You are recieving this review as promised as a part of entering the {item1516634 }. Remember that any suggestions that I make are just that- suggestions. Please remeber that this review will not affect the judging process.
[u}Title:Mischief at the Harvest Ball This title does well at providing some mystery for the story. Nice job!
What I liked: You priovided a lot of great describitions, lots of action, and a great ending!
What I didn't like: I didn't see anything that I didn't like. However, I really do hope you continue on with this story after the contest is over.
Plot: All the Faeries are preparing for a Harvest Feast. Fredida, Mena, and Lalu catch Rogan, Renul, and Listo in mischief in a type of glade. Frieda goes to see what they are up to and she discovers that the three other faeries are up to. They try to go to the council to tell them but the council is not there. Rogan discovers somehow that they know, and tell them that he doesn't think they'll be going anywhere.
Style and Narrations:[/c} Everything is great here!
Characters: Your characters are well written and believable!
Grammar: No problems that I could see.
Overall Impression:[/c} So far I really enjoyed the story. I do hope you contnue this after the contest. Please let me know if you do, and I would be glad to read it. Please, remeber that your review does not affect the judging. Great job, and write on! Feel free to come back for other rounds in the future.
You are recieving this review because it was requested in the "Invalid Item" . Please remember that any suggestions that I make are just that- suggestions. You may take or leave what you wish!
Title:Leaving Love Behind I really love this title. It is so unque and heart felt. It fit the poem perfectly!
What I liked most: I liked how you were able to incorporate your feelings into this piece, even if that isn't how you feel right now. I was amazed when I read this. Wow!
What I liked least:[/c} I didn't see anything that I didn't like.
[u}Pace and flow: The flow of this piece was superb! It was extremely easy to read. And the rhyme scheme was smooth as well.
Grammar: No errors that I could detect.
Overall Impression: Even though this poem was sad at first, it left a great impression on me because it ended with a happier note. The piece was very well written, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Thank you so much for sharing. And it's just in time for Valentine's Day, too!
You are recieving this review because you requested it in the
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1522463 by Not Available.
. Please remember that any suggestions that I make are just that- suggestions. You may take them or leave them as you wish..
Title:Hallowness This title, though it may be plain fits perfectly with this piece.
What I liked most: I liked the honest and the concept of this poem! Nicely written.
What I liked least: I didn't see anything that I didn't like.
Style and Narration: Everything was good here!
Pace and flow: It was an easy poem to read with nice imagery and a lesson to be learned. Your rhyme scheme worked out well. However the last line, just seem to end abruptly.
Grammar: No errors that I could detect.
Overall Impression: I really enjoyed reading your poem as well as your other poems. As I read each of them, your writing seemed to mature gradually. You have a unique style and voice, and I'm glad that I was given the oppurtunity to read your work. Nicely done! Write on!
You are recieving this review because it was requested from the "Invalid Item" . Please remember that any suggestions I make are just that- suggestions.
Title:My Destination This title fits perfectly with this poem. It sets the mood, which when I read the poem, it seemed serious.
What I liked Most: I really enjoyed the rhyme scheme about this poem too. It worked out well.
What I didn't like: I was only annoyed by one thing and it was the last stanze. I think that it should be broken into 2 parts.
Plot: The narrator is waiting at a train station and claims they are apart of a daying breed. They apologize for being dull and not providing nothing more. They believe that they are going insane, and shouldn't be there staring or they will be destroyed. They don't want to go to their destination, wherever that may be. The narrator seems to be angry at everyone. As I read further, the narrator seems to be lost, filled with hopelessnes and depression.
Pace and Plow: The pace is good, but maybe you could break up the last stanza into 2 parts somehow?
Grammar: No problems that I could pinpoint!
Overall Impression: I really enjoyed the concept of this poem. It was dark and moody. I don't know why, but these types of poems always tend to be in my favorites list. Thanks for sharing!
You are recieving this review because it was requested in the "Invalid Item" . Remember that all my suggestions are just that suggestions.
Title:The Man and the Crowd I thought that this was a really good title for this poem.
What I liked: This was a great poem full of tribulations and deciet.
