WriterRick's (rick12221) Reviews

Public Reviews

1

1

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#4880545

Review of Kaede and her Indian friend  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Sep 2, 2026 at 8:27am

Length:   7,216 Characters | 7,216 w/o WritingML

The chapter has a gentle, accessible quality that fits a high school slice of life story very well. Kaede's first day gives the reader a straightforward introduction to her new circumstances, and the chapter gradually moves her from isolation toward connection. By the end, she has made a friend and has encountered Abhijeet in a much more personal situation. That basic progression works. I especially like the contrast between Kaede's old life and her new one. The village is described through birdsong and fields, while the city is represented through crowds, announcements, and unfamiliar movement. It gives her relocation some emotional weight without requiring a long explanation of why she feels uncomfortable. Her apartment also contributes to this. The unpacked boxes and scattered belongings make it clear that she has arrived physically before she has really settled into her new life. Kaede's relationship with Akari is probably the most successful part of the chapter. Akari does not simply appear and announce that she wants to be Kaede's friend. She approaches her hesitantly, invites her to lunch, laughs when Kaede forgets her name, and later invites her to the café. Those small interactions make the friendship feel possible. The strawberry milk conversation is particularly useful because it gives the two girls something ordinary to laugh about. Their relationship becomes more believable because they are talking about something insignificant. Kaede's reaction to the pastry display is another nice character moment. She becomes absorbed in something she finds beautiful and delicious, then realizes that someone has noticed her behavior and becomes embarrassed. That tells us something about her without requiring a paragraph explaining her personality. I would encourage you to look for more moments like that as the story continues. The character becomes most interesting when she is doing something rather than when the narration tells us what she is feeling. Abhijeet is more difficult to evaluate at this point because the chapter deliberately keeps him distant. That can work, especially since Kaede has spent two weeks avoiding him. His introduction gives the reader several visual details, including the forehead mark, sacred threads, scar, height, and formal Japanese. Those details immediately make him stand out from the other students. The danger is that too many of these details arrive together and make him feel designed to be mysterious rather than like an actual person. I would let some of those details emerge naturally later rather than presenting everything about him at once. The chapter also needs some attention to cultural credibility. Abhijeet being Indian with Japanese citizenship is an interesting premise, and the story has an opportunity to explore what that means through his actual life rather than through visual markers alone. His behavior, relationships, family history, language, and experiences in Japan can eventually tell the reader much more about him than the forehead mark or sacred threads. I would be especially careful not to make his Indian identity function mainly as a mysterious trait that makes the Japanese students curious about him. There is also a larger issue with the pacing. The chapter covers a lot of ground on Kaede's first day. She travels to school, meets Akari, meets Abhijeet, attends classes, has lunch, visits a café, rushes for a train, returns home, discovers she has lost her key, calls the landlady, breaks down, and finally encounters Abhijeet. Almost every event is useful, but the accumulation makes the chapter feel slightly engineered toward the final meeting. I think the ending itself is effective. The lost key gives Kaede a genuine immediate problem, and it places her in a vulnerable position just when she has spent the entire chapter trying to manage everything by herself. The arrival of Abhijeet therefore has narrative significance. He is no longer simply the strange boy sitting by the window. He is suddenly the person who may be able to help her. There is one thing I would seriously reconsider, though. Kaede is alone outside her apartment at night, crying, and Abhijeet approaches her. Since he has been established as a boy she has deliberately avoided, the scene needs to be handled carefully. If the intention is romantic tension, the reader needs to feel that Kaede has a reason to trust him rather than simply accepting his presence because the plot needs someone to rescue her. Abhijeet's response to her situation will tell us a great deal about his character. Let him demonstrate who he is through what he does next. The prose itself is generally easy to follow, but there are quite a few places where the narration tells the reader what a character is feeling immediately after showing it. For example, Kaede grips her blazer, avoids eye contact, lowers her head, and blushes. Those actions already communicate embarrassment. Adding another sentence explaining the embarrassment can sometimes weaken the moment. Trust the physical behavior more often. I would also watch for repeated emotional descriptions. Kaede flinches several times, feels nervous several times, lowers her head several times, and repeatedly worries about embarrassing herself. These are appropriate characteristics for her, but repeating the same physical responses can eventually make her feel predictable. Give her different reactions as she becomes more comfortable. A shy person does not react identically to every uncomfortable situation. There are also a number of sentences that need grammatical revision. “The commute from my hometown to these school” should be corrected, and several phrases such as “nearly about six or seven hours” contain unnecessary wording. These are small issues, but cleaning them up will make the prose feel much more natural. I would also check the punctuation around dialogue and narration during revision. The biggest opportunity, however, is to slow down and let the important scenes breathe. The café scene could carry more emotional weight if the conversation revealed something specific about Kaede or Akari. The train ride home could give Kaede a little more space to think about the day. The lost key scene could become more powerful if her helplessness came through her actions rather than through a list of emotions. What I would preserve is the basic heart of the chapter. Kaede arrives in a city where she knows nobody, spends her first day trying to disappear into the background, unexpectedly makes a friend, and then discovers that the boy she has been avoiding may be the person standing between her and a very lonely night. That is a good place to end a first chapter. The next chapter has an opportunity to show the reader something important: who Abhijeet actually is when nobody is watching him. So far, everyone has been looking at him. The students watch him because he is different. Kaede watches him because she is nervous around him. The reader watches him because the story has marked him as important. Now it is time to let his actions answer the question the chapter has created. Who is this boy? My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

2

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#4880373

Review of Noise Pollution  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Sep 1, 2026 at 2:23pm

Length:   2,668 Characters | 2,668 w/o WritingML

This is a fun little piece. The strongest part is that the story sets up one situation and lets the final phone call completely reframe it. The reader spends the whole piece assuming the narrator is dealing with some kind of disturbance, while the mother casually reveals what was actually happening. That makes the ending work. The opening line, “I jumped out of my skin,” immediately puts us into the narrator’s experience. You also do a good job escalating the annoyance. The explosions wake him, the house shakes, the dog reacts, and eventually both the narrator and dog are desperately trying to find some quiet. The detail about the dog claiming the quiet area around 1 AM is especially funny because it treats the dog almost like another exhausted member of the household. The earplugs being hidden in the underwear drawer is another nice touch. It feels like something a real person might do rather than something inserted simply to advance the story. “Aha!” also gives the scene a little personality. I think the biggest opportunity is the narrator’s assumption about what is happening. “They’re at it again” suggests this is a familiar problem, which makes the reader naturally assume neighbors are setting off fireworks. You wisely never explain who “they” are. That keeps the reader inside the narrator’s limited understanding. The final exchange is the best part: “Did you get to see the fireworks last night? They were really something! The ones right around 12:30 were the best.” That line does all the work. Suddenly, the explosions we have been experiencing become fireworks. Even better, the narrator apparently slept through the best part because he was hiding under blankets with earplugs in his ears. The title, “Noise Pollution,” becomes funny after the reveal. I would make a few small corrections. “I got to sleep” could become “I finally fell asleep.” The sentence beginning “Dog and I woke” is awkward and could be smoother. Also, the hyphen before “the phone” should be removed. The final paragraph could benefit from slightly cleaner punctuation. Most importantly, I would resist adding anything to explain the joke. The ending already lands. The humor comes from the gap between what the narrator believes happened and what the mother thinks he experienced. At 219 words, this is a good example of how a very small story can have a complete arc. It has a clear beginning, a rising problem, a moment of resignation, and then a final reveal that changes everything that came before it. The story does not need a lesson afterward. The mother’s phone call is enough. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

3

3

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#4879218

Review of Newbie's Delight  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Aug 21, 2026 at 2:25pm

