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*One of the most sought after reviewers at Writing.Com.* Seriously? *Laugh* There was a time my honesty could be brutal. Residing here 14 years, as a sensitive writer myself, I'm able to temper observations that neither flatter or off-put. I like to see the good, observe how each writing projects. If I review, it's mainly because I see the value. I want to strike up friendships and partnerships, though it can be quite isolating here for a non-conformist, who has bent part of the way, but not fully met with reciprocating compromise. This can temporarily cause me to bend back. *Smirk*
 
So if you want to see how I review, my feedback is public. Don't be afraid to tap in and see for yourself. *Smile* UPDATE: IF YOU'RE AN UPGRADED MEMBER, you don't have to gift me points for reviews. Send me that one free merit badge you're allotted monthly and I'll review up to 4 mid-length poems, or one short story up to 5k words.
I'm good at...
Sleeping. Retired now. I encourage writers with my reviews. I look for strengths and give direction on how to make something better. I am willing to continue to correspond with the writer if there is more I can offer. I look at what drives a reader. I think with my experience, I can see where your art derives from and is taking you. Sometimes, before the writer knows.
Favorite Genres
nature, love, psychological, drama, human interest, history, science, conspiracy, dystopian, fatalistic, tasteful
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, fan fiction, some fantasy and sci-fi, or anything Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones-ish.
Favorite Item Types
poetry, short story, essay
Public Reviews
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Review of The Diagnosis  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I read this story with much anticipation for the outcome. There seemed to be some foreboding (as with message on phone) and some twists and turns to the manners and outcome of the hitman. I honestly thought Duncan would get that message and have to figure out how not to get whacked.

This was not pleasing as a gruesome, sad story with a bit of irony at the end. I'm not sure Duncan is a sympathetic character, because he did not consider how horrible this would affect daughter. That he decided his wife's fate, as well. I feel set up a bit by the need to enjoy that last day, like he was going to miss both members of his family. In retrospect, he might have agonized over a double murder.

Characters were a bit ordinary and stiff. I think it was hard to be invested in anyone but Duncan. Waitress cliché, hitman intriguing needs more description/mannerisms. The story plays from Duncan's perspective until he dies. I almost feel the hitman is a more likeable character for how he carries out his craft.

Sticking points for me:
I'm not sure you can request no autopsy with a homicide, especially if his wife has not agreed. Remaining family could request autopsy, I would think. It could be assumed the autopsy is an unnecessary detail for the story. Even when one is done, it can only conclude he was murdered. It is more likely questions would center around staging of scene. Even if he has cancer, it's not what kills him. It's not the smoking gun to prove a hit. The 10k could be traced. The meet up might be checked. Credit cards, phone records are all more damning than what autopsy results, unless the killer is sloppy and gets caught.

More: Doctors seldom leave detailed messages. It can be assumed a nurse would call instead and only request they immediately call back. Privacy laws are pretty strict now. Unless this was set in an earlier era, but the cost of coffee would belie that.

I think this reads closer to noir-style fiction. If I'm paying that much for coffee, I'd be describing a goth barista who I'd still stiff on the tip because of her flat affect and indifferent no-eye-contact demeanor. Or, someone serving who's even more progressive. But, Wheel of Fortune just seemed so sad and tired.

Duncan does seem pathetic. I didn't know how to feel about him. Very dark and stunning result. It leaves a reader with intense emotion, if they're into that sort of thing. You categorized the genres correctly.

Nice going,
BK


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Review of Mother  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think as haikus go, from what I know, you seem to have nailed it. I think beyond the syllable form is where you have successfully completed this mission.

Opportunities for improvement might include somethung beyond using three -ful words conjoined. There are many ways to go in that middle of the haiku that are endless. Lines one and three hold the structure. You could repeatedly create multitudes of Mother's Day type tributes from this.

Well done.
RR


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Review of A Violet Dance  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I think the last line of this poem says it all, "too many possibilities" of what this subject displayed in poetic fashion is about. Definitely could categorize this poem: philosophy, psychology, maybe.

I think this lacked a hook, lacked concrete imagery or directed subject to aptly apply. It was well written and haughty. It's a Poet idealist in love with fancy words that want to connect and reveal a deeper meaning which I could not fully devise.

I think you are on to something with this.

