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232 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of The Fourth Child  
Rated: E | (4.0)
That's a fascinating story but in high need of some very good editing.
Please use some editing tools or read it aloud. It would help a lot.
2
2
Review of Planet Redd Z  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Blueflowers,

*Rolling* My first reaction...

It felt like reading an extract from some children's book because of the narrative, much opposed to the serious prompt. And there was very less science involved in this fiction other than the fact that the characters were from another world.
Well, they even had a 'happily ever after' ending too.

On a serious note, we all should learn from it. To live together and share is the only way to keep our Earth free of darkness, smoke and debris.

Thank you for sharing your piece. It had life lessons under the cover of funny narration. Don't know if that was intended.

Keep writing...

Rima
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Caught  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Scary one... One point to note..
Yes!” Pit said, “I got : Jeremy said, not Pit.
4
4
Review of You Look Familiar  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Kathy,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:

Found it on the dashboard and being a flash, caught my attention.

*DropY* My favorites parts:

Obviously the end.

*DropB* Characters:
Allie gained confidence by loosing weight while Jake got a reality check.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :

The storyline is quite simple running in a straight line.

*DropR* Action/Flow :

All the actions are in the words. Its easy to follow even when the story peeks into the past.
You have a smooth writing style that's easy to read and follow.

*DropV* Ending:
As I said, I loved the ending. It's well deserved.

*DropG* Overall impression:

Over all I loved it. You have asked how to expand it into a short story. I would love to see her past, the time she had spent with Jake, her reactions after the breakup. And may be how Jake reacts to new Allie.


I am sure this would take the story to another level.

*Drop* A few Typos:

The little typos:

familiar” He said: familiar,” he said
What type of work do you do?: Should be in quotes
morning.” I : morning,” I
because he could believe: because he could not believe

Keep writing....

With lots of *Heart*
*Shield1*Rima: Back To Work


Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstB* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group SuperPower... Review *BurstB*

5
5
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is not really a review but a way of sharing my thoughts that I had after reading this piece...
Reading it had been an eye opening experience. It shattered a lot of believes that people has of places they only see in maps or hear about in news.

I had to sit quietly for a while taking it all in. I can't event begin to fathom the hardship you had to be through.

Thank you for sharing this experience.
Hope you are doing okay now.

With LOTS of love...
Rima
6
6
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello John,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*



*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
The name was interesting and the tag line too. Seeing the size, I was encouraged to read on.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the simplicity with which you wrote the piece. There was no over the top business yet you got your points around. Most of it was reality which we choose to ignore.

*DropB* Characters:
The story itself gave the characters a body. You didn't need many words to bring them to life. One could relate to them, think them as real. You also make the reader realize how hard a policeman's job is. Dealing with such crisis day in and day out is psychologically difficult.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The story is just another story from newspaper but yet you made it interesting to read on.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The story moved smoothly except for the first few lines where you have probably used police specific language. *Smile*

*DropV* Ending:
The ending is thought provoking especially the Author's note. Is there a solution, I wonder.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall I liked your story. It was well written and easy to follow. Keep it up.

*Drop* A few Typos:
A few points I would like you to look into.
He studying me: He studied me
who’d seen what she’s witnessed tonight? Do seeing and witnessing required together?


Keep up the good work...

Happy Writing *Quill* !!!

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
*Shield1* Rima: Back To Work
*BurstB* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Super Power review... *BurstB*

7
7
Review of Misbelief  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Skeyler,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
Found it in the read and review list.


*DropG* Overall impression:
Over all the story was good with potential.
First point. Please change the font type. The current type hurts the eyes. A simple font with double spacing would be great.
Second point. Why is one of the genre 'Dark'. This could be clearly be a romantic story. There were no horror or dread in it.
Third Point. Do set up your bio and portfolio. It helps the reader to know you better. *Smile*


*DropY* My favorites parts:
The idea was good.


