*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sfttarget
Review Requests: ON
30 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I really enjoyed the story. The suspense was perfect and I felt the same chills she had. The descriptions were vivid. The glass shards, throaty growl of the wolf. Just vivid images. I was wanting her hand to settle on the poker as well and was hoping it would, but you make due with what you have and I liked it and was rooting for her.

I felt her pity towards the boy. I liked that you gave him human feelings and characteristics at the end. Very appropriate. To me the story just flowed and was riveting. Honestly I will probably come back and read it again. I really enjoyed it!

I like the way you left the reader hanging a bit wondering what would happen to her with the law and her wounds. Would they fester or perhaps would she become one as well. I enjoyed it all. Thank you for a wonderful read!

sft...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Prey  
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I like the story a lot and love snakes. The story is told from her perspective and the horror is easy to follow. You can almost feel yourself trapped in the bathroom with the girl. I can tell you though the snake would have had to been bigger to consume her and even larger to consume Jack so you might wish to tweak it to make it more realistic. I have worked with retics before.It's a good reading and I enjoyed it.
3
3
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Smiles, I just let them keep going. If they are happy in who they are, so be it and if they aren't happy, well that's their issue. You can't make someone change if they have no desire to. You have a pretty good writing/rant here.

I know quite a few folks who tear someone down to feel better about themselves. The funny thing to me is usually the person they find fault with is a whole lot happier then they are. I can give you one bit of advice when dealing with these "drama" folks.

Don't play tennis. Drama folks need a partner or their words have 0 merit. If you do not give them a reaction or even entertain their words or opinion, then it has no value and you have not affirmed their feelings. They need someone to in effect "hit the ball back to them". Without it there is no game and they will move on and you can get back to being you and happy all over again.

I like your writing, you've done a nice job setting your feelings to paper.

sft...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I will comment on this as it affects me personally. I am an analyst for a major insurance company and handle injuries that occur during car accidents. I have seen a lot of accidents caused by texting. Typically the parent didn't know and honestly sometimes they didn't care and would just make an excuse. This is a good write up, but I can honestly say it's more then just texting. I have passed women on the highway applying make up, a man using an electric razor, folks eating and one man reading a book. (yeesh) In short I would say put the distractions away and drive and arrive alive. Thanks for the writing.

sft...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I really enjoyed the story especially with the holiday coming up. Very easy to read and fun to follow along. The visual in the writing was good, you could feel the surroundings. Thank you!

sft...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review by sfttarget
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, congratulations on your book. I was out sick all last week with a sinus infection and found the site. I hadn't written in over 20 years. I woke up thinking about my newest writing and had to get out of bed and write it up before I forgot. I should probably just keep a steno pad next to the bed instead of actually writing a bit as I have to be up in 30 minutes for work but oh well at least I have a start to it. Anyway congrats again!

sft....
7
7
Review by sfttarget
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed your piece. It's a life lesson. You don't get ahead by staying with the pack. We are individuals and meant to find our own path and not follow those who have come before us. It is an easy read that is very easy to follow. I really enjoyed the writing. Thank you for sharing!

sft..


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review by sfttarget
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Mike, I have never had to write a tribute to a person before but I know if one were written about me I would want it to make people smile and laugh and tell a nice easy fun story. You have done that here. The story shows the level of friendship and shared "good times" It's a breath of fresh air.

Minimal things:

Perhaps fast outings should read shorter outings or get aways. (to me get aways just sounds like an escape and it's shows you were his preferred company when he sought to escape)

Bob and I would typically ride together as I had a four-wheel drive truck and you needed this type of transportation to go where we would camp, or so I thought.

You might want to make this two sentences Bob and I would typically ride in together as I had a four-wheel drive truck. This was needed due to the steep terrain or ground that needed to be crossed.

It's a good read, your friend sounds like a pleasure to have known.

sft...



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of One Last Song  
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Powerful! It reminded me of my Oma and Opa who were married 63 years. The love they had for each other was awe inspiring. She passed first and he lived another 4 years yet he never stopped loving her. Some hearts nothing can keep apart. The poem reads well and is smooth and flowing. A powerful read and I loved it. Thank you!

sft...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Unmasked  
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hysterical, I loved the descriptive words and the way the story flowed. The ending had a perfect little twist that left your reader laughing and cheering for Don Diego...
Thank you so much for sharing!

sft...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review by sfttarget
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I like it. This flows pretty well and reminds me of a piece I wrote years ago called You can Never Go Home. The memories that you describe are so vivid they paint a pretty picture. I hope your get to return and it is just the way you remember it. When I went home it had changed and it left me saddened. Thank you for your work

sft....