RR


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Oddman has odd syntax and style in approach that first gave me thoughts of a Gertrude Stein classic. I'm thinking the rhyming and meter were raw and unrefined. There is a message in this poem that relates well to readers and is unkempt like the cluttered mind that needs order.

It was entertaining and unusual as poetry goes. Thank you for sharing.

RR


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Review of Engraved  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like idealism in poetry where we want to find ourselves in a shinier world. Definitely a poem foremost about spirituality, which you could add as a genre.

The syntax was off and you misspelled rain. Otherwise the message was strong, raw and searching for meanING. I think the Poet was in the moment like the described shine, and in this portal connecting with a message to translate to the world.

I wish I could connect to it better.

RR


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Review of The Beach  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Christopher Roy Denton ,

In completing your entry for the Verdant poetry contest, I could learn a form I have never used and appreciate with the provided link how well you completed each aspect of the rules laid out.

You added alliteration and applied a solid final two lines that serve as a sentimental and touching summation for this poem. Using the form correctly, there is an ease about the poem that allows me to gently consume the theme with clear intent and easy connection to any reader.

I think if I took points away from this, it would be hard. But, the poem directly describes rather than implies, It's emotion is felt but seems more directed than suggestive this way. For instance: instead of telling us 'daughter' you could suggest 'I take her tiny hand in mine,' as a for instance.

I also stumble on cliché phrases. They are hard to avoid when I write. I try come original when I pen, even if it means I will lose readers who don't have patience to discover underlying theme or expressions. In your poem, the lone weakness in language is, 'summer sun smiles down on me." The alliteration peaks here. I sacrifice alliteration over language like this everytime I recognize I've done this.

Upgrading to a better expression might take time and effort. I think your poem would benefit greatly with a unique depiction that could invoke senses. It may just rely on adjectives for sun, or avoiding sun but implying how it envelops the narrator with feelings in that scene.

You are constrained by form. That is your obligation. You have an opportunity with this poem, and I think material that could inform another poem and more -- with concentration on this slice of life to further reflect in any other style or form you like.

You have a great construct at work that could easily land the Verdant trophy. You could reel additional trophies personally from this exploit. Excellent work!

Brian

* Saw your comment this morning in newsfeed on Rachel's post and arrived to support a fellow writer and commend your effort. Thank you for the link.


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello,

When I see a poem like this, I ask myself how as a reviewer to best offer feedback, especially when auto-rewarded. I investigate more from description to genre to writer bio to learn a little more. Then, there is the approach to just give your gut reaction and don't sugar coat it.

You paint a stark, darkly humorous image of someone, maybe a disliked child, who died after eating a pencil that stuck in his throat. And gore, forced to rhyme, implied to me a situation I see as remorseless. The narration seemed voyeuristic like another child watching, enjoying, not helping. It's through the attempt to sound funny that it seemed sadistic and cruel. 'Bob would eat anything' I can assume little brother. Or, I think of a school setting.

If you went for disturbing, it worked. It's not artfully crafted, but I see it's appeal to like-minded adolescents. I see it is the open to (or ending of) something chillier than a Goosebumps book.

Brian


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear alisony ,

I can really put myself in the scene created by this poem. It reminds me how we can simply but eloquently describe our surroundings with an emotional connection to it. This poem reads how words should expressively move on the page. And, you send it off right with the last line, punctuating the poet's whistful feeling, no doubt inspired in a moment to pen these emotions into words:

"with stars freshly imprinted
on my eyelids."

The broken umbrella was the bittersweet, deft touch of someone letting how they feel slip through in the describing of mostly inanimate objects, that you/narrator say goodnight to. It might be that thing that just always sits there that we think might still have purpose. It represents how we feel about ourselves and we protect our broken umbrellas.

There's obligation to have to go outside, which I relate, and take care of these things set up outside our living spaces for purpose like entertaining. It reminds our little place is meant to encourage gatherings. This person is alone with dog. It helps set the mood.

Very short and to the point. I can imagine many readers would connect to this, as lonely people. I think we are all lonely in some way. When we write like this, we hope another like-minded romantic (perhaps) will see and agree.

