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1
1
Review of Thief of Hearts  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


*Reading* THE POEM

The poem was about a "love" gone bad.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the repetition of "The cruel beast that stole her heart" and how it was placed in each quatrain.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a poem with 4 quatrains and an AABB rythme scheme. Adding a layer of complexity to the poem, "The cruel beast that stole her heart" repeats in each quartrain; it's the 1st line in the opening quartern, the 2nd line in the 2nd quatrain, and so on.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "The cruel beast who stole her heart," because there's a contradiction in that line. We have a cruel beast - evil and dastardly, and she falls in love with him. Is there something redeemable about him? I think all readers are attracted to the contradiction whether it be light/dark, good/evil, ying/yan etc.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening invites the reader in with a nice, rhythmic beat and keeps them reading. The poem has a good beat when read out loud. The title is a nice fit for the poem. I enjoyed the flow and rhythm of the poem. You find yourself rooting for the girl even though you suspect it might not end well. Good expression.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


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2
2
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

*Reading* This word search is spring themed.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

It was a very fun puzzle. All the words were easy to find and I didn't get overly frustrated.

*Star* ENGAGING

The word search has words that match the theme well. Nothing seems out of place. The amount of words is spot on. There's enough to challenge you, but not frustrate you.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of good choices that fit the ambience of spring.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the word search, if doable. A fun word search that is entertaining and perfect for the season!


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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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3
3
Review of Katherine  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem that speaks to the poet's friendship with Katherine.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the honest, candid tone of the poem. I could feel the respect the poet had for her friend.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. This is style of poetry where the first letter of a word or phrase is used to start the line of a poem.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to highlight the letters and I liked how the picture captured the concept of the essence of friendship.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Testing the waters of courage and faith," This is a great description of how friends come together with shared experiences and the same or near temperaments in courage and faith. I picture friends sharing a challenging experience and emerging stronger in their friendship.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening introduces the reader to Katherine and keeps them reading, wanting to find out more. The title fits the poem. Feeling friendship is a really positive emotion that taps into respect and reverence which comes across here. Acrostics can be a challenge due to their limitations, but the poet meets the challenge nicely.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


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4
4
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

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*Reading* THE POEM

Life's reflections and observations on Crabapple Beach.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the personal tone of the poem. It invited the reader to take a peek at the poet's world.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "her first newscast to the world, with a sigh, as if saying, “I do,” -- Newscast here, implies a proclamation or an announcement, or even a commitment followed up with an "I do." There's a lot of emotion here, bubbling up and bursting out.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening invites the reader in as the poet walks down the beach and keeps them reading. The title is a nice fit for the poem. I enjoyed the inspiration the poet took from the beach. Nature has a way of stirring of the soul. That comes out in this poem.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


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5
5
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE ESSAY

An essay about a Boy Scout Flag retirement ceremony.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

This really touched me in 2 ways. I'm a US Army veteran having served between 1986-1997, and I was an Assistant Scoutmaster with Troop 2 out of Newhall, CA. My boys are both Eagle scouts and I led several overnight camping trips for the scouts. Yes, I'm a Boy Mom!

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* THEME

For me, I picked out the theme of Patriotism. The 4th of July is right around the corner and people are making plans to spend the holiday right about now. And I think, with that's going on in the world right now, all the conlicts and drama, bringing it home with a sense of patriotism will keep one grounded.

*Star* EMOTIONAL BEATS
How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? *Checkr* *Checkr* *Checkr* Great; *CheckR* *CheckR* Good; *Checkr* Okay.

*CheckR* *Checkr* *Checkr* The author tapped into a sense of pride and stirred up a sense of what it is to take care of those symbols which represent our nation.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font to make it easier on the eyes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws the reader in with their sense of reverence. If you ever get a chance to see a Flag retirement, I highly recommend it. It will strike a cord in you. As an Assistant Scoutmaster, I've supervised Flag retirement ceremonies at our Court of Honors and Webelos' overnighters. The writing is candid, honest, and sincere. A heartwarming, inspirational vinyette.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


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6
6
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A young girl goes through a traumatic experience, taking her life on a very different turn.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I thought the ending really brought the story full circle and ended on a note of hope.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person limited from Emily's perspective. Past tense is used in the story.

*Star*OPENING PARAGRAPH

A quote sets a hopeful tone for the story.

The next paragraph sets the time and place and puts the reader in the moment.