*DropB* Characters:
The characters need development. Most of them don't have description, except for probably, Faye. I had a hard time putting an age to the protagonist. This is a single story I guess, not a part of a series. If that's so people's background would help. The characters need to raise sympathy from the reader. Only then would they find them interesting.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The story line is good but it can be better. The things that are missing are drama and suspense. Even the simple stories need suspense. Its needed to keep the reader glued to the piece.
One more thing. Use a new line for each dialogue.


*DropV* Ending:
The ending was a positive and happy ending. Like it.


*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed but then again it was hard to read.


Keep writing!!! C U around...

With lots of *Heart*
*Shield1*Rima: Back To Work


Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstB* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group SuperPower... Review *BurstB*

8
8
Review of Other Ways  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Jonnigrl,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
It was a random pick and found it listed on the home page. The tagline was interesting.


*DropY* My favorites parts:
The best part is the plot of the story. It has a lot of potential in it.


*DropB* Characters:
The characters are in need of definition. Each of them need dimensions and a proper introduction. No one knows who Blondie is or who Aunt Millie is. Only you do. So introduce them to us. Show us how they look, how old they are, their strengths, what other qualities they posses. Even their weaknesses are a part of their characters. That's what make them three dimensional.

You say Blondie is a baby witch, yet she phones her friends to go out with; confusing.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot is good, really, unconventional in a way. Witches generally want more power, for good or bad. So this little piece can be transformed into something really great. It needs some background, some drama and spice. You said Blondie looked over her shoulder and .... Where was she? Why was she there? What meeting it was... Describe. Draw the reader into the world of your witches.

The most important thing the piece is missing is that setting. You must have had a picture in your mind, all you need to do is put in on paper. Show us the surrounding, tell us where we are.

You have that capacity. Your flow is fluid and easy to read on. You have suspense, a little only but you can build up on it.

The other thing this is missing are the dialogues. Along with dialogues you have the opportunity to express the characters' inner feelings too. That would attach the reader with the characters.

*DropV* Ending:
The ending was positive. It could have ended on a more dramatic note.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it looked like a summary instead of a full grown story. If you can work on it, it will turn into a wonderful fantasy story.


*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed. Good Proof reading.

Keep up the good work...

With lots of *Heart*
*Shield1*Rima: Back To Work


Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstB* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group SuperPower... Review *BurstB*

9
9
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Kotaro,

Whatever I say is purely my own opinion. You can either take them or leave them... *Smile*

Nice short entry with suspense till the end.

A thought though. This contest has 2000 word limit, so you had enough to play with. You can modify your story and bring about a good curve with strong climax.
There could be background, character development, a crisis and a resolution.
That would make it an interesting read...


Just one typo.

Auriga place his arm : Auriga placed his arm

Good luck with the contest...

Keep Writing...
*Quill* Rima: Back To Work
*BurstB* A Superpowrful review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group *BurstB*
10
10
Review of Hell's Front Door  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello Sinbad,

Its a really gripping story and very interesting too.

The descriptions were well written and had brought out the details of every scene.

Your story had suspense that can keep the reader hooked till the end.

A few typos,
came ago: came again
stairs to the second floor: it was a two story house. A ground floor and a first floor.

Well, all the best for the contest

Keep writing...
*Quill* Rima: Back To Work
Its a Superpower review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
11
11
Review of My Dream Job  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Carly,

I could feel your excitement at the end of the piece..
Good Luck with the contest...

One typo:
over ad standing: over and standing


With *Heart*
Rima: Back To Work
12
12
Review of Haunted Hotel  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Beautiful story, strong suspense and a good narrative. There are a few typos though:


grew up one side: up on one side
hotel free and clear don't you think: hotel free and clear. Don't you think
“Mice?” I'll have to get some tr: Is the second line part of the dialogue?
My grandfather always wore Old Spice.”: Start the quote.

Best of luck for the contest...