What I didn't like: I didn't see anything I didn't like.
Pace and Flow:[/c} Your pace and flow are excellent!
Grammar: There were two things that I noticed.
And [he] went on out [of] the doors (Stanze 4, line 8). But his reason[s] were overlooked (Stanza 5, line 3).
Overall Impression: Overall this would happen to be my favorite poem that I have read of yours so far. It shows maturity and mystery. Who is this new king? The antichrist? I loved it. Thanks so much for sharing!
You have recieved this review because it was requested in my reviews forum "Invalid Item" .
Title:Will You Ever Answer me? This is a powerful title, and it lives up to its promise.
What I liked most: I liked how you made this poem rhyme. It works better than the other and doesn't seemed forced.
What I liked least: There wasn't much I didn't like. Great job!
Plot: The narrator is pleading someone to answer them, but there is no answer,
Pace and Flow: Everything was great here!
Grammar: There is one problem that I did notice.
I went to see on[e] of bastions today, (Stanza 4, line 1)
Overall Impression: This was a very good piece of poetry. It had a lot of emotion in it. I could hear the pleading tone, and the hopelessness. Nicely done. I didn't see many errors or have any complaints concerning this piece.
Wow, this was awesome. I absolutely loved this piece and could imagine the taste of the chocolate, coating my tongue. It was a teasing sensation. I never read something so beautifully written as this piece in a long time. Your description was powerful but not overwhelming. You provided just enough to make the tastes come alive, and you used all 5 senses: touch, taste, smell, see, and hear. I applaud this piece of writing. Thank you so much for sharing. Mmm, now I want some yummy cream-filled surprise cholcolate!
You are recieving the review becuase you requested it from my review forum "Invalid Item" . Please remember that any suggestions I make are just that... suggestions.
Title:The City. This is a very plain title but it seems to work.
What I liked most: I really enjoyed the concept of this piece. It was sad and filled with emotion.
What I liked least: As I read it, it read akwardly to me. I think it would work better if it didn't rhyme.
}Plot:{u/} A girl is stuck in a city filled with drugs. The drugs are her demise, not her firends. She made the choice to abuse them. She soon became pregnant with her boyfriend child and looses it because she aused alcholhol.
Style and Narration: Everything seemed good here!
Pace and flow: The pace and flow seems a little jolty to me. It seems like you were trying so hard to make it rhyme. I think that it would read better if it didn't.
Characters: There's a girl who abuses drugs and then there is her boyfriend who abuses them too, as well as her.
Grammar: There were a few problems that I noticed:
And [then] she met his eyes (Stanza 3, line 3). This started aggravating. (This sentence reads kind of funny. Maybe you could reword. (Stanza 4, line 4). His body found somewhere seedy, (I think you should find another word instead of seedy). (Stanza 10, line 3). She heard [that] he OD'd, {I think that you should use the word overdosed, instead of OD'ed. It seems to informal for poetry). (Stanza 11, line 1)/ Now [she] begged men in the rain, (Staza 13, line 3).
Overall Impression: Overall, I really enjoyed reading this fine piece of poetry. Please remember again that any suggestions I make are just that... suggestions. You are a very talented writer who just needs to hone your skill. Thank you for stopping by my review forum. Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I have been rather busy. I will get to the rest of your poems tomorrow. Again, thank you for being so patient! I do hope that my review was helpful. If you have any questions feel free to email them to me.
You are getting this review as part of participating in the Fantasy prompt contest.
Title:Faery Fun This title fits perfect with this short story. It is light and fun, but engaging as well.
What I liked the most: You did well at incorporating the picture prompt with this piece. It was fun to read and you had me hooked from the first sentence. I was amazed at the effort you put into this. I like the originality of this piece as well.
What I liked the least: The fact that it ended so shortly. I know I gave a word count to this contest, bujt that is for reading reasons. Maybe afterwards, you could continue writing on this piece? I would be glad to read and review it.
Plot: There are several faeries that have to deliver a golden globe to a place with some sprites. They go into a tree to speak with their, I'm assuming, mother Gaia.
Referencing: Everything seems good here!
