This folder contains some of the best poetry that I have ever had the pleasure to read! Each one is strong, heartfelt, thought-provoking and put tears in my eyes!
Having a brother who served the army for 10[?] years and is still in the reserves, your poems have really given me better insight into his life, as we are not at all close. (I spend half my life disliking him, the other half being civil and/or trying very hard to let him into my heart). His experiences in the army and in war are things that are not spoken in my family and NEVER by him, so these poems really shed light on things that I otherwise would never have been able to imagine or understand.
You have a clear, amazing talent! The words found within this folder tugged at my heartstrings in ways that many poems never have! Each one is a beautiful display of talent.
The contents of this folder are amazing and truly heartfelt! I cannot believe what you have managed to do within such short spaces! I am in awe of your talent!! I don't believe that I have ever seen a contest for flash poetry, but this looks like fun! I don't think that I could say even half as much with double the space, but think I might try!
Sherri, I can not even begin to tell you how many volumes this poem spoke to me: You covered much more of might than I care to admit! lol.
As far as the technical aspects, you stuck wonderfully to the AABB rhyme scheme. The repeated line, however, did seem to hinder the flow... Perhaps italicizing or removing all together would ease the flow of the poem??
To me this poem is perfect because, tonight, it said what I have no words for. It was comfort to me: I'm not the only one that goes through such things ---THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this poem perfectly.
Flow & Format:
You stuck wonderfully to the AABB rhyme scheme which gave this poem a steady rhythm, as well as a smooth flow. The changing syllable count did not hinder anything and was only noticed because I'm nit-picky and read a poem a good three or four times before reviewing. lol.
Emotion & Imagery:
The emotion, as well as the words, creep through the reader's mind making the visuals quite dark and despairing. It all comes together to not only make the reader feel your words, but also reflect upon their meaning.
Typos & Suggestions:
I saw no typos throughout this poem nor did any suggestions come to mind.
Overall:
This poem is well-written and easy to feel, as well as stirring up images in the reader's mind. I do, however, feel that it is somewhat cliche and lacking resolve. I know that your never post polished pieces so I am hoping that my meager, humble opinion will not offend.
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this poem perfectly --though my mind leans toward them being switched. They both work perfectly for both!
Flow & Format:
The ABCB rhyme scheme worked wonderfully with your words to keep everything flowing smoothly from beginning to end.
Emotion & Imagery:
The separation of stanzas made it simple, as a reader, to accept and feel both sides of the story. All throughout, there were tears in my eyes and my heart repeatedly skipped beat after beat. The imagery is there --and adds to the somber feeling of the poem before it all comes together.
The end made the tears that had gathered in my eyes actually fall.
Typos & Suggestions:
Lines eight, twelve, and 24 appeared to long, which gave me a minor "hiccup" in the flow as I read--but nothing that actually hindered the emotion, etc... Each added to the story and emotion of the poem, but, perhaps could be shortened...?
Overall:
This poem is incredibly touching and creatively written. This tugged at the strings in my heart like few poems have. It is so raw, so real, that I am just... amazed. No matter what tiny hiccup I found in the flow, the emotion surpasses everything. This poem is... 5.0!
In only seven lines, you manage to not only relay your feelings to the reader, but also make him/her reflect on their stirred emotions! I really love this poem, but a few small suggestions popped into mind:
Line 2: Apalls should be appalls?
Lines 6/7: I think that switching the ending word of Line 6 with the "first" word of Line 7 would add to the impact of the words.
Throughout: Because I'm me, lol, I think that punctuation throughout this poem would really improve it. I know that punctuation is mainly optional in poetry, but I think that giving the reader's voice that little bit of guidance would add clarity and impact to your words...
All in all, I really love this poem and the idea of it! The message is clear, thought-provoking and emotion-stirring! A wonderful read!!!!
Oh, Shannon! Finally something happy from you! This essay is perfectly titled and, while the description lacks a touch of insight into the piece, it suits it well!
I can see why this was published!! This is beautifully written and incredibly touching! You state everything clearly and everything is simple to understand and follow. The flow is smooth from beginning to end and the emotion is... very present! This put tears of happiness in my eyes and joy in my heart! It is beautiful! I don't know what else I can say! (Other than that I saw no typos nor did any suggestions come to mind! lol)
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this piece perfectly, however, I think that the description may give a bit too much away...?
Idea & Storyline:
This glimpse into your childhood is great! The idea of taking such a seemingly simple thing as shoes and turning into such a story is just... wonderful!
Dialogue & Narrative:
The narrative is well-written and easy to understand. Everything flows smoothly from beginning to end, making this a much-enjoyable read!