*Star*CHARACTERS

Emily was a survivor and it's that aspect that makes her relatable to the reader.


*Star*FLOW & PACING

It worked well to tell a full story.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. My only suggestion here, and it's minor and a matter of style - maybe increase the font a little to make it easier on the eyes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The title hints at the story. The author uses a good economy words to tell a poignant story.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


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7
7
Review of Cloud Chatter  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A low level cloud watching a baseball game finds an unusual cloud hanging low.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the creativity and imagination used in this flash fiction. Not only that, the character voice is spot on. I smiled the entire time I was reading this.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Fiona's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue drives the story.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Rising on thermals, falling with downdrafts, moving in every direction of the compass, until they find an area with enough moisture content to build their cloud persona again." -- This is precisely what clouds do, and I could picture myself hanging out in the stands of the baseball game, looking up, and trying to figure out the clouds out to see if they would rain.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: baseball game

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Fiona

Fiona's just hanging out, just trying to stay moist. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader and pulls them into the story. The title fits the story. A nice comical read that will put a smile on your face.
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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


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8
8
Review of it's coming....  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


*Reading* THE POEM

The poem was about autumn and what autumn brings.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The poet uses a good economy of words in a succinct fashion to visually put the reader in the season. Well done.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. My only suggestion would be to increase the font on WDC to make it easier to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Hay rides, unbridled play" The words here are few, but they're still very visual. If you've ever had a hay ride, you can remember those sensations. The hay is a bit prickly, the air is usually cool and crisp, and an underlying feeling/emotion of fun is there.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader and keep them reading. The title hints at what is coming... which words. The title also builds anticipation. I enjoyed the progression of the poem as it progressed much like the season.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


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9
9
Review of First drum set  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem is about a boy with a drum set.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

This is a very visual poem. I could picture a boy banging away, smiling, and having a blast.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no set rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to augment the visual aspect of the poem.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: Rat-tat-tat and a boom-boom-boom, crash-crash-crash cacophonous tunes" This phrase/line brings to life the banging on the drum. It's not only visual, but it's very auditory.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader and makes them want to tap with their feet. The title is a nice fit for the poem. I love how the poem sounds when it's read outloud. A fun, playful read that captures the spirt of a toddler.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


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10
10
Review of Turtles in Love  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A sweet poem about two turtles who might actually like each other.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The rythme used had a nice rhythm and beat when spoke out loud.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a poem with 5 quatrains and an AABB rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "A pleasant turtle, snoring deep – For eighteen hours, not a peep." This is a nice, easy rythme that says a lot. We can picture a turtle just chillin' and sleeping and enjoying his peace.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening invites the reader in with an easy beat and keeps them reading. The title is descriptive for the poem. I enjoyed the lighthearted love story and I can see where this would appeal to children around 3-5 years.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


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11
11
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE FOLDER

*Reading* The folder organizes the author's poetry that is spiritual or religious in nature.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the folder was structured. The introduction has a nice explanation of the purpose of the folder. There's a picture in the title line, and poems appear well ordered.

*Star* ENGAGING

I thought this folder was very engaging. It caught my attention and piqued my interest.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. My only suggestion and this is style is to increase the font in the introduction to make it easier on the eyes on WDC.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

It's a nice folder that does what it's intended to do. The title is reflective of the folder's theme. There are 3 poems and room to grow!

Reviewed by StephBee for the Angel Army

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


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12
12
Review of Nature's Embrace  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


*Reading* THE POEM

The poem was a nice tribute to nature.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The poet used a good economy of words to paint vivid pictures of nature's wonders.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a poem with 5 quatrains and an AABB rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: From oceans vast to skies so divine. In flowers blooming, mountains tall," I could easily picture this as I read. It put me in the moment as a reader and evoked subtle emotion - pride in the beauty of nature.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening invites the reader in and keeps them reading. The title is a nice fit for the poem. I enjoyed the reverence for nature in the poem.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


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13
13
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


*Reading* THE POEM

The poem was a heartfelt tribute to two mothers.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

A sincere poem about what it's like to have a child, give it up for adoption, and yet, the emotional benefit weaves into the fabric of everyone involved.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were honest and sincere.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Sixteen years, and not prepared for a son." This is a very honest, poignant statement and I think it's something we can all understand.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the readers and keeps them reading. The title is a heartwarming fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall.

