Hello, Denine!
Thank you for requesting a review from "Only Chapter One " 
Before I start, do not forget,
writing's an art, so do not fret
if you should find that I am blind
to your fine flair, and be aware
this opinion — it is but one.
When approaching your opening chapter, I'm searching for specific elements that separate the chaff from the wheat, and each will be addressed under a different header.
Today I'm reading
Hook — does your opening have something that stops this reader putting down your book?
 
Blood and a closed door are good, but the beginning is damaged by too many tense shifts and an unclear vision. Twilight began with a similar future flash of action to provide the hook, and it can work. However, in this future flash it was unclear whether the nails were to secure the door or for something else, and the blood seemed unrelated to anything actually happening.
I think you could make this into a good opening hook, but only if you make it much clearer what's going on and link it all more clearly together.
Characters — are they well rounded?
Kyle is a very sympathetic character, and Stella is interesting. You may have made her interest in Kyle a bit too obvious, but it's difficult to say at this point in the story. Stella's apparent inability to recognize Kyle after he "comes back" was a little confusing, but hopefully that's cleared up as the story progresses. I'm really curious about who and what Ari is. She's really good, and it'll be interesting to see how that develops.
Plot — does your first chapter introduce or hint at the main conflict?
Great conflict. Good end hook. Interesting plot development.
As I said elsewhere, Stella's attraction to Kyle may be a bit overplayed, and I'm not sure about the way she didn't recognize him after he died.
The fragments of a soul thing seemed a tad over complex to me. But it may work out as the story progresses.
There was a bit at the end that didn't make much sense to me, though. The part where the man in black wants Kyle to get close to Stella and he seems to think that might be difficult. Given how Stella has been all over him since the start of the novel, and he has an ongoing "study date" thing with her on this story, plus he's working with her on the play, plus she's just given him her number and AKSED him to contact her if he needs anything, I really, really don't see how he can think it's going to be difficult. You might like to make Stella a lot less friendly and forward toward Kyle if you want that conflict to appear plausible.
Pace — does your story feel like it's going somewhere?
This felt long for an opening chapter, with many changes in scene. To be honest, you might like to think about more cliffhanger breaks, for example, when Kyle dies, you might like to end the first chapter just before he dies and so leave a cliffhanger for the reader as to whether he dies or not.
Language and voice — does this reader 'feel' the story?
Generally, this is a well shown story. You do, however, need to read it through aloud and identify the many places where you have simple errors in grammar or missing words. I've listed a few below.
Notes:
Hammering the last nail in place, I stare at the door numbly. I knew I should feel more than just the cold air, but didn't. Blood drips from my hands. - be careful with tenses. If you wish to use the present tense with past aspect, that's great. I love books written in the present tense. The Hunger Games is one of my favourite books — first person, present tense. However, here you swap tenses from one sentence to the next. That can easily confuse the reader.
The splash of the individual drops on cobblestone fill my ears. - when writing out any sentence, ensure that the subject and the verb inflexion agree. Here, for example, "the splashes" (plural) would agree with "Fill", but "the splash" (singular) does not. I think that such errors creep in during editing, when an author changes part of the text but neglects to change the rest. If you read your text aloud, you'll probably pick up on any obvious issues like this one.
Most all the students already in class. - this is an unclear sentence fragment. I'm a fan of fragments, myself. I think they better present the mind of the viewpoint character. However, you need to ensure that they're clear, eg. The majority of students already in class. Some purists would say that you shouldn't use fragments, and so you'd need a verb, eg. The majority of students had gone to their classrooms.
My teacher sighed when I came in but didn't say anything, as usual. - you might want to establish here gender here and sketch her appearance a little. As it was, I imagined a guy until the following paragraph when "she" is used.
"The drama club? Seriously? That's beyond lame." I sounded, exasperated. - Be careful not to "tell" something that you've already shown. Here, the tone of the speech very effectively shows that the character is exasperated, so to state it after is overkill.
She just started dating, Derek Walker. - NO COMMA before Derek Walker. You only place a comma between the sentence and a person's name if they're being addressed by the sentence. You might like to use his full name in the opening scene, with the jag, to make the connection clearer. Maybe even mention "Derek with the Jag" here.
The same Derek Walker, that had terrorized me all throughout - it's a style issue, not grammar, but usually it's "who" not "that" when speaking about a person, ie. who had terrorized
Derek had dark hair that was long for a mans, a square jaw - either "long for a man" or "long for a man's".
