Excellent insight, and well thought out arguments. But, many times the question is not whether something is probable or not. Too often, the question is, "Is it plausible?" As you imply, to be possible, something must be probable, but to be probable it must also be plausible. If it is not plausible, then may not be probable, though it may still be possible.
Once upon a time, there was a great explosion in the sky. People all over the county were startled at the suddenness of such an event. Many of the citizen's claimed that it was like someone turning on giant speakers suddenly. Windows cracked and many shattered as the sound wave stretched across the land. There were reports from all over of people fainting, while others run to hiding places for safety. Up until that day, Baseville County had not experienced anything of the kind. One woman remarked that this would be something that people would be speaking about for many years to come.
Every day since then, Baseville County residents walk with an eye to the sky. Especially, since they never received a factual explanation of the occurrence. People often stopped as they walked along the sidewalks, and would discuss that strange day when they heard "a sound like the gates of hell being busted open." The worst part was that many residents began becoming suspicious of all visitors to their lovely section of the state. "You know there's something going on with all those new people," said Maybelle, as she squinted at a couple walking by in front of her bakery shop.
One day, two strange men entered the bakery. Both seemed distinguished, due to their obviously expensive suits. One of them had on a tie that could "easily have to cost at least $20," thought Maybelle.
"Can I help you," she asked.
"Just some doughnuts," said the man with $20 tie, " We are here for a meeting with the City Council and we want to make a good impression."
"Is it about the sonic booms?" queried Maybelle.
"Why yes, we are here to assure everyone that there was no problem, there is no danger, and everything is going to be okay."
Because of that, and the announcement by the City Council that people could relax and go about their lives without worry, Maybelle decided that she could relax again.
Until finally one day, it happened again. The sound started on one side of the sky and spread across from east to west. The sound waves shattered windows and rattled the bones of the citizens of Baseville County.
"I knew it," shouted Maybelle at no one in particular, "I knew it! It's aliens, and we're being invaded."
Maybelle ran to her closet, which she called her "safe room," locked herself in, and peeked out the keyhole to see if any aliens would come to her house.
Your poem to our Lord is a wonderful masterpiece. I truly enjoyed it. I would like it very much if you would consider poems about the other names and characteristics of God. A possible result would be adding them to a new future book of yours.
My favorite line is: "One who builds us up in places long torn down."
Wonderful poem. It is amazing that just today (Sunday) I preached two services on this topic. Your poem exemplifies those changes in life expressed in a grand manner.
The cadence is perfect, and your word usage was excellent. I can only say, "Well done!"
I can see the beginnings of a good story. But, I couldn't figure out the plot. Every good story needs a plot. As well, I found some problems which could be changed and would improve the story. I added just some below to give you examples of what I mean.
1.
"Hey mom," she said causing her mother, Meredith, to look up.
We can already tell that Zola was speaking.
2.
"Yes, Zola." [commas are important]
Again, we know who answered Zola.
3.
"Did you write down that I also wanted makeup for Christmas? The girls in my class are wearing makeup and I have none." Zola said [as she walks around the couch, while her mom's eyes followed her.]
4.
"You do remember that you are only nine right? When I was your age, I wasn't [worried]about wearing makeup or who had a crush on who[,]" says Meredith.
5.
"Thanks, mom. But I would still like some makeup soon[,]" said Zola.
6.
Zola then goes upstairs to her room. She looks in her mirror and stares at herself for a while. She tries to see what her mother is seeing in her. To her, she was nothing like her mother was seeing.
The above three sentences are written in the "telling" mode and you should use the "showing" mode. One example of this is as follows:
Zola climbed the stairs to her room and walked to the mirror. Starting from her feet, she slowly moved her eyes up her reflection's body with a frown on her face. "I wonder what mom sees? Cause I don't see the same thing."
A simple, short, and to the point poem.
It is its simplicity that makes it fun as well.
But, there is one point that needs attention: "Is a Black eyed smile."
This editorial is well written. You used the stories in a way that helped you make your argument better. This is definitely a skill to further develop for the purpose of these types of writings, as well as sermons and teachings in the future.
Okay, I just learned a new word. Now I have to find at least five opportunities to use "transpicuous" in a sentence, Once I found out the meaning of "transpicuous," I assume that the point of your poem is that "Unconditional Love" is what clearly demonstrates the existence of God. As someone who already believes in God, I agree but reading this from the perspective of a non-believer, that argument is not as clear.
