I confess that the poem confuses me slightly. Victor, I am not quite sure why you are writing about being unable to wake up. You provide some insight with your mentioning of dreams. I can only assume that Stormy's request must have been for a short poem. And once again there is rhyming, which I absolutely loathe. Still this poem has many positives and it is reasonable well described.
Nice nabila. A fine combination of joy and sadness. You left this reader wanting more. The descriptions of flowers, seasons and spirits (souls and memories) truly envoke the eternal movement from life to death in a constant movement of renewal. I hope to read more from you! Cheers Nabila.
Ok.....Jessica; I hope this is not what actually happened to you. If it is, I can only say that if an ugly monster like Hitler can find true happiness, anyone can. Anyone, this is a true dark piece of work. I used to love those, years ago. So because this is not my cup of tea, I will give you a good but not brilliant score. Keep writing and hopefully Jess, next time you will write something happy and I will give it a great score. Well done!
Ok, that needs a resolution. I was enthralled from the minute you started writing. I wasn't completely clear at what point Johnny and Kevin got separated but it was fascinating. Tom, you owe it to yourself to write a followup to this story. It has everything necessary, suspense, horror, mystery, loss! I almost this story a 5 star rating; but I cannot.
Simply put a story has to be beyond brilliant for me to even consider such a score. My intention was too write a long review to collect the GPs so I can give a badge to a fellow author. But this story went beyond that; so I credit you Tom and wish you luck with your professional career. Because you would deny many people, if this was not published or had no sequel.
Ok, this is very well written. Are you a writer for Criminal Minds? Because I am definetely getting that impression. Honestly I have nothing to add to this short story except praise. And as you can tell from my reviews, I am very opinionated. If I have one complaint, its that I can't see this man being innocent at all and having a story with the ultimate suspense or reasonable twists is always high on every readers' list. Keep writing.
Interesting. I can see where you are going with this. You paint an interesting story. You had me hoping you would find happiness. Please keep writing as it is a fine poem. I like the descriptive words like shield, wheeled, concealed, pealed. Since I don't fully understand what a ghazal is, I won't penalise you for all the rhyming or use of the words my heart constantly. As I did with an earlier review, please disregard that and accept my congratulations for a fine ghazal.
Interesting. I can see where you are going with this. But the repetitous nature of my heart is slightly wearing. You paint an interesting story. But Jim; I suggest that if you want to be recognised as a world class poet that you make that alteration to your signature. Otherwise you had me hoping you would find happiness. Please keep writing as but for that, it is a fine poem.
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