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Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Jason Lee and his family discoer there are aliens out there...

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the imagination behind the story. It had a "Red Dawn" feel to it.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscent. I might suggest an edit for past tense. Most professional editors suggest using past tense to tell a story. Present tense can get confusing for the reader.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the five senses to build suspense and tension.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural snowy setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Jason Lee

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He wants to defend his family and homeland. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I might suggest a minor edit for spelling and punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. The title fits the story. Word count was listed and the prompt was followed in accordance with the Bard's Hall Contest rules. Good luck in the contest.

A cute little bee

2
2
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Phil's car gets stuck in a snowstorm and he finds a cabin to keep warm...

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. It wasn't what I expected.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Phil. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags were used appropriately.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. As a suggestion, you could build on the deep expanse between the cold and heat and compare it with it with Phil and Samardijic.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural snowy setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Phil

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He gets stuck in a snow storm and seeks out shelter. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. Character voice was short, a bit quirky, but engaging. The opening draws in the reader. The title is a nice fit for the story. Word count was listed and the prompt was followed in accordance with the Bard's Hall Contest rules. Good luck in the contest.

A cute little bee

3
3
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

An unnamed narrator gets stuck in the snow. Good thing there's a cabin nearby - and a dog.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the story. It was very heartwarming and uplifting.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by the unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense was used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags were used appropriately. I might suggest tapping into the five senses, for example, touch and how the cold might have played with her perception.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. For example, what kind of dog was it?

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural snowy setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Unnamed Narrator

There's enough here to understand their motivations. It's time to find a place to hunker down for the snow storm. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. While the narrator didn't need to be named, it would have been nice if the dog got it out of the narrator.

The opening engages the reader. The title was a tad vague for the story. Word count was listed and the prompt was followed in accordance with the Bard's Hall Contest rules. Good luck in the contest.

A cute little bee

4
4
Review of Candles of Eight  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
A look at Hanukkah and what it brings, prayers, cheer, and goodness.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the line, "Eight candles lit on the final day." It created a visual for me of accomplishment and satisfaction.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. The poem captures heartfelt emotion. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
5
5
Review of Silent Night  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem about nature and rebirth.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

A nice visual of nature. It was easy to picture the scene in my mind as I read.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. The acrostic of "Silent Night" paints a nice scene of a silent night in nature, waiting for rebirth. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
6
6
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
The poems captures, nature and all the trimmings of the season.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Christmas is what you make it, and so I enjoyed how the author gave it such a heartwarming personal spin, capturing the nature, the busyness of the season, and the reason.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. The author did a great job with the acrostic "Winter Wonderland," capturing the ambience of the season. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
7
7
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
A hopeful message inspired by the season.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the line, "Speak with a kindness in your heart;" - it is a guiding premise for all.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I might suggest checking the WDC ML at the beginning of the poem.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. The poem looks back and challenges us to look forward with hope and inspiration. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
8
8
Review of Silent Night  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
A heartwarming retelling of the Christmas story.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author used the Acrostic "Silent Night" to tell the gentle story of the night of Jesus' birth.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. A nice, quiet, peaceful poem. Easy visuals that put the reader there with the shepards. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
9
9
Review of Silver Bells  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
Waiting on Christmas, Waiting on New Year.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the hopeful and heartfelt feelings I got from reading the poem.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Silver Bells fit both Christmas and New Year's. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
10
10
Review of SILENT NIGHT  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
Brief words paint a picture of the season.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem evoked holiday visuals with simplicity of words.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. The poem is a nice reminder that the things we do can bring goodwill and heartfelt emotions to the season. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
11
11
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
A personal poem about the season and a reason not to be "bah humbug."

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked message of love.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. I enjoyed the presentation of finding love even though a person's instinct might be to find the "humbug." Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
12
12
Review of Bah Humbug  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
Is Christmas a time to be holy or a humbug? The poem challenges us to unburden our minds and let our heart rejoice.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved how the poem asked questions and made us think about how we want to be like/act during the Christmas season.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

While there are rhythms, there is no set pattern. A nice spin on "Bah Humbug." Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
13
13
Review of Star of the Night  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
A gentle visual of the "Star of the Night," Jesus.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the ending lines, "Love here shining forth, Star of the Holy Night," succinct and heartfelt.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase. In this poem it is "Silver Bells."

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. The poem paints a warm vignette of resting with Jesus the night of his birth. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
14
14
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
This paints paints a warmhearted, yet cold visual of a winter wonderland. Nice word play.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the visual. It reminded me that even cold can be beautiful.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. Good use of WDC ML to add color into the poem.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. The poem captures a moment well and stirs heartfelt emotions. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
15
15
Review of Ring those Bells  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
This is a poem about a personal meaning of the ringing of bells at Christmas time.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the heartfelt emotion of the poem and how it gently reminds us the reason for the season.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

There is no specific rythme scheme. Very inspiring! Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
16
16
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM
This is a poem about what Christmas is like Down Under.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the visuals. Christmas can be fun, even when it's summertime.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. The rhythm scheme is ABCB. I appreciated the glossary at the end which helped to explain Australian phrases. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
17
17
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem about fear inspired by a quote from Samuel Johnson, "O, how vain and vile a passion is this fear! What base, uncomely things it makes men do."

