon begin a dialog. He wants to know everything about her, what he sees, who she is. He goes up to his bedroom and drowns out the party, ready to get some answers to all of the questions in his mind.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
Jace's impressions of her and his emotions were great. I could feel this excitement when she was near, and the disappointment when he couldn't sense her. I liked the scene of him trying to write it down and only getting one word before their conversation started, only to be interrupted. Is there more of this story? I'd love to keep reading and see where you take Jace. Though I did like the ending because it leaves your reader wondering and coming up with their own ideas as where Jace wound up once the story stopped.

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89
89
Review of Just a Dream  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I don't even know what to say about this piece. It's gripping, sad, filled with emotion, depressing, heartache.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
That it was brutally honest about someone struggling through life and giving up on everything.

PLOT~
Life isn't what it was supposed to be. Each choice made leads you down a path and never knowing which one is the right one, sometimes leads to horrible outcomes. That is what happens here. One wrong choice after another that leads one to believe they have no heart or soul, that their angel has abandoned them and there is no coming back from all of the bad things they've done in life. Hope no longer exists. Even death seems like a waste of time.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
You were able to reach into the darkest parts of oneself and really show how horribly difficult life and truly be. Not every gets the good breaks, and those that get one bad one after another lose all hope and once hope is gone, it is a complete downward spiral that feels like there is no coming back from it. This was the most heart-wrenching story I've ever read.

TECHNICAL~
all of your i'm need a capital I in them.
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90
90
Review of Turn Around  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

Rhythm/Rhyme
This was mostly a smooth read until the second to the last line. Not sure what threw off the flow for me. The rest of the rhyme scheme worked really well as the tale of these lovers takes a big turn after they've been together for years.

Imagery
You do really well with putting images into your reader's mind. I loved the line: young loves trace, reminding the reader of what relationships are like in the very beginning when you start to fall in love.

Impressions
Thing get really bad when you have to question if your partner is wearing a disguise. It is a bittersweet poem, filled with the highs and lows of this failing relationship. One is desperate to hang on, to show their love all that they have been and what they still could be. This leaves that question, how well do you really know someone? Not an easy question to answer for sure. Couples do drift apart and when they do it's a very sad thing to witness. You really hit upon that with good a pull of emotions the reader can identify with. Even as they question, terms of endearment still remain, which makes this heartbreaking.



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91
91
Review of Stay  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

Rhythm/Rhyme
This had great flow and the rhyme scheme really worked well to detail the hunger in wanting her to stay. Each stanza added to the intensity, the longing.

Imagery
I could picture them spending time together, each moment etched out in his mind as he realizes the depths of his feelings for her, and how he never wants her to leave. It is almost like these feelings have taken him by surprise as he questions how love can make him feel lovesick. You described her smile, her eyes, and how time was not a friend, stealing moments away from the couple.

Impressions
Loved this. I could feel the longing, the craving, the pleading to get her to stay. Just the thought of having to wait until tomorrow to see her again is anguish for him. It's amazing how love can take over a person world and turn everything upside down. You portrayed that so well in this poem. I liked the repeating line at the end of each stanza that helped to showcase how much he wanted her to stay. The title said it all, and let the reader know where this was going. Fantastic read.



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92
92
Review of Stars  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
You did a good job showing the dynamics between the cynic and the dreamer.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
I loved how perplexing he found her, especially when it pertained to the stars. It was almost like they spoke two different languages, yet understood one another so well. He sees things in black and white and she lives in the gray areas.

PLOT~
A cynic falls in love with a dreamer who causes him to see things from her perspective, all the while he still finds it hard to believe she still likes him. He thinks of her beyond the outside of the box when it comes to her way of thinking.

CHARACTER~DESCRIPTION~
Solid descriptions that showcased your two main characters and how different they are. He points out all of the things that mean more to him than her shortcomings. That, in a nutshell, is what love is all about. Finding the wonderment in the things that make you individuals and relishing them. It's a rare gift to have that kind of insight.

