Wow, that was a very good and yet very imaginatively, creative story! I absolutely adored it and though it was sad, you kept me hooked from beginning to end. It was also a happy ending since I finally found out what the Rainbow bridge was. What a clever idea! And I loved your little ghostly creature!
Aw, this was sweet and romantic! I like how this was written. The rhyme scheme and the flow was excellent, but it could always use a little polishing. I liked how you questioned the whereabouts of your lover, wondering where she could be and naming the different places. But I really liked the ending. It held such passion as does this whole piece. Thanks for sharing!
This was a wonderful little poem. I enjoyed reading it. However, you could work on some punctuation. Try reading it out loud and wherever it pauses or if it doesn't sound right, you can correct it. Good try. I look forward to reading more of your work soon.
Wow, that was tragically sad, but very good and very informative. I liked this memoir, even though I hoped your sister would live. I'm really not the best critic in the world for memoirs, but this piece was pretty exceptional and very raw. I could feel the hurt and the emotions of this piece. Thank you for sharing this piece with us. Even though it was sad, I enjoyed it.
This was rather good. It kept me hooked from the beginning. However, I kept wondering what had happened to the girl in the bed. Did she get into a car crash? Is she in the hospital for cancer? Why is she even there in the first place? Yes, I know she is close to the verge of death or might have even died. The ending confused me. Did somehow she revive herself? What did you mean by her hand? Did she have a pulse of some sort or was it frozen like the cold grip of death? So many questions, so very few answers. Your emotions in this piece were believable, but you grammar needs some work.
that somehow there was going to be some sick and disturb doctor
"that somehow there was going to be some sick and disturb[ed] doctor"
This was a very good piece and I look forward to reading more of your work. If you need me to reread it again, if you revise, do not hesitate to ask. I will be glad to do so.
Yours Truly,
Pyper
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