Nicely done,

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer


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Review of After It All  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Mar Prax ,

I see a poem making an impactful point about the effect of war on a soldier, i assume. it is something that could go beyond war. I think brevity has served poetry well. I think here the writer has only a brief skirmish with the subject. this is worthy of deeper inspection, further perusal. an opportunity exists for the writer to challenger oneself, to really lay out something on these theme of drowning memory.

If it's true experience, then it would be difficult. I grapple with subjects and fail because it's too real. I'm not ready to deal. A brave writer would find something sobering in this to waken our hearts to realization of how cruel war.

One suggestion for improvement would be to replace 'they' with 'it' in second line. Thank you for sharing,

Brian



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Review of Scars  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Aur Dawn ,

I felt something at work here after reading the description line to this poem. The integral word 'diamonds' might be implied, but not revealed in the context to deliver potential impact.

I like the idea of brevity. In poetry, it can grab a reader with a deft touch. I would think the idea of tears leaving scars works better with diamonds flowing. Otherwise, the narrator would have been crying a long time.

As the creator, you know best how these tears and diamonds work together. I think it gives you an opportunity to describe more.

I think of those words as a final, sad send off to something. It feels like the end to a sad drama we've all experienced upon a time.

Brian


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Review of Longing  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Josh,

I spied this poem on the review pages and noted your poem was awarded a blue ribbon. I had to check your bio to learn more about you before offering feedback.

There is something simple and earthen at work here. You've taken three truncated statements that show progression. The narrator talks about rain falling expressively/suggestively and how the shower produces worms from the ground. That experience is then related to how the subject feels with an aching soul.

That in essence is how poetry is created. Congrats on the award and high marks. Hopefully, this adulation doesn't deter you from growing as a writer. I believe you can develop your gift here.

Brian


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Review of The Note  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Cubby ,

I read with some pleasure your mono-rhyme described as children's genre with a story of a shopping trip gone awry. It gave me a tickle to see this silly adventure unfold. I knew from the open with the intentional bad grammar we were in for a ruse.

I see this was written some time ago and edited as recently as 2019. I wondered if the author was trying to improve upon it and had some thoughts of my own. Just a casual observer and thought it would be fun to ponder the possibilities with the poem's creator.

The mono-rhyme was a good prompt but mid-way through the read I was about ready to be done with it. I think at this point it lost a little luster as words were being reused, as with boat three times, twice in successful sentences. And, it had taken on an internal rhyme to boot.

I liked the story of forgetfulness. I think adults would chuckle at this too, especially as we age and forget. I think if this person is shopping for a goat at the store and can't remember, they are awfully silly and a bit looney. I think you could add more looney to the story. Everything this person does should be odd. It would be easy to pull down a rhyming dictionary on the internet and collect a bunch of non-sensical nouns.

Now, if you're not into revising this, you could, and maybe already have, make it part of a series. Perhaps, instead of first person narration, use third and give this person a funny name as they go on all kinds of weird adventures like this. It would add the ability to describe this person, who I imagine would do well to describe themselves in first person, probably with more of a haphazard aplomb.

Prompts are great, aren't they? They set us on adventures to find our goats. You may be half way to finding gold, I feel, if you keep striving to develop this. It might require easing up on the mono-rhyme. I'm not sure. It lends to this. I just think you could add more color and silliness about this person's forgetfulness and you might find more than just a kid's audience, if you play it right.

I think of stories that parents like to read to their kids because they get it and the kids get something from it, too. A common bond or connection is formed this way and is among the most desired books nostalgically remembered in this house. I'm reminded of the intelligence and entertainment value of a Pixar movie. You don't have to aim that big, but they get their theme across to both audiences.

Best to you,

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer



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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I read your article after seeing someone else had recently reviewed it and thought I'd read and possibly send feedback. I must say this is a surprising article see posted here. It's something that was on the tips of everyone's tongues for awhile, but in this day and age, most have moved on to other topics of interest. To me, it's about as dead as theories about JFK's assassination.

Your article reminds me of the National Enquirer type of stories I would see years back. It alleges information but does not provide sources or supporting evidence. Nevertheless, it is an ongoing, interesting subject matter to consider as you re-examine all the rumors, legend, folklore we've heard that have grown over time during many recounts. The truth may be lost in all the embellishments. You may want to ask why so many varied back stories and odd people come forward and not reputable folk who have the resources and desire to bring this fully to light.

