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238 Public Reviews Given
238 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of Cheating Husband  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello PureSiFi,


I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
I found this on Please Review Section. Beside that the name and the tang under it aroused my interest.


*DropY* My favorites parts:
I liked the simple way that the story was woven, still keeping the suspense and thrill alive.
You have separated the Elaine's thoughts with different color, but italics could have done the job. The red ink kind of distracts the eyes.

*DropB* Characters:
Elaine: A woman with strong will and logic. She is quick to judge situations and can think on her feet.

*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
The story line was simple and without much twists. But the plot was well developed and smoothly executed...

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The flow was smooth without hiccups. It had few turns specially where the wife was found murdered and then the husband.

*DropV* Ending:
It ended on a positive note where Elaine was praised for her efforts and became successful in her career.

*DropG* Overall impression:
It was overall a nice story and I enjoyed reading it a lot... *Smile*


*DropP* Technique
- Grammar: Good
- Sentence Structure: Simple, straightforward and effective...
- Punctuation : Good
- Verb tenses: Good
- Spelling: Good
*BigSmile*



*Drop* A few Typos:
Scott’s burnt slightly face: Scott’s slightly burnt face

Thanks for sharing...

*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*


*Shamrock* You are being Raided in the Ides of March "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  RAID! *Gold*
52
52
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello Jace,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

*WaterDrop* Why I chose this item:
It was a random selection, but the title made me curious.


*DropY* My favorites parts:

I liked the way you have used a part of the future before going into the main story.
It helped in arousing the curiosity in the reader.


*DropB* Characters:
There were three main characters: Mick, Leslie and Kate. Since the story is in first
person, most of the space was taken up by Mick. He appeared to be an average guy who got
diverted in some way. But he appeared to be a guy who was mature enough to realize and
accept the wrong, if he did anything wrong.
Kate, a friend in need, indeed.
Leslie, though she remained behind the curtain all the time, appeared to be a
forgiving person for she finally decided to meet her husband.


*DropO* StoryLine/Plot :
This is quite an effective story written in such small space. There were details in
it and it helped the reader to know the character better. The story flowed smoothly
without hiccups.

*DropR* Action/Flow :
The actions in the piece were descriptive giving a clear picture of what
was happening and also of how the character was feeling. Like the falling of the chair
when Mick stood up.

*DropV* Ending:
I felt it was an optimistic ending full of hope. *Smile*

*DropG* Overall impression:
It was an interesting read, having a nice blend of suspense and mystery.

*DropP* Technique
- Grammar: No problem that I could spot.
- Sentence Structure: They were simple and easy to follow.
- Punctuation : Error Free
- Verb tenses: Error Free
- Spelling: Error Free
*BigSmile*


*Drop* A few Typos:
told me had sustained here: sustained her



*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*RibbonB* A "Invalid Item"  NAG... Review *RibbonB*
53
53
Review of Fear.  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Lizza,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


I read your little piece about fear and letting go of things and I could really relate to it.
You have picked out every little point that a man fears and also shown us ways to counter them. This fact made your piece complete.

Maybe you can expand it into a short story. Have characters and share their experiences... [Just as thought]

A few typos
Were defined: We're defined
to live all the pain behind : leave all the pain
even for once second: for one second
But no the persons: not the persons
your brave now , your strong now: you're
you know your worth it: you know you're worth it OR you know your worth [it]
your strong , your beautiful: you're ...

And a suggestion: Please double space you paragraphs. It's helps to read better.

Looking forward to reading more of your pieces...


*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*RibbonB* A "Invalid Item"  NAG... Review *RibbonB*
54
54
Review of Childhood Trauma  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*



Your story touched my heart and left a mark. Though I had never faced such situation, I know there are people who had and its sometimes terrible.

I liked the way you took the positive approach of the whole matter.

Every childhood incident somehow affects how he/she grows up. It shapes his/her mentality and outlook towards life...

In your piece the protagonist had taken in every lesson his earlier life had to offer and had build with it a strong man out of himself.

But, even so, its really very hard to grow up in such an environment.

Thank you for sharing the piece ...



