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Themes, Elements, and Tropes. Some things that Science Fiction is best known for.

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This Broken Earth

Chapter 12: Before You Go-Go

BoM / TWS Message Forum

Message forum for readers of the BoM / TWS interactive universe.

Tell me, how do you see the world?

when a lone wolf met a bird, and had a talk

My Poetry

A Gathering for all my poetry, of all types

READ A NEWBIE

What am I even doing-

Request by a friend to make a poem out of my previous poem descriptions… WHY WOULD YOU-

~Sojourn.

Embracing trials as catalysts for soul growth, inner transformation, and eternal freedom.

Who am i

This is a exploration of identity, self-perception and human condition.

My class…

… is very chaotic. Help. But I can make anything into a poem, sooooo….

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Fictional character suits

You find a warehouse like building with no one in it. You become the owner.

Are you comma crazy?

Do you love commas, or are you afraid of them?

Prose About Jane Austen and Her Novels

A prose I wrote about Jane Austen and her novels.

Mutiny

There's a mutiny afoot.

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StephBee

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151

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4775225

Review of The Long & Winding Moo

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE MEMOIR

A young tHiNg finds Writing.com early in the 2000's and makes friends while building community.

WHAT I LIKED

Great character voice. It's very conversational and draws you right in.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by tHiNg. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

THEME

For me, I picked out the theme of life on WDC and how fun it can be. ♥HOOves♥

has been a busy bee here on WDC from writing, reading, product reviews, and creating merit badges.

EMOTIONAL BEATS
I could tell how much tHiNg enjoyed being a member of the community. ((((hugs))) for sharing that mott

had passed away. tHiNg may be a hand, but she's very sweet and human. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Great use of WDC ML to highlight your WDC memoir.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws the reader right in. when tHiNg isn't tHiNg, hOOves is running lose on the website, sharing her cowisdoms with the community. The writing here is candid, honest, and sincere. tHiNg is such a wonderful member here on WDC. I'm glad to know her and highly recommend people check out her port!

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

An Angel Army Review

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152

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#4775173

Review of Immediate action

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

It's a hot day out and the narrator has a decision to make when he finds dogs in a car.

WHAT I LIKED

The ending! Luckily, the vet performed a miracle!

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person omniscient. Past tense is used in the story.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.

OPENING PARAGRAPH

The opening paragraph sets the stage for the story's vinyette.

CHARACTERS

The narrator is well intentioned but doesn't know the "rest" of the story.

FLOW & PACING

The flash fiction has a beginning, middle and end.

MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The title fits the story. For me, I think this is an exercise in life lessons. The word count and "beat the heat" was highlighted in accordance with the contest rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph

153

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14 days may be credited.

#4774781

Review of An Opus Tie-Dye

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem was an comedic tribute to WDC's birthday.

WHAT I LIKED

I want to hear more about these 3 muses and what kind of trouble they cause.

STRUCTURE

This is a limerick. Limericks are five line poems of a single stanza with an AABBA rhyme scheme. The first, second, and fifth lines tend to have 7-10 syllables, while the third and fourth lines tend to have 5-7 syllables.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC to increase the font and make it easier on the eyes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Like elections, all that back-biting," Okay, it fits the rythme scheme, but it's a great description. It sums up the discord one gets from verbal tongue lashings, evoking emotions of frustrations and then just throwing it out to wind and moving on.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening invites the reader in and keeps them reading with the rythmic flow of a limerick and the comedic touch of the muses. The title is a excellent fit for the poem. I enjoyed the fun and rush of participating in the birthday fun.

A Bee Hive Review

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154

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14 days may be credited.

#4774576

Review of The Adonis

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

One way to beat the heat is to relax at an exclusive resort, drink in hand and admiring Adonis.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. Adonis does have a man after all!

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 1st person by an unnamed narrator. Presnt tense is used in the story. The tense is consistent.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue comes in at the ending.

OPENING PARAGRAPH

The opening paragraph put me right in the moment at the pool with a strawberry daiquiri in hand. Well done.

CHARACTERS

What I liked about the narrator is that they embraced the fantasy and enjoyed it. And wouldn't like to lounge around a luxury resort sipping a drinking and admiring the view?

FLOW & PACING

It's spot on for a flash fiction this size with a beginning, middle and end.

MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier on the eyes to read.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The title fits the story well. Nice, light-hearted comedic beats. The word count was listed and "beat the heat" was highlighted in accordance with the Bard's Hall Contest rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph

155

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14 days may be credited.

#4774372

Review of Beating the Heat

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Kevin discovers a way to beat the heat wave, but, it just might be poisonous...

WHAT I LIKED

I had a good laugh when I read the ingredients to beat the heat: sodium aluminum perchlorate and airplane fuel sound like a pretty anti-beat the heat forumula.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person omniscient. Past tense is used in the story.

DIALOGUE

Dialogue drives the story. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

OPENING PARAGRAPH

The opening paragraph put me right in the moment next to Kevin at the bunson burner. Well done!

CHARACTERS

Kevin and Benny.
Benny is the real genius here, but Kevin is also pretty entertaining. There's a lot packed into the characterization considering this is a flash fiction.

FLOW & PACING

It's spot on. Good transitions. I had no problem keeping up.

MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font for the eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The title fits the story. Nice comedic beat with the ingredients used to beat the heat. This is a story that doesn't take itself too seriously. The word count and "beat the heat" were highlighted in accordance with the rules. Good luck the Bard's Hall Contest!

Glowing Steph

156

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4774367

Review of Rainbow's Delight

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem an exploration of the rainbow.

WHAT I LIKED

The poet used a good variety of words to describe the rainbow, tapping into emotion nicely.

STRUCTURE

This is a diamante poem. A Diamante poem is a 7 line poem set up in a diamond shape.

Line 1: a noun/subject
Line 2: 2 adjectives describing line 1
Line 3: 3 "ing" words related to line 1
Line 4: use 2 words to describe the noun then 2 words to describe the antonym or synoym in line 7 (if there is an antonym used in line 7, the shift occurs here)
Line 5: 3 "ing" words related to line 7
Line 6: use 2 adjectives descibing line 7
Line 7: the 1st word's antonym or synonym.

While it looks easy, it may take some time to flesh out.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. If anything, I might use WDC ML for centering to create the diamond shape of the poem.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Promising, Fulfilling, Captivating," This the part of the poem where you use action verbs, and what's nice here is that they hint at the emotions and feelings generated when you see a rainbow. The visual presentation of the rainbow is indeed captivating and you want to stare at it and really soak in the experience. The rainbow offers a promise of hope and one can find that fulfilling in the moment.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening teases the reader to keep them reading. The title is a nice fit for the poem. A nice, uplifting and inspirational poem.

A Bee Hive Review

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157

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14 days may be credited.

#4774182

Review of A Honey of a Place

Review by StephBee

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem captured the essence of WDC from writing to fun activities and community.

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the rhythmic nature of the poem. It was fun to read out loud. There's a good vibe to it. I found the poem uplifting and it made me smile.

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with an AABBCCDD rythme scheme. Well done.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "this writing site, the most distinctive I've found with so much to do, its the best around" Honestly, this description does a great job of capturing the essence of WDC - it's a writing site, it's very distinctive, there's a lot from writing to puzzles and it honestly, no other site can or does offer all WDC does.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader and keeps them reading. The title is a nice fit for the poem. I enjoyed the good vibes!

A Bee Hive Review

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158

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14 days may be credited.

#4774176

Review of The Light's Reflection

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is about light and how it can bring light to your world.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the rhythmic nature of the poem as well as the upbeat message.

STRUCTURE

This is Kyrielle poem. Each stanza has 4 lines The rythme scheme is --AA, -AA- AA-- with the last line remaining the same. Well done.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Light's reflection is shining bright;Your final story will enfold" There's a lot of hope in this line. The light is shining bright especially on your life. Let the light shine bright as your life enfolds.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader in and keeps them reading. The title is a nice fit for the poem. I enjoyed the inspirational tone of the poem.

A Bee Hive Review

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159

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14 days may be credited.

#4773683

Review of The Clouds Are Lifted

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem carries a very inspirational message centered around our gift.

WHAT I LIKED

Whatever our gift is, for me, writing, it is one that that should be treasured and nurtured. The poem is a nice reminder that our gifts are what make us special.

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no set rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "There's a song in our heart that must be sung," There's a lot of emotion in us and we need to let it out, let it breath, let it grow, and not be afraid to do that.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening is very positive and upbeat. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Very inspirational. Well done!