Your article seems to ask or raise more questions than it answers and cites a video as evidence that may or may not still exist somewhere on the internet. You should hunt it down and link, if it is found. This is an example of what lends credibility to your article, rather than a lot of third to fourth party and beyond assertions that lack the true eyes and ears to assemble and inarguable offering of what might be best described as circumstantial evidence. Corroboration is the key in the finality.

Overall, the wow factor is there. The grammar needs to be run through a checker of some kind. I think this could read cleaner. You could focus on those assertions less aimlessly and discover each in the paragraphs, staying on point and following a progression to conclusion.

The best way to write an article like this is to make a thesis and tell how you will support it. Save the summary for the conclusion(s) you make for this. Or, the ending would be an appropriate time for all the questions. It reminds me of a lot of television episodes that do this in closing before credits. Tantalize with some folklore, mystery, items of interest and then ask your questions about what they mean.

You risk sounding like a conspiracy theorist with no true aim or focus, if you cannot directly draw lines from evidence to conclusions in an undeniable reveal/manner. Look at parts of these Roswell stories that are strongest and connect all those pieces to be the center (or breath) of the story.

Thanks for sharing this,

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer



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Review of Home  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Aur Dawn ,

This is a very nice and neatly wrapped up expression for finding home in another. It read a lot like music lyrics and has a quality to it that is melancholy and relatable to a reader such as I who dabbles in words relating loss without another to complete self or a vision sought.

In my personal opinion this is raw and could use a tighter edit, but could see it get over edited and lose some of its charm. It's the author's discretion how this poem reveals, but I'll throw a few for instances at you to see if my thoughts could coalesce with your vision for this poem.

I'll start by pasting sections of poem and showing other looks I imagined when I read this:

It was nice, it was warm
In your heart, that felt like home


Lyrical already and has a nice easy flow. I wondered at first about the use of verbs. Simple is sweet, but want to impact with each word used. Just a thought, but not anything I would necessarily suggest changes for from this point going forward as I read further, anticipating where this will flow...

Protected from rain
And from the storm
These days more
I miss my home


Words are good, maintain simplicity. But, I got tripped up a little by sentence structure affecting flow. Suggestions I suggest might differ from view of poem, but just for consideration of how I viewed.

Okay, stop. I read again and can make a case for 'these days more' that while awkward at first seem to fit flow okay. The poem is light on syllables per line and the tightness of read can make it difficult to keep this smooth. It was just three syllables on that line that got me more. Something to consider when you write is to make this dance with words last long enough to switch feet on each beat (my expression). If you move too fast or slow, the dance becomes awkward for a reader. My only concern, I suppose here.

My children might ask
Where am I from
I'll mention your name
There was my home


Here is where I would visualize this expanding to a wider audience who might not have children, but experience this emptiness the same. This line is personal to you, but I see a version uncoupling from the personal pronoun 'my' and leave 'children might ask/Where I'm from...' flipping 'am I' because I think it would flow better, despite tight read of lines.

I prefer 'I mention your name' versus 'I'll' in third line. And, 'There was my home' while effectual is somewhat awkward for me. Would 'He was my home,' be too on the nose?

I learn sometimes a little rearranging of words opens up other expressions that help the structure of a verse or poem, once re-envisioned. So, that is my suggestion for that section there.

But I chased my dreams
Started to roam
Got lost on the road
Far away from home


Good. Keep it. It fits lyrically as a song, matches the simple sweet-bitterness of the poem. It's a structural point in this writing where the narrator opens up the door to the experience, regret and perceived pain that we the readers can connect to. We say, Amen!

It was nice, it was warm
In your heart it felt like home


Excellent echo back to the open, your chorus. This brings full circle the opening reflection and re-explains what a reader might have been fuzzy about, what we experienced, felt and shared along the way in a very brief and poignant poem.

If I were writing something like this, I would overwork it until the bones of the thing weren't as good anymore. I would be trying to reach for words and expressions that would intone deeper meaning, the hardest lessons. This poem proves you don't need to be verbose, can be direct with easy expressions sweet to taste.

I think the poem invokes what touchstone represents. We can all connect with it and have these feelings of our own that while not the same are similar from experience, our humanity shared.

