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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/samuelorona/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
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1,537 Public Reviews Given
1,876 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I like poems about the struggles in life, that is something we can all relate to. If this poem is unfinished, I encourage you to finish it, you are a good poet.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't find any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked the sense of hope in finding peace that you wrote about, that contrasts with the struggles you wrote about and gives this poem balance.
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Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: You've led an interesting life, and your achievements are exceptional. Having a 4.0 GPA seems incredible to me, I had a 3.75 in the fall 2011 semester when I was carrying 12 units, and that's the best I've ever done. Congratulations to you for working so hard, you deserved to be chosen for the honor of speaking to the class at graduation.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, good job! I might make one suggestion, however: some of the states you mentioned were abbreviated, and I didn't know which states you were talking about. MA and MI are the ones I'm talking about, I don't know if MA is Montana, Massachusetts, or Maine. And I can't even guess what MI might be. There are a lot of states that start with the letter M. Maybe you could spell those states out for those of us who haven't traveled and memorized the abbreviations for the different states.

What I liked: I like how busy you've kept yourself, not only were you in college, but you were doing so many other things, too. Good luck with your writing career!
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228
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found your port because you are a fellow Simply Positive member, and I was attracted to this item because it deals with alcoholism. The main character of your song appears to be a man who didn't learn until the end of his life that drinking whiskey would ruin his life and take him away from the woman he loves.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, good job!

What I liked: I enjoyed the theme, I come from a long line of alcoholics, and the message of this song resonated with me; I haven't drank in a long time, so I seemed to have broken the pattern. I enjoyed learning from the mistakes of your character, so I don't have to make them myself.
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229
Review of The Skirt  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found your port because you are a senior mod, and I'm trying to review all case colors. I found this item because I like stories about girls showing off their legs, and doing it in a conservative environment adds to the drama. I enjoyed reading about Nancy and her rebellion, and the choice the narrator makes toward the end of the story caught me by surprise.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, but I was curious about what year/decade this story was set in, it couldn't be contemporary times, because I live close to a Catholic church, and the girls that go to the Catholic school there wear extremely short skirts. I think you should somehow work in the year or decade into the story so we can get an idea of when this story takes place.

What I liked: I liked the ending, I didn't see that coming!
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230
Review of Trayvon Martin  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found your port because you're a fellow Simply Positive member as well as a Purple case, I'm trying to review each case color. This was a well-written poem expressing the hurt and outrage of the Trayvon Martin murder. The philosophical issues you bring up make sense, such as "you are me and I am you." The sooner people realize this, the sooner we can evolve as a society instead of warring against each other.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't find any technical errors.

What I liked: I think it was wise of you to bring up Emmett Till, that case still resonates with people to this day. I'm also glad you brought up this issue and made a poem about it, to bring it to people's attention.
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Review of Freedom In Death  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a nicely written short story with a twist ending, I felt sorry for Tom and his plight, it could happen to any of us in old age. The character of Tom seemed realistic, and his situation was believable.

Errors/Suggestions: I found this mistake: a hang-gliding accident or a fall of the cliff of a mountain. I think of the cliff of a mountain should be changed to off the cliff of a mountain.

What I liked: I enjoyed the surprise ending, it is bittersweet that Tom finally found freedom, but not in the way he had hoped.
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Review of Love Potion  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I love reading love potion stories, this one had me enthralled right up to the end. I liked Tanya's motivation, because she wasn't desperate as would normally be expected in this kind of a story. The ending took me by surprise, I think this story was well-crafted. I was actually concerned that he had to be looking at Tanya when he drank the tea, and I was expecting the potion to work, but that he would fall in love with someone else.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't catch any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I really enjoyed the surprise ending! I didn't see that coming! I also like the little touch where Tanya had been instructed to stir the tea exactly three times, that makes it seem more like magic.
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Review of Seventeen  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a cute essay about the different ages the author reverts to in times of crisis, her 13-year-old self, her 12-year-old self, and her 11-year-old self. This was an interesting subject to write about, and it was creative how the author grouped specific tendencies to each particular age. I can't say I didn't relate to this, even at 41, my immature side comes out once in a while. (Maybe more often than I'd like to admit.)

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, good job!

What I liked: I liked how you attributed specific behavior patterns to each of the three individual ages, I don't know how you kept track of all of them!
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Review of Genie  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a nice little yarn that follows the old adage "be careful what you wish for." I enjoyed your take on the legend of the genie, you incorporated your own little twists into it.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't catch any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like the twist ending, it was kind of scary that the Mom got turned into a cake. You did a good job with this story! I also like the detail you added about the pearls breaking frees the genie, I thought that was creative.
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Review of Marble Warfare  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found your port because you're a fellow Simply Positive member. I like non-fiction items such as this, you had a childhood that most could probably relate to; I'm a guy and I played marbles at age 8 or so. I've never heard of a girl who played marbles as a child. He must've been your older brother if he always won all of your marbles.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any grammar, spelling, or punctuation issues, but I'm curious as to why you have so many line jumps between paragraphs. Most people skip one line between paragraphs; I've seen others skip as many lines as you do, and it isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I think it could be improved if you just had one blank line between paragraphs.

What I liked: I liked reading about a girl who played marbles as a child, that's a first for me!
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Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found your port because you're a fellow Simply Positive member. This story was interesting, with a sad ending, but well written. I enjoyed the build-up to the tragedy, and envied the successes of this wealthy couple.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, but as a suggestion, you might want to include a message about the dangers of drinking and driving. I realize that covertly, the message is already there because of the fact that the man had been drinking at a party prior to the accident, but I think the story could improve if you as the narrator actually pointed this fact out in a more obvious way.

What I liked: I enjoyed reading about the success of this couple, which made their fall from greatness all the more tragic. Tragedies like this are an important genre, too! Not all stories can have happy endings.
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Review of The Detective  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found your port because you are a fellow Simply Positive member.This was a different kind of poem from what I've read before, it tells a story of a detective who is questioning a woman who is a victim of a crime. He feels that his efforts are futile because in his quest for finding out more facts in the case, he risks psychologically damaging the victim even further.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, good job!

What I liked: I enjoyed the integrity of your detective character, he was concerned with the emotional and psychological well-being of the victim more than he was in cracking the case. A lot of cops could learn from this!
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Review of Sunrise!!  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found your port because you are a fellow Simply Positive member, and I found this item because it is a love poem, and love poetry fascinates me. Your love for Maria is obvious with these loving words you've written for her, I enjoyed reading this love poem.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, good job!

What I liked: I enjoyed the metaphors you used, like when you compared her scarlet lips to a mythical rose. Metaphors give a poem more impact, and you really seem to have a knack for using the right metaphor at the right time.
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Review of What is Love...?  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I encountered your port because you are a fellow Simply Positive member. Love poems appeal to me specifically over other types of poetry, because I haven't found the person I was meant to be with yet, so I find love poetry inspiring. This item was well-written, with an overall theme about love that I personally agree with.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, good job!

What I liked: I liked the way you engaged most of the senses, describing vision, smell, and touch as aspects of the ways you kindle your love.
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Review of You Did What ??  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a somewhat sad, and also humorous flash fiction story about a man getting fired from his job. I felt sorry for Larry, the protagonist, but the results of his slip-up were amusing to say the least! This was a very well-written story, satisfying to read; I'm not surprised that you won a contest with this item.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, good job!

What I liked: I enjoyed the surprise ending when I got to learn the nature of Larry's typo! That was hilarious!
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241
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found your port because you are a fellow Simply Positive member, and I found this item because I'm interested in knowing what different people would do if they were president of the United States. Although your item was tongue in cheek, I enjoyed it and feel that you would make a good president if you could follow through on the things you mentioned in your article.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I enjoyed the fantasy element and the colorful changes you would make! The luaus and the Hawaiin shirts sound really nice!
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Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found your port because you are a fellow Simply Positive member. I read this item, and I found it inspiring. We all have to face the death of a relative at one point or another in our lives, I'm glad your brother Blain is there to offer you courage and friendship.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked the inspiration that exists despite the negative things happening to your Aunt. We all need a relative like your brother Blain to carry us through the hard times.
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Review of Because...  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This is an interesting tribute to a celebrity, it's interesting how they can inspire us.

Errors/Suggestions: I think it would be better if people knew who Andy Biersack was, I had to Google the name to find out if he was a real celebrity or an "imaginary" celebrity living in a fictional world you created. Knowledge of who he is can have a more significant impact on the reader, because it shapes our opinion of your poem.

What I liked: I like how your idol inspired you in profound ways. I'm glad you mentioned who it was that inspired this poem, it was helpful in understanding more about this poem.
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Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a romantic, beautiful love poem written from the perspective of a woman looking back at the formative years of how she met her husband. You captured those early moments of the relationship deftly, and painted a scene that a woman could do so much better than a man. Us guys don't remember the formative time of our relationships as well as women do.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I enjoyed how you relived your passions and shared with us how you met your husband! Reading this made me think about my future relationship with the woman of my dreams that I haven't met yet, and I hope I will remember the early significant times of our relationship as well as she does.


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Review of The Promise  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I have a certain amount of difficulty interpreting poetry, so I'm going to guess and say that this poem was about a man who had left his dad at an old folk's home, but he had promised to return and bring him home at some point. I may be wrong about this, but that is what I picked up from this; correct me if I'm wrong.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like that the character in the poem cares about his dad, I would always look after my parents when they get older. Even if I misinterpreted the meaning of this poem, it still means the protagonist cares for his elderly father.
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Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was an action-packed story that had interesting people and creatures living in a fantastic world. You have the beginning of a good story, and I think it would be a good idea if you finished this.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like how this story made me realize how dangerous a fantasy world could be; often we think living in a world like that would be better than our own, but it is a lot more dangerous there. I have a friend who is into fantasy, if he could read this he would see how much more frightening it would be to live in that kind of a world.
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Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a tragic story with a happy ending about a terminally ill man who felt as though he had lost hope in life. I don't know if this was based on a real person or not, but it was very realistic. Some people are affected by terminal illness more negatively than others. I've had two relatives with terminal illnesses, and both of them handled it better than the protagonist of this story; however, they both had a loving wife to take care of them, and your protagonist's wife had left him. That might be why he was so down on life.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked the ending, I'm glad some hope was brought back into his life!
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Review of One and the Same  
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was an interesting poem, you described several different forces of nature, and there was a theme of equanimity. Normally, I have difficulty interpreting poetry, because I'm not a poet and I'm not into poems. I had a slight amount of difficulty interpreting yours, but I assume that you are talking about how a man will be there for a woman, and the images you conveyed were metaphors.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked the forces of nature you described, they added to the mood of this poem.
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249
Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a poem about the sad reality someone must face when their partner leaves them. It happens in life, and this scenario is very realistic. Personally, I have never been through this, I haven't been in a long term relationship, but I can safely assume that this would be devastating.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, good job!

What I liked: For a poem with a tragic ending, I enjoyed the harsh reality the protagonist must face. I prefer happy endings, but for a tragedy, this was well-written.
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Review by Riverd0g
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was very dramatic and very well-written. The idea of a woman who murdered her husband because her life was "too perfect" is very original and interesting.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any errors, but a suggestion would be for you to add more insight into how Dahlia thinks, so we understand why she murdered her husband.

What I liked: I liked the originality of Dahlia's motivation, I've never read a murder story quite like this. I'm interested to know if Dahlia will ever be caught for her crime!
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