My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE LYRICS
The lyrics are written for a wedding and evoke hope for a bright future.
WHAT I LIKED
I could easily hear this in my mind, nice and slow, sung from the heart.
EXPRESSIVE
The lyrics express sentiments of hope, love, and respect.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I have no other suggestions for improvement. I like how "This, for you." becomes very poignant in the context used. Well done. Bitem was posted IAW with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE LYRICS
The lyrics tell a story of drought and wishing for rain.
WHAT I LIKED
Living in California, I can honestly tell say this last year's drought was miserable. I liked how you captured the desire of the narrator for rain.
EXPRESSIVE
The lyrics expressed a lot of emotion, capturing the sadness of drought conditions and the hope of improvement upon rain.
MECHANICS
I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. I did not spot any spelling mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I have no other suggestions for improvement. I liked the refrain. It was simple and easy to hear in my mind as I read. Bitem was posted IAW with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A fantasy that captures a moment - what will Inferno do?
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the plot. The hero is faced with a choice.
STRUCTURE
This is a flash fiction.
The story is told in the 3rd person from Inferno's point of view.
The story as a passive voice, more telling and showing. I might suggest changing to an active voice, and show us through action and dialogue Inferno's choice.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I might suggest to space lines between paragraphs on WDC. Makes it easier to read.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The story presented Inferno's choice. Suggestions as mentioned above.
Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall APR/MAY Contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
It's been fifty since Joyce and Herbert met in an April shower...
WHAT I LIKED
I thought the story did a great job conveying a moment and contrasting the 50 years then and now.
STRUCTURE
This is a flash fiction. The story engages the reader and evokes emotion.
DIALOGUE
Most professional editors discourage putting action in a dialogue tag. Make it a separate sentence. For example as written: "Stop being such an old misery," Joyce said, turning her face into the rain. My suggestion: "Stop being such an old misery." Joyce turned her face into the rain.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest an edit for punctuation.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The story flowed well and was easy to read. Joyce had sweet memories of their first meeting, while Herbert is more jaded due to the life they led over 50 years. Well done.
Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall APR/MAY Contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
An unnamed narrator works in a morgue where strange things happen.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the how the story flowed. It was quick and easy to read, easy to visualize.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.
FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Settle down all you Dead Heads" I yelled.
MY SUGGESTION: "Settle down all you dead heads!" Surprisingly, for a moment, they did.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into scent. I can't imagine the morgue smells all that great. You can amp up the details by adding a couple of foul scents that make the stomach turn.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting
This is something that is clarified enough for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Unnamed narrator
There's enough here to understand his motivations. He just wants to make it through the night.
MECHANICS
I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation and spelling. For example, "seams" should be "seems."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Good first person voice. Write on!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
A limerick is a form of poetry, especially one in five-line anapestic meter with a strict rhyme scheme (AABBA), which has humorous intent. The first, second and fifth lines are usually longer than the third and fourth.
THE POEM
This is about a dog's spring adventures.
WHAT I LIKED
I absolutely loved the layers to this poem. We've got March, April, May and every month promises something new. Well done!
STRUCTURE
The limerick followed the AABBA rhyme scheme. It was rhymed and humorous. I especially liked the 4 stanzas of limericks to the poetry. A challenge indeed!
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. This is a funny limerick that really embodies the style of poetry well. Write on!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
A furry little rodent prepares for his big day.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the story the poem told and I liked how it was told from the perspective of the groundhog.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem. Each stanza has 4 lines. There's a AA rythme in the first line and the 2nd/4th lines rythme. I like the scheme. It's a bit more complex, challenging, and the author makes it work well.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The poem has a nice flow to it that I enjoyed.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Justin meets a girl and can't remember her name. The puzzle haunts him until he has a revelation in his chemistry class.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the characters and how they felt very comfortable with one another. The story had a natural feel to it.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
I loved the characterization. Great character voice.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the story forward.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes and put the reader in the moment with Justin.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting.
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Justin
There's enough here to understand his motivations. He learns a little bit about himself when he meets a new girl who captures his attention.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The opening engages the reader. I really liked Stephanie. She was a perfect 'match' for Justin. A very well written, engaging story. This is review is given for the Genre Action and Fundraiser.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Steve and Cassandra find a moment on a Jamaican beach.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the characters and how they felt very comfortable with one another. The story had a natural feel to it.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by Steve. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the story forward.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scene, if anything, you could expand on this. You don't need much. Capture the the setting of the beach using the senses - using smell and touch. What does the beach smell like? Is it windy?
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: beach
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Steve
There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's saying good bye to a dear friend. It's a bittersweet scene, but leaves hoping they meet again in the future.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. A very well written vignette that taps into emotion. I always enjoy popping into your port, Kiya. You're stories are well written and engaging. This review for the Genre Auctions and Fundraiser Package.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Poppy the butterfly tells us about her life.
WHAT I LIKED
I really enjoyed the character voice. Well done.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by Poppy. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. You could expand on this if you wanted, just a couple of stragetic sentences put in just the right place. There's great visuals so I would challenge the author to work on touch and smell.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural setting?
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Poppy
There's enough here to understand her motivations. She eats, she pollinates, she procreates.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for capitalization. Poppy should be capitalized since it's a proper name.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. A very whismical story and cute to read. I enjoyed it very much. Write on!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
The author decides to "shake it up" a little and let her imagination shine.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the voice. It engages the reader.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by the author. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
CHARACTERS
Narrator/author
There's enough here to understand her motivations. She wants to be a better writer. It takes putting a lot of things together well: imagination, emotions, and inspiration.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. If anything I might not using all capitals in certain words. You really don't need them to get your point across "Wake up, Brain" sends the same message just as effectively.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. The essay is engaging and sets attainable goals for 2014 in her writing.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
A look at lighthouses and how important they are to ships near the coast.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked this look at lighthouses. It states why lighthouses are important, describes what they look like, and talks a little about the history of lighthouses without being overwhelming.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropropiately.
DESCRIPTIONS
The author uses a good economy of words to describe lighthouses.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The essay holds interest, it's brief, yet very imformative.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Arielle and Cal enjoy dancing.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author caputured the sponanety of the dance.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the 3rd person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the story forward.
Minor correction, as written: Arielle whispers, "You have any other good ideas?"
My suggestion: Arielle whispered. "You have any other good ideas?"
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scene. You could expand on this if you wanted, focusing on the five senses, specifically, hearing, and smell. You don't need a lot just a stragetically placed sentence or two that would amp up the story.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: a kitchen
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Arielle and Cal
There's enough here to understand their motivations. They enjoy dancing. Anything can be dancing inspiration to them - even a dish towel.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening intrigues the reader. I liked the ending. The story evokes romance. Write on!
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My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE LYRICS
WHAT I LIKED
WHAT I LIKED
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
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