Characters: There is Gymbol, Tampna, Mullum, and Sezar who have a little golden globe. Then there is mother Gaia who tells them a story, as well as the little sprites who are following the 4 faeries.
Grammar: Everything is good here!
Overall Impression: I really enjoyed reading this story. I didn't find anything wrong with this piece. You did well at incorporating the picture prompt into this. Even though I rate and review this piece, it does not affect the overall judging of this contest. I may have to extend the deadline if their aren't any other entries. I do apologize for the delay. Anyway, thank you for entering the contest, and I hope you come back for other rounds.
Title:Frozen Redmeption. Wow, I really like this title. It is so unique!
What I liked the most: I loved the things were described and the rhythm as well as the rhyme. You did an excellent job. My favorite line was: clutch my Starbucks cup and cherish its warmth amongst the frozen trees. I reminds me of the times when we hung out at starbucks.
What I liked the least: The fact that it ended so soon.
Pace and flow: Everything was good here!
Grammar: No mistakes here.
Overall Impression: Wow, I really enjoyed this poem. Your writing has matured a lot! I hope that you continue to grow in your writing, which I know you will. I'm glad I had the chance to read this. Thanks for sharing!
This is such a wonderful idea and I see that it is very helpful and giving to those of WDC. I am glad that I may be able to participate. Thank you so much for creating such ideas at these. It is a very generous thing to fdo. I can see that this will and is growing into something big and great.
Title:Egg? No thanks! This is a very catchy title. Titles are very important for a story. If they are boring than a reader may pass it by, unless they are curious anyway. For some people, a title that may be boring to them, is not boring to others. I absolutely loved how you caught my attention with this title. It fits perfectly!
What I liked the most: I loved the innocence of this piece. It improved the quality of it. You also added some humor into it, which I liked. As I was reading, I began to wonder if this was a true story.
What I liked least: As I was reading, it began to slowly irritate me when it came to the dialogue. You are telling, instead of showing. It's as though I were reading a stageplay. Maybe you purposely meant to do this? All that I'm saying is show, instead of tell. Show Nanni's expressions, instead of telling us. This is only a suggestion, of course. Whether you do it or not is entirely up to you.
Grammar: Your grammar is superb in this piece!
Characters: I loved Nanni. I could feel for her, even though I'm not a vegitarian. Perhaps though, you could show us more of both characters. What do they look like? What is the mother's name, etc? There was power with your characters, but I still wanted to see more.
Overall Impression: I really enjoyed rading this piece. You had me hooked from the title to the first sentence, until the very end. I did have some suggestions, which are stated above. However, they are only suggestions. You can either take them or leave them. Overall, it is your piece, your decision. I really loved this. I especially loved the humor and innocence I saw in Nanni. Poor girl. But do not blame yourself, if this is a true story. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control, even if we want to do something about it. That is what doctors are for, which I am sure you are well aware of. Congrats on this piece, it is marvelous. Thank you for sharing!
Overall rating *stars**stars**stars**stars* I gave this a 4.0 rating because it still has some improvement to be made, but even though it may nneed improvement does not mean that this is not a good piece. It is an excellent piece! I do hope that my suggestions were helpful and not bat all too harsh. Great job and happy writting!
Things I liked: I loved the rhyme scheme and how you began it from the time it first happened, to the time that you were all grown up. Nice job!
Things I didn't like: Maybe you could change the title some? It just seems too plain and cliche.
Pace and flow: Everything seemed good here.
Overall Impression: I really enjoyed reading this poem a lot. You have some great talent! I loved the beautiful descriptions. But how did the kiss make you feel? What was it like? Other than that, it was an easy read. Thanks so much for sharing.
My rating is a 4.0 {:star} because it still needs improvement. I listed them above to the best of my ability. I hope this helps. Happy writing and write on!
Wow, this was such a great little story. I'm glad that I came across it! I loved the way it was introduced and ended. You kept me hooked from beginning til the ending. So I'm guessing the person interviewing Taylor would be his grandad. Thank you so much for sharting this piece! I am glad that I came across it. Good job and Happy Writing!