*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*RibbonB* A "Invalid Item"  NAG... Review *RibbonB*
55
55
Review of The Mission  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Angus,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

That was a twisting little story. The name agent Sparrow made me think he was a bird. But the ending came as a real surprise.

There was some good amount of suspense in that little space. And why not? Who would have guessed what R.B Army and R.A. Army stood for.

No wonder Arakun liked it.

Enjoyed it...

*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*

56
56
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello River,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

Hope it had stopped snowing there.... *Sun*
Liked this little piece... The best part was the where the cabbage stared back at you... it was like *Laugh*

I was wondering how the story was going to end... You could have made a horror out the stuff you have here *Smile*...

But I loved the simplicity of the little piece...

*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "Invalid Item"  NAG... *BurstBL*

HAPPY NEW YEAR
57
57
Review of One Angry Mother  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Chris,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


He he he... *BigSmile*
Very cute and love filled story...
It has a pretty good thought too...
And it is a tough job to describe something without those precious -ly words *Smile*
She done nothing wrong: She had done..

So here is a sans -ly review *Laugh*
Good Luck
*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*

58
58
Review of The Haunted Hotel  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello JellyFish,

This is a December RAID on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  ... Be Blessed *Bigsmile*
I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


Good story, well written...
When I picked it up I expected it to be a ghost story, but at the same time kept on wondering about such an revealing Title. It seemed to give away the suspense. But as I came to an end it really made me laugh.

You got me there!!! *Wink*

There are a few typos:

The woman was sat in: was sitting
the elevators. He was right: Starting the statement 'He was right...' from a new line would have been better, I think.
Whoever heard of a ghost : Had heard [I guess]
outside in to the: into, not in to


I like the way the story ends. You kept the reader guessing for so long. But maybe you could have spun a little mystery when Sarah opens the door of the store room... You know, dark room, louder noises, a shadow on the wall as Ersin arrives... Just a thought...

Enjoyed it... Thank you for sharing...

*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*
*Star**TreePine**Santahat**Ornament1B* Spreading Peace in "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Happy Holiday Member to Member RAID! *Ornament1B**Santahat**TreePine**Star*
59
59
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello Meduf,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

I liked your story... What I liked most was the way you have described the turmoil of the sea and the difficulties that Kim and Jake had to face.
I was wondering how the story was going to end. It came up suddenly but didn't hit on the face. That was nice.

The end kept me wondering for a while, which is a good sign...

The devil of the ocean claimed another victim.
claimed or had claimed
Just wondering...

Well written...
Enjoyed it..

*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*

60
60
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello MysteryBox,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*

I liked your story. It was short, but pictured the blizzard well. Though a little more showing of the surrounding would have helped. A lot was left to the reader's imagination.

Like where were they? Is it a modern time story or a story set in the past?

This seems to be a part of a bigger story. There is so much to tell about these two characters and specially about the name of the piece.
Why 'The Burning Man', Who is 'The Burning Man' So I suppose this is just the first chapter.

Having said so, I would say it was a good read. Your writing has a certain flow in it which takes the reader forward.

Keep up the good work and enjoy WDC...

*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*

61
61
Review of Car-Free Day  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Parminder,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*


Your piece made me smile.
Being an Indian myself I could very well relate to your situation. I am not only an IT professional but I travel by bus everyday. I understand the concern you had for your laptop. *BigSmile*

Your descriptions were fitting and a clear picture of the crowd on any Indian buses. In fact, the reaction of the conductor for change was perfect. Boy, don't they blow their tops on seeing a bigger note!
Losing wallets and phones are pretty common in such places.

But thousands of people travel this way everyday: being crushed in their seats, squeezed in the aisle or hanging out of the door.

But frankly speaking I love travelling by bus than by the car. Well, don't kill me for it. It makes me feel a part of the crowd. Well, that's just my thought.


Anyway, I loved the piece for I could feel a part of it. Thank you for sharing.

*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*

62
62
Review of THE DATING GAME  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Scribe,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


Nice Story... I liked it because it spoke of a middle aged woman who after taking care of her family, raising her two daughters single handedly was looking up at life. It was, in a way, inspiring.
In a very few words you have told us about her past as well. Just a few lines but that was enough to show us what she had to go through...

