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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rhymerreisen
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105 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "21 Specific things that made the 1970's in association with "Mega Review Challenge .
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
            I love this piece! I was born in 1980, and I know exactly what poster you're talking about! Bahahah! All of your points are well-worded, thought about in detail. And I, especially as a child of the 80's, appreciate learning how we got to the Coca-Cola-fueled neon of the next decade.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I can't find anything wrong with this piece. I’m sure there are teachers or academics out there who would be happy to disagree with me, but, then, I don’t have their experiences. As it stands, I think this piece is strong and accurate. Your points are all correct. Excellent!


Summary:
 
 
         What a fun piece! I love it, and, based on this, I hope you don’t ever stop writing. You do have an interesting voice, and I love reading it. I’m sorry I don’t have any suggestions to make it better, but I do love it! Thank you so much, and thank you for the trinket!

 
 
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2
2
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "Writer's Dilemma in association with "Mega Review Challenge .
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         You’ve captured that elusive and bossy muse right here. After the fightiest fight I’ve ever had with a muse concerning a recent vignette I wrote, I’ve come to the conclusion that any power I have as a writer comes from the muse. And I love thta final line about how we “feed on their brilliance, swimming or flailing in their wake just keeping our head above water lest we not drown in words.” It’s somehow scary and comforting at the same time that we are at the mercy of the muse.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Please, this is perfectly written. At this point, I know my reviews for you aren’t helpful so much as far as making your writing better, but when it comes to you, I do reviews so you know you’re on to something. And this is the case here again. Surprise, you nailed it. lol


Summary:
 
 
         I love this piece! I love it when you describe the muse and its process. I don’t feel so alone on this path when I read your words. And this one is one of my favorites. And I love how you were able to capture the idea that the muse lives on “feast or famine”, nothing in between. Or at least mine doesn’t. Ahem. I get that’s the point. lol Another piece well-rooted in excellence and crafting. I am such a fan of yours.

 
 
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3
3
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "The Big Book of Obscure Minor Blessings. in association with "Mega Review Challenge .
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         You blow me away with your works to the point I will read everything you ever post. This piece is hilarious, along the same lines as Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, and I didn’t realize how much I needed this piece. From the first line when you named the character, it’s clear this story requires a brain and a sense of humor, and you did not disappoint since I brought both. Do you know you’re brilliant?


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. I found one typo (third paragraph down, “it’s” should be “its”), but I’m not counting that…my iPad changes the two without my consent all the time. Outside of that, I can’t find anything “wrong”…this piece goes beyond that and gives me everything that’s right. I laughed so hard on the paragraph about socks, especially the last line…you nailed that comedic tone through writing, the timing is perfect…I’m calling it perfect.


Summary:
 
 
         I’m a fan of yours, and I think you’re one that most people should fan. The thought and work you’ve put into this piece shows, right down to the line about “there’s no accounting for taste”. On a selfish level, I hope you’re around here for a long time, and that you create to your heart’s satisfaction.

 
 
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4
4
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, {item:} in association with "Mega Review Challenge .
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         Bahahah! I love this so much! I’m already singing this song in my head! I hope you and your dad have as much fun making these as they are to hear!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Brilliant. There's something thrilling about hearing a story told the way your father tells them. He could be reading the mail, and I would still throw five-star reviews at you.


Summary:
 
 
         Here in the States, we’re usually shown the worst parts of the world, including “Slumdog Millionaire”, we hear about how horrible the Ganges is with pollution, and we just picture crowded cities, dusty and sick. But that’s not the image you paint at all, and because of this, because of you, I’ve been researching India…we in the U.S. have no idea what we’re missing. To be part of a culture that came from an original civilization, be be surrounded by the beautiful environment indiginous to the area…the culture, the spirituality…the life…it’s easy to see why you guys are proud of your land, and you should be proud. You are an amazing people, and I’m thankful that our paths crossed, that you’ve shown me a more realistic and beautiful side. I’m completely taken, and these stories just fuel my interest and curiosity. Excellent!

 
 
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5
5
Review of The Keeper  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "The Keeper in association with "Mega Review Challenge .