Glowing Steph
14
14
Review of Word Search  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE FOLDER

*Reading* The folder contains the word searches for the Author's port.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Using a folder like this is a great way to organize the word searches in your port.

*Star* ENGAGING

If you like doing word searches, it's nice to find all the word searches all together.

*Star*VARIETY

There are a lot of puzzles to check out.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

If anything, I might suggest making the introduction more enticing by using a graphic to set the tone and mood as well as a paragraph or two to establish your "why" such as "I'm a fan of word searches and I wanted to share," or "I wanted to dedicate this" or "The theme of this folder is." The title is appropriate. If you enjoy word searches, you'll like this folder.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.
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15
15
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

*Reading* This word search focuses on characters and settings belonging to Game of Thrones.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Great word selection! Every word used had meaning to Game of Thrones.

*Star* ENGAGING

The first 2 words were easy, but after that, the word search became challenging but I hung there and words just popped up. I would say it was a good "medium" challenge. It wasn't too hard or too easy and I worked at a steady pace.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of words in the search associated with the books/series.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML in the intro.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

If anything, and this is minor, I might suggest adding a graphic to the introduction to augment the mood/tone. The title fits the activity. An enjoyable word search, especially if you like Game of Thrones.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.
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16
16
Review of Work in Progress  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

*Reading* This word search focuses on words that are focused on spiritually.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Nice word selection. Every word used had a connection to developing your spiritually and inner growth. It's an inspiring puzzle.

*Star* ENGAGING

After I found the first couple of words, the other words just popped out. It was a lot of fun to do this puzzle.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of words in the search that have meaning to the topic.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

If anything, I might develop the introduction a little bit using a paragraph or two, or a graphic to set the tone and mood. This is a fun word search that will give you an opportunity to consider your own spiritual growth.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.
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17
17
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem dedicated to the feelings that are brought out in the Dark.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Great expression without using the words the "black" or "night." That was part of the challenge which made the poem a tad more challenging.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There are six lines with some rythmes.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML. If anything, I might check the Invalid item link.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "You are in the dark when everyone knows but you're left out." The poet uses a good economy of words to describe that heartbreaking feeling of not fitting in.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws the reader in, and keeps them reading. The title fits the poem well. Nice expression.

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18
18
Review of Raising Rabbits  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A woman brings home 3 rabbits from a conference and it causes a bunch of trouble.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I really appreciate it when a story can be told using only dialogue. That's a challenge. Well done here.


*Star* DIALOGUE

Dialogue drives the story. Good use of punctuation to communication inflection and tone of voice.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

Description is always a challenge with dialogue because it's implied, but here, there's enough to direction to let the scene play out in the reader's imagination. I especially liked: "What?!? You brought home a rabbit?" -- "Three." -- The reader can picture 3 rabbits coming home to a reluctant caretaker.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: Modern day
PLACE: house

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

A couple

You can understand one's love for the rabbits and the other's reluctance. Well done. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits the story, and the opening pulls the reader right into the dilemma. Well done!
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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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19
19
Review of Sprocket  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Sprocket is a helpful apprentice and there's one more race to tackle.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the undercurrent of respect Sprocket had for Mr. Alexander. Very well done considering the word count.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Sprocket's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Check your pilot’s seat, Mr. Alexander,” she answered calmly, then scratched her cheek, surveying the beauty of what she hoped would carry her…her whatever he was, over the finish line first."


MY SUGGESTION: "Check your pilot's seat, Mr. Alexander." She scratched her check, surveying the beauty of what she hoped would carry her...her whatever he was, over the finish line first.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Fearful tears filled his eyes." -- The author uses a good economy of words to convey a vivid picture in the reader's mind as well as communicate emotion. Mr. Alexander is afraid to race again.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: This is a steampunk fantasy which is an alternate past.
PLACE: airship race

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Sprocket

Sprocket is dedicated to her craft, but she also knows a little about Mr. Alexander and how to motivate him. Great characterization for a small story. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any puncutation/spelling mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

This was an entry for the Daily Flash Fiction which had a strict word count, and set words to be used for the prompt. The author did a great job meeting the challenge. The title is representative of the story, and the opening places the reader right in the scene ready to go. Well done!
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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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20
20
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Tanner inherits a train ticket from his late great Uncle, but there's more than meets the eye. He just has to figure it out.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Maybe there's a reason the ticket was in a frame. The story plunks down several clues and the reader must piece them together. I liked it because the story made you think as a reader.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Tanner's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "It was a small rectangular, paper object, faded orange in colour." It's a simple description, and it's easy to picture the ticket in the reader's mind, but, for me, reading with a more critical eye, it's almost too simple. There's something up with this ticket.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: Uncle Gregory's mansion mostly