Emotion & Imagery:
The simple imagery made this story not only easy to envision, but also easy to relate to! (People may think of my part of Jersey as being a city-like suburban area, but the pleasure we took in the many creeks around us made childhood as free as if we were in the country!). This was a lovely little step into your past, and into my own! The innocence of childhood comes through clearly, and the message at the end is strong and thought-provoking!
Typos & Suggestions:
with my[ ]character Missing space.
Overall:
The message of this piece is one that I hope every reader will think about and carry with them! You wrote this wonderfully; allowing the reader to fall into your childhood while thinking about their own and then making them reflect upon your message with those childhoods still in mind! Great, great job!!!
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this piece very well!
Idea & Storyline:
This is another great glimpse into the life that you have led. I love how you manage to draw the reader into the story, making them see ways of relating it to their own life and then Bam! you give them something to think about!
Dialogue & Narrative:
The narrative is well-written and easy to follow and understand. The flow is smooth throughout.
Emotion & Imagery:
The emotion of your childhood-self is easily understood. The simple imagery kept everything easy to envision.
Typos & Suggestions:
of the[ - ]needy This hyphen kind of tripped me up a bit since it seems to break up the thought here. If it is meant for empahsis, I think that, maybe, italicizing 'needy people' may work better.
obligation half[ ]way. No need for a space here; halfway can be one word.
A general suggestion: While everything is simple to understand, I think that adding more details about the less fortunate would give the reader a better grasp for comparison to your childhood life. Also, I think that adding a few extra points of appreciation for things that you did have might drive hope the point better.
Overall:
I really enjoyed reading this. The ending, with its touch of irony (the information given), made me smile, as well as the picture of your child-self and the actions taken. This has a great message for the reader and I hope that I can carry it with me for years to come!
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this piece well, however, I think that a better title may exist for this piece since it does not seem to answer the question of what love is, but more how to keep love and cherish that love.
Thoughts & Opinions:
The idea behind this is wonderful! It presents the readers with questions that really make the reader reflect on his/her life and relationship(s). It is presented in such a way that emotion does not cloud the words, though the reader may find him/herself filled with emotion by the words. The "instructions" for how to realize, cherish, and keep love are very true and simple. Recognizing love can sometimes be the hardest thing in the world, but you make it seem so easy! lol.
As a wife, I found that this article was filled with sound advice. I love how it made me reflect on my marriage, thinking about how much of this article can be related to our relationship.
Typos & Suggestions:
But, [what] once again, what This first 'what' seemed out of place.
It is also written...another[?] This sentence starts out as a statement, but end with a question mark, hindering the flow.
Overall:
This is well-written. It is obvious that you put quite a bit of heart and thought into this and I am amazed that it did not get in the way of the message. You manage to sound professional throughout this piece, though many reading it will have their emotions stirred. Great job!
Everything is well-worded and clearly stated. The expectations are simple and easy to understand.
The weekly prompts are always easy to use for both dark and light poems/flash stories. They prove to be good bits of inspiration that do not restrict the reader's creativity.
I saw no typos nor is there any room for improvement!
All in all, this is a wonderful contest filled with encouragement of creativity with only minimal limits! I love it! (And have my entry written for this week, but it's on the laptop and needs to be transferred... It's about the Christmas Angel! hehehe...)
I cannot use format for this one; nor may this one seem like a review as much as a reaction... I'm sorry
This poem... That day... I can't help but feel my fear all over again as I read your words. Living in New Jersey, the Twin Towers were a part of my horizon; it has and never will look the same since that day. I remember when they announced on the radio that a plane had hit a transformer; and... within minutes, pandomonium consumed my world. I had my To Do list, which included several government buildings and was petrified all the way through... I remember looking at "my" horizon before going into one building and coming out and having the first tower gone... I knew then than life would never be the same. Nevermind my fear, nevermind the children that I needed to tend to (my niece and nephew); that moment, right there, changed my life forever --standing between the place employment of my them boyfriend and a simply bakery to which I filled out an application [before going to social security, etc... for a friend]; the metaphors and my realizations for my own life were both broadened and clear at that moment. And I couldn't cry. Tears trailing down my cheeks, I fought that I was crying.. for I am not emotional and I would never have cried in front of the person with me: but I did. And she couldn't understand why. --No wonder why the government gave her kids better homes and lives! [Sorry... off track] Even now, as I look outside, my view is not the same: it never will be. I can remember.... [Sorry, again...]
The flow of this poem is smooth, the content very factual. The AABB rhyme scheme never feels forced. I might suggest colons after the times, but I cannot suggest anything --It is perfect as it is... Anything that can have my crying well after walking away and coming back, is PERFECT! Perfect! Perfect.... and how can something this emotional be anything less??