Length:   3,009 Characters | 3,009 w/o WritingML

This is a charming little poem, and what I like most about it is that it feels genuinely connected to the experience of being part of Writing.com. It isn't trying to sound profound. Instead, it captures the slightly overwhelming feeling of discovering a huge writing community and all the things available to you. The opening is especially clever: “What a tangled web we weave Or is it just the dust bunnies that I haven't cleaned From around my desk computer” That immediately establishes the playful tone. The familiar phrase about a tangled web is turned into a joke about the writer's messy workspace. It also creates a nice connection between the virtual world of the website and the physical world sitting around the writer's computer. The second stanza does a good job capturing the abundance of things to do. “Contests, reviewing, more than a few” gives the impression that the writer has discovered far more opportunities than expected. The line “It often keeps me up at night” adds a personal touch because it shows that the site has become something the writer genuinely enjoys. I particularly like the honesty in: “Organization is not my forte This much I know is true” That makes the narrator more relatable. Instead of presenting the writer as someone who has everything figured out, the poem admits that keeping track of everything can be difficult. The section about Emoticons, Awardicons, Merit Badges, and Trinkets is also effective because those details make the poem specific. Without them, this could be a poem about almost any online writing community. Those references give it a sense of place and make it feel like a snapshot of a particular period in the writer's experience. The strongest emotional shift comes with the “People!” stanza. Up to that point, the poem is mostly about activities, features, and the writer's own struggles with organization. Suddenly, the focus moves to the people. “Helpful, Encouraging, Kind” communicates why the community matters more than all the badges and contests. The final stanza works well as an invitation. “So step on up!” gives the ending some energy, while “You'll never be in the dark / if writing is your sphere” provides a positive closing thought. There are places where the meter isn't perfectly consistent, and some of the rhymes feel slightly forced. I don't think that seriously hurts the poem, though. Its greatest strength is its personality. It reads like someone happily discovering a writing community and trying to make sense of everything it offers. My favorite quality is that it doesn't take itself too seriously. The dust bunnies, lack of organization, badges, trinkets, and overflowing activities all contribute to the feeling of a writer who has found a place where they belong. As a community poem, it succeeds because the reader can feel the writer's enthusiasm. It is welcoming, humorous, and affectionate without becoming overly sentimental. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

4

4

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#4879217

Review of A Toothy Conversation  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Aug 21, 2026 at 2:22pm

Length:   2,743 Characters | 2,743 w/o WritingML

This is a fun dialogue, and I can see what you were aiming for: a nervous patient, a patient dentist, and some goofy misunderstandings. The piece has a light children's humor quality to it, especially the wisdom teeth joke and the turtle and snail mix up. The strongest part is the character of the patient. The person is clearly nervous about having the tooth pulled and keeps trying to delay the procedure. That gives the conversation a natural comic rhythm. The bathroom request is particularly effective because it feels like something a nervous patient might genuinely say when looking for one last excuse. The wisdom teeth line is also a good setup: “I really love my wisdom teeth because it gives me more wisdom…” That is the kind of simple wordplay that fits the tone of the piece. The turtle and snail section is probably the most memorable part, although it could be tightened. The patient starts with turtles, realizes the comparison is wrong, and then tries to explain it anyway. That awkwardness is funny. The dentist's correction gives the joke a second beat. The biggest issue is that the dialogue sometimes sounds more like people explaining the situation to the reader than two people actually talking. For example, the dentist repeatedly explains what is happening in very complete sentences. A real dentist would probably use shorter instructions. Tightening those lines would make the conversation move faster and make the humor stand out. There are also several places where the wording needs grammatical correction. “This tooth looks like it's in bad shape” works, but “the cavity has spread so much” would sound more natural as “the cavity has spread quite a bit.” “That part of the mouth” is also somewhat vague. There are several repeated phrases involving pulling the tooth that could be reduced. The ending works because the patient finally admits that pulling the tooth solved the problem. However, “pulling out that tooth was definitely the solution in fact” sounds somewhat forced. A simpler line would land better. I also noticed the contest requirement: 500 words or fewer. At 446 words, you are safely within the limit, so the basic length requirement is already satisfied. Overall, I think the piece has a good foundation. It is light, silly, and easy to understand. The humor comes from the patient's nervousness rather than from trying too hard to make every line into a joke. My main recommendation would be to tighten the dentist's dialogue, correct the grammatical slips, and let the patient's nervous personality carry more of the humor. That would make the conversation feel more natural while preserving the playful spirit that is already there. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

5

5

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14 days may be credited.

#4879152

Review of The Beginning  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Aug 20, 2026 at 11:30pm

Length:   2,506 Characters | 2,506 w/o WritingML

I like the heart of this piece. It has a simple message that is easy to understand: every day gives us another opportunity to begin again. The strongest quality is its sense of optimism without becoming overly complicated. The morning section feels especially natural. “The beginning of the day when everything starts fresh” immediately establishes the central idea. The sunlight and breeze give the passage a gentle physical setting, while “I can begin anew and do what I came to do” brings the focus back to the person experiencing the morning. That is important because the piece is really about personal renewal rather than simply describing morning. I also like the parallel structure between morning and night. Morning represents possibility. Night represents reflection and renewal. That gives the piece a satisfying movement through an entire day. The line “I can look back and see what I've accomplished” provides a nice contrast with “I can look forward to what more I can do.” It reminds the reader that starting fresh does not mean forgetting what happened before. It means learning from it and moving forward. There are a couple of places where I think the writing could become stronger. “The day greets me with a smile, ready to embrace me” is pleasant, but it is somewhat familiar language. The same is true of “clean slate” and “I can achieve anything.” Those ideas work, but they are common expressions. Your writing becomes more interesting when you make the feeling personal rather than relying on familiar motivational phrases. The night section could also carry a little more emotional weight. Right now, it explains the idea clearly. I think it could make the reader feel the quiet of nighttime more deeply. The night is an opportunity to acknowledge the day without judging it. Some days go well. Some do not. Either way, morning eventually comes. Most importantly, I would keep the simplicity. This does not need elaborate language. Its strength is its accessibility. It could work beautifully as a short inspirational piece for children because the central idea is something a child can understand: yesterday is finished, tonight gives us time to think, and tomorrow gives us another chance. I would develop this rather than radically change it. There is a good little piece here. The idea of morning as a beginning and night as a reset gives it a natural rhythm, and the final lines give the reader something reassuring to carry away. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

6

6

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#4876109

Review of The Sports’ Bland Stand  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jul 23, 2026 at 11:30pm

Length:   2,302 Characters | 2,302 w/o WritingML

This is a short poem with the feel of a cautionary proverb. In just a few lines, it warns readers that confronting someone—particularly someone who uses manipulation or abuse—can have consequences. The message is concise, and the conversational tone makes it easy to understand. The opening stanza establishes the central idea well. The phrase "Isn't just for fun" immediately tells the reader there is a serious lesson ahead, and "that style they're using / Seems thoroughly abusing" suggests the conflict involves more than a simple disagreement. There is an underlying warning about dealing with difficult or manipulative people. The second stanza shifts toward advice. "So play politics" is an interesting choice because it suggests strategy rather than direct confrontation. The following lines encourage perseverance by reminding the reader that setbacks are not necessarily the end. That ending gives the poem a hopeful note after the caution expressed at the beginning. Because the poem is so brief, however, it leaves the reader wanting a little more context. The phrase "play politics" is especially open to interpretation. Does it mean choosing battles wisely? Using diplomacy? Navigating workplace relationships? Readers may come away with different understandings because the poem doesn't quite define its central idea. There are also a few places where the wording could be tightened. For example, "For that style they're using / Seems thoroughly abusing" feels slightly awkward. "Thoroughly abusing" doesn't flow as naturally as the rest of the poem. A stronger verb or more vivid image might make the warning more memorable. The rhyme scheme is simple and effective without drawing attention to itself, and the conversational language fits the reflective nature of the poem. It reads almost like advice from someone who has learned a difficult lesson through experience. Overall, this poem succeeds as a compact piece of wisdom. Its greatest strength is its directness, while its greatest opportunity lies in expanding or sharpening its central image so readers have a clearer sense of the situation being described. Even adding one more stanza could deepen the emotional impact and make the lesson more memorable while preserving the poem's straightforward style. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