I liked this poem though. And, I liked it very much.
I found this essay quite informative. I believe you did a great job with the explanation. I have one problem with it though. I personally have a real problem with The Holy Spirit being referred to as "it."
You said, "Do you recognize and interact with it?" I believe He should always be referred to as "Him."
LOL! I almost fell off my chair reading this story. I couldn't find anything grammatically wrong with it, but then I was laughing so hard I probably just did not notice any. Thank you for sharing this story with us. I really did need the laugh.
As a student of the Word of God for over 38 years, I am looking forward to reading and reviewing these entries. I am always excited when I find someone who is willing to tackle such a valuable job.
I found only one issue, you said: "ALL scripture was at the beginning inspired of God." I have a different opinion: I believe that ALL scripture is inspired by God at ALL times. Yes, I will agree that not all that calls itself "scripture" is actually "inspired" scripture. But, ALL Scripture is inspired by God.
OVERALL The lesson of your story comes through clearly. You have a skill at using stories to teach, as our Lord Jesus did with His parables.
SUGGESTIONSThis section of the story needs grammatical attention:
Once[,] I was offered a job and given a starting pay that I never imagined. Just as my nephew received more than what he asked, God gave me more than [for] what I was asking.
The title of this article caught my attention. One of the first things that come to my mind is that you really do love writing. It is obvious in the way that you use your language, the order in which you present your arguments, and a clear-cut structure of the article itself. It is a good thing that you have found this website because it will present you with the opportunity to not only write but as is the desire of all writers, to get reactions from others.
I have found, that the best way to get comments, reactions, and reviews from people and this site is to offer plenty of gift points. Normally I offer between 1 to 2000 GPs.
Without passion, you'll give up. Passion is the energy inside your heart that will support you during difficult times. Those people who will review your writings fall into two groups, first, there are those who review for the purpose of getting GPs. Secondly, and most importantly, are those who do reviews because they love reading and they want to encourage others to keep on writing. I am part of the second group and hope to find others who are like myself.
Thank you for sharing this with us and keep on writing.
Overall: Your short story, "The Quiet One," urged me to check out your portfolio. This poem does speak volumes about you to a counselor such as myself. But, I am not here to counsel you, am I?
Positive Notes: You have a beautiful way of expressing your feelings with the written word.
Suggestions: I would encourage you to choose to write a longer poem, but also adding color to it and maybe center the text.
I recommend the following. I have made some suggestions for corrections and included them here.
Her silence was enough.
She need not say a word anymore.
Everything she's ever said is now finished.
The pain in her heart, the wall that she's built brick by brick,
is for her heart and spirit's own protection.
She sheds only a single tear.
She's been hurt too many times by too many.
So, if you do see her,
the answers you may seek will be behind her hazel eyes.
The one that seeks to understand her will then understand
that's not a look of fear or hopelessness at all.
It is the look of a warrior who isn't giving up as one would think.
But, it's when you see her pain behind her hazel eyes,
that is when the world will see her real accomplishment.
As painful as it may seem, in that very first moment
when one sees the look of determination in her,
she's not giving up on herself.
She is giving up and letting go of the many people
she once trusted or tried to trust at one time.
They caused unmeasurable pain in her heart in the very beginning
and then they were gone.
So, let go of those who have already gone.
Overall: I read only the first paragraph, which was lengthy. Your topic is clear and well articulated, but it lacks careful attention to grammar.
Positive Notes: It seems as though it will ultimately be a useful article.
Suggestions: It needs grammatical attention. I suggest Gammarly, and it is free of charge.
Errors/typos:
1. Writing is like breathing the air, [it] should be done in a natural way because it's part of our everyday life.
2. The more you practice, the more you get better - should be "the better you get"
3. In the "Old Days[,]" the art
4. most of them [belong] to the middle-class
5. Nevertheless, as time [passed] the art of writing
6, Just [as] in my case, I've been working
7. As supervisor[,] my main job
8. Based on my [experience] and observation,
9. Those who can write well often than not [get] the advantage
10. appreciate the quality of my [paperwork] hence[,] I've earned
Overall: A bit dark and slightly tough, but right on the mark. Racism from any person, black, white, brown, or others, should never be accepted or ignored.
Positive Notes: Nice grouping of the stanzas 5 lines per.
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