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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rolandeld
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377 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback.

Twisty little adaptation here! I love it! First frosty gets switched to Rudolph's song and then Frosty ends up being a hit-man. This is a unique poem that made me smile quite a bit. Darkly humorous and quiet clever at its core, this poem is an end result of quite a bit of creativity.

Great job with this poem!


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
2
2
Review of This Christmas  
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback.

This was a neat approach to this prompt. The overwhelming majority of entrants chose this poem and for the most part focused on the spider and spiderwebs as well as the creepy doll under the three. You however, took a much more abstract approach to this prompt which intrigued.

It still directly references the prompt but it does so in a more abstract way. The sort of flippant and regretful tone of the speaker was a great touch and the loneliness and "Bah humbug" nature of the speaker really comes through in the writing. I love what you did with this poem and great job!



"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
3
3
Review of Christmas Cobwebs  
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback.

I particularly enjoyed the quiet elegance of this poem. Your story vividly applied quite a few of the details from the prompt, but what is impressive is the quiet solitude of this story. In this aged, dusty, and forlorn landscape, the spider quietly goes about its day and trudges through the forgotten memories of Christmas past.

Your tone is fantastic as well as your details.

I particularly liked this line:

"The wobbly arachnid skated over dusty ornaments,"

There is great imagery here and it really is a nice touch.

Great job and please keep submitting to DDP! Happy holidays!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
4
4
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback.

*giggles excitedly and claps hands halfway through reading this one* First and foremost big round of applause for adaptation of this prompt and in particular focusing in on a detail that I was hoping someone would pick up on: the doll under the tree. In truth, the spiderwebs and dark forgotten memories are a common choice as well, but that doll has been creeping me out since we originally picked these prompts. Loved the sort of Annabelle/Krampus movie mash-up you did here and it really did make for a memorable poem. Pleasure to read and truly creepy. Great job and happy holidays!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
5
5
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback.

I've come to expect your deep and detailed backstories so often associated with our DDP prompts. Your transmogrification (excellent word there if I do pat myself on the back haha) of Krampus into Billy Grubb allowed you to meld the backstory of the fabled Anti-Santa into something of your own image. I liked your creativity and the inclusion of the child as well. Story, tone, and language are fantastic throughout and as always I have nothing but good things to say about this poem.

Great job an keep submitting to DDP. Happy Holidays!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
6
6
Review of Dust  
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback.

Wow! That was an amazing piece! You truly have built a beautiful piece here. It is brief but an amazing snapshot of the prompt we provided you with.

Of particular note, I love the line "The joy fossilized by time." Brings to mind a truly unique image. That is just a brilliant line. Also the internal rhyme with Dolls/balls is fantastic. You really captured a fantastic tone with this piece and it fits the category we desire for the DDP contest perfectly.

Great job and thank you for your submission. Happy Holidays!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
7
7
Review of The Beast  
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback.

Hello there! Thank you for your submission although I do have to point out that this poem does not seem to address any of the three picture prompts that we posted for this contest. That being said, I still would like to offer critique for this poem as it is quite good.

Agoraphobia is a truly strong phobia that for many can cause incredible problems in their life. I personally know someone who suffered from it and I know the impact it had on their life. Turning this phobia into an actual creature truly does create a physical manifestation to the strength of this phobia.

I like how you explained the emotions of the woman in the house as well and the strength the beast has over her without ever actually even toughing her.

Great job! My only regret is that it does not include one of the prompts for the DDP contest. I encourage you to continue submitting to DDP in the future!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
8
8
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback.

Wow. This picture prompt is creating some truly haunting entries! Great job with this poem. You present a ghost story of sorts with this poem by using the tree as somewhat of a remnant of a long lost family. The death of the family continues to leave its mark on the artificial tree that holds memories of what life once was for the family.

Loved your direct adaptation of the prompt and mention of details such as the spiderwebs on the tree branches and the unwrapped gifts.