Well done and thanks for sharing,

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer



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Review of Green  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very progressive grasshopper. Knows what it likes and wants. It identifies by it's color, a strong green locust.

Big reveal at end of this poem because the narration had me thinking it was a person or the poet speaking of preference. Could have sold me this was an Irishman.

I wondered if grasshoppers change color to adapt. Googled a little about that, gave me something to ponder, including what colors they actually see.

Humans might be limited in ability to see color compared with other insect and animal species.

Good stuff to consider

Brian


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Review of Raising Ophelia  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear {super:wildone},

Where have all the good reviewers/writers gone? I had but once learned:

"You've definitely captured something...here - an almost muted, but still very present eroticism in the building of images; the contrasts upon which experience depends...and so leads to risk, and even possible crisis; and you have an ease with words and diction here, along with well-placed rhymes ... that is really layered and draws the reader into this world that is both strange and oddly natural."

As do you. Well captured visuals that stir emotions for this reader. Great reaction to Shakespeare's Ophelia. Bit awkward was line three that required punctuation where I stumbled. Wasn't sure I fully followed rhyme scheme. I write freeverse now.

Thanks for your past reviews,

Brian
C.R.


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Review of Resonance  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello James Munz ,

I found your poem listed as one of the new or "newbie" writers here and decided to look in and possibly provide feedback.

Honesty is what I feel writers want from reviewers; however, this site heavily leans on positive and encouraging interactions from this process. Pardon me if what I offer seems limited in the detail I could give from my thoughts, as I feel an obligation to this community to provide input that aligns within accordance of the values set forth that distill the reviewing process.

That said, I will temper honest revelations with what I see needs improvement.

This offering of yours is brief and reads quick and smooth and plays with words as expressions that have some vibrancy to them. The overall message and theme of the poem does not reveal in your description line, though I get a flavor of its genre as philosophy, spiritual and tribute. I get the philosophy angle primarily from this.

When I read poetry like this, I'm reminded of the spare thoughts shared by e.e. cummings in what I think was a final anthology of his previously unpublished work. To me, you are using some clever words as imagery related to the narrator as a complex, wired machine. Though, I think it might more about the process of one's personal creativity or ideation that sets oneself apart uniquely.

I find the writing to be a bit oblique and not concretely tied to a particular vision forming in my head about what I am to visualize. It is purely the spirit of the author being ascribed colorful words. It feels like you could get more from this experience if you associate it directly, comparatively in a way readers can relate. I cannot offer detail on what that would be, since this is the property of the author, and in accordance with their vision can only suggest providing more detail for a heightened experience for consumers of your art.

This poem to me reads as something deeply personal to you and is just the beginning of what I believe the writer in you can express moving forward with your skill, having mastered some visual word play.

Continued good writing to you,

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer


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Review of Crafting you.  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear Sammy ,

I like what you are trying to do here. The description line helps me realize your vision for this poem. Sometimes, it's hard to get the vision right. The simplicity of the poem itself is essentially what makes it special. I have a few suggestions and an example for you to consider.

Since there is no real person, but a construct at work, is the personal pronoun 'I' necessary? Looking at this, it would be hard thing to edit out or restructure for the purpose of getting the reader to become the viewer of the thing you wish to bring to life. Is there a way to speak of this in third person that would allow a reader to still assume the narrator is in the poem?

If I could speak
I would talk.


Did you mean 'it'? If you did, it would change the whole thrust of that open and maybe the scope of what I am now reviewing. because the following lines"


If I could paint
it would be the Mona LIsa.
If I could construct
it would be the Taj Mahal.


I like the concept of this. It shows the ability, what's inside of us yearning to escape. I think as writers we all feel this is in us, but how to tap into it?

One word
a single brushstroke.


Nice. I see this as a great hook to open a poem. Riff off that because it feels like the starting point. It does serve well as the midpoint to this, jumping off the idea the poet must take the journey of a thousand miles with that first step, but with artistry and specific purpose...not an aimless journey.

Sentences
voice my thoughts on you.
Together
with layer on layer.
My words build you.


This part is where you may have felt the Taj Mahal wasn't being constructed and may have just ended it there. I think your paintbrush would agree you threw in the towel too early on this poem. Where was it going to go? It does, ironically show, the artist still struggles to tap into that gift of creativity. Anyone ever get poetic describing sentence construction? It's a boring process, but I'll bet if you google you'll find some inspiring words you could feed off.