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Tanner

Tanner pays his respects and gets more than he bargained for. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any puncutation mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for spelling. I think I spotted Gregory mis-spelled.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

This story was written for the Writer's Cramp and had a 1K word limit. I thought the story did a good job with the word limit and used a good economy of words. The title is the prompt which fits the story. The opening intrigues the reader. An interesting story that could be the seed of a longer story.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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21
21
Review of April Fools!  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

It's April Fools and 2 young children work hard to play a trick on their parents.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the tricks! Totally age appropriate. It's a warm, lighthearted read about a sweet family with a hint of comedy.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person from Daniel's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: “This isn’t an apple!” he moaned and collapsed to the floor.


MY SUGGESTION: "This isn't an apple!" He collapsed to the floor and moaned.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Daniel squinted suspiciously at the cherubic faces of his twins. His daughter had caramel smeared across her forehead, her hands, and the tray of apples she presented to him. His son had his own tray, filled with cake pops. Flour was sprinkled through his red hair."

This is the opening paragraph, yet it accomplishes a lot. It uses a good economy of words to paint a paint a picture in the reader's mind of young children who have just tore up the kitchen prepping "April's Fools" for their parents. It lures you in as a reader and you want to learn if they are successful.

After using the opening paragraph to set the scene, the author can now focus on using the rest of the word count to tell the story.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: in the kitchen

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

It's an ensemble cast with Mom, Dad, Emily, and Robbie

Each as their own unique roll to play in the story. Well done. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier on the eyes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits the vinyette well. This was an entry for the Daily Flash Fiction and the author did a great job working with the prompt and painting a funny family scene. It's a nice read and good chuckle.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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22
22
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem dedicated to the emotional challenges of making banana bread. It's the endless question - to bake or not to bake?

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

This is a fun, lighthearted poem that a lot of people can identify with.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. The 1st and 2nd and 3rd and 4th lines rythme in each stanza.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read and has a nice flow when read out loud.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "A speckled friend sat on the kitchen shelf," It's playful and intriguing. It doesn't take the reader long to figure out it's a banana. It's a great visual that one can picture in their imagination and puts the reader in a curious mood.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader, venting their curiousity and compelling them to keep reading. The title fits the poem well. The poem is lighthearted and fun.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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23
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Review of Ode to New Year's  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem dedicated to the fleeting passage of time on New Year's Day.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play in the poem. It was succinct and on point.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This an acrostic poem. The word used in the poem is "Ephemeral" which is also defined as a note at the end of the poem. It's the perfect word to use to capture the fleeting moment of the holiday. There is an AABB rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML to make it easy on the eyes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Making memories without delay, Ere precious time slips away." Usually we all have something to do on New Year's Day. We ring in the New Year watching the ball drop. We go to a game, watch a parade, whatever it is, it's something we'll remember, but it's only for a day and it will slip alway. Something to ponder when you celebrate.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws in the reader and holds their attention. The title fits the poem well. Very nice expression.

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24
24
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

*Reading* A poll what type of musical instruments appeal to you.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

It's an appealing question as just about everyone appreciates a live music presentation. I selected guitar, as I had lessons on the guitar myself when I was a kid, but I think as far as live music goes, drums is a close 2nd and then the flute.

*Star* ENGAGING

The introduction really sells the appeal for the question and engages the reader.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a good variety of choices of instruments. I like that other was an option.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The introduction really set the tone for the question asked. If anything, you could offer a trinket as an incentive to take the poll? Suggestion only. I would also put this on the newsfeed to garner more attention. I think I think this is a great poll for the question presented.

Reviewed by StephBee for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive .

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25
25
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

*Reading* A poll about the appeal of the lesser houses of Game of Thrones.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I thought this was a very creative and interesting question to ask. Game of Thrones was a great show and those who played here at WDC embraced the challenge. I think I picked Greyjoy - We Do Not Sow.

*Star* ENGAGING

The poll offers a lot of well thought out minor houses options.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a good variety of mottos.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The introduction really set the tone for the question asked and had a lot of Games of Thrones appeal. I thought the question was fun and the poll was engaging.

Reviewed by StephBee for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive .

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