7

7

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#4876108

Review of The Smallest Angel  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jul 23, 2026 at 11:28pm

Length:   3,044 Characters | 3,044 w/o WritingML

This is a touching poem that blends faith, sacrifice, and childhood innocence into a story about purpose. Rather than simply writing about the loss of a child, the poet frames Joshua's life as a divine mission, giving the poem a hopeful foundation even as it explores grief. That perspective makes it emotionally different from many poems about illness because it focuses as much on what Joshua gave to others as on what he lost. The opening section is the strongest part of the poem. The conversation in heaven immediately captures the reader's attention and creates a sense of anticipation. The repeated image of hands slowly lowering as the task becomes more demanding effectively illustrates how great the sacrifice will be. When the "smallest angel" volunteers, his simple explanation—"Who better to give it than one my size?"—is both humble and deeply moving. It establishes Joshua's character before he is even born. The middle section successfully grounds the heavenly story in everyday reality. The hospital scenes feel sincere, and Joshua's quiet kindness toward the other children becomes the emotional heart of the poem. His friendship with Cameron is especially effective because it shows that his greatest gift is not miraculous healing but the ability to bring joy, hope, and companionship to children facing unimaginable circumstances. Those moments are likely to resonate with readers regardless of their religious beliefs. The closing returns naturally to the opening scene, completing the story in a satisfying way. The final welcome home reinforces the poem's message that Joshua's life, though brief, fulfilled its purpose. It leaves readers with comfort rather than despair. One area that could be strengthened is the balance between storytelling and poetry. Much of the middle section reads almost like prose written in rhyme, especially during the medical explanations. Lines naming the disease, specialists, and hospital procedures are important to the story but temporarily interrupt the emotional flow established in the opening. Those details could be condensed or expressed with more imagery so that the lyrical quality remains consistent throughout. There are also a few places where the rhyme appears to take priority over natural phrasing. While the rhyme scheme is generally smooth, some lines feel slightly forced in order to preserve it. Relaxing the rhyme occasionally would allow the emotional moments to breathe more naturally. Overall, "The Smallest Angel" is a heartfelt and compassionate poem. Its greatest achievement is that it transforms tragedy into a story of purpose without minimizing the pain experienced by those left behind. The poem offers comfort through faith while celebrating the quiet influence that one small life can have on many others. It is the kind of poem that is likely to mean the most to readers who have experienced the illness or loss of a child, reminding them that love, kindness, and sacrifice can leave a lasting legacy far beyond a single lifetime. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

8

8

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#4876107

Review of Calgary  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jul 23, 2026 at 11:26pm

Length:   3,954 Characters | 3,954 w/o WritingML

This is an ambitious and thoughtful travel essay. Rather than functioning as a guidebook, it attempts to explain Calgary's identity through history, geography, culture, and everyday life. That approach gives the piece a reflective tone that separates it from typical travel writing. It feels less like someone checking off tourist attractions and more like someone trying to understand why a city feels the way it does. The greatest strength of this work is its consistency. Throughout the essay, Calgary is presented as a city of balance. Modern business exists beside rivers and parks. Cowboy traditions live alongside technology and finance. Nature is never portrayed as separate from daily life. That central idea appears again and again without becoming confusing, giving the entire piece a strong sense of unity. Your descriptions of place are also effective. The wide prairie sky, the Bow River, Prince's Island Park, the Rocky Mountains, and the Calgary Stampede all help readers picture the city. You focus less on individual landmarks and more on the atmosphere, which makes Calgary feel like a place where people actually live rather than simply a destination for visitors. Another strength is your pacing within individual sections. Most chapters begin with observation, move into explanation, and conclude with personal reflection. That pattern makes the information easy to follow while giving readers time to absorb each topic. I especially enjoyed the sections about everyday life. Your observations about neighborhood parks, backyard barbecues, coffee shops, and weekend markets add humanity to the essay. Those details often tell readers more about a city than lists of famous attractions ever could. The writing style is clear and accessible. Short paragraphs keep the essay moving, and your vocabulary is simple without feeling overly basic. Readers of almost any background could comfortably follow your ideas. The biggest area that could be improved is repetition. Several themes return almost word for word throughout the book. Readers are reminded many times that Calgary balances nature and modernity, that it is not trying to imitate Vancouver or Toronto, and that it rewards people who take time to understand it. Those ideas are strong, but after several chapters they begin to lose some of their impact because they are restated instead of expanded. The overall length could also be reduced considerably without losing depth. Many sections make the same point using different examples. Tightening those passages would create a stronger rhythm and give each observation greater weight. In its current form, the book sometimes feels like multiple essays covering overlapping material rather than one carefully edited narrative. One suggestion would be to allow each chapter to have a more distinct purpose. For example, one chapter could focus entirely on geography, another on history, another on culture, another on daily life, and another on the future of Calgary. That would reduce overlap while giving readers something new to discover in every section. I also found myself wanting a few more personal experiences. The essay occasionally mentions your own observations, but most of the narrative stays at a distance. Including more conversations with local residents, unexpected moments, or memorable encounters would give readers a stronger emotional connection to both you and the city. Overall, this is a well organized and engaging portrait of Calgary. It succeeds because it looks beyond famous landmarks and asks what gives the city its identity. With careful editing to remove repeated ideas and strengthen the personal storytelling, this could become a polished travel book that offers readers something more meaningful than a standard travel guide. It encourages readers to appreciate a place not for its famous attractions alone, but for the rhythm of everyday life that defines it. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

9

9

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#4876101

Review of The Last Spring  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jul 23, 2026 at 10:19pm

Length:   4,431 Characters | 4,431 w/o WritingML

I enjoyed reading this opening. Even in rough draft form, it already has a clear identity. It doesn't read like someone trying to imitate a Western. It reads like someone who genuinely enjoys the genre and wants to tell a long, character driven story. The world feels lived in, and I think that's one of its biggest strengths. The first paragraph is excellent. It immediately establishes that this is a changing America instead of the romantic Old West that readers usually expect. Railroads, telegraphs, fences, automobiles, and growing cities all signal that the frontier is disappearing. That gives your protagonist a natural conflict before he even speaks. He belongs to a world that is fading away. Gin is easily the strongest part of the story. He feels authentic. He says little, observes everything, and carries himself like someone who has survived far more than he cares to discuss. You don't explain his history through long paragraphs of exposition. Instead, readers learn who he is by watching him interact with bartenders, deputies, horses, children, and strangers. That is exactly how character should be revealed. I also like how you resist making him invincible. Yes, he wins the duel, but afterward he is wounded, exhausted, and completely dependent on the kindness of strangers. That immediately makes him more human. The Harlow family is another highlight. They don't feel like stock Western characters. They argue. They tease one another. Aspen has her own problems. John is polite without becoming unbelievable. Dutch is kind but imperfect. Mrs. Harlow feels like the emotional center of the household. Their conversations create the warmth that contrasts nicely with Gin's lonely life. One section that particularly impressed me was the salmon passage. It is beautifully written and serves as symbolism for Gin's struggle. My only concern is that it is much more literary than the surrounding chapters. Readers may wonder if they've suddenly entered a different novel. I actually like the passage, but I would consider shortening it by about twenty to thirty percent so it doesn't interrupt the momentum after the escape. Your dialogue is one of your strongest skills. Most conversations sound natural, especially between Gin and the townspeople. There are places where the dialogue tags could be simplified. Many lines don't need "he said" followed by an action because the action alone tells us who is speaking. Pacing is probably the biggest issue right now. This section contains enough material for several chapters, but scenes sometimes linger after they have accomplished their purpose. The medical treatment, the wagon ride, and several household conversations could each lose a little repetition without sacrificing character development. Tightening those scenes would make the story feel more confident. I would also be careful about repeating physical descriptions. Gin scratches his chin, sighs, nods, pauses, and stares quite often. Individually these work well, but over hundreds of pages readers will begin noticing the repetition. Varying his body language will make him feel even more real. Another strength is your sense of place. Oregon and Washington feel distinct without long descriptions. The rivers, forests, valleys, and weather all contribute naturally to the atmosphere. I could picture nearly every location. Perhaps the biggest compliment I can give is that I wanted to keep reading. That's more important than perfect grammar or polished prose. Rough drafts are supposed to discover the story. Yours already has an engaging protagonist, believable supporting characters, and a central conflict that promises a larger journey. If this were my manuscript, I would spend my next revision focusing almost entirely on tightening rather than expanding. The foundation is already there. I wouldn't add more scenes. I'd make each existing scene work a little harder by trimming repetition, sharpening transitions, and allowing the strongest moments to carry more emotional weight. Overall, I think you've built something with real potential. It has the feeling of a modern literary Western rather than an action novel, which is a refreshing direction. Gin is a character worth following, and the Harlow family gives readers a reason to become emotionally invested in what happens next. With careful revision, this could become a very memorable novel. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

10

10

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14 days may be credited.