*Party* Aaaaand…this is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up *Party*
Happy birthday, WDC, and happy celebrations to you!

 
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         A couple of months ago, you and I had a conversation about who will want what once we’re gone…maybe this is the answer to that? Who cares about things when we really do mold those around us as they do us. And I love the idea of giving ourselves to the next generation to make of this life what they will. My long (and maybe forgotten point) is that this such a beautiful way to see people…to look at a photo or read a name written in a family Bible and realize they had a whole life, a bundle of experiences…a heart of love and hate and fear and hopes…even though my wording isn’t the most efficient here, I feel like you get what I’m saying. I love the story of this piece, and it punches me right in the heart.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Punctuation? Check. Well-presented execution? Check. I kinda feel bad when I do reviews of your pieces just because I can’t usually find any accidents or typos or mistakes. I swear I’m looking! (I have started using semicolons more now, I’ve noticed, so I’ve taken that away from your pieces…lol) In fact, people who don’t know how punctuation isused at all would benefit from simply reading your pieces. You’re so brilliant!


Summary:
 
 
         I love this. I love buying old Bibles from used bookstores, to see the notes other people wrote, to find what was important to them…I have one on my bookshelf that chronicles the moon landing and some of the space missions of the sixties and early seventies, and it is fascinating. This was someone’s life…someone’s story. I read this piece, and that’s what I think of, that feeling of being allowed a peek into someone life from the past. You…are…amazing!!! I love reviewing your pieces; you make it so easy. Thank you!

 
 
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Review of Laundry Day  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "Laundry Day.
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         Of course this is uh-mazing. The celebration of finding oneself, of beingoneself is captured here with such a joyous and freeing feeling underneath the words. From the first line of “Crawl outside yourself” is the perfect introduction to this piece, an acknowledgement that maybe the best way to find ourselves is to go outside and see us, celebrate ourselves…great piece!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Your words are always awesome, especially when they complete an idea. So many good lines here…”drink of water’s shimmer”…”the poetry that rattles your soul”…”playing leapfrog with fireflies”…”grab your rumpled skin and wash it clean in river flow”…these all support what I took to be the idea, a graceful dance of words that are easy to read, easy to understand, and it leaves the reader with the feeling that we’re worth finding and loving.


Summary:
 
 
         Another slam-dunk. When I tell others about loyalty to a writer, this piece is why…I can guarantee, when I read your works, you uphold a high standard for yourself. I know I’m safe as a reader in your writery hands, that you’ll take me somplace real and fantasy at the same time. And you’re consistent, even as you learn and grow. Such a great piece!!

 
 
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7
Review of Moderation  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "Moderation in association with "Mega Review Challenge .
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         I like the story here. The subject matter is succint, easy to understand. Good flow, nice details. I like pictures!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Wow, this may be the weakest piece I’ve seen by you. There is no punctuation, but that’s a little fix. I would change “to use in my newsletter” to “To use in my newsletter:”


Summary:
 
 
         What a great piece! You state your intent, and then you followed through! Thanks for sharing!!

 
 
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8
8
Review of Midnight Spirit  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "Midnight Spirit in association with "Mega Review Challenge . I see you’re newish to WDC…welcome! I hope this site presents itself as a helpful tool to grow your art as it seems to have done mine.
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         I understand this piece is in process, and I will review it based on what you have. The story is chilling when the reader realizes what’s happening and what it means on a personal level. If this is still undone, I can’t wait to see how it finishes, where it ends up.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Even though you may be a “newbie” to the site, it’s clear from your work that you’ve been writing on a serious level for a while. Your word choices are good, and you convey a feeling of creepiness that somehow jumps up in intensity when MC meets…MC. The only thing I can find that I would change is the part where MC dares to raise his concern. Instead of a set of quotes for the next line and then quotes for the next line, I would just put both lines in quotes…”What say you, daunting midnight spirit? Am I to believe that you are me?” But that’s simple, and again, I get this piece is under construction. With that in context, you did a great job with this piece. The punctuation is apt, it works to show the reader how to read the piece, the words are good…and you convey to me, a reader, emotions and feelings of being out alone at night to come across oneself. And the execution of this aspect was well-done.