DIALOG~
Their conversation about the stars was cute, funny and makes a person think. Having that kind of insight into the world, seeing beyond what is right in front of you and still finding that kind of beauty is a gift to be sure.

If this is based on fact, I wish you the best. Hold onto her.

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93
93
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
Loved this! Great ending that had me laughing so hard. You did really well with your three hundred word count, and the added humor was perfect! I admit at first between the title of your story and the use of DD, I read it as designated driver. Nice twist to the DD.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Everything. You did great describing the sheriff and his new deputy sitting in wait for the drunks to file out of the bar.

PLOT~
A sheriff and his deputy discuss entrapment as they wait outside a bar for the drunks to leave so they can nab them and get them off the roads. They watch as one man stumbles out, drops his keys, hits his head before getting behind the wheel and pulling out of the parking lot onto the highway. The sheriff is puzzled when he passes all of the DWI tests that he should have failed.

CHARACTERS~
The sheriff who believes he's doing his job is thrown for a loop and outsmarted by the DD. The deputy who thinks they shouldn't be lying in wait outside the bar. The DD who outsmarts them and gives everyone else a good head start.

DIALOG~
The dialog was great. I liked that the deputy questioned the sheriff about this stake out, and how confident the sheriff was with his job. I could completely picture the Sheriff's confusion as the DD explained what those two little stood for. Great job!



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94
94
Review of Emergency Room  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
You have a pretty good story here with a hospital room setting. The only thing that was missing for me was not knowing who your main character was. A man, a woman, just something to help me catch a glimpse of this person.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Good descriptions of their surroundings and how all of that waiting was driving them crazy.

PLOT~
Someone is in the emergency, hating the blue gown that covers next to nothing. Wires are hooked up all over the chest, and one from the finger, the nurses have stopped coming in to check on them, the activity of visitors in the hall have stopped as well. Tired or waiting and wanting to know the time, they finally turn their cell phone on and are shocked to discover where they really are.

CHARACTER~
Your main character is in the emergency room, forever waiting. They tell the story of all that has happened, the gown not having enough material, being told to turn the phone off, getting to keep the shoes, etc. Even describing the soft music playing wasn't enough for me to make that connection to where they were now. That was a good information plant because I totally dismissed the clue.

TECHNICAL~
move at all I flashed anyone
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95
95
Review of My Uncle John  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I love stories of deeper connections, soulmates, twin-souls, the one true love, whichever label you choose. You really showed the depth of their love, and how he couldn't go on without her.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
It is a bittersweet story. Sad because he loses the love of his life, struggling every day to move forward with his life, and sweet because he'd go to any lengths to be with her again, including walking into the icy waters where she lost her life. You described that scene of him wading into the water well, with the sun reflecting off the water, blinding him.

PLOT~
John and Karen are an inseparable couple, pledging their souls and lives to one another. An accident takes Karen from John, and he struggles to move forward without her. When her ringtone plays on his phone he is stunned, but her message is clear and he must go to find her, reunite with her.

CHARACTERS~
John who cannot bear to go on without his true love, finds himself going to extraordinary lengths to be with her again. Karen cannot wait any longer and reaches out from beyond to bring him back to her.

TECHNICAL~
drew him into her dark home. I believe if you were to add 'she drew' it would read better.
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96
96
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
It is an interesting conversation between a Priest and a man on death row, just before he's off to be killed. The conversation I didn't expect as they discussed religion, matters of the heart, and those that believe.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Knowing it was this last conversation, I was glad that it wasn't a confession seeking forgiveness. John has great arguments about crime and punishment, setting examples of people who commit crimes and how they come from different walks of life.

PLOT~
This is John's last opportunity to speak to his pastor before he leaves death row and walks to his impending fate. The two have a good conversation as time draws near.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~
The priest who is there to see his friend off. John, who's on death row. I liked that there was an honest friendship between these two, which really made the Pastor seem more human. I think we sometimes forget that just because they took a vow doesn't mean they aren't just like us. You showed that very well.