#4876100

Review of Jatinga  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jul 23, 2026 at 10:17pm

Length:   3,167 Characters | 3,167 w/o WritingML

This poem creates a haunting and mysterious atmosphere from the opening lines. It immediately presents readers with an unsettling image of a bird that appears to have harmed itself, drawing attention through shock and curiosity. The title, "Jatinga," adds another layer of intrigue, especially for readers familiar with the village in India known for the mysterious phenomenon in which birds become disoriented and fly toward lights during certain times of the year. Even without that knowledge, the poem stands on its own as a meditation on misunderstanding and the way people often misread suffering. The strongest quality of the poem is its emotional progression. At first, the bird's strange behavior becomes a source of amusement for those watching. Their laughter feels uncomfortable because readers can already sense that something is terribly wrong. By the time the bird closes its eyes and dies, the earlier laughter takes on a much darker meaning. That shift encourages readers to think about how easily people judge what they do not understand. The poem also makes effective use of simple language. There is no elaborate vocabulary or complicated imagery. Instead, the straightforward wording allows the emotional impact to come from the events themselves. The repeated references to the bird's movements create a visual scene that is easy to imagine, and the final stanza provides a quiet ending that leaves readers reflecting on what they have witnessed. The poem's rhythm is generally steady, giving it the feel of a narrative ballad. The rhyme is subtle enough that it supports the reading without becoming distracting. This musical quality helps carry the reader from one stanza to the next. One area that could be improved is clarity. The opening image, "A bird that slit / By knife, its throat," is powerful but also confusing. Because birds do not use knives, readers may pause to determine whether this is meant literally, symbolically, or as a metaphor. If the goal is to reference the strange deaths associated with Jatinga, a slightly clearer description might preserve the mystery while reducing confusion. There are also a few lines where the grammar feels slightly awkward. For example, "Then looked like it, / Began to sway" interrupts the flow because the sentence structure is incomplete. A smoother phrasing could strengthen the rhythm without changing the meaning. Likewise, "What was that bird, / Trying to say" could be tightened slightly to make the emotional question even more direct. The poem's greatest strength is the message beneath the surface. It reminds readers that what appears foolish or entertaining from a distance may actually be a sign of confusion, pain, or distress. The observers laugh because they lack understanding, and only after the bird dies do they realize there was more happening than they recognized. Overall, "Jatinga" is a thoughtful and emotionally affecting poem. Its combination of mystery, sadness, and quiet social commentary makes it memorable. With a few adjustments for clarity and smoother phrasing, it could become even more powerful while preserving its haunting atmosph My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

11

11

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#4876099

Review of A Thanksgiving Remembered  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jul 23, 2026 at 10:14pm

Length:   2,939 Characters | 2,939 w/o WritingML

This poem succeeds because it captures a moment that feels genuine instead of sentimental. Rather than describing a perfect Thanksgiving gathering, it focuses on an uncomfortable memory that many readers can relate to. Family meals often bring unexpected moments where people are asked to speak without warning, and the poet uses that familiar situation to build quiet tension. The ending lands well because it does not explain the silence or tell readers what they should think. It simply lets the awkwardness speak for itself. The opening lines introduce an interesting contrast between pride and gratitude. "There's pride and there's gratitude" immediately invites readers to think about the difference between earning something and receiving it as a gift. The following lines continue that thought by suggesting that writing is one of those undeserved gifts. It is a reflective beginning that gives the poem a thoughtful tone before shifting into the Thanksgiving memory. The transition into the family gathering feels natural. The details about attending dinner with extended in laws and meeting many of them for the first time establish why the speaker would already feel a little uneasy. The description of everyone taking turns giving thanks increases that feeling. Most readers have experienced similar traditions, making the scene easy to picture. The strongest part of the poem is the final image. The speaker offers thanks for America and freedom, expecting those words to fit the occasion. Instead, the response is complete silence. The closing line, "The silence that followed was deafening," is a familiar expression, but here it fits the situation well because it captures the emotional weight of the moment. Readers are left wondering whether the family disagreed, was surprised, or simply did not know how to respond. That unanswered question gives the ending its power. The poem also benefits from its conversational language. Nothing feels forced or overly poetic. It reads like someone recalling an event years later and recognizing both the humor and discomfort of the experience. That natural voice makes the speaker believable. One area that could be strengthened is the opening section. While the thoughts about pride and gratitude are meaningful, the connection to the Thanksgiving story is not completely clear until later. A slightly smoother bridge between those ideas could make the poem flow even better. Also, the phrase "and so I am, as writing's in there" feels more abstract than the rest of the poem. A clearer expression of that idea might make the opening stronger. Overall, this is a memorable free verse poem that finds meaning in an ordinary family gathering. It balances reflection, humor, and discomfort without becoming dramatic. The ending lingers because it trusts readers to interpret the silence for themselves, making the experience feel authentic rather than manufactured My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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14 days may be credited.

#4875048

Review of Anatomy of Aftermath  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jul 12, 2026 at 8:36am

