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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rhymerreisen
Review Requests: ON
15 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Leftovers  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Technical aspects:
 
 
         There are a couple of technical accidents, “your” instead of “you’re”, “cowards” instead of “coward’s”, but these are little issues, easy fixes. On top of that, it’s difficult to judge punctuation in poetry, difficult sometimes to tell if something is an accident or an intentional artistic choice.


Story Aspects:
 
 
         This is so beautiful. I’m sorry for your loss, but you’ve taken something so painful and turned it into a beautiful warning to the rest of us, that who we are matters and what we do alters those around us. I love the juxtaposition of the “f*** you” and “I love you”...this is just beautiful.


Summary:
 
 
         It’s clear you know how to pull emotion, and you do it really well. You did a great job of bringing to light aspects I’m not sure those who are hurting would consider before such an action. I’m sorry for your loss, and I hope you can find some sort of peace. Take care of yourself, okay? And, please, don’t stop creating!

 
 
                             

~Rhymer
 Reisen

 
😁❤️
2
2
Review of I will win  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.0)
Technical aspects:
 
 
         There are a few technical issues pertaining to punctuation, but these are small and easy fixes. And to be honest, this piece is really good, to the point that the smaller technical issues aren’t hindering. And it’s difficult to decide in poetry what is an accident and what is intended.


Story Aspects:
 
 
         This is an amazing story, one that should be an anthem. It hints at dark struggles, and the victory that comes after such struggles is very exciting. I think you nailed that aspect.


Summary:
 
 
         This really is a great piece.
 ”so committed, i'm finna finish this”
 ”we are strong together”
 ”but that didn't matter like that song”
 These are really good lines! I love how it’s saturated with darkness with the vision ahead of victory. You will always win! ;) Good job, and please don’t stop creating!!!

 
 
                             

~Rhymer
 Reisen

 
😁❤️
3
3
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.5)
Technical aspects:
 
 
         It seems as if there a few punctuation accidents, such as no comma in “Child, you should sleep”. But these issues are few and easily fixed.


Story Aspects:
 
 
         This is one of my favorite things I’ve read today. It’s so good with that feeling of “creepy but satisfying”. And it feels good, the rhythm. This is such a good piece.
         “ I saw a reddish-dark figure which appeared on the door,
opened eyes I did not keep.” This is a really good piece of imagery, one that makes me feel the panic of seeing the man. So good!


Summary:
 
 
         Such a good piece of work! The imagery is great, and it lends a feeling of darkness that needs to be explored. This is an awesome piece! Please don’t stop creating!

 
 
                             

~Rhymer
 Reisen

 
😁❤️
4
4
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
Technical aspects:
 
 
         Of course this is well-written. It is my personal belief that a Fyn - piece is a piece worked toward grammatical perfection.It’s so easy to read and feel.

Story Aspects:
 
 
         What a warm feeling this piece inspires! And to see your side of a relationship is such a treat!


Summary:
 
 
         This is a great piece, and I would love it even if I didn’t know who the subject is. And I’m certain he didn’t feel the same imagery before now. But this is so good! It makes my heart jump with happiness, from your feelings to your perception!! Thank you!

 
 
                             

~Rhymer
 Reisen

 
😁❤️
5
5
Review of Fish Breath Gum  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I can't even critique this with a straight face. I needed a good laugh, and this piece delivers. “Reverse flavonoids”...”double your money back”...these are cracking me UP! This piece definitely deserved its award. Thank you so much!
6
6
Review of Bookmarks  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is such a beautiful piece! It's easy to remember to not judge a book by its cover, but it's just as easy to forget about the reality of the story in between. "... more the first edition of a classic..." is such an apt line describing so many people who have no idea how important they are, how much their story has caused change and evolution. A book doesn't have to be an Oprah Book Club selection to find validity and worth. This is so good! Another reason to keep writing!
7
7
Review of True North  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this! It gives me the same feeling as the opening scene of Aida, that mystery of something new but familiar, a comfort in discovering the unknown. I think there comes a point in life where we become blinded to the magic, and it’s fun when we’re given the opportunity to see life through those younger, fresher eyes. This piece lives that feeling. Thank you for sharing this!
8
8
Review of Tears  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is one of my favorites of yours shat I’ve so far read. I appreciate how you nailed the idea of a down moment in a day full of good moments. Sometimes our humanity just needs to leak out, and you did a great job of leaking onto the page! I’m sorry for the sad moment, it I can’t help but be in awe of the beauty after.
9
9
Review of The Lake  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is really good! You capture that juvenile petulance, holding an idea that makes little or no sense to anyone else, but to the person clutching the idea, it means everything, good or bad. There’s a haunting feeling, and I like it. You captured a great character in a great way!
10
10
Review of Catching The Moon  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
You've made your experience our experience. I love this one. It reminds me of one of my favorite stories, the same sentiment of fun and romance as an adult.
11
11
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I’m from Oklahoma, and the sentiment of this piece feels like home. This could be framed on anyone’s wall where I live. I’m supposed to find some aspect that can be improved upon, but I can’t. Your talent is clear, and you and your muse made this a fun read! Don’t stop doing what you’re doing!
12
12
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love how this piece coalesces toward the end, much like the subject matter. This is so beautiful, from the imagery to the meaning, and it’s so well-written. This is one of those that will stick with me through at LEAST the day. Please don’t stop!
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