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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rimad
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238 Public Reviews Given
238 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Unnatural Growth  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey BlackAdder,

Good one. I was waiting for that twist in tail and found it at last, literally...
Loved the ending and thanks for sharing....
2
2
Review of A Lost Harvest  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
That's a fantastic piece... Except that the scene jumps at places were too abrupt. At least they were for me. Other than that I found the story pretty enjoyable and full of suspense...

Keep writing...
Rima...
3
3
Review of The Fourth Child  
Review by Rima...
Rated: E | (4.0)
That's a fascinating story but in high need of some very good editing.
Please use some editing tools or read it aloud. It would help a lot.
4
4
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very very interesting... In fact a great suspense and thriling sifi. I kind of breathed out in relief when Mark turned out to be an Android in a test lab...
Good work...
5
5
Review by Rima...
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is not really a review but a way of sharing my thoughts that I had after reading this piece...
Reading it had been an eye opening experience. It shattered a lot of believes that people has of places they only see in maps or hear about in news.

I had to sit quietly for a while taking it all in. I can't event begin to fathom the hardship you had to be through.

Thank you for sharing this experience.
Hope you are doing okay now.

With LOTS of love...
Rima
6
6
Review of Misbelief  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Skeyler,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
Found it in the read and review list.


*DropG* Overall impression:
Over all the story was good with potential.
First point. Please change the font type. The current type hurts the eyes. A simple font with double spacing would be great.
Second point. Why is one of the genre 'Dark'. This could be clearly be a romantic story. There were no horror or dread in it.
Third Point. Do set up your bio and portfolio. It helps the reader to know you better. *Smile*


*DropY* My favorites parts:
The idea was good.


*DropB* Characters:
The characters need development. Most of them don't have description, except for probably, Faye. I had a hard time putting an age to the protagonist. This is a single story I guess, not a part of a series. If that's so people's background would help. The characters need to raise sympathy from the reader. Only then would they find them interesting.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The story line is good but it can be better. The things that are missing are drama and suspense. Even the simple stories need suspense. Its needed to keep the reader glued to the piece.
One more thing. Use a new line for each dialogue.


*DropV* Ending:
The ending was a positive and happy ending. Like it.


*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed but then again it was hard to read.


Keep writing!!! C U around...

With lots of *Heart*
*Shield1*Rima...

Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstB* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  SuperPower... Review *BurstB*
7
7
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Kotaro,

Whatever I say is purely my own opinion. You can either take them or leave them... *Smile*

Nice short entry with suspense till the end.

A thought though. This contest has 2000 word limit, so you had enough to play with. You can modify your story and bring about a good curve with strong climax.
There could be background, character development, a crisis and a resolution.
That would make it an interesting read...


Just one typo.

Auriga place his arm : Auriga placed his arm

Good luck with the contest...

Keep Writing...
*Quill* Rima...
*BurstB* A Superpowrful review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  *BurstB*
8
8
Review of Hell's Front Door  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello Sinbad,

Its a really gripping story and very interesting too.

The descriptions were well written and had brought out the details of every scene.

Your story had suspense that can keep the reader hooked till the end.

A few typos,
came ago: came again
stairs to the second floor: it was a two story house. A ground floor and a first floor.

Well, all the best for the contest

Keep writing...
*Quill* Rima...
Its a Superpower review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
9
9
Review of My Dream Job  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Carly,

I could feel your excitement at the end of the piece..
Good Luck with the contest...

One typo:
over ad standing: over and standing


With *Heart*
Rima...
10
10
Review of Haunted Hotel  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Beautiful story, strong suspense and a good narrative. There are a few typos though:


grew up one side: up on one side
hotel free and clear don't you think: hotel free and clear. Don't you think
“Mice?” I'll have to get some tr: Is the second line part of the dialogue?
My grandfather always wore Old Spice.”: Start the quote.

Best of luck for the contest...

