| My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
Aimee wants a pet, but Dad needs a little convincing, especially since she wants a giraffe.
WHAT I LIKED
Aimee's adorable character shines through the dialogue.
This is told in the third person limited from Dad's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
As per the contest prompt, the story should be all dialogue with no dialogue tags. The challenge was to capture the essence of a young child asking for a pet.
Dialogue tags, when used, should be intended to identify the speaker only, for example, "she said," or "he said." Action, should be a separate sentence.
For example, as written: "What am I saying yes too?” I asked my smiling, little angle as she swayed back and forth.
I might suggest: "What am I saying yes to?" My smiling little girl swayed back and forth, her hands behind her back, her dimple melting my heart.
TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
There's enough here to understand her motivations. She's a sweet little girl who
just wants a pet to love.
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for spelling. Angel is spelled "angle." Also, I might suggest using "okay" in creative writing, and using "OK" when using it in a journalistic style.
Suggestions listed above. Dad is lucky to have a sweet girl like Aimee. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.