DIALOG~
A dialog only piece, you captured the banter between these really well. It was easy to follow along with their conversation and leaves the reader with something to think about.

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In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
This was a really good short story, filled with sadness. Your main characters uncertainty was hard to hide, almost as if he knew this would really be their last goodbye. It was easy to get lost in the scene because your descriptions were great.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
The ending. That one haunting line about her smile not meeting her eyes really stood out. Even when they were in his bedroom, touching one another, kissing, making promises wasn't as big of a moment as when he looked at her for the last time.

PLOT~
A solider is getting ready to go off to war, and he's worried not about dying, but that the woman he loves will move on while he's away. They make promises, she tells him she loves him, and yet as they say their goodbyes, he notices that her smile doesn't reach her eyes. That was a very descriptive moment that really showed why he was so worried in the first place.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~
They both were sad that he was leaving, that was easy to pick up on, but his heartache really pulled at my heart. I was so hoping there would be some hope here, and while there was, the ending dashed it all away.

DIALOG~
The dialog was smooth. He needed to know she would be there, that she truly loved him and while she said she did and even went as far as saying she'd be waiting for him, he didn't buy it.


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Review of Wrong Delivery  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
You worked the words in well that you needed to. It was left open ended and I really was curious as to where the flowers came from, especially since when she found out that Mark hadn't sent them she felt it was creepy.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
I liked how her coworkers were all interested in them, and that she automatically assumed Mark had sent them. His reaction was spot on.

PLOT~
Stacie receives a bouquet of flowers at work. The note is signed cupid and she questions her co-workers about who they are from. Then she calls Mark and thanks him for the flowers, assuming he sent them to her only to find out he hadn't.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~
Mark's reaction to finding out his woman had been sent flowers worked well. Stacie's excitement changed once she realized is wasn't Mark and she had no clue who thought she was the most beautiful woman. That definitely could be a scary thing.

DIALOG~
The conversations at the office added to the scene and it was easy to picture them all checking out the flowers and waiting to find out who sent them to Stacie. When she tells Mark that Carole was drooling over them so she intended to let her have the flowers made me laugh.

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Review of Toxic  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I love that a prompt sent your way really inspired you to step out of your comfort zone and write, and what a fantastic story it was. You had great emotion as she went through why she loved him, and why he's toxic. I was sitting on the edge of my seat wondering how far she'd let things go and you didn't disappoint.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Everything. I was drawn in right from the beginning and you easily kept my attention right through to the end. I think I liked the strength and presence of mind she had while she was with him, all of the reminders of who he really is.

PLOT~
Ex's meet up again. She still loves him and cannot seem to stop herself from going to meet him. Once there, he breaks her heart again, and it isn't long until she realizes all that he is and why they are no longer together.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~
Definite character growth here with her showing up at his door to see him, her heart still longing for him. As they talk and all of those old feelings are stirred, it also triggers all of the reasons they parted ways, to begin with. Great emotion. It's very relatable as well. This is a piece to be proud of.

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In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
In make a lot of compelling arguments about the term 'leftover' in reference to women in their thirties who aren't married. I fit the profile for the 1990's as I was married at twenty-three. I was surprised how the numbers changed through the decades, with big jumps for both women and men. I find the term 'leftover' insulting, and as double standards go, you showed just what gender means in society's eyes. Good job showing famous women who have chosen to stay single and have made themselves a success.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
You had good facts to stand behind your arguments and I agree the term is indeed outdated. I was fascinated to see how much money a woman can earn if they remain single, as opposed to a married woman of the same age. I find nothing wrong with a woman's independence and deciding which route is right for her to take. Not everyone wants to have children, and with medical advances, waiting to have kids if you wanted isn't so difficult. You put a lot of thought into this essay and that showed. It would be nice if society's judgments would just vanish, but I don't believe that will every happen.


TECHNICAL~
"leftover men" and in this
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