Love
Rima
13
13
Review of Plans  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good Story and Congratulations on winning... But I couldn't find the prompt "You must be joking!" in the piece...

I think it was supposed to be there... *Smile*
14
14
Review of Love  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)

Never thought a cat, a rat and a dog can for a LOVE triangle...

she realized he had to leave: she realized she had to leave [I guess]

Good Luck...
15
15
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello ,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*



*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
I was just passing by and found the piece in the Science Fiction Short Story Contest. Congratulations on winning.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the way you have described Elan's journey. Its descriptions were to the point and very easy to relate to.

*DropB* Characters:
Elan: The protagonist is a young boy with determination and experience. He knows his way and how to handle situations.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The story picked up slow and slowly climbed the pick. My interest grew when he was tumbling down the hill. His curiosity for the flashing lights rose my curiosity as well.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The flow was smooth. The scenarios moved from one to the next without any hiccups.

*DropV* Ending:
The end put question in my mind. If Elan wanted to know about Earth then where was he from? What were those flashing lights? And who was Marty?

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall I enjoyed reading. You took me on a ride along with Elan.

*Drop* A few Typos:
easier that going up: easier than going up

Keep up the good work... And Congratulations again on winning....


Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
*Shield1* Rima: Back To Work
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstB* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Super Power review... *BurstB*

16
16
Review of Catching Stars  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*



First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*

*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of the Angel Review August Challenge. The name and the tag line was interesting.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the way you have kept the suspense and overall idea behind the story.

*DropB* Characters:
The description of the boy gave me the impression that he was blind, but then he could see the light in between his fingers, so I guessed he wasn't. I am a bit confused here. He seemed pretty curious and full of life.
The teacher has a unique way of sowing things to the boys. She seemed to be a woman of wonderful character.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The storyline was simple yet engaging. It had a sweetness to it that gave this piece life.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The flow was smooth and one could see things through the character's eyes.

*DropV* Ending:
The end was lovely and the question that the reader had in mind was ultimately answered.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall i liked reading your piece.

*Drop* A few Typos:
thing the dark: thing in the dark
“Where did it come from! Which one is it!” replace ! with ?

Beautiful piece and well written.

Thanks for sharing.. Keep writing....

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
*Shield1* Rima: Back To Work
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army Angelilc review... *Wand*
Image #1785375 over display limit. -?-

17
17
Review of Greg The Super  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello West,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*

*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of Angel August Challenge. I found this on the home page and the tagline held my interest.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
The best thing was the idea that went behind writing the story. It was nice and simple yet humorous.

*DropB* Characters:
The characters were okay. They were not well formed but I guess that's alright in a short story of this size. But what I felt is that there was very little description of Greg. We didn't get to know what kind of superhero he was and what trouble he faced in office.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was simple and straightforward. It didn't have twists or surprises but the content itself was entertaining.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The whole story was in a single flow. It started with the office members planning to cover for Greg and ended up in successfully doing so.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it was a good read. But It was hard to read the lines for they seemed to stand on top of one another. Please double space your lines. A new dialog is always a new line.

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed.

Do keep writing... and welcome to WDC...

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
*Shield1* Rima: Back To Work
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army Angelilc review... *Wand*
Image #1785375 over display limit. -?-

18
18
Review of Secrets  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of August Challenge from Angel Review Forum. Any kind of Secret is interesting... So was this one.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I loved the suspense. In this little space you have created immense amount of suspense.

*DropB* Characters:
There were not many characters but you have defined the protagonist showing us his character. I don't know if its a he or a she !!!

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was simple but intriguing.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
It flowed smoothly and without hiccups. But I think it would have been better if you had given spaces in between paragraphs.

*DropV* Ending:
You didn't tell us. I mean they told you the secret but you didn't tell me. *Laugh* I wonder what it was. *Think*

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it was an impressive piece of writing. Do use double spacing. Its helps the readers' eyes.

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed.

Keep writing...