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of Djinn Tonic  
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really enjoyed this writing and following along was very easy. I felt sympathetic towards Bob and was smiling happily at the end (I guess there is an award for steadfast tolerance and it appears he received it) Thank you for the well thought out, pleasant read!

sft...
13
13
Review of Healers  
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love it! The story flowed and yet you felt like you had known this family for a long long time. I loved the setting, the Gerber jars made me laugh. A return to the days of old even though it was a forced one after the plague. The girl blossoming to be a woman under her mother's watchful eyes were beautiful. You captured so much in this writing and I hope you will add on to it as I would love to see how the story continues. Thank You!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed the chapter and the one to the bottom. I found myself especially involved with the floats and pods in the above. The description of them and the Captains calmness when he had the younger officer in a state of panic was riveting. I was a bit disappointed not to find out what happened and then see it slip to the next scene. They are both good, easy to read and follow and I can see your audience being unable to set the book down when it has been completed. Hoping for more and thank you for sharing!

sft..


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review by sfttarget
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like this post, it's informative and reflective and tells a good story that flows easily. It reminds me of the clippings my parents used to keep that I found as a boy and that I look at again now and then. My mother was very nostalgic and kept the clipping from the New York times when man first walked on the moon. It was July 21,1969 and I was due to be born any day and she thought I might have been born on that day so she kept the paper. I still have it even though I was born a few days later. It's good to remember times that were shared with your father. (especially since this is historic!) Thanks for sharing this!

sft...
16
16
Review of Sent from Heaven  
Review by sfttarget
Rated: E | (4.0)
The topic is a good one and had me questioning my own "evaluation system". I had some crazy ideas of what the "perfect" woman or someone who was "Sent from Heaven" should be. I found that I was holding my perfect partner to even higher standards then I held myself. (that was an awakening but no need to get into it here).

I like your writing and your style. It flows and is easy to follow.

As to cleaning it up

never did drugs or never drank (you can remove the 2nd never)

The guy who didn't grow up with a silver spoon in his mouth, the guy who had to get a job to get a car, the guy who got in trouble with the cops when he was younger
(this is a bit of a run on, you can make it flow a little better by perhaps saying.)

The guy who didn't grow up with a silver spoon in his mouth, instead he had to get a job to buy a car. He got in trouble with the cops when he was younger. (it might flow a little better like this)

When I think of that person this guy comes right to my head because he is the guy who will hold you tight at night, he is the one who will help you with anything you need help with without even asking him. (if we put a period between right after night and capitalize He it will again flow a bit better)

So when he asks me to be next to him in the future and that he promises to never hurt me , I truly believe he my man sent from heaven. ( So when he asks me to be next to him in the future, and promises to never hurt me, I truly believe he is my man sent from Heaven.)

It flows pretty well but I think this might be a bit better. I am new here and apologize if the review came across harsh. It was not meant to be and the story made me reflect about my own perfect woman. It's a great topic and very easy to follow and flowing. Good Job!

sft...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review by sfttarget
Rated: E | (5.0)
Powerful writing. The writing creates a picture and lets the reader decide on the battle being fought. It brought a personal experience I had when i was about 12 years old and I read the book Scott was Here. It was an amazing story that told of a boys fight against Hodgkins and his ultimate departure. At points he wanted to surrender, the hurt, fatigue all contributed to wear him down. He saw himself as the warrior as well. This poem reminded me of that and makes me wonder if the author experienced a fight like this for themselves. I hope the person in the writing reached the top!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review by sfttarget
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed this challenge immensely and completed it with a short story from when I was younger about a pet squirrel I had the luck to befriend.

Thank you for getting the creative juices flowing this morning.

sft...

Once upon a time there was a small female squirrel born into a family of six others. She was the last to be born and as such was the lowest in the pecking order. Everyday, her family would go searching for food and visit the neighborhood bird feeder. Being the littlest, she would routinely get chased from the feeder by her larger brothers and sisters and have to root among the husks of seeds at the bottom of the table.

One day the human that filled the feeder came out as she was on the floor. The little squirrel shrank back in fear, but the man seemed kind. He gently threw a small handful of sunflower seeds to her after he filled the feeder. The hungry little squirrel was stunned but settled down to eat while keeping a wary eye on the human. Her brothers and sisters quickly returned when the human went back inside and she was chased from her small pile of seeds from an older sibling only being able to consume a few in the short time the man was outside.

The little squirrel continued to root through the husks occasionally gleaning a small nut or seed that had fallen to the ground or gone unnoticed. Over time she looked forward to the time each day the man would return to fill the feeder. She would edge a little closer and each time he would throw her a small handful of seeds or a small nut or two.


Because of that, she started to put on a little weight and her position in the family hierarchy started to rise. She was not left to root among the husks and was able to hold her own on the table. She continued to fill out as she had more access to the additional food on the table. The man continued to return each day to fill the feeder, always kind with soft soothing words for her.

Until finally one day, she chose to simply watch as her brethren ran off when the man returned to fill the feeder. He poured a small pile in front of her of sun flower seeds and then proceed to fill the feeder. The man remained outside within a foot or so of her while she made short work of the food. The man held a large peanut out to her in his hand. Her whiskers twitched and her gaze remained on the man. Tentatively she reached for it taking it in her mouth and then sat back on her haunches using her front paws to hold the nut while she eagerly tore at it.

A new friendship had formed...
19
19
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Love the journey you documented from your start to now. It's very exciting and appealing.

sft..
20
20
Review of My Tiny Friend  
Review by sfttarget
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love this story and hope you will write more!
20 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sfttarget