Sad, dark, and haunting. This is a fantastic poem. Great job and fantastic talent shown in this poem. Thank you for submitting and Happy Holidays!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
9
9
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I absolutely loved this fantastic Christmas story! What a great job you did on this! IT no only is heartwarming but has a well-definted plot and i did not expect the twist in Harold's identity at all.

This really actually warmed my heart when I read it and in an instant I felt like I was reading a classic Christmas tale. Waht a fantastic story for the season! Great job and a hearty round holiday applause for you!

"There are other worlds than these."

-Stephen King


Roland dark tower sig

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
10
10
Review of TREE OF SOULS  
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

Oh I love how short this poem is. I just love the brevity. It almost has a feel like a cautionary nursery rhyme that is told to children to scare them out of their wits while it teaches a lesson. There is so much menace lurking beneath the surface of this poem and as such the tone of it is absolutely fantastic. Great adaptation of the prompt and kudos to a job well done with this one!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Stephen King
11
11
Review of That Evil Tree  
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

Wow I like that the tree actually has the ability to just get up and move! haha. It's been stationary for most of the other entries but with this poem you almost portray this grim tree as an evil ent. I liked that touch and liked the mystery and somewhat dramatic irony as the audience knows far more clearly than the characters in the poem.

Great job on this poem!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
12
12
for entry "The Gossip Tree
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

Clever take on this prompt and as always I expected nothing less than a clever form utilized by you for such an occasion. You did a great job of actually acknowledging a societal issue: the constant gossips of the world who sew discord chaos and (often false) rumors. It was a brilliant take on this poem and I loved the form once again.

Great job!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Stephen King
13
13
Review of The Hunger Tree  
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

Once again you submit a fantastic entry for our Halloween contest for dark dreamscapes. The best thing about this poem is again the creation of the characters and backstory and depth created. You have a great imagination and a good eye for creating a story with simply a glance at a picture. That is a real talent.

Always a pleasure to read your poems and this is a truly fantastic adaptation of the prompt for this week.

Good luck!
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
14
14
Review of Caught in a Web  
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

Great use of a creative form here. It makes a nice use of a refrain and I love the incorporation of a dryad. That was clever and creative wya to interpret this poem. Love the tone, love the guilt conveyed by the speaker, and love that refrain.

Edit: you meant dryad not dyrad.

Great job and fantastic submission here!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
15
15
Review of Fate  
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

Nice brief poem in a compact package! This is a great adaptation of the prompt and I love the alliteration in the first couple lines. The couplet to close out the poem also is a fantastic touch.

No edits to suggest on this one and great job! Keep submitting to the Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
16
16
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

This is a great entry to kick off week 4 of DDP! I find that one of the most effective tools you used to be your use of “you” when addressing the reader. By doing so, you inserted the reader into the action of the poem. It allows the reader to experience the horrors firsthand taking place in the poem and creates a character out of the reader. It’s an excellent touch.

Tone is fantastic and and so is your subject material. This is a truly evil eternity-tree and you did a nice job of building a truly creepy story.

No edits to suggest on this one. Great job and keep writing!
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
17
17
for entry "The Code
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

I am always so happy when people use a Japanese form for this contest because it always poses a challenge considering the brevity of most Japanese forms. The beauty of these forms is that they also work so well as a way to present a vignette of sorts and can help significantly when adapting a picture prompt. The challenge arises when there are so few words to work with and you employed this form beautifully. Great job and keep writing!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
18
18
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

Wow I particularly love the tone of this piece. The speaker is clearly filled with venom and hate towards the subject of the poem. The revenge is sweet for the speaker, and to the reader, the hurt and angst felt by the speaker due to the subject's disloyalty and betrayal is palpable.

I like the conversational aspect of this poem. As well as the truly realistic human emotions conveyed in the speaker's words. This truly is a gem of a piece you have here and it was a pleasure to read.