One doubt though.
A couple of glasses of red would...: Would it be just red or red wine?


Enjoyed the piece...
*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*

63
63
Review of The House Setter  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Snow,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


Now That was scary. I got drawn to the piece when the mist appeared and stayed with Amanda all along.
It was short but power packed and it delivered quite a punch at the end. The end took me off guard and that's what won me....

On a hooked next to the door a key hung: On a hook not hooked, I guess...

Good luck for the contest....

*Moon**Fairy2* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*

64
64
Review of The Last Patient  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Cabre,

This is a Hallow-Scream RAID on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  ... Be Aware *Bigsmile*
I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

That was a solid and gripping story that you have created so effortlessly. It flowed out slowly, taking the readers alone with it. Like a good suspense piece, you have kept the horror till the end but could feel it all along.

The end leaves the readers with questions and makes them to ponder over as who might be the killer(s) be. That's a great achievement on its own.
It was clean and well thought off. Loved the way it had developed as well.

There was no grammatical error or typo I could spot and *ThumbsUpR* for that.

Keep writing ... and keep sharing
*Fairy3* RimaD
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*
Welcome to "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
*Jackolantern* *Pumpkin* *Leafo* Fall into Hallow-Scream Raid *Jackolantern* *Pumpkin* *Leafo*
65
65
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello BeginnerMan,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*

I gather its a draft but still a name would have been good.
The material is interesting and had suspense, not griping, but it was just the first chapter.
It kind of lacked in its goal. As I read on, I wasn't sure where I had headed. But then it was not the whole story.
The prologue needs a little more spice. It read flat and vague. Maybe bit by bit description of the scene could have enhanced the piece. Like the cold and dull walls, the chilling air, the smell etc. Take the reader and thrust him right into the room. *Smile* You can do it.

But as I have already said it was interesting and I would love to see it grow into a full novel.

A few points you would like to reconsider:

been trained to use a utilize a variety of weapons of which to destroy : either 'to use a variety...' or 'to utilize a variety...' and weapons 'with' which to destroy
"I've also heard" He continued "that: a comma(,) after heard, He would be he
lab we were heading too, : its heading to
most everyone shut up when: most would be Almost I think
a kind of light blue the edges that : light blue at the edges


And Please look after the punctuation. And Please capitalize the first letters after a full-stop.


Keep writing!!! It would only improve you... Enjoyed the piece and waiting for the final work.

Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*

66
66
Review of Sophie  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Steve,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

A nice horror tale with some good amount of chill and suspense.
I like the way you have developed the atmosphere.

The tag line 'Mom never thought her work would follow her home' gives away a lot. Knowing it to be a ghost story I was kind of expecting the little girl to be the ghost and after reading the tag I was kind of sure that she would follow them home. [Just my thought]

Leaving those aside it was a good story, nicely planned and well executed.

Keep up the good work...

Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*

67
67
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Robert,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*


I loved your story. A lot.
At a point it seemed to be a little lengthy but I didn't lose track and enjoyed it.

There was pace and suspense. There was energy and thrill that ran through me. It grabbed my attention right from the beginning and yes, lasted till the every last line.

The two important characters, Aksa and Yax, were well developed. The good thing about it was that you didn't tell us about it but showed what kind of a man / alien they were.

The technology, the terminology used, the descriptions of the ship in distress were superb and helped to keep the reader glued to the story.

A few things you might need to look into.
Once every decade
anybody's bothered to test
She shook his head.

I enjoyed reading your piece. Keep it up...

Good Luck for the contest....

Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*

68
68
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Winter,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*

That was a fascinating story. It started with suspense and you kept it alive till the end. It had good thought and the character was slowly developed.
There was no flaw that I could see. The end was a surprise. A very good thing.

