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126
126
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review for "HSP ~ Building Sensuality"   by Purple is House Florent

Characters:
Phillipe goes through a lot of emotions believing everyone has forgotten his birthday. You really dug deep into your character and showed him at different levels of emotion.

Setting:
You made it easy to get into Phillipe's head as he went through his day. Loved the kiss that 'should've tasted of rue and bitterness', which really showcased the fury in Phillipe. I felt sorry for him by the end, and excited that there would, in fact, be a party.

Overall Impression:
You did a really good job with this assignment, letting Phillipe get worked up all day, to come home and turn it all to shock and relief. I liked your characters and it was easy to see how much they care for one another.


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127
127
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart - closed"   by Lilith of House Martell

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
Good flow with your take on current events.

Emotions/Imagery:
I could easily picture Trump high upon his wall, looking down at a sea of bodies in protest, yet not caring about it at all. Good job putting that imagery in my mind. I laughed out loud at the last two sentences because they were so true!

Impressions:
I enjoyed your entry. With the way things are in the world right now, we could all use a little more laughter. Thank you for incorporating that in your poem.

This would be my name.

128
128
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart - closed"   by Lilith of House Martell

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
This had great rhythm and flow, so much so that I was completely absorbed in it! Good job with the rhymes as well.

Emotions/Imagery:
Here's where the poem shined. You took current events and made it a Q&A. You nailed so many points poetically, and hit upon so many issues a lot of us are feeling.

Impressions:
Nicely done! I loved your take on current events and it really spoke to me. Great, thoughtful writing. I must admit I loved the last stanza the most. Who can disagree with alternative facts?

This would be my name.

129
129
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Megan, I'm reviewing your contest for "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"   by Fivesixer , as it is nominated for a Quills this year!

Contest Page:The page layout worked well, as a picture of Prince was showcased at the top of the page. The contest page gave clear information about how many could participate in the contest [8], and what was expected in regards to the writing challenges. I liked that you left it up to the participants to choose the songs, from Prince's vast song list, and create either a poem, or a short story highlighting lyrics.

Overall: The rules were clear and, and the prizes upon completion of the writing were well worth the effort. Not all contests offer an exclusive merit badge. The Prince merit badge is enticing entrants. Congrats on the nomination, and on running a terrific contest that let's writers stretch their creativity while incorporating great music.
130
130
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart - closed"   by Lilith of House Martell

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
Great rhyme and rhythm throughout this sonnet. It flowed so well.

Emotions/Imagery:
Nicely done as this conversation between a mother and soon to be wed son. I could relate to this one well.

Impressions:
You really did capture this event well and made me smile as well. Unfortunately your entry was late by a day. The contest rounds run from the 1st-15th, and the 16th to the last day of the month.

This would be my name.

131
131
Review of My Love My All  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart - closed"   by Lilith of House Martell

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
Really good job with the rhyme scheme and it flowed well throughout.

Emotions/Imagery:
Good emotions of how he felt about her. It was sweet and moving. I especially liked the couplet.

Impressions:
I enjoyed this poem you created, unfortunately, it was late for the contest, which runs from the 1st of the month through the 15th, and the 16th, to the last day of the month.
This would be my name.

132
132
for entry "Dreams Of You" 
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart - closed"   by Lilith of House Martell

Following the Prompt: *X*
Line Count: *X*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
The rhythm and rhyme worked really well in this poem.

Emotions/Imagery:
It was easy to feel the loneliness of thinking of that special someone is but a memory now. That longing really came through. I could picture her roaming the halls in a daze, her mind caught up in distant memories.

Impressions:
I enjoyed the poem. It didn't really follow the prompt this round.

This would be my name.

133
133
Review of No Words  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart - closed"   by Lilith of House Martell

Following the Prompt: *X*
Line Count: *CheckV*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
You did a great job with rhythm, flow and rhyme. Your poem worked really well.

Emotions/Imagery:
A sweet poem of love. I really liked the first two lines that showed how far one would go for the other. Being someone's heel is serious business. Really solid imagery that invokes emotions of strong love and devotion.

Impressions:
Unfortunately, I was looking for a little more naughty than nice this round.

This would be my name.

134
134
Review of Writing  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
Good flow and rhythm

Summary:
A poem about what we as writers do. This was a solid poem, telling the tale of how we go about writing, and how we must get the words written. I could really identify with this.


Critique:
I loved this part:
If you cannot get it out
of your soul to paper
or screen you will explode.