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
*Shield1* Rima: Back To Work
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army Angelilc review... *Wand*
Image #1785375 over display limit. -?-

19
19
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello ,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*

*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of the August Challenge from Angel Review Forum. Its a fantasy and I am always interested in reading this genre.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the theme of the story. Its has some very interesting points and has potential to grow in to a novel.

*DropB* Characters:
So far most of the character are underdeveloped. They need more polishing. The dwarf and the elf are the only three dimensional characters. The Professor and that man with the wolf, Ronwin and Barrelswig need a little more physical description.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
This is just the opening and hence the plot is yet to be disclosed but it has pace. It moves with speed and action. The story is a fantasy with a world of your own. It needs more showing.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
I had some difficulty in understanding while the scenes changed. It needed some space in paragraphs. There's action in here but its missing the drama.

*DropV* Ending:
The story or the chapter ended on a break. There is more to it. The reader is left there in suspense and wants to read on.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Over all It was a good read though there is a lot of space for improvement. First of all, please use double spaced format. It makes reading easier. You have Prolouge and Chapter One in one item. I understand that you don't have the privilege of creating one item for one chapter or a book. Then make sure that the headings stand out.
Like:

Prologue
.........
.....


CHAPTER ONE
abcd efgh...

This will help the reader in getting a clear picture. Put space in between your paragraphs. Break the scenes in different paragraphs. All these effect the flow of the story.


*Drop* A few Typos:
There a quite a few:

This cult known to the ... lesser races and and veiwed : This cult, known to the ... lesser races and and viewed
She chosen four champions: She had chosen
her true nature, they were fated: nature, but they
thunder, when .. .Tarnus Barrelswig, discovered:thunder, when ... Barrelswig, discovered
deep in the earth.: within the
the snow is melted by early spring rain.: snow is will be melted
flap for he friend to enter.: for her friend
you show no one but Greggor himself: show it to no one but
shall leave at one.": at once [If you don't mean one o'clock]
please escuse me: excuse me
"Tarvus?" says suddenly. : Who says?
heads of into the: heads off into ...
follows behind his old friend: follows behind his
Kodo, or KUdo,: Different names at different places

A good proof reading would take care of others...

Keep writing... Its a good piece of work...


Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
*Shield1* Rima: Back To Work
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army Angelilc review... *Wand*
Image #1785375 over display limit. -?-

20
20
Review of Christmas in July  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Fyn,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*



*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of Angel Army July Challenge. I had to review something from your port and found this. The title is interesting and attracted my attetenion.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
You have a lot of Santa stories in your port and each one of them are different. I liked how you have taken up a real situation and incorporated in in your story.

*DropB* Characters:
You have brought out the characters well. Well there is nothing to say about Mr. and Mrs. Claus. The name itself is suffice.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was nice and refreshing. It gave me a vacationing feeling as if I went out with them.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The story flowed smoothly taking the reader along with it in a ride.

*DropV* Ending:
The end was a happy one and what I liked best was your note *Smile*

*DropG* Overall impression:
It was a lovely spirited story and i liked it very much.

*Drop* A few Typos:
There are a few punctuation missed.
”Besides,: "Besides,
“Tis time: “'Tis time
“Santa? Last year... : Who said this one? Clara or Fyndorian

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
*Shield1* Rima: Back To Work
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army Angelilc review... *Wand*
Image #1785375 over display limit. -?-

21
21
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sew,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*



*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
I found it on the dashboard and the wanted to read it. Kids' stories are always fun.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
My favorite part is where Sunshine comes up with the idea to share the extra strawberries and brings the neighborhood together.

*DropB* Characters:
The three main characters were believable and since this is a kids' story it better to leave a few things to their imaginations. The three characters are of different ages and you have beautifully brought that out without telling anything about it.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot is very positive and inspiring. The story line was simple and easily to understand. Its important to keep it simple.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The flow was smooth. a ten year old would be able to go from one scene to the next without any hiccup.

