"Isabell" is a mild tale of lost love in a vaguely Gothic world. The author creates room temperature images to relate his sense of loss and in some cases he is successful. However, the best images are so late in the work that I no longer cared. Of course the writer and the subject of the poem has interest. The trick is to interest those not directly involved. Beef it up so that the readers of your work will make an emotional investment.
"My Storm" is a poetic look deep inside a troubled soul and the attempt to cope. The author effectively uses chant-like rhythmic cantor and rhetorical devises to draw the reader into a stormy world. Required reading for all that would have empathy for a less than perfect existence.
Mr. Weirdo... just wanted to let you know that the Writer's Cramp requirement is to highlight the words "the last time I" you have highlighted the words "the last time"
In the next sentence after the one you currently have highlighted is the phrase "the last time I"
If you change your highlighted words your work will fit the Writer's Cramp qualifications. Just wanted you to know.
Rhychus
The concept of owning spirits that reside in the attic fascinated me immediately. However, one reason why I don't usually read for entertainment is that I'm lazy. If the words don't flow easily for me, I put the book down. I found "My Spirits In The Attic" in desperate need of editing. Consider this rearranged sentence from the first paragraph. Doesn't it flow easier or is it just me?
"Who would believe a mother of three naughty puppies had spirits residing in the attic, no matter how eccentric she looked, behaved, or bizarre her child rearing sense?"
Maybe even reversed...
"No matter how eccentric she looked, behaved, or bizarre her child rearing sense, who would believe a mother of three naughty puppies had spirits residing in the attic?"
But the killer is the next sentence. It's incomplete. "And that " is a joiner for a compound sentence and you only have one. Remove that phrase and leave "They disagreed to move out with us."
Great concept but "My Spirits In The Attic " needs editing for grammatical errors to make it readable.
Afterglow - A remembrance of past glory. I believe Freud would have a field day with "Nature's Afterglow." Though not directly sexual in nature (no pun intended), the author's choice of phallic symbols and psycho-sexual references lends itself to draw out the excitement, if not the direct arousal of coupling all God's creatures basking in Earth's "sanctity of togetherness and hope." Mandatory reading for those who appreciate simile and alegory.
I found "At Summer's End" to be a mystical brooding juxtaposition of the rewards of harvest and the inevitable judgement of winter. The author artfully paints a dramatic image of this time to reap what you sow. What will you reap on the circle of life or death? Highly recommended for all who enjoy this season of renewal.
I found "I Don't Want To Anymore" a easy, yet fascinating read. The author shines her spotlight upon the secrets of her friends, before turning that same light upon herself to both identify and further mystify. I highly recommended this multifaceted work.
"Forget" is a deeply moving work that draws the reader as we willingly strive to understand it's forlorn undertones. Not only does the author forget his other half but also love itself. In the end neither exist and all that is left is void. An ideal read for anyone who has experienced extreme shock of an intimate loss.
What if poetry were the standard method to convey instructional information? In "Unificity," the author combines splendid imagery with slightly erratic rhythmic cantor to guide readers on the subject of effective listening. This work capably converts a mundane subject into a highly recommended mystical experience.
"Accept Me for Me" is a simple easy read poem which economizes on standard rhetorical devices. The effect is black and white with an "in your face" morality. The author effectively makes her point, however, I found "Accept Me for Me" lacking the amount of rhythmic literature required for me to care.
"Sleep Again" is not a casual read and doesn't give up it's secrets easily. The reader is required to look deep into each stanza and think hard about each verse in order to reap it's reward. This a dark mysterious work and my favorite from this author so far.
Anyone ready to empathize with something gentle, rhythmic and refreshing then "Sweet Music" is what the doctor ordered. The author expertly uses standard rhetorical devices to bathe us in a soft symphonic lullaby. Highly recommended for a most relaxing read.
Using chant-like phrases and other rhetorical devices the author sing songs the experience of a family outing to achieve a primitive mystical feel. This work effectively puts a spirit into each element of a common campfire until it is alive and we are surrounded by ghostly wilderness.
A suspenseful journey into destinations unknown, the author artfully draws us into his psychological thriller using the contrasting pens of fear and curiosity. What lays on the other side of his realm is only half as compelling as what changes we experience along the way.
Wonderfully explicit imagery permeates "Anticipation," although the better title for this work might have been "Loneliness." At the end I was left feeling sad for love not realized. Personally, I prefer a more structured poem would have improved it's rhythmic canter.
"A Forrest Walk" is a delightful read because it effectively shares the author's spiritual, emotional and positive physical reaction to his natural setting. Anyone who enjoys the drama of a simple hike through the woods would be touched by this beautifully painted poem.
Excuse me while I gather together my emotions after reading "She Had To Endure." The author takes us deep inside his soul to reveal his respect, appreciation and love for the one who gave him life in so many ways. Mandatory reading for anyone who has a caring mother.
The Holy Spirit speaks to us using Magoo's special talent as his medium. The author exercises his respect of words to effectively account the sacrifice of the Lamb of God. Few denominations could disagree with the Biblical facts blended into Magoo's simple yet powerful work.
Very entertaining and rhythmic poetry. Captain Banana Peel takes me back to childhood and my days of pretending to be The Green Hornet, Batman and jumping off the couch while flapping my arms trying to fly. Each line is perfect iambic tetrameter. The world is a better place with Captain Banana Peel!
No doubt that this story was an attention getter for me! I could easily identify with the respectable responsible man fighting the temptations that occur when driving through a suburban school zone. Although I've never had children, I could imagine the shock of realizing first hand the sexual attraction of your own daughter. Sounds like quite an eye opener! A very good read.
Little guy? Maybe before Burger became King... I suppose you could say the same things about any lump on the carpet.... tell me more abut the "Devil within" .... everything is "WHO" ...where's the "How When Where and How?" The mad scientist is eager... Put the dark against the light.... all sweet and no sour... Try again!
I'm trying to find a way to review this but it only confuses me. There's some pretty graphics but they didn't help me. How do these options show how international a population may be? There should be an "other" category for those of us that didn't fit any of the distractors. Sorry, I was left dazed and confused.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rhychus/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.34 seconds at 11:39pm on Apr 18, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