Love
Rima
11
11
Review of Love  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)

Never thought a cat, a rat and a dog can for a LOVE triangle...

she realized he had to leave: she realized she had to leave [I guess]

Good Luck...
12
12
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Sonali,

Pretty different kind of story...
It was interesting to read... And your way of writing always a fun to read...

Typos:
Dad fought his mother: fought with his mother
I'm nut sure if she: I'm not sure...

And I don't think you would need to add anything more...

This is for a contest I presume.
Good Luck...

With *Heart*
Rima...
13
13
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello ,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
I was just passing by and found the piece in the Science Fiction Short Story Contest. Congratulations on winning.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the way you have described Elan's journey. Its descriptions were to the point and very easy to relate to.

*DropB* Characters:
Elan: The protagonist is a young boy with determination and experience. He knows his way and how to handle situations.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The story picked up slow and slowly climbed the pick. My interest grew when he was tumbling down the hill. His curiosity for the flashing lights rose my curiosity as well.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The flow was smooth. The scenarios moved from one to the next without any hiccups.

*DropV* Ending:
The end put question in my mind. If Elan wanted to know about Earth then where was he from? What were those flashing lights? And who was Marty?

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall I enjoyed reading. You took me on a ride along with Elan.

*Drop* A few Typos:
easier that going up: easier than going up

Keep up the good work... And Congratulations again on winning....


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*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstB* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Super Power review... *BurstB*

14
14
Review of Catching Stars  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*

*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of the Angel Review August Challenge. The name and the tag line was interesting.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the way you have kept the suspense and overall idea behind the story.

*DropB* Characters:
The description of the boy gave me the impression that he was blind, but then he could see the light in between his fingers, so I guessed he wasn't. I am a bit confused here. He seemed pretty curious and full of life.
The teacher has a unique way of sowing things to the boys. She seemed to be a woman of wonderful character.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The storyline was simple yet engaging. It had a sweetness to it that gave this piece life.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The flow was smooth and one could see things through the character's eyes.

*DropV* Ending:
The end was lovely and the question that the reader had in mind was ultimately answered.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall i liked reading your piece.

*Drop* A few Typos:
thing the dark: thing in the dark
“Where did it come from! Which one is it!” replace ! with ?

Beautiful piece and well written.

Thanks for sharing.. Keep writing....

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*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*
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15
15
Review of Greg The Super  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello West,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*

*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of Angel August Challenge. I found this on the home page and the tagline held my interest.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
The best thing was the idea that went behind writing the story. It was nice and simple yet humorous.

*DropB* Characters:
The characters were okay. They were not well formed but I guess that's alright in a short story of this size. But what I felt is that there was very little description of Greg. We didn't get to know what kind of superhero he was and what trouble he faced in office.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was simple and straightforward. It didn't have twists or surprises but the content itself was entertaining.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The whole story was in a single flow. It started with the office members planning to cover for Greg and ended up in successfully doing so.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it was a good read. But It was hard to read the lines for they seemed to stand on top of one another. Please double space your lines. A new dialog is always a new line.

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed.

Do keep writing... and welcome to WDC...

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*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*
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16
16
Review of Secrets  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of August Challenge from Angel Review Forum. Any kind of Secret is interesting... So was this one.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I loved the suspense. In this little space you have created immense amount of suspense.

*DropB* Characters:
There were not many characters but you have defined the protagonist showing us his character. I don't know if its a he or a she !!!

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was simple but intriguing.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
It flowed smoothly and without hiccups. But I think it would have been better if you had given spaces in between paragraphs.

*DropV* Ending:
You didn't tell us. I mean they told you the secret but you didn't tell me. *Laugh* I wonder what it was. *Think*

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it was an impressive piece of writing. Do use double spacing. Its helps the readers' eyes.

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed.

Keep writing...

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*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*
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17
17
Review of Christmas in July  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Fyn,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of Angel Army July Challenge. I had to review something from your port and found this. The title is interesting and attracted my attetenion.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
You have a lot of Santa stories in your port and each one of them are different. I liked how you have taken up a real situation and incorporated in in your story.

