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Review Requests: ON
3,362 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Sandy Supposes engages the reader using everyday stories to draw the reader in.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the sincerity behind each post. I especially liked the story/post about how the author's dad liked to cook.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog had a nice, conversational tone, but I might suggest spacing between the paragraphs on WDC to make it easier on the eyes.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more WDC ML and links for a visual appeal. I enjoyed visiting your blog. By my count, I had 9 individual days for June for the Bard's Hall Contest, 1 day short for the contest. Keep blogging and exploring! *Smile*

Glowing Steph
2
2
Review of The Kingdom  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

The Kingdom engages the reader with heartfelt stories of what it was like growing up.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the honesty behind the entries. They were very endearing.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. The author uses YouTube to post links to memorable songs.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts, of what it was like growing up. I think a lot of people can connect the struggles as they are similar to every generation.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog, though the introduction does a good job with with words letting the reader know what to expect. I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB
3
3
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Writings in the Sand engages the reader with the author telling us a little about themselves cats, and political divisiveness. Ditto about Edgar Allen Poe.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the title. It suit the blog well. Nice musings that were sincere, yet washed away easy when the tide came in.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. Several WDC community members left comments.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts. I liked how the author talked about themselves, WDC and mused about stuff.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. Some posts had an "edgy" expressive tone to them.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

This is just a meat and potatoes blog. There's no fancy graphics or much WDC ML which I might suggest to throw in a few to help establish the mood/tone of the blog. I liked the word play of the introduction, and I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB
4
4
Review of Toe in the Water  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Toe in the Water engages the reader by taking about WDC, the community and sometimes nothing.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the title. I thought it set the tone for the blog well.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. Several posts had comments on them.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts about WDC and writing.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic or some WDC ML in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB
5
5
Review of On The Write Path  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

On the Write Path engages the reader by sharing travels and adventures.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I love traveling. I think you learn a lot more about a place if you can go to it.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage.

*Star*VARIETY

The posts engaged the reader using a nice, conversational voice.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. There was a nice, light tone to the posts.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

Good use of graphics in the introduction to set the mood/tone of the tone. The title grabs the reader. I enjoyed visiting your blog. If anything, there weren't enough entries in June for the Bard's Hall Contest. Keep blogging! *Smile*

Glowing Steph
6
6
Review of PORCH PONDERINGS  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Blog engages the reader by sharing tidbits from her porch in Montana.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author built the theme of observing life from her porch in Montana

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

The posts had a nice variety and mainly talked about daily life and the struggles/challenges that readers can relate to.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. There was a nice, warmhearted tone to the posts.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more graphics, and links for a visual appeal. My last suggestion might to give your blog another name other than "blog" Maybe? "Observations from the Porch?" "Montana Porch?" Suggestions only. I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Glowing Steph
7
7
Review of I moved on  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Change brings hope.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the the opening: "I moved on, I moved forward to an antique land..." Nice word play here, moving forward by going backward.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. I liked the structure of the poem and how it was presented.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "The lone and level sands will stretch far away as a I run to the nightingale..."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Good use of Shelly's Ozymandias. Nice word play throughout.

I have no suggestions for improvement. LIne count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph }
8
8
Review of Ever Changing  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem is about how change and it's pain affects our lives.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author worked the prompt into the heart of the poem.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There were some stragetic rhymes, but no set patterns.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation or spelling mistakes mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "This ever changing life is like a merry-go-round." Nice visual. I'm spinning on the merry-go-around, too.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Change, when it happens, usually involves some type of pain. I know when we have change at work my co-workers utter words of distress. It's our reflex. How we handle it is up to us.

I have no suggestions for improvement. Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph } }
9
9
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Sudden change grips the mind, the rails shake, will it end?

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the imagery of the poem as well as the design.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. It is presented in written form in such a way that the reader needs to read it to appreciate the presentation.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the crumbling of your mind, the deterioration of your soul, the undoing of your world."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The 3rd stanza paints a gripping visual and evokes heartfelt emotion. The poem accelerates after that, taking the reader on a ride of change and how it can affect people. The last word is heart stopping. Very good expression.

Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
10
10
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Every milestone in life involves sudden change.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the progression of the poem from young life to old.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. I liked the repeating line of "adjusting to change takes time" in juxtaposition of the change sudden change brings.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "her eyes grow dim, her hearing fails, her pace grows slow."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I loved how the poem told a heartwarming story that resonates with readers of all ages. The emotion tugs on the heartstrings.

Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
11
11
Review of Sudden Change  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Sudden change transforms the old norms to the newer ones.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the word play. It grabbed my attention and held it.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There are no rhymes.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Sudden change is the Frankenstein we all fear."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem draws inspiration from the prompt well. I loved the progression from the change, the death of the old, the apocalypse, the new. The short lines build tension and suspense well.

Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
12
12
Review of A Crack, A Chasm  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A crack turns into a fissure, than a chasm & and sudden change spasms forward.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem started with a crack and then boom! Sudden change. I loved the form of the poem, it caught my attention and held it.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There are no rhymes.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation or spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read and the progression holds the reader's attention.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Darkness creates light, pain leads to salvation..."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I felt like I was along for the ride as the poem grew and progressed. Well done. The poem used the prompt as inspiration; again, well done. Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules. I have no suggestions for improvement. The title fits the poem well.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
13
13
Review of Revival  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

An old church experiences radical change.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I needed the note at the end of the poem to help give me perspective, but once I had it, and re-read the poem, everything clicked for me. The poem possesses heartbreaking resonance.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There are no rhymes.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem requires the reader to slow down and let the words sink in.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "But it hurts inside as slips away something that gave us purpose."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem tells a heartbreaking of story of the old lost and the new change, and asks the question: "Is sudden change a good thing?" Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules. I have no suggestions for improvement. The title fits the poem well.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
14
14
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem dealt with sudden change and how one reacts to it. It is inspired by the Mary Shelley quote: "Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change."

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play; it deepened the experession of the poem. There was a rythmic flow that I experienced when I read the poem. This flow grabbed me and held me fixed.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There were some stragetic rhymes, but no set patterns.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "like clanging cymbals to the mind"

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Good use of "distortion, disruption, desolation, despair," to emotionally grab the reader. The ending leaves the reader with uncertainty, as all change does. Well written. I have no suggestions for improvement. LIne count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph } }
15
15
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE TRAVELOGE

The author takes us to Sovana, Tuscany.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

How the Inn was low key and invited the visitors to just relax in the courtyard.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's no dialogue.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I might suggest incorporating a bit more description. What does the bench look like? Smell? Are there flowers in the courtyard? What does it feel like to the touch. You don't need a lot, just a sentence or two to invite the reader to visit.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: Sovana, Tuscany

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Good luck in the contest. Good use of the prompt.

#1 2009 Review signature
16
16
Review of The secret  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Fiona visits her family in the cemetery and finds an older man doing the same.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

This is a very heartwarming character driven story.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited through Fiona's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Chilly one today missus, to fit for man nor beast. Best get going, it looks like snow." He said, lifting his rheumy eyes to the leaden sky."

MY SUGGESTION: He lifted his rheumy eyes to the leaden sky. "Chilly one today missus, not fit for man nor beast. Best get going, it looks like snow."

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "His ragged coat had buttons missing, she could see the dirty collarless shirt underneath. As she closed the gap, he raised his head, smiling, showing tobacco stained teeth." The descriptions are spot on throughout the story. There's a good economy of words which paint a nice visual picture.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: a cemetery bench.

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Fiona and Bill

There's enough here to understand their motivations. Both of them are a low point, struggling to find hope.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. Good luck in the contest. Overall, a very heartwarming, inspiring story. Good use of the prompt.

#1 2009 Review signature
17
17
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CNOTE

*Reading* A collection of Cnotes for all occasions.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the whimsical nature of the Cnotes. They warm the heart.

*Star* ENGAGING

I like how vivid and colorful the notes were.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a nice variety of notes. I can come back through the year and have fun.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

Good use of graphics in the introduction to set the tone for the collection.. I thought the prices for the notes were reasonable. A heartwarming collection!

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Contest MAR 2020
Angel Army Review Bear
18
18
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CNOTE

*Reading* A collection of Spring Recipes.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the coffee receipe. Looking forward to trying it.

*Star* ENGAGING

I like how the Cnotes offer a recipe for spring happiness.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a nice variety of notes which I liked because then I can personalize it.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the Cnote, if doable. I thought the prices for the notes were reasonable considering the benefit of the recipe.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Contest MAR 2020
Angel Army Review Bear
19
19
Review of On Three Cupids  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (1.5)
*Note1* My review is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2020. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

*PointRight* Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
*PointRight* Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
*PointRight* Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
*PointRight* This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2020! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
*PointRight* Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

*PointRight* A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

*Reading* THE POEM

This poem is about 3 cupids who kinda stir the pot.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: BAD. I liked: "A bald, hairy cupid." -- Bad visual. Just plain Bad.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a rhyming poem. rhyme scheme: aabba. There are 3 stanzas.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Okay intentionally bad poetry.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2020 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Glowing Steph
20
20
Review of Bad Cupid  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
*Note1* My review is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2020. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