It is so true. Just trying to get the words down can drive you crazy as you look for any way to have them in some form of writing. Great job!

This would be my name. }
135
135
Review of Dew Drop  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
Good rhythm and flow in this poem. The rhyme scheme worked as well.

Summary:
A bittersweet poem of love and loss, however brief. You did well with adding good images of the rain, dew, leaf and how the two drops became one, only to be sent crashing to the ground.

Critique:
I enjoy reading poems of love, and even though this had separation, the sweetness of how the lonely one became two, and then they both separated again worked really well. Write on.

Thank you for bidding on my auction package!

This would be my name. }
136
136
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
PLOT -
Taygen is busy with writing, a writing group, taking care of her husband and the house and a job. She is not appreciated by Carson and they wind up having the same argument yet again.

SETTING -
I could picture the house with clutter as Taygen described how cleaning was difficult because of all the work tools. Remembher to add reactions during an argument. Have them moving as the conversation/argument progresses. Inner dialogue would work well here too as Taygen doesn't really want her thoughts out there for Carson to hear.

CHARACTERS -
I wondered what Carson looked like. I did get a slight picture in my mind from his facial expression, and the from the way he spoke to his wife.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
rung right out. ~~wrung

She let her mind consider possibilities as Carson continued to barrage her with his complains-complaints

THOUGHTS -
You overused the ellipses'. Most of them aren't necessary and because of the frequency it pulled me out of the story. I was also a bit confused about the beginning just before she came home. Watch repeating words. Energized was used a lot. Look for other words that give the same meaning. Taygen doesn't seem happy with her married life and I wondered why she chose this man in the first place. I wish you lots of luck with Nano. Just keep writing and push through. Don't worry about editing things.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
137
137
Rated: E | (4.5)
Rhythm/Rhyme/Flow:
You had a good rhyme scheme that flowed well from one stanza to the next, telling the tale of the impending hurricane.

Summary:
You did a good job showing how prayer really can help in these trying times we live in. It is what we depend on to see us through the good and bad things in our life. Mother Nature can be devastating, and you summed that up well.


Critique:
You took a recent event, Hurricane Matthew and turned into a solid poem that had an uplifting ending. If you had to evacuate, I hope that you and your family are all safe and well now.

This would be my name. }
138
138
Review of Sweeping  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
PLOT -
Janet is sweeping up, hoping to gain Frank's attention.

SETTING -
Nice job showing that she was being neat even in her attempt to get the fire going.

CHARACTERS -
Janet is a neat arsonist. Nice twist there!

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No dialogue. No errors.

THOUGHTS -
I didn't read the intro for the story so I was nice and shocked by the twist at the end. Might want to change that so your reader doesn't get a heads up. You did good with the music prompt and showing a story in less than one hundred words. Good luck in the contest!

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
139
139
Review of Love's Touch  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
Nice rhyme with this poem about love conquering all. Even through loss the message and love remains.

Summary:
Isn't love an extraordinary thing? You really captured the message of the power of love, even through loss. The physical loss is felt so deeply, yet love lives on lifting our spirits as reminders are all around us.

Critique:
Good imagery in this poem, showing the darkness that tries to invade, yet the bright light of love pierces through it. This is a very heartfelt piece that leaves the reader with hope. Nice job conveying that.

This would be my name. }
140
140
Review of Time without you.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart - closed"   by Lilith of House Martell

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
Good rhythm throughout. There were a couple places where the flow was interrupted because of a word that I think is misspelled and two words that needed a space.

on not seeing youagain
is too much to bare.~~I think you mean bear, as in too much to take/endure?

Emotions/Imagery:
Really good emotions of loss. You were able to capture the pain and bring that to the forefront.

Impressions:
Writing about pain and loss isn't an easy task, but you did it well with your poem about losing a family member. It tugged at my heart and I could feel the sadness and emotional turmoil. Nice job!

This would be my name.

141
141
Review of Rope Burn  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
PLOT -
Jenna is bound and enjoying every second of her anniversary gift.

SETTING -
You pulled me right into the scene between these two characters. It was very hot, and ended way too soon. The scene was described well from beginning to end. Sultry and sexy.

CHARACTERS -
Jenna was a perfect character, completely consumed with what he did to her, craving more, needing her lover.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No issues. Dialogue worked really well, both internal and external.