I have no edits to suggest on this one as it is pretty much perfect in the humble opinion of this reviewer. Great job and keep submitting to DDP!!!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
19
19
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

The simplicity and brevity of this piece is quite nice and always with short lines, you have (as a writer) the ability to draw in the reader. Long lines and large blocks of text can often intimidate the reader but having something compact and short often times gives the reader a chance to absorb the words much better.

Your subject is great as is your tone. The only criticism is that I would say you have a little too much repetition in your poem that does not necessarily seem as though it is actually employed as a tool to further the poem. Typically with heavy repetition, one uses it as a refrain, but within this poem for instance "the end of time" is sued three times throughout the poem and simply seems to be repeated for lack of a better phrase to take its place. The same is the case with "brewing" as well.

Now I must point out this is not a cardinal sin or anything but it does distract a little from the brilliantly painted picture you present to the audience.

Keep writing and submitting and thank you for the wonderful read!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
20
20
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

WOW! Just WOW! Slow clap for this poem with a standing ovation as well. You literally built an entire narrative around this prompt and made it work PERFECTLY! Good Lord I am yelling a lot of words in this review.

Seriously, you have created a brilliant narrative, a backstory, mythology, and even the next chapter in this story all within a 30-line poem. That is not easy.

I love the high fantasy feel of this piece, from the names to the somewhat RPG dungeon feel of the story.

I am simply struck by how well you built an entire story around this picture in a completely believable way.

Azmaroth is an amazing character and I wish I knew more of her adventures. Well done and as I said before this is a GREAT piece.

Keep writing and submitting!!!


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
21
21
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

I am a big fan of both the villanelle form and the terza rima form (When properly executed of course) and to see someone to actually combine both for a terzanelle in this contest really makes me quite happy. This is great subject material for this form and you even avoid the sometimes blatantly repetitive nature of the villanelle form with this one.

I would have liked to see a bit more of an overt reference to the prompt in this one as the connection is a little more abstract but I cannot deny that this poem is absolutely fantastic. You havre a real gem with this piece and I hope you are proud of it because I absolutely love the level of technical skill you exhibited in this poem.

Keep on writing and submitting to the DDP contest!!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
22
22
Review of Relentless  
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

The brilliance of this poem really exists in the last line. You penned a fantastically classic tale of the undead demons’ march. All the classics details are there (excellent description of the picture prompt I might add).

But you end it by comparing it to “daily morning commute”. It simultaneously made me chuckle by that comparison but yet somehow also made it incredibly accurate.

Honestly I love the originality here and I am really pleased you submitted this to DDP. Keep writing and submitting!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
23
23
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

This is a great poem. I like the stark imagery and the emphasis on the isolation of the speaker in the poem.

I find it a little difficult to connect the poem to the prompt unless the prompt represents the zombie apocalypse that led to this poem’s speaker being the last man on earth. In which case, this is a great connection. I would suggest maybe just adding a line to reference that to make it a little more overt.

Great job and keep writing!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
24
24
for entry "Specters Rise
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

Fantastic rhythm and meter on this poem! You tell a great story. It has the feeling of a tale being told as a warning to one’s child. It’s great and creepy and like I said the lyrical quality to the rhythm and meter is superb.

Loved the “pale facade” line. That one was particularly well-written.

No edits to suggest on this one as it is already great. Thank you for submitting to the Dark Dreamscapes Poetry contest! Keep writing and submitting!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
25
25
for entry "The Mob
Review by Roland King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Official Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest Review

Disclaimer: this review does not in any way suggest the order of winners or who has won the contest. This is a review only. Each entry is reviewed to give constructive feedback. Happy Halloween!

Great job on this one! Rather than a literal approach to this prompt you took somewhat of a metaphoric approach. You could interpret this as a poem about the zombies in the prompt or you can interpret as the mindless mob so often incited by aggressors in riots. It takes a close look at the frightening concept of mob mentality and frankly is a great take on this prompt.

No edits or suggestions on this one. Great job and keep writing!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Sig for halloween emails and forums

“There are other worlds than these.”

-Roland Deschain
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