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I like how the first line of each stanza addresses a "trait" of fear.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no structured rhyme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Very expressive! A poem about fear that sums up the worst of it. A creative take on the prompt, but for the contest, I believe a short story was the requirement for the contest.

Glowing Steph

18
18
Review of Contest Entries  
for entry "The Handful of Dust
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Milly tries to overcome her fear of dust.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

A freaky spin on the prompt.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited person by Milly. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a separate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Just watch the just please," Mike said with a sigh.

MY SUGGESTION: "Just watch the dust." Mike sighed.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "...unsettling passed between them, as a wolf and tigress might stare at each other in the night."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: unsure
PLACE: unsure

This is something that could be a little more clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Milly

There's enough here to understand his motivations. She's afraid of dust. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Good use of the prompt for inspiration. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall OCT 22 contest.

Glowing Steph
19
19
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Torben's friend goes a little too far with truth, dare and dust.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the story embraced the prompt.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited person by Torben. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "...wind-tormented branches whipping the weak clod-filtered moonlight into fantastic shapes..."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: present day?
PLACE: cemetery

This is something that that could be a little more clarified for the reader, especially the time. The early 1800's in New England could add to the creep factor.


*Star* CHARACTERS

Torben

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's not one to turn down a dare, no matter how fearful he is. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. In the last paragraph, Torben is spelled "Corben" so I would check the spelling on it.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. A nasty spin on the prompt. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall OCT 22 contest.

Glowing Steph
20
20
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

The ghost of mental illness lives in the narrator's mind.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the quote inspired the story. Very suspenseful.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Bruno. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "A shadow appeared before me, staring back at the me with balls of fire where eyes should have been."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: urban setting?

This is something that that could be a little more clarified for the reader.


*Star* CHARACTERS

Unnamed Narrator

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's a little weary having to deal with Bruno. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Very freaky psychological spin on the prompt. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall OCT 22 contest.

Glowing Steph
21
21
Review of Who Dunnit?  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A Cop Shop Mystery, Chef Cawpa has been murdered. Who dunnit?

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

A creative way to solve the Cop Shop Mystery, by telling the tale in poetic form.

*Star* STRUCTURE

The poem has 5 stanzas with 4 lines and a couplet.
There is a rhyme scheme but it varies from stanza to stanza.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "I believe since there is no Colonel Mustard, the evidence would be clear."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The open stanza engages the reader. Sentence count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Cop Shop Contest

Glowing Steph
22
22
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Little Robby had a secret. Poor Chef Cawpa.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I can picture little Robby plotting his schemes with a smashed smile and an evil, husky chuckle.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's no dialogue.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: banquet hall

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Little Robby

There's enough here to understand the character's motivation - he's jealous. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The story was short and easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Good opening line entices the reader to keep going. Sentences were listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
23
23
Review of Regrets  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

The author reflects on life and love, and how he nurtured one aspect of his life and not the other. Now he finds himself with regrets.


*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play; it deepened the expression of the poem.

*Star* STRUCTURE

Each stanza consists of two lines which rhyme. The "shortness" of the stanzas heightens the emotional regret of the poem.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "attenuated fingers brushed over the stone, teary eyed, dejected, he emits a moan." Great visual, heartfelt emotion.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Well written. The poem does a great job of evoking emotion. I have no suggestions for improvement.

Reviewed by StephB for the Angel Army SEP 2022 review challenge

Review Signature
24
24
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE ESSAY

*Reading* The author talks about her passion for writing and why writing is important to her.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the voice of the essay. It had an easy flow and pulled me in as a reader.

*Star* ENGAGING

The essay hit on several key points that I think most writers share:
Writing is a form of expression.
Writing is personal. You control your writing.
Writing is a means to release emotions, happiness and sadness.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I have no suggestions for improvement. The essay contains a powerful, upbeat message about writing that readers/writers can identify with. Very heartfelt and sincere.

Reviewed by StephB for Angel Army.
Angel Army Review Bear
25
25
Review of Let's Go.  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I'm StephBee and I am an official judge reviewing your story for
 
SURVEY
Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest  (E)
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
#2002964 by Writing.Com Support
Thanks for entering.

*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Mickey and May manage to make some time to get away.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the simplicity of Mickey and May's relationship. It was a very sweet story that tugged on the heartstrings.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by May. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. Good use of words that tapped into the five senses. I especially liked: "May thought Mickey's crooked teeth made him even more appealing."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

May

There's enough here to understand her motivations. She's very responsible but also needs her time to be "just a kid." *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

My only suggestion, and this is minor, would be to expand the scene where Mickey takes May to the Cadillac. Did they ride bikes? Walk? Stop by to buy gum? Build up the suspense a bit more as Mickey takes May to the car. I thought the story captured the "grittiness" of the song & it's inspiration well. The opening easily engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

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