Summary:
 
 
         Such a great piece! I’m so happy I came across it. If this is how you write, you definitely need to keep writing. Make sure you look around the site, become familiar with it, and if you need any help at all, please feel free to email me. Welcome to WDC!!

 
 
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9
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "Memories of Gandhiji in association with "Mega Review Challenge .
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         I can’t lie, I’m so in love with these recordings. There’s an inherent magic that makes my heart jump with joy in learning. To hear you guys tell thse stories…I mean, I know these are great for you, to preserve these stories, but they’re a treat for those of us who get to hear and enjoy them.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Something about your father’s voice, the accent, the way he tells a story…it’s amazing. I can’t wait to learn how to do that with words in a written story, to make someone feel something. These are so cool!


Summary:
 
 
         Because of these pieces, because of your father, I have been doing research into India. What a wondrous and long-lived people! It’s difficult for us in the United States to really understand how long India has been around and the history it’s been through…out country is only 250 years old….yours is something like seven to eight thousand years old…and to be one of the original civilizations…you guys are too cool, and I’m so honored to have listened, to be able to learn about an ancient culture. And recording is a brilliant idea. I just love your contributions to this site and to the world of creativity. Such a great series!! Thank you!

 
 
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Review of Saying Goodbye  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "Saying Goodbye in association with "Mega Review Challenge .
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         What do you get when you cross a beautiful life with emotions from helplessness? This poem. I don’t have any notes honestly…you can’t judge how someone struggles with understanding something deeper than we’re normally accustomed to…this is a sad subject, and your last. line, “You can’t say goodbye when no one is there” squeezes my heart.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Of course I have nothing here. Your works are always consistent. Thank you for using punctuation and showing others how to use it without hurting any kind of flow. In fact, I’d say the punctuation gives it that extra punch, to show a reader how this piece should be read. But that’s one of many aspects of your writing that’s consistent. I feel like any mistakes or accidents are just that, an unintentional typo…but again, none here.


Summary:
 
 
         You are one of the best writers on this site, in my opinion. Your subject matter is never shallow except when done in fun, and this piece substantiates that. I’m so excited you’re writing as much as you are. You’re on fire this year!! And even though this is a difficult subject, it’s a strong piece. Excellent!!

 
 
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11
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, {item:} in association with "Written On The Eve Of My Life. Welcome to WDC!
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         What an excellent poem concerning fear and faith! The reference to Descartes is good, and I love your allusions (“the shade of death”, etc.). At forty, I’m scared by the signs of my body failing, to know mortality is inevitable, maybe soon, and I think it comes down to what you’ve pointed out in the end, “alone with all the best”. There’s a desperation here, an acknowledgement of the humanity, and you did a good job with turning it around.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         You’re clearly a writer. You use punctuation, the words are spelled correctly…excellent job! It should be obvious to your readers how much work you’ve put into this, how much time and energy.


Summary:
 
 
         Look, the point of reviews is to help find weaknesses, to discover ways to strengthen a piece, but I don’t have any notes about weaknesses. I like the words you used, I like how you used punctuation, and I can, in my own way, identify with the sentiment of this piece. You’re proving already to be an asset to this site. I hope to read more of your work. Keep writing, cause the world needs your voice!!

 
 