Length:   6,312 Characters | 6,312 w/o WritingML

This collection reads less like a series of individual poems and more like a single emotional journey. Each section builds on the one before it, taking the reader from shock and disorientation through grief and finally toward quiet resilience. Rather than relying on dramatic moments, the poems find their strength in ordinary experiences. That choice makes the work feel honest and relatable. One of the collection's greatest strengths is its consistency. Every poem shares the same reflective voice, similar rhythm, and grounded language. Because of that, the reader never feels pulled out of the experience. The progression from "The Scorch" to "Unshakeable Form" feels natural, almost like chapters in a memoir written in verse. "The Scorch" is an especially effective opening. The idea of life dividing itself into "before" and "after" is something many readers who have experienced trauma will recognize immediately. The lines, "I keep it not because I want the pain, But because forgetting feels like lying again." are among the strongest in the collection. They express a difficult truth without becoming sentimental. "The Sudden Gravity" captures the physical experience of shock remarkably well. The poem understands that trauma is often felt by the body before the mind has caught up. The repeated emphasis on suddenness reinforces that experience without becoming repetitive. "Stark Horizon" contains some beautiful imagery. The empty landscape becomes both a literal and emotional setting. The line about setting one more chair for someone who is not coming back is especially moving because it connects an ordinary action with profound loss. "The Language of Fracture" may be one of the most emotionally accessible poems in the collection. Nearly everyone has struggled to explain pain they could not fully understand themselves. The closing reassurance, "Give it time. The language comes back. It will." offers hope without pretending recovery is simple. The second act continues that honesty. "The Weight of Gray" effectively captures depression after trauma. The description never becomes overly dramatic. Instead, it focuses on everyday tasks becoming overwhelming, which often reflects real experience more accurately than larger emotional declarations. "A Sieve for Memory" introduces one of the collection's strongest metaphors. Comparing memory to a sieve is fresh and memorable. Rather than suggesting memories disappear, it suggests they are sorted over time, with some remaining while others fall away. That image fits the emotional arc beautifully. "Negative Space" is noticeably shorter than the surrounding poems. Its brevity creates a pause within the collection, almost allowing readers to breathe before continuing. However, it also feels somewhat underdeveloped. Because every other section explores its idea fully, this one feels more like the beginning of a poem than a complete piece. Expanding it slightly could strengthen the transition between sections. "Skeletal Sparks" is one of the most hopeful poems in the collection. Instead of presenting healing as a dramatic breakthrough, it begins with an unexpected laugh. That small moment feels believable. Recovery is rarely dramatic, and this poem understands that. The final act is perhaps the strongest section overall. "The Scaffold" uses construction imagery effectively without overextending the metaphor. Building life one small task at a time mirrors the emotional rebuilding taking place. "Quiet Reconstruction" continues one of the collection's recurring ideas that healing often arrives unnoticed. The realization that recovery can happen quietly is comforting because it removes the pressure to recognize dramatic milestones. "What the Ash Forgives" handles forgiveness with maturity. Rather than suggesting forgiveness excuses past harm, it frames it as releasing the burden of carrying anger forever. That distinction gives the poem emotional credibility. The closing poem, "Unshakeable Form," provides a satisfying conclusion. It avoids presenting the speaker as completely healed or invincible. Instead, strength is defined as continuing despite previous brokenness. That ending feels earned because every preceding poem has built toward it. There are a few areas that could be strengthened. One recurring habit is the reliance on direct explanatory statements. Phrases such as "Nobody tells you..." and "I'm learning..." appear several times throughout the collection. They are effective individually, but because they recur so often, they begin to sound predictable. Varying those transitions would give each poem a more distinct voice while maintaining the overall style. Similarly, many poems end by explicitly stating their central idea. Sometimes the imagery has already communicated the message clearly enough. Allowing certain poems to end on an image rather than an explanation could leave an even stronger emotional impression. There are also a couple of small editing issues. In "The Weight of Gray," the opening line reads, "I answering texts for a week or two." It appears to be missing the word "stopped." The title "Un-shakeable Form" should also be corrected to "Unshakeable Form," since the standard spelling does not include a hyphen. One of the most impressive qualities of this collection is its restraint. It never reaches for melodrama. Instead, it finds meaning in making the bed, answering messages, sorting photographs, laughing unexpectedly, and simply getting through another day. Those ordinary moments become symbols of survival because they are presented with honesty rather than exaggeration. Overall, this collection succeeds because it trusts quiet moments. It reminds readers that healing is rarely dramatic. More often, it is built one ordinary choice at a time. The emotional progression feels authentic, the imagery is memorable without becoming overly ornate, and the speaker's voice remains consistent from beginning to end. With a little more variation in phrasing and a few minor edits, this would become an even stronger and more polished collection. It is the kind of work that readers who have experienced loss or major life changes are likely to connect with on a deeply personal level. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4875047

Review of War of Words  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jul 12, 2026 at 8:34am

Length:   2,964 Characters | 2,964 w/o WritingML

This is a short poem, but it carries surprising weight. In only three lines, it creates a vivid image of conflict and then overturns it with an unexpected act of kindness. That contrast gives the poem its power. Instead of ending with violence or anger, it suggests that a single sincere compliment can accomplish what endless insults never could. The title, "War of Words," immediately prepares the reader for verbal conflict. It fits the poem well because every line builds on the idea that language can become a weapon. The first line, "Machine-gun chatter of obloquy," is especially striking. Comparing harsh criticism to machine-gun fire is an effective metaphor. The word "obloquy" is uncommon, but it is used correctly. It means strong public criticism or verbal abuse, making it an appropriate choice for the poem's theme. Readers who know the word will appreciate its precision, while others may pause to look it up. Whether that is a strength depends on your intended audience. The second line continues the military imagery with "abusive bullets rend the air." This extends the metaphor naturally. The word "rend" is strong because it suggests tearing or ripping apart rather than simply passing through the air. The language remains consistent, keeping the poem focused on the destructive nature of hostile speech. The final line is the poem's emotional turning point: "silenced by a compliment." This ending is simple, yet it carries the greatest impact. After building an image of relentless verbal warfare, the poem suggests that kindness has greater strength than cruelty. It avoids sounding preachy because it states the idea plainly and lets the contrast do the work. One aspect worth considering is the vocabulary. Both "obloquy" and "rend" are elevated words. While they fit the tone, they also create a formal style that contrasts with the straightforward ending. If your goal is accessibility, replacing "obloquy" with a more familiar word like "insults" or "abuse" would make the poem easier to understand immediately. On the other hand, if you enjoy using rich vocabulary and expect readers who appreciate it, there is no need to change it. From a structural standpoint, the poem is balanced. The progression from attack to resolution feels complete despite its brevity. The 9-8-7 syllable pattern is a nice technical touch, though most readers will notice the imagery before they notice the syllable count. The free verse format also suits the subject, allowing the language to flow naturally without forcing a rhyme scheme. Overall, this is an effective minimalist poem. It demonstrates that a poem does not need to be long to leave an impression. Its strongest qualities are its clear central metaphor, disciplined structure, and hopeful ending. With only three lines, it manages to say something meaningful about the power of language and the possibility that compassion can end conflicts that hostility only prolongs. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4875046

Review of The Mask  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jul 12, 2026 at 8:31am

Length:   3,805 Characters | 3,805 w/o WritingML

This is a strong psychological horror piece with an emotional core. The opening immediately establishes the narrator's insecurity, and the ending creates a disturbing cycle that fits the story's theme. The idea that beauty becomes a prison instead of freedom is memorable, and the final reveal gives readers something to think about after they finish. The biggest strength is the narrator's voice. The self hatred feels genuine instead of exaggerated. Lines like, "I just wanted to smile without feeling ashamed of myself," are heartbreaking because they reveal that the character is not chasing beauty out of vanity but out of a desperate need to feel accepted. That emotional motivation makes the horror much more effective. The pacing is also handled well. The first half is quiet and reflective before the supernatural elements suddenly take over. The transition from longing to terror happens quickly, which creates a shocking contrast. The image of the mask tightening around the narrator's head is vivid and uncomfortable without becoming overly graphic. There are a few places where the writing could be smoother. The first sentence says, "The world is filled with gorgeous girls." While it works, it feels a little broad. Starting with the narrator's personal experience might create a stronger emotional connection. "The room is void of life" is a bit vague. You could describe the silence, stale air, or empty walls to help readers picture the setting. The line, "The last time I looked at myself I looked like a washed up goat on a good day," feels slightly out of place because it introduces humor into an otherwise serious tone. If that was intentional, it works as self deprecating humor. If not, choosing a different comparison would keep the mood consistent. The sentence, "The room seemed to have heard my desires," is a nice transition, but "responded to my thoughts" or "answered my wish" might sound a little more natural. One point that could be clearer is the note. It says it was placed "on top of an encrypted message," but the encrypted message is never mentioned again. That detail makes readers expect another mystery that never pays off. Unless the encrypted message becomes important later, I would remove it. The ending is excellent, but it moves so quickly that readers barely have time to understand what happened. You establish that the narrator is trapped inside the mirror and then immediately reveal that the beautiful woman is creating another room before the mirror is shattered. Slowing those final moments would make the horror even more powerful. Let the narrator realize they are trapped. Let them recognize the woman. Then reveal that she is continuing the cycle. Finally, end with the mirror breaking. There are also a few small grammar and style issues. "Being stunning meant freedom; it would give me the perfect life I have always envisioned." This reads better as: "Being stunning meant freedom. It would give me the perfect life I had always imagined." "It clamps down on my skull." Because everything before it is written in past tense, this should probably be: "It clamped down on my skull." Similarly, "I look at a mirror." should become "I looked at a mirror." Keeping the tense consistent helps the reader stay immersed. The final sentence is wonderfully unsettling: "I am in the mirror, and I am her. But as she looks at her reflection she breaks it and I am shattered with it." This is the strongest image in the story because it suggests an endless cycle of people sacrificing themselves for beauty only to become trapped forever. Overall, I would rate this story 8.5 out of 10. Its greatest strengths are its emotional honesty, creepy atmosphere, and memorable ending. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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14 days may be credited.