This is a poem worthy of further consideration, even if it is never successfully painted like Mona. It is part of the writer's process to greater works. Who painted Mona, I'm not sure. But, I'll bet they struggled until she found acclaim. And maybe, not in that artist's lifetime. Davinci, maybe. Rembrandt, likely. Others, I've heard stories they had to die before fame found their works.

Pleasure to consider. Your poem does inspire thought and helps me carry forward thoughts about constructing poetry and envisioning potential talent. Keep writing,

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer






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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Becka Altea ,

This was a pleasure to read with unique word choices, expressions and form that catapults a reader from stanza to stanza. What was a change of pace was the use of masterpiece, that if you don't look up the expression, you won't fully comprehend it's like a triumph of hunting.

Applying words like bright in ears as expression was the most difficult to relate. I enjoyed, however, working on that. That's why as readers we ponder over word usage to get the message. It's better than a Sunday crossword, because we have arbitrary rules for consumption and reconstruction.

I chose not to look up all the definitions for bright. Someone could really have fun with a thesaurus changing all the intended words into something more reaching. That's what makes your poem fun to consider.

Great use of repeated words with surprise ending to show hunting is for the strong of mind and/or barbaric. I think this poem speaks to guilt and preservation of nature. It's like shooting that bird was like shooting one's soul to haunt dreams.

Sorry to wrap up review so quick, but it was a pleasure to read,

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found this to be very informative, however, as essays go I thought the writer was supposed to formulate an opinion or move the conversation forward. I did not see a thesis sentence or a conclusion that would take this evidence and put it in a new light.

Having said that, this was very informative and gave me insight into Freud and Jung that I found useful as a reader. The knowledge I obtained about dream analysis was intriguing and well written, for that matter. This gave me new insights into the way our unconscious minds work.

In thinking about your paper, I think Jung owes much to Freud. He essentially took dream analysis and ran with it in his own way. I was not aware that the two became popular because of this rising interest. But, I suppose it makes sense. Before modern time, I imagine it was safer to have your dreams studied than to be psychoanalyzed, which could be implied or inferred that you were half way to the looney bin. It was a safe method of studying the unconscious while getting at how your mind was processing thought through dream.

This paper did go into some detail about how the two approached dreams and the basis for their interpretation, beyond this mysticism of early times when they were not so clinically studied or revealed.

Thanks for sharing this,

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer


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Review of Dusk  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello!

I have to say, Wow, so much imagery and great depictions in this raw poem with great potential. I was casually reading before the lyrical nature of this poem quickly appeared and helped me visualize what was going on with this presentation.

I would, if I were with you in person, go over this poem line by line. I see places to revise, restructure a bit, and help focus and theme while knowing fully what the author has intended. I feel I'm a bit of a bystander just letting this wash over me and seeing clearly the images you portray. I'm also capture by some unique expressions. So, I will attempt to highlight good stuff and point out areas that I see that could use improvement.

The trees arms and describing 'splintered fingers' was raw but beautifully started to set up this, to me, melancholy visualization being relayed from poet to reader. While you could restructure the phrasing a bit, I'm fully realizing at this point.

This line, 'a jiggardly fro/
with its rick rack veins...'


Awkward yes, but the lyrical, sing-songy feel I stumbled upon didn't rely on comprehending the full meaning of the words but the unique way a jazz player throws his fingers down at the keys of a piano. I wanted more of that. 'jiggardly' alone leaves me wondering, while rick rack (probably hyphenated) seems colloquial, and I needed more of that type of that language in the poem. Or, not at all, but captured with similar phrasing in a separate poem where you could be describing something even more animate.

Whoa-ho! "...seen through a glass square eye..." I've never considered looking through a window with this in mind. We forget that it's framed, that the glass is all that allows us to visualize with the parts cut out. A cropped image, if you will. This is an expression you can hang your hat on, try to compare when you write. It's impossible to fill a poem chock full of expressions as worthy of this. Just know it is part of the framework, the diving rod for all imagery when you come up with something like this. Like that clever jazz player, play off of it. It's your touchstone. Have I gone on long enough?

