Hi! I really enjoyed this (so far)! Your sentences flowed nicely, so it was easy to read. The punctuation was great! I would have added an extra comma or two, here and there ... especially in the longer sentences. Either that, or in a few places, started a new sentence. But that's just my opinion. And I ain't no great writer. Spelling, also el perfecto, as far as I could tell. I loved the dialogue and how you structured it. All in all, very nicely done!
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