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Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
I’m writing as I’m listening…I love this. It touches something in me I needed, a break in cultural differences. There is such an energy transferred from the two of you to the listener that causes my heart to feel as if it was exploding. I’m so thankful you did these, so honored to have listened. To hear a piece from another culture in the language, in the accent…one of the most beautiful pieces to touch my heart. Thank you so much!!
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Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! This is one of the most interesting pieces on this site, hands down. I love it! The accent, the story…ugh, it makes me very thirsty for more like this. I as a citizen of the United States do not know as much about the world as I should, and it might sound silly, but I feel my privilege being checked here, and it needs to be. What some think of as hardships are just life to those living it, and maybe that perception changes everything. I love you for educating us, and for you and your father opening up on such a personal level as to put your voice out there. Awesome job! Seriously, thank you for the perception-slap!
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Review of [ Doubt ]  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "[ Doubt ] in association with "Mega Review Challenge and "Rising Stars Summer Camp.
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         Welcome to WDC! I can already tell you’re gonna be an asset, and I hope it returns the favor to you like it has me. You may be a newbie to the site, but you have written something here substantiating your time and work within the craft. I don’t normally love rhyming poetry because it seems to be the easy way out these days. But this piece…I love it. Despite the name, I’m not a poet naturally, so I appreciate the time you must have put into this piece, to find the perfect word to convey what you mean while finding a rhyme that isn’t Dr. Seuss-y. You’ve captured the feeling of [doubt] so well here. Excellent job!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         There is little punctuation, and while I notice that kind of thing, I don’t feel comfortable reviewing against the punctuation just in case it may have been a metaphor for the larger point of the piece that I may have missed. Even if this is an accident, it’s very easy to fix. And if it was intentional, then right on. There are a couple of punctuation issues, but, again, I’m not judging the talent because my iPad often changes “its” to “it’s” without my consent. These are little things, nothing to even think twice about once fixed. Outside of that, there aren’t weakness in the execution. And the only reason I speak of the punctuation is because sometimes readers have to shown how to read a piece the way you hear it in your voice.

Summary:
 
 
         What a great piece! For me, I’m learning my place on this planet, and the last line (“For there is not a verdict in anything but doubt”) is a slap to the heart. And this is all why I say you will be an asset to this site. This piece was so much better than I could have hoped for from a “newbie”. If you ever need help, especially concerning the site, please don’t hesitate to message me! If I can’t answer your concern, I can direct you to someone who can. Welcome to WDC!

 
 
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Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "What Mask Do You Wear? in association with "Mega Review Challenge .
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         First off, welcome to WDC! As a newbie myself, I can testify this site, if you learn how to use it, will help boost your writing abilities to the best of your talent, and I’m very excited for your journey here!
           I like what you did with this, how the darkness starts as soon as the eyes are open. The only critique I really have concerning the material is this: I think you can take it further. This is an excellent piece, but I feel like you know this subject better than you’ve expressed. It’s painful, it’s lonely…and please don’t take that as a negative…you have an excellent start here, and it wouldn’t take much for you to really push it, to delve down into the deeper, darker parts of yourself that aptly describe what this feeling is. Such a good piece!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         The layout is a little difficult to read, but honestly, that’s all I can find on a large scale. I’m not even holding that against you, and here’s why: WDC allows their writers more control over their pieces by using what’s called Mark-up Language, an easier version of HTML. That knowledge comes with experience, and that’s not your fault. Basically, I’m saying awesome piece, technically.


Summary:
 
 
         I think this is excellent. I do believe you can dive into it, wring those emotions from your soul, but to be fair, that’s something I’m also learning. It doesn’t mean anything negative…it’s actually very positive, because it means you can do it! Just from what I’ve read, I already know you have it in you!! Such a good piece! Please, keep writing, because you have something there. And if you ever have questions, please feel free to contact me! So glad you’re here!!

 
 
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Review of No Sunset Tonight  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "WDC Review A-Thon! CLOSED til Next Year"   by Tina -Happy Fall- ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         You always convey such a good message, one that always needs to be found by…someone. This is so apt, to remember to stop…breathe…it’s all there, and it’s all okay. I really love the part, “not even an excellent imagination could force into being a dragon or anything else”.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I really like what you did here, how you executed this piece. The first half where the woman grouses, complains, and mourns are met pointedly with your reactions of insisting, continuing, and, best of all, smiling. Word choice is amazing, the flow is innate. You use punctuation to direct the flow…and you capture a snapshot of one very fussy patron and why there was no sunset for her.


Summary:
 
 
         As usual, you have given a well-written piece. You tell a story, paint this picture, and even though I don’t know what she looks like or what her name is, I don’t need to; I know this woman. I sometimes am this woman. And anyone who is serious about writing would do well to pay attention to your works, to see what you’ve done, how you’ve executed it, and why the stories you tell through poetry work. This is where I normally say the world needs your stories, that you shouldn’t stop writing, but I bet your muse doesn’t give you that option. Ha HA!! ;)

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen

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Review of The Dark...  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "WDC Review A-Thon! CLOSED til Next Year"   by Tina -Happy Fall- ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         Ooooh, this is a really cool piece! It reminds me of an episode of The Twilight Zone, “The After Hours”. You’ve presented a really cute story that starts out dark and scary, and I love what you did here. That’s so cool!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I’ve read a few pieces of yours, and of course this is well-written. Your word choice, the flow…you even managed, in such few words, to throw in a twist. Great poem!