We wouldn't want to squish the little Shakespearians, now would we? - depending on how smart you want him to sound, thespians might sound better here.
but she was one of the lead parts, not bad either. - since he's clearly paying attention, you might like to SHOW this rather than TELL it by, maybe, giving some example of her saying a line or two, and Kyle's emotional reaction to her actions. This would have the added advantage to clueing some people in on the play and her part.
Wasn't much food in the fridge, mostly condiments, - When setting a scene like this, don't forget the sensory element. If, for example, the fridge stank when he opened the door, and there was a sandwich four weeks out of date, covered in green mold, the setting would have more impact.
and a bottle of water and went back to dad. - when using "dad" as a proper noun, it's Dad. When a common noun, it's dad. Here, it should be Dad.
"Ya-yeah," I stuttered - again, don't show and tell the same thing. If he's stuttering in speech, no need to say it straight afterward. Believe it or not, there's a standard style for stuttering in a narrative. 
http://fandom-grammar.livejournal.com/14121.html
You should write "Y-Yeah."
The bell rang snapping me out of my thoughts. How long had I stared at Jennifer? - Jennifer? Do you mean Stella? I'm getting confused.
she said bouncing on her feet, and turning to me with sparkle in her eyes. "with a sparkle in her eyes"
but he was in the army and had to leave at 4:00 in the morning - at this point, I had plausibility issues. Now, i know nothing at all about the US Army and its structure, so if you do then please forgive me for my ignorance. But, if a guy was in the army and he had a family, wouldn't he be allocated a house on a base for his family to use rather than having to drive a long distance into work? Also, wouldn't his alcoholism be an issue if he's on active duty? As I say, I know nothing about the army, but it just seemed a weird set of facts to me.
I had a terrific sketch I made of Stella on the inside of my binder. - it's a kind of unwritten rule of creative writing that if you have a plot device that's important (for example, a knife that will soon be used to stab somebody, or a gun that the protagonist will use to defend themselves) then that item should be foreshadowed. I seem to remember Brandon Sanderson recommending three foreshadowings, but I think two would be sufficient. So, in this case, you should have a) Kyle shown sketching people earlier on in the story, and b) Kyle shown sketching Stella in English class earlier today. Otherwise, this sketch comes out of nowhere and so has less impact.
"I'll kill you," he repeated softly in my ear with the same cold voice. - too repetitive, so it loses impact. Think about something more specific and realistic, eg. "What shall I start with? Maybe I should bite your ear off, Mike Tyson style."
"That's enough!" A boys shout, muffled. - boy's
"Yeah, I think he's had enough" I heard Seth agree. - you've never mentioned a "Seth" before, so this is weird here.
who died at 19 years of age, by a drunk driver. - use words not numerals for small numbers, ie. who died aged nineteen, killed by a drunk driver.
What if this was actually hell? - Hell, it's a place, proper noun
"To heaven. This isn't heaven here of course. - Heaven, it's a place, proper noun
Please, I can't leave. I'm only 17! - again, use writing rather than numerals for small numbers. I'm only seventeen.
Settings — is this reader grounded in 'real' scenes?
I enjoyed the limbo scene. Very vivid. The general settings could do with a bit more detail, especially the senses of smell, touch, and taste. For example, on the stage, there will be specific scents, like the smell of fresh paint from the scenery in the process of being painted in preparation for the new production. Stella, in particular, should have some specific smell attached to her. Remember how Gale always smelled of the wilderness to Katniss, or Edward smelled somehow divine to Bella?
Themes — is this reader blown away by mind-blowing philosophy or originality?
The bullying theme is great, but there's nothing amazingly original that really made me gasp. I do, however, like demon and angel type stories, so I enjoyed where you were going theme-wise.
Conclusion — a summary of how this reader personally felt about your opening.
Personally, I loved this. For me, the characters were the best thing about this, particularly Kyle and Ari. I do hope that as the story goes on you get more conflict between Ari and Kyle, where Ari objects to his sexual attraction toward Stella etc. I like the plot, too, but felt bits were a bit complex, espcecially the fragment of a sould bit. It's just complex to understand, and when you do understand then leads you on to wonder if it's even the same person. If you're an old Buffy fan, then you'll remeber that Angel without his soul was completely different to Angel with his soul. So, the question obviously arises, is Kyle still Kyle if he's lost his soul?
Thank you for sharing your opening chapter. Good luck with your writing.
Best wishes,
Bob 
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "
This is a Newbies + Poetry Group Review 
