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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/raraa
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105 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review of Stealing article  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Sorry, but OPEC is not a Cartel, it wasn't responsible for anything, the OPEC member countries were producing at full capacity but the refineries of the US and Europe weren't ready for the rise in demand, plus Rita & Catrina killed off some more refineries. also, the rise in demand from China which is growing at more than 10% per year.

Don't believe check the record profits the US oil companies are making.

They shouldn't be making more money when they buy higher priced oil, but they weren't buying, they were drilling there own.
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Review of Math Attack!  
Rated: E | (3.0)
the area is always expressed in square units, like square millimeters or square inches.

the object should have been rectangle because different shapes have different formulae to calculate areas and circumferences.

Nice work thought and try to mix it up a little bit like putting the correct answer in different units, instead of 22 millimeters try 2.2 centimeters.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
It just shows something people will always think presidents with 8 years or two terms are worse than presidents with one, no matter what happens.

I mean it also shows the voting on partisan bases, i mean no democrat would vote against Bill Clinton, because he was the bes they had since JFK, so at least 25% of the voters were republicans and 35% democrats
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Review of The Looters  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Well, I don't think the reasoning is correct, though sarcastic, I think it is wrong to steal no matter the circumstance.

People who were poor before, can't expect to benefit from a situation where everyone is losing, It just doesn't add up. I don't think the poor should get richer because of a storm.
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Review of About a Girl  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I pray for you to find her soon, if only there were more people who think about the personality like you do and less of the shallow minds who constantly think about the looks.

You poem is interesting and inspiring and I think you do deserv the 4.0 that everyone is giving you on this piece.

I think perfection needs more than what you wrote, it needs more emotion in such a poem, your emotions are there but they need to be expressed more freely.

Good Job
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Rated: E | (4.0)
May her soul RIP, I hope these writings of yours get you to go on in life. I liked especially about this piece its uniqueness. You din't write about the pain of letting go or the her endurance of pain. instead you wrote of memories which people can relate more to.

I also like how phrases didn't end in the same line. that's good

Good Job
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Review of AYUH, I'M NATIVE  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Vivid imagination and true stereotyping. I think you got somewhere with this piece whether or not you intended to. People realize that not all Maniacs live the same way but they think that alot of them do.

I would be interested to know what the difference is when you spoke about indoor plumbing. I think ignorant flatlanders are really just that, have your fun with them.
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Review of Fish  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I liked the simple atittude this poem carries, and it admits it. Did they not look at each other? They would have realized that they look similar.

"and after a flurry of gold scales and bubbles,"

This part is made very vague and simple, maybe two verses are in order just after this one. Just to show us what happened. also the rhyme of the last two verses.

Good Job.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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Rated: E | (4.0)
If people do tell you or email you what other is I would love to know, I personally chose Nero because of a study I wrote *Wink* in which i proved that he slowed civilisation progress by more the 200 years, that's more than both world wars put together.
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Review of Unconstitutional  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I think we should give room to atheists to join in, what if I don't believe in God, I will be a hypocrite to sing the national anthem as it is. Many people think the mention of God is ok with all relegions, so what's the harm. I think people who don't believe are not made for in society.

Great poll.
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Review of The Crying Man  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
The pain of one death can be great, too great to make us do things we never would have considered. People will never think of someone committing suicide because of a loved one's suicide. Yet it happens, and to bring it up is smart of you.

People presume that someone who is pained from another's suicide would never put their loved ones through the same pain. It is true, but if the pain is too deep, he will jump.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
A romantic and sweet poem, Valentine's day should always start right, if it doesn't then there is no point. I mean people should always show their spouses that they love them first thing in the morning, that will their day.

I enjoy reading descriptive work, it is interesting how the image comes racing in our heads once we read it, if we don't we will never reach it.

You had good descriptions.
Half in shadow the rest lit by the sunlight,
Your eye-lashes curl lazily as you sleep,

Good work
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13
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I guess getting enlightened is not a simple as you make it sound, although it definitly is as beautiful.

Thinking about

sooner or later
you get everywhere

I realized that people should spend less time planning their lives and more time actually living it.

Good Work
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Review of Touched By Love  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Lasting love is the love that makes people feel happy, feel hopeful of the world, this poem is rather inspiring and it certainly comes useful. I was surprised by your ability to write both sad and lifting poems.

The greyest of skies still look blue to me,
My heart feels light and free from pain.