Okay, the not so good stuff that could use some help...

I will go line by line, but quickly. Let's start out verse by verse....

The dusk grey sky is on the move

*Bullet* I like 'dusk grey' but I prefer it hyphenated to show how the words work together.

-this dusty yellow night

*Bullet* I think this is vague. Is it the horizon? Why is it dusty? questions I have that I can only fill with is it hazy, smoggy, dirt rising up from a road? Needed a little more to go on.

the clouds, are departing
quickly.


*Bullet* Unusual separating that into two lines, which I assume was for emphasis. You can do better than 'departing' using clever descriptions. In fact, we using common names early on with scene setting. What do these clouds like similar to how you're going to describe the tree, for example.

Trees of arms stretched. Splintered
fingers reaching, unable
to make a difference
clouds pass every day


*Bullet* 'Trees of arms' was awkward. As like clouds, do trees have to be named. Let's just saw you're looking at a canvas as an abstract artist. You are painting images with your interpretive instruct. You could just say arms, if you've already set the scene and we would either immediately know they are from trees, or we'd investigate a little as we read and learn.

One mistake poets don't like to make is repeating words, as you've used clouds again and I think stretching another time. Have to flex the language muscles and find unique and creative ways to say the same thing without duplication.

This night is different.
Natures animation; a jiggardly fro
with its rick rack veins spreading
reaches, straining


*Bullet* Fun verse. But the night is different was too plain. I think you have to reach deep down and find what it was about this experience that inspired the poet to share. And, try to avoid repeating words that are too on the nose like night. Poetic words like black, noir, ebon, etc. come to mind, but it is however you would associate this 'different' mood. Is it eerie? Like a calm before a storm? If a person were to examine what makes it different, it could be in us. It could be that something is missing?

The downside of jiggardly is, while I see it as tree tops bouncing and the tree limbs after as veins are spreading, it doesn't connect fully as a visual image as displayed. They sound great together, but don't look great together. It's an opportunity to split them up. Go back up to description of branches and add the veins part. But, have fun like the jazz man and compliment jiggardly in one verse with a comparative images of motions, as well as the rick rack veins in the other verse with something. Should you break them up, rewrite. I'm just the messenger helping you re-envision something with pretty good potential and possible hone your writing craft along the way. Not saying I'm an expert or master, but been around the block and have read a poem or two, as well as wrote, in my time.

The paper cut, black silhouettes
of trees, move in unison
-a declaration of chaotic harmony
and unrest.


*Bullet* Repeating trees. Too on the nose, like before. You're good at expressions and depictions. I like silhouettes. The paper cut to me was unclear. I like move in unison. Sometimes, with a storm whipping up, things in trees do separate but then come back to swirl in motion together. I can visualize this. Perhaps, working on your poem in a way structured by some progression. You can put these scenes in some congruent, orderly event playing out on paper/screen.

A declaration of chaotic harmony and unrest is good, because you do get to summarize at the end as the author. This gets us inside your personal essay on the whole thing.

The silent motion
seen through a glass square eye
is quiet, calm

and almost welcome...


*Bullet* I read this and had two thoughts at the outset. Must be some thick, double or triple paned glass if you can't hear what's going on outside, or headphones. *Laugh* You do repeat redundantly *Bigsmile* with silent and quiet.

Great expression smack dab in the middle. I wonder if starting that last verse with that statement about the window described could roll you into a better ending. I think readers might wonder what they missed when they see 'almost welcome'. Did I miss some of the poet's emotional indicators and reactions to this scripted storm? If you want that, weave in words that could relate to feelings you want to express.

Not sure you need to end on three periods. Maybe, you weren't sure at that point if you were done?

Anyhow, a pleasure to read, consume and comment. Much to consider and inspiring to a reader to put this all together.

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer
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Review of Pick Me  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear willow ,

This was very lovely to read. This piece is so relatable with images of being in this scene that I can imagine. Some of the words and expressions used punctuate moments throughout the poem that connect senses with scene.

If I could run through the poem briefly:

They wave and they dance
on a gentle breeze.


This was a nice open. This use of movement already going off title and description line prepares me for what is a poetic moment in nature and waiting to full focus on what is about to be described, so I may use my own eyes to see.