Summary:
 
 
         You had me hooked with your words choice in the beginning, and then the dark turned into cute! What a great piece, especially given how many words you used! I’m a fan!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen

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Review of INVISIBLE DRAGON  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "WDC Review A-Thon! CLOSED til Next Year"   by Tina -Happy Fall- ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         What a great poem! You’ve put a message and slapped a metaphor on it, and I love it! You turned something dirty into art, and this was a perfect read for so many reasons. For one, you put in a message, a real message. The flow is beautiful, effortless. Excellent job!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I couldn’t find any issues with this five-star piece. The way you wrote it, it’s beautiful. It’s such a good poem that one might think writing this was easy and only took a minute…I know better. I can see your hard work in your word choices and analogies. Great job!


Summary:
 
 
         You’ve written a perfect poem, at least to me. I feel strongly about the subject matter, and, as a reader, I have no problem following your metaphors. Such a good piece!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen

 "I am a Rising Star!" glass image.
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Review of The Storm  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "WDC Review A-Thon! CLOSED til Next Year"   by Tina -Happy Fall- ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         What a cute story! And there’s a twist! I’ve never thought about a story with talking squirrels, but I bet they probably have the coolest conversations. The characters are cute, and because you did a good job on them, I’m all about following where they were going.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         The only thing I could find that could be considered an issue is the three periods after the word “shower” near the end…a comma would work better, but if this was a decision to keep those, then the piece actually still stands…it’s not enough to really pull a reader from the piece. You also did a very good job of creating a full story in just so few words. You’re really good!


Summary:
 
 
         This is such a cute story, so entertaining. You did a good job presenting this, a good job showing. I see this was a contest entry, and I hope you’re proud of it…you have a strong piece here, and it was fun to read. You should keep writing because you’re good, and the world needs more stories like this one. Great job!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen

 "I am a Rising Star!" glass image.
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Review of Summer Jam  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "WDC Review A-Thon! CLOSED til Next Year"   by Tina -Happy Fall- ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         I see you’re new to WDC, so welcome! I see you’re not new to writing. Ha HA! No, really, I can tell that you’ve got a lot of experience under your belt. This reads in my head like “Stomp!” plays in my ears (in a good way)…this piece just became musical, and I find that to be a really cool aspect.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I didn’t find any real issues outside of maybe a couple of punctuation issues…but with poetry, it’s hard for me to tell when that’s done intentionally or as a mistake, and in any case, it never took me from the piece. Excellent job!


Summary:
 
 
         I don’t know how you did it, but you managed to create this symphony of words that creates very succinct imagery. It’s very easy to see this piece move as a movie, and I have no idea how you did that. This is the first piece of yours I’ve read, and I’m already a fan. I mean, really, you were born to write. Please don’t ever stop! Excellent job!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen

 "I am a Rising Star!" glass image.
21
21
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "WDC Review A-Thon! CLOSED til Next Year"   by Tina -Happy Fall- ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         Okay, I’m officially a fan. Great piece, full of knowledge with that twist of art. You are really good. I always love a piece from which I can learn something. Good job!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I found no issues with this piece, and you’ve earned my trust as a reader to follow you down whatever journey you wanna take me. I already know there will be the minimum amount of accidents, and nothing to take me from the story. That’s a comforting feeling, to find a writer new to me in whom I can place trust equal to that I give someone like Stephen King or Rod Serling. Perfect!