#4873786

Review of Insert title here  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 28, 2026 at 8:02pm

Length:   2,989 Characters | 2,989 w/o WritingML

This poem is deeply philosophical, asking readers to think about existence, love, illusion, and awakening rather than following a traditional narrative. It feels more like a meditation than a story, and its strength lies in its willingness to leave room for interpretation. Some readers will connect with its spiritual tone immediately, while others may need to read it several times before its meaning begins to settle. The opening stanza is the most abstract. The phrase "a breath bereft of breath" immediately creates a paradox that catches the reader's attention. It suggests something trying to exist after life has already departed. The repeated contrast between the known, the unknown, illusion, and infinity gives the poem an almost mystical quality. While these ideas are intriguing, they also make this section difficult to grasp on a first reading. There is a fine line between mystery and confusion, and this stanza occasionally leans toward the latter. That may be intentional, but a slightly stronger thread connecting one thought to the next could help readers stay grounded. The second stanza shifts into a much more accessible message. The declaration that "We have all been lied to" is bold and immediately draws the reader in. From there, the poem argues that love exists independently of hate and that love requires nothing outside itself. This is where the poem feels most confident. The lines, "Love does not need anything Love just is" are simple, memorable, and carry genuine emotional power. Sometimes the most effective philosophical statements are also the simplest, and these lines accomplish that beautifully. The comparison of love to "two breathless thoughts" is particularly interesting. It gives love a timeless quality, suggesting that it exists before explanation and beyond physical existence. It fits naturally with the poem's larger exploration of consciousness and being. The final three lines provide a satisfying conclusion. The image of awakening with one's eyes open in darkness is striking because it reverses expectations. Normally awakening is associated with light, but here darkness becomes the place where true sight begins. It leaves the reader with a lingering image that invites reflection long after the poem ends. One suggestion would be to examine whether every abstract phrase earns its complexity. A few sections rely on layered concepts that may distance readers instead of drawing them in. Simplifying just one or two of those passages could actually strengthen the poem's philosophical impact by allowing its central ideas to shine more clearly. Overall, this is an ambitious piece that explores profound questions rather than offering answers. It trusts readers to wrestle with its ideas and rewards those willing to spend time with it. Its strongest moments come when its language becomes both simple and universal, allowing its reflections on love and awakening to resonate on a deeply personal level. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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14 days may be credited.

#4873784

Review of Boulevard  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 28, 2026 at 7:59pm

Length:   2,926 Characters | 2,926 w/o WritingML

This poem carries a heavy emotional weight in a very small space. It tells a story through moments instead of explanations, and that choice makes the grief feel immediate. Rather than describing tragedy directly, it lets ordinary details do the work. A basketball game, a mother cooking, a little girl's excitement, a church service, and a bedroom left untouched all become symbols of lives interrupted. Those familiar images make the loss much more personal. The first stanza does an excellent job of creating a neighborhood that feels alive. The opening image of basketball in the evening sun is warm and hopeful, while the sound of gunshots beneath it quietly warns the reader that danger is never far away. Tanya immediately becomes the emotional center of the poem. Her bouncing braids and admiration for her brother paint a vivid picture of childhood innocence. The promise that he will teach her to play basketball is heartbreaking because the reader instinctively understands that promise will never be fulfilled. The second stanza delivers the emotional turn with restraint. The image of the tiny pink Dora backpack resting on the altar is perhaps the strongest image in the poem. It says everything without needing to describe the funeral in detail. The cootie catcher tucked inside is another wonderful touch because it reminds the reader that Tanya was still just a child. The line "she reunited with Pops" suggests another layer of family loss without overexplaining it. The closing line, "boys in Blue make streets run red," is powerful and confrontational. Whether readers agree with its perspective or not, it lands with force because it follows such intimate personal imagery. The final stanza is equally effective. The untouched bedroom is a familiar symbol of grief, but the details surrounding it feel fresh. The hair clips tied around Ma's wrist create a striking visual of a mother physically carrying a piece of her daughter wherever she goes. The final image of the brother returning home bloodied from a protest expands the poem beyond one tragedy, showing how grief can continue to shape a family's future. The closing line, "Ma can't lose no one else," is a simple but devastating ending that feels completely earned. If there is one place I might consider strengthening, it would be the transition between the basketball court and the church. The jump is intentionally abrupt, but perhaps one additional image hinting at what happened could make the emotional shift even more seamless without sacrificing the poem's subtlety. Overall, this is a memorable piece because it trusts the reader. It avoids long explanations and instead relies on carefully chosen details that linger after the poem ends. The strongest poetry often leaves readers carrying its images with them, and this poem accomplishes exactly that through Tanya's backpack, her braids, and a mother's refusal to let go. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4873447

Review of A New Disease  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 25, 2026 at 3:35pm

Length:   2,771 Characters | 2,771 w/o WritingML

This poem is a lighthearted take on the stress that comes with tax season. Rather than treating taxes as a financial subject, it turns them into a fictional illness called "Taxitis," which is a clever concept. Almost everyone who has struggled through tax forms can relate to the feeling that preparing taxes is physically exhausting, so the idea has broad appeal. The strongest part of the poem is its humor. Lines such as "My neck is tight," "My fingers are numb," and "A doctor can't help" exaggerate the physical symptoms just enough to make the reader smile. The poem captures the feeling that tax preparation can leave someone mentally and physically drained. The repeated phrase "Taxitis outcome!" gives the poem a chant-like quality. It acts as a refrain that ties the stanzas together and reinforces the central joke. Repetition works well in humorous poetry because it builds anticipation, and here it reminds the reader that every problem somehow leads back to the dreaded tax return. The poem also has a nice progression. It begins with physical discomfort, moves into anxiety, then reaches worries about the IRS. That escalation feels natural and keeps the reader engaged. The final stanza shifts from symptoms to the source of the stress, bringing the joke full circle. There are a few places where the wording could be strengthened. The phrase "Taxitis outcome!" appears several times, but it is a little unclear. If "Taxitis" is the disease, the refrain might be stronger as "Taxitis strikes!" or simply "Taxitis!" If you want to keep the word "outcome," consider making the connection clearer. The last stanza contains a small inconsistency: "Is there a solution that helps me From taxis outcome?" I suspect "taxis" is a typo and should be "Taxitis." Also, the phrase could flow more naturally as "Is there a solution that saves me from Taxitis?" or "Is there a cure for Taxitis?" That would provide a stronger ending. The rhythm is simple and conversational, which suits the humorous tone. It is easy to read aloud, although a few lines have different syllable counts that interrupt the flow slightly. A little polishing could make the rhythm more consistent without losing the casual style. One thing I especially like is that the poem never becomes mean spirited. It pokes fun at a shared experience rather than complaining. That makes it approachable and relatable for readers who have wrestled with tax forms themselves. Overall, this is a fun, witty poem built around a creative premise. The idea of turning tax season into a medical condition is memorable, and the exaggerated symptoms make the humor easy to appreciate. With a few small revisions for clarity, consistency, and rhythm, it could become even stronger. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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14 days may be credited.