Hope Arakun likes it..
And good luck with the contest... *Delight*


Happy Writing *Quill* !!!
*BurstBL* A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review... *BurstBL*

69
69
Review of Monty's Halloween  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello Percy,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

First of all,
*GreetR* WELCOME *GreetL*
to WDC


If you enjoy writing and reading, you have landed on the right planet... *Earth* *BigSmile*


That was a very nice and fun filled story... I enjoyed it to the full...
The idea of having a monster in guise of a man was a good one.

It was nice to read since it had a flow to it. It had developed the characters of Monty and Judith to some extent... Well done...


A few Typos:
this way.” Trevor said. : use a comma after 'way'
elders were sat around : either 'elders were sitting around' or 'elders sat around'
a circle of tables: didn't get what that meant...
Judith, was stood in the middle,: either 'Judith, was standing in the middle' or 'Judith, stood in the middle'
enslave them all, retake his true form.: i think first retake the old form and then enslave them... [Jsut a thought]
on who he should: how, not who I think
Don’t shoot?” he said: Was he asking or was he saying. If he was saying use a comma.

Thanks for sharing...
Happy Writing *Quill* !!!

A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  power review...
70
70
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Izzy,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

That is a very nice story you have there. Its greatest score is its positiveness. Some little care and kindness can do magic. What people lack today is the patience and understanding for the other. You have got both in the story and that has helped it bloom.

The characters of Madison and Niklas were beautifully portrayed. Their actions spoke a thousands words bringing out their inner feelings. Well Done...

Now, about the pace. It seemed a little fast. So much happening in one day. Love, friendship, trust... takes time and all of it happening in a day was like running things in fast forward mode. May be you could have stretched it over a few days...
[Just my opinion...]

Loved the last line.... *Heart*

Typos:
She loves coming in her: in here
What was Niklas full name? Niklas Kronwall or Kronner.
Niklas saw trust, innocent, admiration: innocence...

Thanks for sharing the story... It was nice to read it...


Happy Writing *Quill* !!!

100 GPs for the wonderful story.. *Laugh*


71
71
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Matt,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

Well written piece.
It started out casually without giving out anything to the readers.
Until she actually took his name I was wondering if the speaker was a man or a woman.
In the whole story I was trying to figure out the relationship in between the two. Things got more interested as the story neared its end.

The end was a surprise and that was the highlight of the story, which is a very good thing.

Thank you for sharing your work...


Happy Writing *Quill* !!!


72
72
Review of Forgotten colors  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Satish,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

First of all,
*Star* CONGRATULATIONS *Star*
On Winning
*ConfettiG* *Salute* *Heart* *ConfettiB*


That was a really gripping story... It had all the materials of a bigger thriller...
The description of the room was hair rising. It grabbed my attention and made me crave for more...




Happy Writing *Quill* !!!


73
73
Review of Where's My Doll?  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello SciFi,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

The story was overall nice but it didn't really come out the page.
It needed some drama and actions or may be some surprises.

The story simply ends. I was expecting some surprise or at least a twist.

A few typos:
like Katherine was mad at: mad at who?
And she did hear, or even see, : I think its she didn't hear

Well these are just my thoughts and you can surely ignore them.

Happy Writing *Quill* !!!


74
74
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Wiesblaize,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

First of all,
*Star* CONGRATULATIONS *Star*
On Winning
*ConfettiG* *Salute* *Heart* *ConfettiB*


Well, Nice story... Enjoyed it....
The description of the pair of binoculars was very technical and interesting.

The part where the protagonist goes up to his attic was well done... It was successful in building up the atmosphere of something supernatural about to happen.

The binocular was coated with dust yet it was warm as if someone has used it recently... Creepy...

A voice said "it's time to see for yourself" See what?

The end was good but it seems there is something more to it.



Happy Writing *Quill* !!!


75
75
Review of Transformation  
Review by Rima...
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Wiesblaze,

I enjoyed reading your story.
I am no expert and what's following is my humble review which you may choose to ignore. *Angelic*

After I was done with your story I smiled. No, it was not funny but the end was, well, fishy. When it started out I expected it to be longer.
The story was good but though not scary.
The question still remains why this happened? EVen if it was unnatural, but still there is always a reason, no matter how supernatural the reason is.


Happy Writing *Quill* !!!


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