THOUGHTS -
What a great ride this was. Great descriptions that painted the scene, lots of heat. Great job with using the prompt for this round. Good luck in the contest.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
142
142
Review of 16th Anniversary  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Thank you for entering "CLOSED - Tales of Seduction"   by QPdoll

Plot:
Jason and Amanda are about to go away for their 16th anniversary. Both make plans that showcase the banner year as they prepare for their long awaited honeymoon.
Romance/Sensuality:
There was a sweetness about this piece as they separately prepared to go away on this trip, their past 15 years on their minds.
Impression:
It was a sweet story that ended too soon. I really wanted to see them together on finally having a honeymoon! However, you gave me insight into both of your characters, how they thought, what they felt and wanted and they were both memorable. *ThumbsupL*
Grammar/Spelling/Other issues:
No issues it. It was a clear read.

Followed Prompt:*Checkv*
Word Count Range:no word count liste





~~Please remember these are my opinions and are not meant to hurt, only help. Take what you can from my comments that work for you, and discard the rest!! Happy writing!!~~
~~Image ID# 1591557's Content Rating Exceeds Item Content Rating~~
143
143
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A CHAPTER ONE REVIEW
Sponsored by the NEW Novel Workshop
The opinions contained in this review are subjective, with intent to be honest and helpful.
Please take that which you find useful, and toss the rest with good cheer.


Greetings Schnujo is Late to Lannister

I am reviewing "Hook to Book, Round 3-Sheriff Sam Rabbit"  today as part of the "The Chapter One Competition." .
THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING OUR MANDATORY PHRASE, "HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, WDC!" IN PARAGRAPH 17!


In the interest of clarity, I will be using the following conventions in my review:
Your Words: Bold Black{}
My Impressions as I read: Bold Green
Editing Suggestions:Bold Red


OVERALL IMPRESSION
Very cute story of Sam the bunny who is sheriff of the forest. He tries to help the other animals in the forest and things don't go his quite the way he plans. It's a very endearing story.

What I Liked Best:
Sam was funny as he thought things through. He was eager to help everyone, even though some things puzzled him. Good descriptions at the ravine really set the scene.

WRITING SKILLS AND CRAFT

Opening Sentence:
Good visual of Sam pinning the star to his vest.

Opening Paragraph:
Straight to the point. We know who Sam is and what he's doing and why.

Plot:
Sam is a bunny standing in as sheriff of the forest until an election can be held to appoint someone permanently. He is off to help poor Kat find her rhymes, but gets distracted by an emergency.

Character Development:
Cute characters. Same doesn't care how he got his position and really wants a hat to complete his look. His outlook is refreshing and has a good sense of humor. He is happy to help anyone, no matter what situation that may thrust him into.

Dialog:
Flowed really well between characters. Inner dialogue of Sam was great and really showcases who he is.

Spelling & Punctuation:
No errors

Grammar:
No errors

Continuity:
Smooth chapter that moved at a strong pace as Sam was called into action.

Form:
No issues

Clarity:
I know what the plot is and where its going.

Hook:
Sam helping Kat find her rhymes, but not knowing how to go about that.

CREATIVITY and PRESENTATION

Structure:
Solid first chapter and i want to read on and follow Sam on his adventures. The only thing missing for me was that I wondered what the weather was like and if that effected anything happening around them.

Figurative Language & Vocabulary:

Rhythm & Meter:
Good rhythm to the story


CLOSING STATEMENT
Very enjoyable. Strong characters. Good setting and description.

Purple is House Florent

STATIC
Cross Timbers Novel Workshop On Hiatis  (E)
Looking for solid NOVEL feedback from other novelists? The NW is BACK & better than ever!
#2088228 by 🌷 Carol St.Ann 🌷


Gives us this:

A CHAPTER ONE REVIEW
Sponsored by the NEW Novel Workshop
The opinions contained in this review are subjective, with intent to be honest and helpful.
Please take that which you find useful, and toss the rest with good cheer.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
144
144
Rated: E | (4.5)
PLOT -
A family moves to safety. First to the attic, and then out onto the roof as the raging waters of Hurricane Katrina takes over their home.

SETTING -
I could picture them moving up the ladder, and Howard cutting the hole in the roof for them to escape.

CHARACTERS -
Howard and Rita take action when the house begins to flood, moving their family to safety on the roof. Rita busies herself looking for rope to stop her thoughts from wandering on their plight and concentrates on their children. Howard was good at keeping things moving as the situation grew worse for them.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No errors. Good internal dialogue for both main characters.

THOUGHTS -
I remember being glued to the television when this was happening. I hope this isn't a true story for you, but if it is, I'm glad you made it through that ordeal.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
145
145
Review of Summer Kiss  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
PLOT -
A couple move from friends to dating and share their first kiss.