This was so very helpful. Thanks for sharing your ideas on reviewing. I am still learning, so I'm getting my hands on any topics I see about reviewing. This was very well written and thought out. It gave me a better understanding on what a review should actually be about. Great job and Hasppy writing
Wow, the overview otherwise what would normally be known as a synoposis sounds awesome! I can't wait to continue reading onto the 1st chapter. You have got me hooked and that's a good thing! It was very well written with very few mistakes. I also like the title too. Anyway, here's some grammatical errors that I noticed along the way:
Grammar problems
The A.I. brings one a new renaissance in (curing) diseases [no comma is needed] and even (halts) the aging process. [paragraph 2, line 4]
I hope that helps in some small way. You should join the fantasy, sci-fi, and horror group. I will provide you a link if you haven't. It is a great group!
Wow, this was helpful and I agree about all the 10 writing no-no's. I never knew some people did most of those. I would find it really annoying while trying to read a story with a lot of exclamtion points and question marks. Thanks for sharing! It was very informative!
Wow that awesome and so beautiful! I absolutely loved everything about it. It made me smile and cry. I even got angry with the doppelgänger and Sarah's mother. You did a wonderful job. I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing!
wow, reading your bibliography was intesting. We have a few things in common. I like cats, but only have one. I have always written for as long as I can remember. I am definetly going back to read some of your work. I was never interested in CSI. If I remember correctly, I have read one of your stories about possums. You are very talented and I look forward to reading more of your work. good job and keep writing!
Style and voice: The style for this piece worked magnificently. I absolutely loved how you conveyed a serious, childish voice to the poem. The Tyne scheme worked as well. It wasn't overdone. Nice job!
Grammar: No mistakes that I could see.
Things I liked: The 2nd and last stanza shows the most emotion. In the 2nd stanza, the writer seems annoyed and in the last stanza, the writer seems satisified and also apologetic.
Overall Impression: I really enjoyed this piece of poetry. It rhymes beautifully and has grace and style. I'm not sure what improvements could be made, if any. But a writer can always polish their writing. Anyway, this was an excellent piece and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Good job and happy writing!
I won't deny it. I had a hard time keeping up with this peace. It is in a wierd P-O-V. Instead of having an 's at the end of everything, make it an 'ed. Anothing thing that was odd, was the end of this paragrapg. The last sentence is repetitive and doesn't need to be.
His back is against the wall. One foot sturdy on the ground and the other against the brick. The boy’s hand wanders to the back of his jeans, fingers slipping to the pocket and pulling out a lighter. It sets fire and then disappears. It sets fire, disappears. Sets fire, disappears.
Other than that, it still needs some work. I liked it enough to keep reading. Good luck and happy writing. By the way, these are only my oppions so take it with a greain of salt. You are a fine writer, just needs a tune up.
This was interesting and kind of helpful. I will also try to save money for certain items when the time comes to it. Oh and don't forget about coupons! They help too. :) Thanks for sharing your ideas and thoughts. Keep on keeping on. And happy writing!
This is an awesome idea! I absolutely love it and glad that I came across it. I have been trying to save up GP's for an upgrade and I'm only part way there. So thank you for having a place such as this. It provides a great oppurtunity for all of writer's here at writing.com
I really like this review forum. It seems very helpful. I can'tremember if I posted any of my work from here, but I'm sure I have. I also liked the set up and the image. That image means a lot to me as it was the back drop for my marching band one year. The show was called the Scream. It brought back a lot of memories, so thank you for sharing, Happy writing and happy reviewing! Write on!
This is an interesting set up and place to find information about poetry. I can't wait to come back here nd see wht treasure lies in store. I might even take a few notes so I can apply it to my own poetry. Nicely done and keep up the good work! Write on!!
~~ Pyper
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/pyper/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.24 seconds at 9:14am on Apr 25, 2024 via server web1.
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You are recieving this review as promised as a part of entering the {item1516634 }. Remember that any suggestions that I make are just that- suggestions. Please remeber that this review will not affect the judging process.
You priovided a lot of great describitions, lots of action, and a great ending!
I didn't see anything that I didn't like. However, I really do hope you continue on with this story after the contest is over. 