I'm sorry that I cannot offer more for this review it's just too much. I guess I'm not as healed as I thought... I'm sorry....
Title & Description:
The description fits perfectly, however, I think that a better title is out there...
This had a chilling idea behind --demonic, to say the least! But, the storyline for this specific story it is touching and heartfelt. I do, however, wish to know more about the characters. It is well-written and easy to understand, as well as feel!
Typos & Suggestions:
shut down[,] There seemed to be a natural pause here for me, as well as this being 'added detail' to the sentence, so I think that a comma here would improve the flow.
[father] announced Father Do a quick read-through; I noticed this again, Father should be capitalized when used as a proper name with no possessive noun before it.
"Take my hand..." The sentence before mentions an action from Mother, so I think that giving this a new paragraph would imrpove flow/clarity.
I'm awoke Change of tense: I was awaken
as [mother] got No possessive noun; Mother.
I [push]
Tense change: pushed
Overall:
Chilling... I don't know what else I can say. I got goosebumps as I read. I think that, with just a touch of attention to it, you could really make this even better [worst?].
Title & Description:
Title and description both fit the story perfectly.
Idea & Storyline:
The idea behind this story is a good tribute as well as a great reminder/warning! You handled this story beautifully; making it so that the reader could see the truth of your words, feel the innocence and fear of it all. The storyline, so real, is far to common; I remember when I was younger there were several strings of kidnappings in my area that all involved white vans. It still happens here and there and I still get afraid every time I see a white van. I think that, as people, we sympathize with the victims and their families so much that we fail to see the other people affected by it; we fail to realize the trauma of the girl next door to the kidnapped child while her parents thank God that it wasn't her. It's always easy for that girl to imagine herself being the one... And who helps her through it? (Wow. Sorry. I didn't mean to go on a rant...).
Dialogue & Narrative:
The dialogue was well-suited to the characters and situations, as well as helping the reader see the innocence of the younger characters. It really brought the characters to life and enhanced the story in ways that narrative never could.
The narrative is well-written and flow smoothly. It is all easy to understand, which makes everything else hit that much harder!
Emotion & Imagery:
The feeling of peace and innocence is strong in the beginning and then [and I notice your talent for this] Bam! there's the kicker; the thing that makes the reader's heart skip a beat and put tears in their eyes. Your journalistic style of writing really drags home a million more thoughts than an ordinary story might; you allow the reader to develop his/her own feelings before telling them how they "should" feel. Brilliant! The imagery is so simple and easy to relate to, that I cannot imagine a person reading this without seeing it all!
was working [today]
{e:bullet]Change of tense: that day
[I'm] sure [today] Change of tense: I was that day
In the note: characters characters'
The ending: Okay, I've noticed that you have this wonderful talent for foreshadowing and, with this piece, I really thought there would be some reference to the game at the end. (i.e. Game Over... The game is never over... etc...)
Overall:
You took something real and made it...real! You wrote it in such a way that my heart was in my throat with worry all the way through! I both admire and hate you for this!
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit perfectly!
Flow & Format:
The flow is smooth, though I do think that a quick read aloud might help, just for a glance at the punctuation. The changing rhyme scheme went almost unnoticed, however, it is apparent. I think that, having written this for children, a steady rhyme scheme would better serve that purpose.
Emotion & Imagery:
The lighthearted beat of this poem added to the whimsical feeling to make this poem qute enchanting! The imagery is great! If I were invisible, I might do much worse, but these things would definitely be a start! (I have this thing in my head that makes me know that if I could be invisible, I would steal EVERYONE'S left shoe.)
Typos & Suggestions:
[what'ere] I I got up here... The apostrophe should be in place of the missing letter of the word, so... maybe whate'er
[Amuck] Amok
The Sixth Stanza: The rhyme scheme faltered here... Maybe change the last line to 'if I lived invisibly'??
Overall:
I really enjoyed reading this poem and love the lighthearted, whimsical context! You did a wonderful job with it, but I think that a little attention could make it truly magnificent!!!
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this poem perfectly.
Flow & Format:
The flow smooth from beginning to end. The transition from ABAB rhyme scheme to ABCB caught me up for a second, but it didn't effect anything in a major way; The flow was still smooth, but I did notice the change.
Emotion & Imagery:
This poem is filled with emotion. Not only through the words written, but through the memories and faces that will go through the reader's mind. It is beautiful and put tears in my eyes. I hope that it is true.
Typos & Suggestions:
fine[,] my lovely, Comma before and after 'my lovely' since it is being said to them.