*DropV* Ending:
The end was beautiful, soothing.

*DropG* Overall impression:
It was a good read with a lesson for kids. Sharing is caring and its always good to care for your neighbors.

*Drop* A few Typos:
There are a few punctuation errors. Like:
share it with you.”: where does the '"' start?
I had a dream: Should have an opening '"'
this year. So, Nanny: this year." So, Nanny

There are more of this sort. A good proof read will fix them in no time.

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
*Shield1* Rima: Back To Work
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army Angelilc review... *Wand*
Image #1785375 over display limit. -?-

22
22
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Fyn,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*



*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of Angel Army July Challenge and I was to review something from your port. I found this, though I couldn't pronounce the title I wanted to read it.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the end which came as a surprise. I also liked the concept that went behind the piece. You have shown that even traditional things can be enjoyed in a new way.

*DropB* Characters:
Both the husband and wife seemed to be pretty cool in tight situations.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The story line was simple with lot of fun and improvisations. It had a light mood to it.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The flow was smooth except at the where I re-read. But it was a good surprise and a good dream too.

*DropV* Ending:
I loved the ending. A beautiful dream to start Christmas with.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it was a fun reading.

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed...


Nice piece...


Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
*Shield1* Rima: Back To Work
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army Angelilc review... *Wand*
Image #1785375 over display limit. -?-

23
23
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Fyn,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*



*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of Angel Army July Challenge and I needed to review something from your port. This was was pretty interesting.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the magic in your story. It had that spark that Christmas brings, especially when Cara found out about the confettis.

*DropB* Characters:
The mother: A calm woman with cool nerves who knows how to handle her kids.
Cara: For a ten-year old, she had her own way of getting things done.
Santa: Well... It was great of him to find Cara's mother and inform her about the girl's wish.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was simple but had surprise not only for Cara but for us too. I read till the end to find out how it ended.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The story flowed smoothly till the end. The scenes were easily distinguishable and well formed.

*DropV* Ending:
The end was full of smiles. It was wonderful and one could feel the magic you have woven in the story.

*DropG* Overall impression:
I loved reading your piece.

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed.


Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
*Shield1* Rima: Back To Work
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army Angelilc review... *Wand*
Image #1785375 over display limit. -?-

24
24
Review of "Sleep"  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Angus,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*



*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of July Challenge. I needed to review something from your port when this title caught my attention.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked way you have slowly revealed about Darren' life, past and present, his wife and his intentions. You had one surprise in stored after every line in that paragraph.

*DropB* Characters:
The character of Darren was portrayed in one single paragraph and it was solid as a rock.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The story had certain character to it. The suspense grew slowly and though the ending was more or less inevitable, yet it had a charisma to keep the reader hooked to it.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
It was high on action right from the beginning. A man in a car that had the body of his wife in the trunk is always good at put that pulse racing.

*DropV* Ending:
As I said the end was expected but not the way it did.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it was a well written piece with all the horror that you specialize in. *Smile*

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed


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Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
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25
25
Review of Out Of Place  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello ,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*



*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of the Angle Army July Challenge. I was to review something from your port and ran into this one. The tag line invoked my interest.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the eccentricity [if this is the right word] of your imagination. This piece is something totally different. With simple language and nothing gore you have created horror in this story.

*DropB* Characters:
The only character is the narrator. He seemed to be very calm minded and cool. Even when watching his neighborhood disappear, his limbs disappear right in front of his eyes, he didn't scream in fear, not once. In fact he noted things down in order. Well that's one appreciable attribute.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was simple and a easy to follow. There were no twist or turns yet it was fascinating.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The action flowed smoothly till the end.

*DropV* Ending:
The end leaves questions in the readers mind.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it was a good and entertaining read.
One question though: If he couldn't see the cars or the people, how did he get to the library?

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed.


Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
*Shield1* Rima: Back To Work
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army Angelilc review... *Wand*
Image #1785375 over display limit. -?-

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