Summary:
 
 
         I’m definitely a fan, and I would love to see everyone jump onto your stories to read them. Your presentation, this poem, is so well-done! Excellent job!! Again! Lol

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen

 "I am a Rising Star!" glass image.
22
22
Review of Coorah Cockatoo  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "WDC Review A-Thon! CLOSED til Next Year"   by Tina -Happy Fall- ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         I like where you took this story, and there’s a moral at the end! You have a real message, an important one. You’ve labeled this story as “children’s”, but adults could stand to read this message, also. Great job!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         The only issue I found (and I only bring it up because it’s such an easy fix to make this piece so strong) is when you say “she heard her families stories”…because they are the stories of the family, it would be written “family’s stories”…the way it’s written means more than one family without ownership to more than one story. Otherwise, this piece is presented well. Again, great job!


Summary:
 
 
         I agree with this story, and as an adult, I feel this should be a message found by the masses. You are a really good writer, and any mistakes I’ve found by you are simple edits, accidents made when our fingers type too fast trying to keep up with our brain. I see you’re new to WC, also, so welcome! If you keep this up, keep telling your stories with your voice, you’re gonna have no problem finding your niche here. Excellent piece!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen

 "I am a Rising Star!" glass image.
23
23
Review of Corona  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "WDC Review A-Thon! CLOSED til Next Year"   by Tina -Happy Fall- ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         Even with so few words, you told a story, and you conveyed the feeling of this thing. I bow to you on that!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         This is so cool, how you set it up. Props on the work it took to make this look as perfect as it does. I’m relatively new to poetry, and this style is new to me. I love it! To me, it’s fresh, and you did a great job choosing your words.


Summary:
 
 
         For a heavy concept, this is a great piece! It’s creative and artistic, and you have a story in there, also. Pretty sure that checks off all my boxes. Great job!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen

 "I am a Rising Star!" glass image.
24
24
Review of personality  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "WDC Review A-Thon! CLOSED til Next Year"   by Tina -Happy Fall- ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         First of all, welcome to WDC! I’m glad I found this piece. I assume you’re in your teens, and I’m so sorry. What a scary time. But you know what? You did a really great job conveying that fear to those of us who are older, those who might’ve forgotten what that feeling is like. It’s clear writing is your passion, and based on this, I can’t wait to read more works of yours.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         There are several minor issues in this piece, little things that are easily fixed. When I say that, I don’t want you to be discouraged…you’re just starting out, you’re gonna make mistakes. And if you wanna know a secret, there is no such thing as a completed nor perfect piece. Even authors who’ve published books can read back through their books and see mistakes and things they’d change based on their evolving experience. Stuff like “its” instead of a needed “it’s”, a double period at the end of a couple of sentences…these are easy fixes, and if you’re serious about molding this piece, I’m happy to help on a deeper level. Because you really are that good at bringing deeper emotions to the surface.


Summary:
 
 
         You’re new, and you have things to learn…don’t let that feel like it’s oppressive, because, in the grand scheme of things, it’s much bigger than that. You’re well on your way with this piece, and you need to keep writing. You’re too good to quit, and the world needs what you did here…it needs storytellers who can convey emotion and a message. Excellent job! And welcome, again! If you ever need anything, just message me!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen

 "I am a Rising Star!" glass image.
25
25
Review of I can't Breathe  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "WDC Review A-Thon! CLOSED til Next Year"   by Tina -Happy Fall- ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         I’ve reviewed a lot over the last few days, and this piece is the probably the hardest personally. You did an amazing job with this one, and I’d love to feature it on my page, if that’s okay. Usually in a piece, I can pick a phrase or two that I really love, the part that grabs me, but I can’t do that with this. This whole thing is really well-captured, a description of your daily fear.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         The format of this piece makes it just a little difficult to read, the small font and the lack of spacing, but those are easy fixes, and I’m happy to help with that if you need it, cause this piece needs to be heard. There are a few places where punctuation could be used, but again, these are easy fixes. All those little things aside, the voice of this piece still stands, and it’s strong. Great, great job!!


Summary:
 
 
         This is one of my favorite pieces I’ve found on this site because it feels so raw, so real, and so terrifying…I’m so sorry that you have to live in this country this way, your home. Your voice and energy behind this piece far outweigh any small mistakes, and that’s the sign of a writer right there. Excellent job, and I can’t wait to read your piece the day we can come together and see each other for who we are, not what we look like. Such a great job! Do not stop writing!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen

 "I am a Rising Star!" glass image.
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