In [heaven's] Since this is naming the specific place, I believe it should be capitalized.
with gold[;] I think that adding punctuation here might improve the flow? Same with the next line? Same for first line of the next stanza?
The last line: This is just a comment for it. It is striking as it is, but, for some reason, my mind wanted to read it as For then my Heaven will be complete.
Overall:
This poem is a great comfort. It is filled with happiness and peace, though the sadness of loss rings out clearly. It made me sit and reflect for a few moments, taking in all of the emotion and imagery that had passed from your words to my mind. Beautiful, Shannon... Again, thank you for sharing! ((HUGS))
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this poem perfectly!
Flow & Format:
The flow was smooth and steady; the AABB rhyme scheme felt unforced and kept everything moving right along!
Emotion & Imagery:
The emotion is clear; I had a smile on my face all the way through! The imagery, I think, will change from one reader to the next, however, I think we will all have the same basic vision: Grandma and a knitted present! (I thought of my knitted Raggedy Ann and Andy afghan that got destroyed in a flood years ago...).
Typos & Suggestions:
I saw no typos, however, one suggestion popped into my head:
Since I couldn't count a steady syllabic pattern, I think that “She said” could be removed from Line 3 since it feels repetitious. (Had to say... She said...)
Overall:
I enjoyed this! After the last piece I read (A 6”x6” Box), I was expecting tears. I really was... But, I was delighted to find a smile and my heart warmed! This poem has a strong, beautiful message that I hope every reader will pay heed to and carry with them! It is wonderfully written and entertaining! I love it!!!
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this piece perfectly.
Idea & Storyline:
First off, please allow me to extend my condolences. I am sorry for your loss!
I always hate reviewing pieces like this because no show of emotion can be less than perfect to me. I think that your account of the events surrounding your sister-in-law's death are well-written. I hope that you found writing this to be therapeutic. You stuck well to the facts.
Dialog & Narrative:
The narrative is well-written and flow smoothly, with only a few minor, nit-picky hiccups (mentioned below). The dialogue worked well to enhance the piece and make the “characters” come to life, as well as bringing the actual story to life.
Emotion & Imagery:
You wrote this in such a way that the emotion is clear and easy to understand and, yet, not so much that your own emotions fogged the facts. It is simple for the reader to develop their own feelings while accepting yours. The imagery is clear and easy to see –especially the contents of the box!
Typos & Suggestions:
“What[!]” Since this is actually asking a question [demanding as it may be said], I think that replacing this exclamation point with a question mark might improve the flow/clarity.
...brother [had] split / The [have]... who [has] This all makes sense, however, there is a change of tense here. Perhaps add the word had and adjust have and has to had and had...? That's a lot of had's isn't it?
March 13/March 31 I'm not sure if this is a true story [and if it is, I am sorry], but, if not, it seems like there is a big span between the death and the funeral; Perhaps explain why...?
Trista [is] now... Another tense change. I think that changing this to [was] would improve flow/clarity.
6”x6”-inch Since the little tic-marks [“] imply inch, I think that removing the word 'inch' would alleviate the feeling of repetition here.
Overall:
I don't know what else I can say. This is a well-written and a good tribute; It makes the reader feel the loss –especially the loss inflicted on your niece. It is an emotional piece and put tears in my eyes.
Title & Description:
Title and description both fit this poem perfectly!
Flow & Format:
The flow was smooth except for two minor bumps. The ABCB rhyme scheme worked wonderfully with your words to keep everything moving and rhythmic without any rhyme feeling forced!
Emotion & Imagery:
The lighthearted feel of this poem is wonderful! I was smiling and laughing all the way through [Oops... should I admit to laughing at your plight before the resolution came? Sorry... lol] The imagery is simple and easy to envision, which really enhanced the laugh factor!
Typos & Suggestions:
Stanza One: There seemed to be a small bump here as I read. I think that replacing the comma at the end of line two [or starting line three with 'For'] would smooth it right out –then again, it could just be me. Lol.
Stanza Two: Again, it felt a little bumpy to me [and, again, it could be just me...]. It kind of seemed like two complete thoughts intertwined incompletely... lol. In my mind a few small changes smoothed out the bumps: if → that; did → would; and a semi-colon instead of a comma at the end of Line Two...?
Overall:
This is entertaining and well-written! Bumps or no, I cannot give this less than a 5.0! It isn't often that a poem actually makes me laugh out loud! This poem is just so easy to relate to and so true that it's perfect in my eyes!!!
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this poem perfectly!
Flow & Format:
The ABCB rhyme scheme worked wonderfully with your words to keep everything flowing smoothly from beginning to end without any rhyme seeming forced.