#4873445

Review of A RACCOON IS NOTHING BUT TROUBLE  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 25, 2026 at 3:32pm

Length:   3,024 Characters | 3,024 w/o WritingML

This is an entertaining poem that feels like a story someone is sharing around a campfire or at a family gathering. It has a playful voice, a clear narrative, and enough vivid details to keep the reader smiling from beginning to end. The humor comes from the escalating chaos rather than forced jokes, which makes it feel genuine. The strongest feature is the storytelling. The poem follows a simple sequence of events that is easy to follow. It begins with mysterious noises in the chimney, builds through the increasingly frantic attempts to remove the raccoon, reaches a satisfying climax when the animal finally escapes, and ends by returning to the opening refrain. That circular structure gives the poem a sense of completion and reinforces its central message that raccoons bring trouble wherever they go. The imagery is another highlight. Phrases like "A skitter, a chuffle, snuffles, thumps" immediately create sound and movement. The line about the dogs having "their fur stuck straight up on their rumps" is especially funny because it paints such a vivid picture. Later, the description of a "black raccoon soot cloud" bursting into the room captures the confusion perfectly. Readers can almost see the dust, hear the barking, and imagine people stumbling over furniture while trying to catch one determined raccoon. The rhythm flows well throughout most of the poem. It has the feel of a humorous ballad, making it enjoyable to read aloud. The repeated opening and closing stanza works well because it frames the adventure and gives readers something memorable to take away. There are a few places where the wording could be tightened. The line "Large waves with long nets" seems out of place. I suspect you intended "Large swings with long nets," which better matches the action taking place. That single word would make the scene much clearer. Likewise, "The raccoon scooted out on a rug" is amusing, but it made me pause. Did the raccoon slide across a rug, or simply run over one? A slightly clearer description could strengthen the ending of that scene. The invented exclamation, "Frickety frack fricks!" fits the lighthearted tone and avoids harsher language, making the poem suitable for a wide audience. It feels like something a startled adult might blurt out in front of a child. One of the poem's greatest strengths is that it never takes itself too seriously. The narrator remains a child caught in the middle of adult panic, which gives the events a charming perspective. Even though the situation is chaotic, the poem stays fun instead of frightening. If I were editing it, I would mainly focus on smoothing a few phrases for rhythm and clarity while preserving the playful voice. The heart of the poem is already strong, and overediting could take away some of its personality. Overall, this is a delightful narrative poem with memorable imagery, effective repetition, and genuine humor. It tells a complete story in just over 250 words and leaves the reader with a smile. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4872833

Review of A Parent Is Guide  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 18, 2026 at 10:36pm

Length:   2,685 Characters | 2,685 w/o WritingML

This poem is a heartfelt reflection on parenthood, focusing on the lifelong bond between parent and child. Its message is warm, encouraging, and full of affection, celebrating both the responsibilities and rewards of raising children. The poem reminds readers that while children eventually grow into independent adults, the love and guidance of a parent remain with them throughout their lives. One of the poem's greatest strengths is its sincerity. The speaker clearly values the role of a parent and presents it as both a privilege and a calling. Lines such as "Faithful ever present kindness, stand tall" and "Know that they hold your love in truth and trust" communicate a deep belief in the importance of steady support and unconditional love. The emotional core feels genuine, which helps the poem connect with readers who have experienced either side of the parent-child relationship. The poem also benefits from its optimistic tone. There is no bitterness or regret here. Instead, the focus remains on growth, guidance, and continuity. The second quatrain captures this especially well, acknowledging that children will move forward into their own lives while still carrying the lessons and affection given to them by their parents. This balance between letting go and remaining connected is one of the poem's most meaningful themes. Structurally, the poem resembles a sonnet, consisting of fourteen lines with a concluding couplet-like ending. The use of rhyme provides a sense of musicality, though some rhymes flow more naturally than others. The poet clearly values form and rhythm, and that effort gives the piece a traditional feel that suits its timeless subject matter. There are a few places where the wording could be smoothed out for greater clarity. For example, "They will bring forth that gem without moan" feels slightly awkward compared to the otherwise natural language of the poem. Similarly, the final line, "Your child will grow up exponentially," communicates growth effectively but introduces a more technical word that stands apart from the poem's otherwise emotional and personal vocabulary. The strongest aspect of the poem is its universal message. Nearly every reader can relate to the idea of being guided by a parent, becoming a parent, or reflecting on family relationships. The poem captures the enduring nature of parental love and the hope that children will carry that love into future generations. Overall, this is a warm and uplifting poem that honors the lasting influence of parents. Its themes are timeless, its emotions are authentic, and its hopeful outlook leaves the reader with a sense of comfort and appreciation. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4872832

Review of A Just Reaction - Vibrancy and Heartache  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 18, 2026 at 10:32pm

Length:   2,503 Characters | 2,503 w/o WritingML

This poem feels like a blend of social commentary, political observation, and philosophical reflection. Rather than telling a straightforward story, it presents a series of images and ideas that encourage the reader to think about modern society, racial tensions, institutional power, and the possibility of social progress. One of the poem's strongest qualities is its ambitious scope. It moves from commerce and consumer culture in the opening stanza to issues of justice, race, law enforcement, and ultimately a vision of a future society. The writer is clearly attempting to connect individual experiences with larger social systems, which gives the work intellectual depth. The opening section creates an interesting contrast between business and humanity. Lines such as "The cardboard displays, A business of choice" and "The human streets" suggest a world where commercial interests and everyday life are intertwined. The language is somewhat abstract, but it creates an atmosphere of modern society operating beneath a surface of politeness and order. The middle section is the emotional center of the poem. Here, the imagery becomes more urgent and politically charged. References to "racial embodiment," "horror and tears," and people who "must no longer wear a badge" point toward concerns about racial injustice and abuses of authority. These lines carry genuine emotional weight because they address real social conflicts without becoming overly specific or preachy. One aspect that stands out is the poet's vocabulary. Words such as "disgorging," "carnality," "preemptive," and "socio-economic" create a sophisticated tone. At times, however, the language becomes so dense that it can obscure meaning. Some readers may struggle to follow the exact connections between images and ideas. A few more concrete details could make the poem's message more accessible while preserving its intellectual character. The final stanza offers a sense of cautious optimism. After exploring conflict and injustice, the poem turns toward the possibility of a better future. The idea of a "futuristic community on the not-too-distant horizon" suggests that progress remains possible despite present challenges. Overall, this is a thoughtful and intellectually ambitious poem. Its strengths lie in its social awareness, powerful themes, and willingness to tackle difficult issues. While some passages may be too abstract for certain readers, the poem rewards careful reading and reflection. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4872831

Review of Black  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 18, 2026 at 10:29pm

Length:   2,335 Characters | 2,335 w/o WritingML

This is a dark, emotionally heavy poem that explores despair, guilt, fate, and the feeling of being consumed by forces beyond one's control. The repeated use of "Black" works as both a refrain and a symbol. It becomes a living presence throughout the poem, representing depression, death, hopelessness, or perhaps a lifetime of accumulated pain. One of the poem's greatest strengths is its atmosphere. From the opening lines, there is a sense of dread that never lets up. Phrases such as "The pointed end of every truth like a spear into this heart" create vivid emotional imagery. The reader can feel the speaker's suffering rather than simply being told about it. That emotional honesty gives the poem much of its power. The repetition of "Black" is effective because it acts like a tolling bell throughout the piece. Every time it appears, it reinforces the central theme and reminds the reader that everything returns to this darkness. The technique creates rhythm and structure while also deepening the sense of inevitability. The poem also succeeds in portraying internal conflict. The speaker seems caught between understanding and resistance. Lines like "Not knowing while understanding why this is happening" reveal a complex emotional state that feels authentic. There is a struggle between acceptance and fear that runs throughout the work. A few sections could benefit from tighter wording. Some ideas are repeated multiple times, especially in the later stanzas where the approach of the darkness is described again and again. While repetition is clearly part of the poem's design, trimming a few similar phrases might make the strongest images stand out even more. The ending works well because it leaves the reader with a feeling of finality. The phrase "Within this frantic something that I call my life" is particularly strong because it contrasts existence against the nothingness that has dominated the poem. Overall, "Black" is a powerful free verse poem that captures the experience of overwhelming darkness with conviction and intensity. Its strongest qualities are its atmosphere, emotional honesty, and consistent symbolism. While some condensation could sharpen certain sections, the poem succeeds in creating a haunting portrait of a mind confronting what it believes is an unavoidable fate. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4872233

Review of Kill Code  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 13, 2026 at 2:43pm