*DropB* Characters:
You have brought out the characters well. Well there is nothing to say about Mr. and Mrs. Claus. The name itself is suffice.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was nice and refreshing. It gave me a vacationing feeling as if I went out with them.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The story flowed smoothly taking the reader along with it in a ride.

*DropV* Ending:
The end was a happy one and what I liked best was your note *Smile*

*DropG* Overall impression:
It was a lovely spirited story and i liked it very much.

*Drop* A few Typos:
There are a few punctuation missed.
”Besides,: "Besides,
“Tis time: “'Tis time
“Santa? Last year... : Who said this one? Clara or Fyndorian

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*
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18
18
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sew,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
I found it on the dashboard and the wanted to read it. Kids' stories are always fun.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
My favorite part is where Sunshine comes up with the idea to share the extra strawberries and brings the neighborhood together.

*DropB* Characters:
The three main characters were believable and since this is a kids' story it better to leave a few things to their imaginations. The three characters are of different ages and you have beautifully brought that out without telling anything about it.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot is very positive and inspiring. The story line was simple and easily to understand. Its important to keep it simple.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The flow was smooth. a ten year old would be able to go from one scene to the next without any hiccup.

*DropV* Ending:
The end was beautiful, soothing.

*DropG* Overall impression:
It was a good read with a lesson for kids. Sharing is caring and its always good to care for your neighbors.

*Drop* A few Typos:
There are a few punctuation errors. Like:
share it with you.”: where does the '"' start?
I had a dream: Should have an opening '"'
this year. So, Nanny: this year." So, Nanny

There are more of this sort. A good proof read will fix them in no time.

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*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*
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19
19
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Fyn,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of Angel Army July Challenge and I was to review something from your port. I found this, though I couldn't pronounce the title I wanted to read it.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the end which came as a surprise. I also liked the concept that went behind the piece. You have shown that even traditional things can be enjoyed in a new way.

*DropB* Characters:
Both the husband and wife seemed to be pretty cool in tight situations.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The story line was simple with lot of fun and improvisations. It had a light mood to it.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The flow was smooth except at the where I re-read. But it was a good surprise and a good dream too.

*DropV* Ending:
I loved the ending. A beautiful dream to start Christmas with.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it was a fun reading.

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed...


Nice piece...


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*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*
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20
20
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Fyn,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of Angel Army July Challenge and I needed to review something from your port. This was was pretty interesting.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the magic in your story. It had that spark that Christmas brings, especially when Cara found out about the confettis.

*DropB* Characters:
The mother: A calm woman with cool nerves who knows how to handle her kids.
Cara: For a ten-year old, she had her own way of getting things done.
Santa: Well... It was great of him to find Cara's mother and inform her about the girl's wish.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was simple but had surprise not only for Cara but for us too. I read till the end to find out how it ended.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The story flowed smoothly till the end. The scenes were easily distinguishable and well formed.

*DropV* Ending:
The end was full of smiles. It was wonderful and one could feel the magic you have woven in the story.

*DropG* Overall impression:
I loved reading your piece.

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed.


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*
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21
21
Review of Out Of Place  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello ,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of the Angle Army July Challenge. I was to review something from your port and ran into this one. The tag line invoked my interest.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the eccentricity [if this is the right word] of your imagination. This piece is something totally different. With simple language and nothing gore you have created horror in this story.

*DropB* Characters:
The only character is the narrator. He seemed to be very calm minded and cool. Even when watching his neighborhood disappear, his limbs disappear right in front of his eyes, he didn't scream in fear, not once. In fact he noted things down in order. Well that's one appreciable attribute.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was simple and a easy to follow. There were no twist or turns yet it was fascinating.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The action flowed smoothly till the end.