Emotion & Imagery:
I loved the lighthearted feeling of this poem! It put a big smile on my face and had be laughing out loud! [Not to mention how how it forced me to look at my own ever-growing sticky not wall! lol]
Typos & Suggestions:
I saw no typos nor did any suggestions pop into my head!
Overall:
I simply love this poem! It's entertaining and [maybe a little too] easy to relate to! You did a great job of getting your point across! This poem is not only a great display of talent, but solid proof of how smart you are!
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this poem perfectly!
Flow & Format:
The ABCB rhyme scheme worked beautifully with your words to keep everything flowing smoothly and rhythmically from beginning to end!
Emotion & Imagery:
The emotion was clear throughout this peace. The joy and happiness of Christmas came through your words and put a smile on my face. The end was tearful and thought-provoking. Do I appreciate, not only Christmas but each day enough? The simple imagery and good descriptions made everything easy to envision!
Typos & Suggestions:
I saw no typos and only one suggestion popped into my head:
Stanza Four, Line Three: cake[,] Since Line Four is a different thought and not continuing the thought from this line, I think replacing the comma with a period or semi-colon might be better here?
Overall:
This is a truly beautiful poem that is perfect for Christmas --and everyday! The feelings throughout it come through clearly... This heartfelt tale that made me think and --most importantly, feel! I don't know what else I can say: This is perfect!
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this poem perfectly.
Flow & Format:
The syllable count and rhyme scheme are steady and unwavering throughout the poem. No rhyme seemed forced which kept the flow smooth from beginning to end.
Emotion & Imagery:
It is easy for the reader to understand your feelings, as well as having their own stirred by your words. The strength found in being led, of never feeling lost, is a powerful notion that comes clearly through your words. The imagery is really up to the reader, I think, each reader will have different visions flashing before his/her mind's eye.
Typos & Suggestions:
I saw no typos nor did any suggestions pop into my head.
Overall:
This is a well-written poem with flawless form and rhyme.
How creative! lol. I enjoyed trying to remember... and resisting the urge to look up the answers!
The questions are creative and well-worded! --Some very brain racking, too!
The images used are wonderful and well-suited to the quiz (or, at least, the ones that I've seen are! lol).
For being so creative, imaginative, and presenting it so beautifully, how can I give you any less that a five? (I am, however, wondering how I managed to be a misfit ---I'm much worst than that! lol)
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this poem perfectly!
Flow & Format:
The flow was smooth from beginning to end, and the monorhymed stanzas did not seem forced.
Emotion & Imagery:
The emotion, for me, was majestic and mystifying! The imagery is real, beautiful, and breathtaking!
Typos & Suggestions:
I saw no typos nor did any suggestions come to mind.
Overall:
I love this poem! (I should have read it the other night when I was out taking pictures of the moon! Lol). The sky is an amazing, beautiful expanse and you relay that beautifully with you words!
Title & Description:
The title and description both fit this poem perfectly.
Flow & Format:
The flow was smooth from beginning to end. The monorhymed stanzas, amazingly, did not feel forced nor did the rhyming make the words feel lighthearted. I love that the message was not affected by the format!
Emotion & Imagery:
This is a poem that is easy to feel and, for too many of us, relate to! The imagery, I think, will change from reader to reader, but the feelings of offending through innocence comes through clearly. It is a sad thing, but very real and very true.
Typos & Suggestions:
I think that the punctuation throughout this poem could be improved. The first stanza does not read as one flowing thought. I think that adding a period or semi-colon at the end of line two would improve the flow by honoring the seemingly-natural break that he/she might take at that point. (I know that I did each time I read it). Second stanza, Line Three contains two separate thoughts. I think that replacing the comma with a semi-colon would improve the clarity and flow here. In the fourth stanza, Lines 1-3 all represent different actions, I think that adding commas at the ends of lines one and two would improve flow/clarity. Stanza 4/Line 3, I think that replacing the comma at the end of this line with a colon would add strength to the following line, as well as improving the clarity and flow.
Extra Line skipped between stanzas two and three.
I think that setting the title to center, bold, or underlined would help separate it from the poem.
Overall:
I found this poem easy to relate to and well-written. It covers a topic that we do not see so often in poetry... The “offense” committed is one that is natural and yet non-existent, though we may be made to feel that way –or may have been made, anyway. I think you did a splendid job of portraying the feelings having to do with it so that the ready can easily understand the meaning of your words.
,
Stephanie Grace
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They both work perfectly for both! 
This essay is perfectly titled and, while the description lacks a touch of insight into the piece, it suits it well! 
Missing space. 
I love it!!!