When you say this, while cliche in a way, it will lift the morale of almost anyone.
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Review of A Heartbeat Away.  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I feel like saying amen, it is just too hard not feeling with your poem, I am not an expert in poetry, but I think I can safely say that you have a unique style that foolows a pattern when it comes.

I think such a style makes poems more aproachable, readable and mostly more understandable. You don't go over the roof trying to find a rhyme, you write it when it comes and thats beautiful.

Write On!
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Review of Shadows  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
You said:

I'd laugh when it copied my waving hand,

Then:

How do I know this? I am behind you - I am one!

I don't know if you meant that or not but I couldn't imagine a shadow having its own shadow when its was young.

You have a gift for dark poetry and maybe you should try some more pieces in that direction, good job
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Review of Where Were You  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I liked most about this piece, besides its elegant connectivity, is its ending, you have stood away from the ussual and the cliche and had a striking ending that doesn't show hate, it shows power.

Power, though hard to muster in such situations, is neccesary for moving on.

OT: I think that you should make the rewards payable for your poems, 1001 GPs so that after WDC deducts its 25% you will be offering 751 GPs which will set many of your pieces from the 50s and 60s on the autoreward list to the 20s and 30s.
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Review of The Salesman  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wrong line of work he is, soon in the future they will make a list similar to the "don't call list" that will include the adresses of people who don't want marketers to come to them.

I like the aa bb rhyming and you rhymed without affecting the poem, it was subtle which i encourage.

good job
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Review of VIRII  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This story sounds to me as the kind of science fiction that is aimed towards the narrower audience of detailed and specialized sci-fi.

You writing is appealing to me but I think you should go ahead and ease down the town if you want a bigger audience. Your narration of human interaction is interesting but not quite the publishable standard
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20
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
I was really startled with story I understood it not, and the only thing I figured is that your use of the current german chancellor name should either have some deep symbolic significance or is the lack of imagination on your side.

I have reviewed a number of items from your port before and all were pretty good, this one however I don't understand, If you would please answer me this:

Did you intentionally use Gerhard Shroder's name?
Did the man die or faint or something of the sort at the end of this?

If the man was a nazi officer in the years 1940-1945 and he was a 25 y/o dentist then now 60 years later he would be 85-90 years old. This story couldn't have been set 20 years earlier because cyber crime was not that big back then

I really do respect your work but I had trouble understanding this piece. I will galdly review it again if you do some editting or if you explain it to me.

Write On!
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I really don't know if this was aimed at making me hate drugs or if you are one talented dealer *Wink*

This is the grim reality of the drug scene and unfortunately some people indulge in it for the same reasons others are avoiding it for.

You made this story say all that and much more, your elaborate description of usually trivial details made this an extraordinary piece.

Good Job
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Rated: ASR | (3.0)
I'm sorry for what I'm about to say, but you portray arabs as excessively rich and stupid people. Being one, I hate what you are writing, all this piece was bragging about money and trying to get a message about the politics in kuwait in a not-so-subtle way.

"Silver JAG, Applebee's, Starbucks, Pagero, Gucci, 75 grand"

All you are doing is showing that arabs are hypocrits who drink at night and sponsor terrorism at day.

BTW you needn't mention Swarovski twice in two sentences, you could have said crystals the second time. You have poor command of grammar and you also misportraid the lebanese who I have lived within for in saida for years.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Its sad but its true, People will always feel worse for people who got haremd through no fault of their own and through no fault of any other human for that matter.

Maybe if you gave this man a name or a tongue people will sympathize much more, also if you can elaborate on what he felt, does he think he is lucky?
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Rated: E | (4.0)
You are without doubt very comfortable with your pen, or should I say keyboard. The thing that intrigues me about this piece is your ability to transition from different moods and settings. You understand the feelings but you let it to the reader to grasp your exact manings so you don't come off as boring.

Writing as "me" or writing for "you" are always the hardest since you have to convey feeling and emotions in depth with being over-descriptive.

Great work.
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Review of Tick Tock  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Nice piece of work, I liked your expressions, they are modern yet maintain the thoughtfulness that carries on with the classic items.

I think you should be able to write narrative with no problems. Or Should I say you are already able to do so.

" The digits are burnt into my mind like data on an old VGA monitor, how could I ever forget? I’ve seen them so many times before."

While it is very long to be used in everyday life, I stil think it is rahter interesting. especially that you used to similar items, digital items.
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