*DropV* Ending:
The end leaves questions in the readers mind.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it was a good and entertaining read.
One question though: If he couldn't see the cars or the people, how did he get to the library?

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I noticed.


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*
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22
22
Review of Scales  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Angus,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of the Angle Army July Challenge. I was to review something from your port and found this.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
The setting and the uniqueness of the story was wonderful. You have turned a simple into a place of nightmare.

*DropB* Characters:
There weren't many characters in this piece to focus into, except the narrator. He seemed to be a determined man and at the end dangerous. Well he had to defend himself.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was different. It started with a simple problem with blue leaves and ended in an attacked of people changed to something else. The horror element slowly climbed its peak.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The action grew as time passed and it reached it s peak at the end. There it stayed for we don't know what happened to Steve or to those that came climbing his walls.

*DropV* Ending:
The ending was full of horror and fear. And the question lingers on...

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it was a good read.. Just one suggestion. I felt for this story you could have written it in a log book style. Like Steve was keeping logs of events as and when they happened. [Just my thought]...

Well deserved Awardicons...

*Drop* A few Typos:
my oldest daughter: my eldest daughter

Keep on writing and scaring us... *BigSmile*

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*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*
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23
23
Review of Five Minutes  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Bad Wolf,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING PROMOTED


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of Angel army June Challenge. I was looking for something to review in your port and came across this one. Started reading and couldn't stop.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
The whole story is my favorite. It was full of emotional touches and it leaves mark after its done.

*DropB* Characters:
The protagonist is a determined man with a focused mind and steel nerves. Even without one arm and leg he completed his studies, raised his family got a job and fought with Robert to save his colleagues.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was solid. It is a story of a man who is full of courage and selflessness. The story started it felt a little complex but then everything fell into place as the story progressed.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The flow was smooth. The flow moved smoothly in and out of the flashback. As the story progressed it became more and more gripping and intense till the end came.

*DropV* Ending:
It was a sad story but a brave one. I liked the end specially what his boss did.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall it was an impressive and touching story.

*Drop* A few Typos:
None that I found.

Keep writing ...

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*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*

24
24
Review of The Blind Date  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello Schnujo,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of Angel Army June Challenge. I was looking to review something in your port and found this one. The tag line drew my curiosity.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the fineness with which you have showed us Danielle's past without breaking the flow of the story.

*DropB* Characters:
There was not much space to fully describe your characters. Yet you have given us a physical description of the protagonist which has also played a part in developing the story.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was simple yet interesting. There was the suspense, specially since its a blind date. The story took of on a positive not with a little flashback that gave a base to it.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
There was nothing hindering the flow of the story. It was smooth and flawless and easy to read.

*DropV* Ending:
The ending came as a surprise. There were hints here and there all over the story but none of them really caught much attention before the last line came.

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall i liked the story. It was a fun read.

*Drop* A few Typos:
Mike was a really guy: a really nice guy [maybe]

Keep Writing and Inspiring us...

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*

25
25
Review of It was the 50's  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello The Kindred,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
This is a part of Angel Army June challenge. I was looking for something to review on your port and ran into this. I love kid's stories for they are fun.

*DropY* My favorites parts:
I loved the idea and Ma's enthusiasm to try out a silly thing like frying an egg on the pavement.

*DropB* Characters:
Ma: An able lady who has the kid in her alive and active.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The plot was so sweet but at the same moment inspiring. It should nudge children to go out and try things for themselves instead of sitting home and wasting time and energy in TVs or mobiles.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The flow was smooth but the excitement of the children kept it lively.

*DropV* Ending:
The ending was nice. You need to see things like these to believe it. *Smile*

*DropG* Overall impression:
Overall I liked and enjoyed it.

*Drop* A few Typos:

the egg to lift it it: lift it it
“Did not.” Greg whispered:not.,” Greg
a few more like this

Keep up the good work

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
*Shield1* Rima...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*Wand* A "The WDC Angel Army"  Angelilc review... *Wand*

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