*PointRight* Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
*PointRight* Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
*PointRight* Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
*PointRight* This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2020! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
*PointRight* Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

*PointRight* A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

*Reading* THE POEM

This poem is about Bad Cupid. Love the graphic that envisions the "bad" cupid. This bad cupid is a HOT MESS with his bent arrows and most naked.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: BAD. Description: He's always most naked like some kinda porn. I think the picture paints a better visual.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a rhyming poem. The 2nd and 4th lines rhyme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Okay intentionally bad poetry.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2020 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Glowing Steph
21
21
Review of Ode to Cupid  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (1.0)
*Note1* My review is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2020. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

*PointRight* Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
*PointRight* Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
*PointRight* Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
*PointRight* This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2020! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
*PointRight* Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

*PointRight* A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

*Reading* THE POEM

This poem is about Cupid who matched the narrator with a troll.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: UGLY. I especially liked: Cherubic rat! You wing-ed bat!

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a rhyming poem. The stanzas have 3 lines. #1 and #2 lines rhyme and then the 3rd line in each stanza rhymes.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Well done intentionally bad poetry. Just plain awful.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2020 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Glowing Steph
22
22
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Amelia slipped into the 1920's to do some "research."

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the creativity and imagination behind the story. There were a lot of puzzle pieces that I was trying to fit together as a reader.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Amelia. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. If anything, I would suggest spacing between character dialogue. It was kind of confusing for me as reader.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. You could expand in it a bit more. You don't need much. Touch on the 5 senses, smell and touch maybe. A sentence or two to tell me how things smell like, etc.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: 1929
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Amelia

There's enough here to understand her motivations. She uses the "Contraption" to travel back into time and gets an eyeful.
*Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
23
23
Review of Snowglobe  
Review by StephBee
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello, I'm StephBee and I am reviewing your story for
 
SURVEY
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (E)
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
#1221635 by Writing.Com Support
Thanks for entering.

*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Jen/Gin has entered the Snowglobe to get her friend.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the creativity and imagination used to tell the story.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Jen/Gin. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a separate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Yes ma'am," he replied while sticking his hand out. "The name's Gibson. Mayor Art Gibson."

MY SUGGESTION: He stuck his hand out. "Yes, Ma'am. I'm Mayor Art Gibson."

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to put me in the story, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest taping into the five senses. I might suggest a strategic sentence placed that visually taps into the limitation of the snowglobe. Hint at it sooner to build suspense.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: the future
PLACE: artificial world

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Jen/Gin

She goes into the Snowglobe to save her friend. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I might suggest a minor edit for spelling and punctuation. I would also suggest an edit for adverbs. Instead of "Art replied warmly," I might say, "A deep warmth came from his voice." I find that draws the reader into the character a bit more.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. I might suggest incorporating some action into the first paragraph. The description is solid, but hook me first then pull me in with the description. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
24
24
Review of Foresight  
Review by StephBee
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, I'm StephBee and I am reviewing your story for
 
SURVEY
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (E)
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
#1221635 by Writing.Com Support
Thanks for entering.

*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Dee has bad dreams that hint at the future.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the creativity and imagination used to tell the story. The story had a nice flow and engaged the reader. Good character voice.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Dee. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Good use of dialogue tags.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. Good use of eyes/touch from the five senses. Good, solid opening line catches the reader's attention: "Oven-like heat saturated each breath."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: future
PLACE: rural/desolate setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Dee

There's enough here to understand her motivations. Her "dreams" are premonitions that make her seem "crazy" to others. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML. The story is easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. My only constructive suggestion is that while I liked the story, I thought it really stretched from the visual prompt. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
25
25
Review of Silence  
Review by StephBee
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I'm StephBee and I am reviewing your story for
 
SURVEY
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (E)
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
#1221635 by Writing.Com Support
Thanks for entering.

*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Hank realizes something is wrong when he embraces the fact that the snowy street is empty.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Good voice. Good use of the visual prompt to inspire the story. I thought the title fit the story.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Hank. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's not much dialogue. The dialogue accents the narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. You don't need much, just a few strategic sentences to paint a more graphic visual of Hank standing in the street surrounded by the snow.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Hank

There's enough here to understand his motivations.Despite the hard work of clearing the snow, I believe Hank found a happy place. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. I like how the simplicity of the opening drew me in. The end is sad, and happy at the same time. Well done, that's tough to pull off. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
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