Length:   3,172 Characters | 3,172 w/o WritingML

This is a strong opening chapter. It immediately establishes the setting, the danger, and the central conflict. The story feels like a blend of techno thriller, mystery, and suspense, and it does a good job creating the feeling that something terrible is about to happen. The ending leaves readers wanting to know what triggered the Level Seven alert, which is exactly what an opening chapter should accomplish. The strongest part of the chapter is the atmosphere. The description of Wolf Creek Basin and the hidden laboratory creates a believable secret government facility. The security checkpoints, underground elevators, and sterile hallways help establish a sense of isolation and danger. The setting feels real enough that readers can picture it clearly. The opening also does a good job introducing Alex Stoddard as a narrator. He sounds intelligent, experienced, and worried, which makes him a suitable guide into this world. The concept of DNA targeting nanobots is interesting because it raises serious ethical questions while providing a unique threat. The idea that a weapon can kill specific individuals without leaving obvious evidence creates a chilling sense of vulnerability. Readers can easily understand why Alex is so concerned about the project. Emily Woodward also makes a strong first impression. Her growing fear about her own creation adds emotional weight and makes the story more than just a technology thriller. One area that could be improved is the amount of exposition. Much of the chapter is devoted to explaining how the nanobots work. While the information is important, some readers may feel that the story pauses for long stretches while Alex explains the science. You might consider breaking up some of that information with more character interaction, laboratory activity, or small demonstrations of the technology in action. This would keep the pacing moving while still delivering the necessary details. Another improvement would be giving Alex a more personal stake. Right now, his concern is professional and ethical. If readers learned that someone he cared about could become a target, or if he had a personal reason for fearing the technology, the emotional connection would become even stronger. The title "Kill Code" fits the story well. It is short, memorable, and suggests both technology and death. The final alarm sequence is very effective and serves as a strong hook into Chapter Two. Readers will naturally want to know what escaped, who is responsible, and whether the nanobots have already been released. What works well: • Strong suspense and atmosphere • Interesting scientific concept • Clear and engaging narrator • Effective chapter ending • Good sense of scale and danger What could be stronger: • Reduce some exposition sections • Add more character interaction • Give Alex a deeper personal connection to the threat • Introduce a small mystery earlier in the chapter This has the foundation of a compelling thriller series. The premise is strong enough to support a full novel, and the ending successfully encourages readers to continue to the next chapter. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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14 days may be credited.

#4872204

Review of The Virtual Woman  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 13, 2026 at 12:35pm

Length:   2,870 Characters | 2,870 w/o WritingML

This is a haunting and atmospheric poem that leans heavily on mood, imagery, and emotional isolation rather than narrative. The piece creates the feeling of someone trapped between reality and longing, with the title, "The Virtual Woman," suggesting a person who exists in a space that is somehow disconnected from genuine human experience. The poem feels dreamlike, almost as if the reader is observing fragments of thought rather than a continuous story. One of the strongest aspects is the recurring storm imagery. The opening and closing lines frame the poem with distant thunder and rain against a windowpane, creating a circular structure. The storm functions as more than weather. It mirrors the emotional state of the woman. The thunder suggests anxiety and unrest, while the tapping rain becomes a quiet reminder of separation and loneliness. The repetition at the end gives the sense that nothing has changed. The woman remains trapped in the same emotional space where she began. The imagery involving the woman herself is vivid and vulnerable. Descriptions of her posture, her pale neck, and her silken hair create a strong visual presence. Yet despite the physical details, she remains emotionally distant. The line about "paths not chosen" is especially effective because it hints at regret and lost opportunities without directly explaining them. Readers are left to imagine what choices led her to this state. The poem's language often feels fragmented. The repeated use of asterisks and short phrases creates a rhythm similar to flashes of thought or memory. This style supports the theme of isolation because the reader experiences the woman's emotions in pieces rather than in complete statements. At times, however, the fragmentation becomes so heavy that meaning is slightly obscured. A few sections could benefit from clearer connections between images to strengthen the emotional impact. Several phrases stand out, particularly "fingers of fright ascend into her mind" and "quietness of endurance." These expressions communicate fear and suffering in fresh, memorable ways. The poem excels when it blends emotional states with physical sensations. The ending is particularly powerful. The shift from "seeing in" at the beginning to "seeing out" at the conclusion suggests a change in perspective, yet the final image of the "virtual exposed woman" leaves the reader with the sense that she remains isolated despite her search. Overall, this poem succeeds as an exploration of loneliness, desire, fear, and emotional confinement. Its greatest strength is the atmosphere it creates. The reader may not know every detail of the woman's situation, but they can feel her longing, her vulnerability, and her inability to find what she seeks. I would rate it 8.5 out of 10 for its evocative imagery, emotional depth, and memorable mood. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4871281

Review of Rejected  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 6, 2026 at 6:14pm

Length:   1,833 Characters | 1,833 w/o WritingML

This poem has a lot of intensity and emotional weight, and it’s clearly trying to capture the cyclical and often harsh nature of life and struggle. The use of a structured rhyme scheme (ABABCCB) gives it rhythm, which helps guide the reader through the darker imagery and existential themes. The repeated contrasts—innocence versus struggle, dreams versus fate, and life versus death give the poem a sense of relentless tension, which fits the title Rejected well. The first stanza effectively introduces the cyclical concept with lines like “Season, as per season, changing along, / then to number one goes the frozen heart.” It conveys a sense of repetition, inevitability, and emotional coldness. “Encircling circle” and “A daily Hurdle” are memorable phrases, but the capitalization and phrasing feel slightly abrupt; smoothing them into the flow could make the stanza more seamless. The second stanza has strong imagery, particularly “Dead, yet keeping the shoot on battling grounds,” which conveys perseverance even in defeat. However, phrases like “A confused blind and poor, crowded by the sounds” are vivid but a bit clunky grammatically—reordering could clarify the meaning and strengthen the impact. The final stanza drives home the theme of ultimate release or peace, culminating in “Only then, the life of Life will be won.” It’s a striking conclusion, though the transition from rejection and suffering to this final triumph could be made a touch smoother to maximize emotional payoff. Overall, the poem’s strength lies in its bold imagery, emotional honesty, and structured rhyme. It could benefit from minor tweaks to grammar, word choice, and flow, but the emotional resonance and reflective tone are strong. It’s a raw, contemplative piece that lingers after reading. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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14 days may be credited.

#4871280

Review of Underwater Life  

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 6, 2026 at 6:10pm

Length:   2,104 Characters | 2,104 w/o WritingML

This is a short flash fiction piece that succeeds in creating curiosity and quickly placing the reader in an interesting setting. The opening question, “What is it like underwater?” immediately draws readers in because it taps into a sense of wonder. The dialogue-driven approach also keeps the pace moving, which is important in a very short story. The strongest aspect of the piece is the ending. The protagonist dismisses the possibility of the submarine flooding, only to hear running water moments later. That final detail creates tension and gives the story an effective twist. It leaves readers imagining what might happen next without requiring a lengthy explanation. The setting is another positive element. The description of the ocean floor, fish swimming around, and the mention of sharks and giant squids helps establish the underwater environment quickly. Even though the story is only around one hundred words, readers can picture the scene. There are a few areas that could be improved. Some dialogue feels slightly unnatural. For example, "One place none-existing on land" is awkwardly phrased and could be revised to something smoother such as, "A world that doesn't exist on land." Similarly, "Wait here- okay?" could be simplified to sound more conversational. The narration could also benefit from clearer punctuation and sentence structure. For instance: "Diving below the surface a submarine with small windows headed for the ocean floor." might read more smoothly as: "Diving below the surface, the submarine with its small windows descended toward the ocean floor." The phrase "Most impossible thing would be this sub flooding" is interesting because it reveals the character's confidence, but rewording it slightly could strengthen the impact: "The last thing he expected was for the submarine to flood." Overall, this is an engaging micro-story with a solid setup and a suspenseful ending. The concept is strong, and with a little polishing of the dialogue and sentence structure, it could become an even more effective piece of flash fiction. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .