SanguineAngel's (sanguineangel) Reviews

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

Review of The Weight I Never Set Down

Rated: E | (3.5)

Hi Emberly

I thought this was a very relatable and honest poem. The language is straight forward and accessible. There isn't really a steady rhythm but that isn't really necessary here. It's effect is in it's frankness.

My favourite stanza by far was this:
I confuse love with tolerance,
mistake silence for grace.
If they don’t leave,
I call it kindness,
not realizing how low I’ve set the bar
for being allowed to exist.

I feel like in this lies almost all of the content of the poem, and itself could be expanded into it's own, more intimate thing. It also feels the most raw, vulnerable, and personally painful (to me) part of the poem. I also think the language in this stanza was a little more elegant but that is just my personal taste, and the flow here felt more deliberate. It could probably stand on it's own, even.

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4850106

Review of It hurts

Review by SanguineAngel

Rated: E | (4.0)

This is a very frank piece and speaks to me directly. Though I am not good at masking, I can feel in here the dichotomy of hiding the pain and the truth and wanting it to be known. Your questions speak of uncertainty, which I interpret to mean potentially that you would have those seek out the answers, to respond to your pain with curiosity and intent instead of you having to reach out explicitly. It feels very human.

This piece leaves me feeling... Bereft.

If criticism is wanted, I would suggest it could be less literal and more consistently reflective about those outsiders. Here you switch between talking about them and talking about yourself. You could structure your internal needs in the 'narrative' and discuss them indirectly through those outsiders and the engagement with you.

But that is not necessary. This is raw, and honest, though I feel searching for answers not yet found. And it is recognisable to me on a very personal level.