Delightful and bright
so eager to please.
The sight, the scent,
my eyes, my nose,
the touch of soft yellow
against my clothes.


There's a lyrical quality here being added with words like 'bright' and 'soft yellow' as imagery and sensory type descriptions. If I could suggest anything to improve this experience is try not to explain so much, do this interpretive dance more by what you feel and we'll pick up on the imagery through those word choices. For instance, 'the sight, the scent' is a little too on the nose. It's alliteration and sing-songy feel are important...but, you could leave this out entirely, as 'my eyes, my nose' says the same thing, leaving you room to explore more and add more from this harmonious scene.

I waltz very slowly
absorbing the sun,


Maybe, 'very slowly' doesn't match the intensity and feel of everything else. I imagine the waltz is inspired by a feeling, obviously it can be assumed a spring day is the inspiration amid flowers and a warm sun. Describe the waltz in relation to how you commune and respond to nature...like how some deft dancers are described...I'm coming up short here, but floating, nimble or twirling, spinning, or with gaiety. Sorry, just trying to suggest something stronger. Maybe, something that matches the two lines below:

my barefoot and coolness
of meadow grass are one.


And, now I'm getting something akin to Julie Andrews about to sing 'the hills are alive...'

I bend with the wind
slide down the green stem
plucking the prized flower
and smiling within.


This in itself is the interpretive dance, and what you are building to. Such a great visual right down to smoothly picking that bloom. I can feel in my mind my own hand as a child sliding down the hollow stem of a dandelion or stiff stem of a daisy.

A handful of sunshine
buds blossoming still
Opening my heart
with your sweet spirit fill.


Two thoughts. First, what a great go to: 'handful of sunshine' but soon to become cliché. You could stretch for a greater expression, if you desire. It works perfectly, though. Second, is that last line. I like it. I would like it more if you put more emphasis on 'fill'. If you broke off that line and put that last word at the bottom, I see that working. If just a comma, or some other space maker, it would do. That's kind of like your ending note. I think you want to hold it after pulling off this symphony.

Pleasure to read, consume and comment. Thank you for sharing,

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer


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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a sweet little poem celebrating and immortalizing love, making it permanent because it is written down.

I especially enjoyed the expression, 'the blueprint of you.' Seems someone is about to patent the other here.

About the regarded eternal, and making grand gestures like these is what seems eternal but is delusional, but acceptable to lovers and poets. It's not because it's transcribed, it's that process of setting words into motion shared. That's where it feels like forever. It's about freezing time, making it stop to linger over love. And, each time the page is retrieved, read, it slows to a standstill again.

It reminds we should be in constant reflection about what we got. The more we do this, the more transcendent.

Good job,

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer


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249
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Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I found your free verse poem on the reviewing pages and thought I'd peruse and offer feedback.

This reminds me of a poem written to share with a love with its glowing revelations of fated bliss. I saw some poetic devices at work to make the words symbolic, comparative to love. What it lacked wasi a cohesive theme and supporting metaphors.

You described love like water, but it is not threaded throughout poem. Things should tie together, unless there is a progression of elements used as theme, since you make use of fire, too, by way of spark.

Poem does not break new ground for expressions, sticking with the tried and true. I might suggest this works better as prose, a monologue. It's empassionated discourse celebrates love.

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer.



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Review of Sensory Overload  
Review by Brian K Compton
In affiliation with Circumpolar Reviewer *ALL CASE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Tiffers ,

You examine and show conditions that could inflict frustration for an anxiety sufferer in your poem in a way I can understand. You set up shared social environs where constant noises disrupt.

In someways I can get the point of what you express, but maybe it's too general in terms like voices, clangs, bumps. I'd like to see a scene or scenes described. There are shared social experiences waiting to unfold. The clostrophobia of a subway, mall, restaurant, grocery store. Clinics, waiting rooms, family gatherings, etc. bring all kinds of people into mix.

You could have annoying people on their phones, rambunctious kids, and traffic. I think you say a lot and this poem suffices. I think you could really bring it home with a day in the life from scene to seen dealing with the most annoying things. You do well to show how it affects the narrator physically and emotionally.

This is a good poem and a great vehicle for sharing and describing these experiences and how they impact a sufferer. Great end with forcing a smile. That says a lot about social conformity.

Brian
Circumpolar Reviewer


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