SETTING -
I could picture the firefly well, and it was a cute scene as it landed on her nose.

CHARACTERS -
Your male character was nervous, that came off well. Your female lead had a playful side to her.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No errors. Dialogue flowed nicely between your couple.

THOUGHTS -
You did a good job with your male character, showing all that he felt about the girl, being with her, and the sweat he couldn't seem to control. When the kiss happened, I wanted more. You describe the kiss well enough, but just hint at the emotions behind it. What did the kiss feel like? Were her lips soft and warm? Inviting? Was he disappointed when she pulled away? Adding sensations and emotions together really make these important moments stand out. Write on!

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
146
146
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.5)
PLOT -
A high school crush that leaves both of them looking for a way to talk to one another.

SETTING -
Good job with the circling of his name and playing with her hair. This had good build up and anticipation as she resolved herself to say hello.

CHARACTERS -
Jeremy likes a redhead, but thinks he's blown his chance with her. She drums up the courage to say hello, has it all planned and when her big moment comes she's let down, wondering if she misunderstood the rumor.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No errors. The dialogue was strong and moved the story forward.

THOUGHTS -
I felt so bad for her. She was so sure of herself as she marched up to them and said her big 'hello'. Crushes can be so sweet and so terrifying at the same time. You played that well from both angles. Lots of detail for the Daily Flash. You had a full story and used every word to its fullest potential. Nicely done. Write on! Good luck in the contest.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
147
147
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
PLOT -
Chris and Ida hit the fair, talking about the beginnings of their relationship, and still very much in love.

SETTING -
Really good job setting up the scene, the kids laughing at them for kissing, and the couple racing out of the stables. Their scene together in the loft was hot.

CHARACTERS -
I really liked the playfulness of your couple. They were sweet, and the way they interacted was nice to see in a couple married as long as they were.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
"Hoowhee! I never thought we were never going to get out of there."

And, with that, he grabber~grabbed her into another embrace

Every thrust made the temperature in the cool lost~loft rise
higher

They laid there on the now wed~wet hay waiting

THOUGHTS -
I enjoyed your story for Tales of Seduction. It had great flow and excitement, lots of heat. You pulled me into their love story with great descriptions and good dialogue. Good luck in the contest

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
148
148
Review of Confessional Lies  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
PLOT -
Entry for Blink- prompt Lies. That is quite a whopper of a lie in the confessional no less!

CHARACTERS -
A girl goes to confession, and then must admit that she just lied to the priest about how many lies she's told.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No errors. The inner dialogue was a great shock and twist to the story.

THOUGHTS -
You managed to put a lot into your sixty-one words that left my mouth hanging open. I can't fault her for not wanting to admit what she'd held back. If only the priest had a clue about what she managed to keep to herself about his cousin. Good Blink entry. You used the prompt to the fullest potential. Good luck in the contest.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
149
149
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
PLOT -
Zarth is trying to escape the onslaught of arrows and hides in the woods.

SETTING -
Good job showing a lot more than your original draft. Most of the things I wanted to point out in the old version you improved upon in the new opening paragraph. You took out all the telling words and showed the reader what was happening. I do think you could go deeper with how the pain felt to him from that arrow in his shoulder.

CHARACTERS -
Zarth is a thief on the run. Good hook that grabs the readers interest.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
Stumbling to a halt behind a moss covered tree, he heavily fell heavily against the bark.

THOUGHTS -
Your new opening paragraph has great flow and good description. There is a much clearer picture of Zarth, and the scene that is unfolding around him. If you keep up on the new path you should have a really good opening to your story.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
150
150
Review of GoT Writings  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
PLOT -
A bittersweet story about a child learning through others that her father is truly a hero and it has nothing to do with any great feat, but for standing by his wife and family.

SETTING -
Nice description of the people who came to say goodbye to the mother and pay their respects.

CHARACTERS -
The child who didn't understand why doing what you were supposed to do doesn't make someone a hero, only to realize that all of the actions of the father indeed make him heroic.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No issues - no dialogue

THOUGHTS -
I loved this last part of your story: For you see, truly the best honor or eulogy I could give my mom was to recognize that my dad was the best part of her, and vice versa. Through their eyes and example, I saw that my dad was and always had been mom’s hero.

Couldn't have said it any better. Nicely done! And don't feel bad about not placing in the writing challenges. I finally got one placement in the last week. I know it's a bummer. Write On!

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
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