A Bee Hive Review

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160

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14 days may be credited.

#4773379

Review of I Climbed To The Top

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem was about a climb to the top.

WHAT I LIKED

This poem was a double whammy in that it "climbed' as an etheree did, building on syllables, but it also climbed to the top and was richly rewarded.

STRUCTURE

This is and etheree poem. There are 10 lines in an etheree. As you go up in lines, you go up in syllables. For example:

Line 1 - 1 syllable
Line 2 - 2 syllable
and so on.

Line 10 will have 10 syllables.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "I could see for miles," It's an easy verse - usually at the top of the hill one sees for miles, but there's also a sense accomplishment there and that's the underlying emotion that hooks a reader.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title is a nice fit for the poem. The ending offers a nice pay off for the journey. Well done!

A Bee Hive Review

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161

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14 days may be credited.

#4773173

Review of MARA MARA

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

The only way to beat the heat is to Make Alaska Russian Again. But what kind of heat are you talking about?

WHAT I LIKED

A quirky tale about the beating the heat Russian style. In Alaska. Of course.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person omniscient. Past tense is used in the story.

DIALOGUE

There is no dialogue used.

OPENING PARAGRAPH

The opening paragraph hooked me right away with the numerous way to beat the heat listed which included a spoon, a fork and some Michael Jackson. It's a good thing Sergei came along.

CHARACTERS

There's the narrator and Sergei. It's cold in Alaska and Sergei is hot. Well. Do you want to beat the heat after all?

FLOW & PACING

Very stream of consciousness here, a tad bumpy in places but nails the ending.

MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make easy on the eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The title fits the story well. Good, solid opening. The story has nice, light-hearted comedic beats. The word count and "beat the heat" were highlighted in accordance with the contest rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Glowing Steph

162

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14 days may be credited.

#4773163

Review of Writing.Com

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem was a nice tribute WDC and the WDC Community.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how the poem talked about what you can get out of WDC.

STRUCTURE

This is an arcostic poem set to the word "Writing."

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Nothing is impossible show your stuff," It's an upbeat line that lets one know that there is a lot to do at WDC so take advantage of it.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening invites the reader in and keeps them reading. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Upbeat, positive, and encouraging!

A Bee Hive Review

A Queen Bee signature for the Bees at the Bee Hive

163

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14 days may be credited.

#4772902

Review of Flash fiction and poems

for entry "The Terrible Heat"

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

It's hot in the Sultan's Arab country to he goes to the science council looking for ways to beat the heat.

WHAT I LIKED

Cloud seeding is not the smartest way to "beat the heat." I did like the Sultan. He was a very relatable character.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person omniscent. Past tense is used in the story.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.

OPENING PARAGRAPH

The opening paragraph sets up the dilemma - how is the Sultan going to beat the heat? The opening engages the reader and keeps them reading.

CHARACTERS

The Sultan is the main character and you can feel his concern for his country. Habib is the guy who mixes the chemicals. I liked his work ethic.

FLOW & PACING

The opening set up the problem, the middle set on a solution and end wasn't for everyone. Well done.

MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. My only suggestion here, and it's minor and a matter of style - maybe increase the font a little to make it easier on the eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The title fits the story. This story was inspired what happened earlier to "certain desert country." earlier in the year. It's a light read, but the ending should give the reader pause to think about the consequences of intentional cloud seeding. The word count was listed in the dropnote and the prompt was was highlighted in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Glowing Steph

164

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14 days may be credited.

#4772900

Review of My "No AI" Promise

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE ESSAY

This is an informational essay about AI and the expectations of using AI in writing.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how informative the essay was. AI is new to us writers. Ethics in the use of AI in writing still has to be fleshed out. I appreciated the No AI pledge. The essay also tackles "tells" as to what might be an AI generated piece which I found informative.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is written in the first person. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

GOAL SETTING

The goal is the NO AI pledge and covers what items are in the port to include blog entries to poetry and shorts story. It is clearly defined.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader using a conversational voice. I also liked the essay was not judgemental, but does offer the reader questions to ponder surrounding the moral and ethical use of AI in writing. Well done!

An Angel Army Review

FORUM

Angel Review Forum

(ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

165

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14 days may be credited.

#4772761

Review of On the Occassion of a Birthday

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem offered up a great reason to celebrate WDC during birthday week.

WHAT I LIKED

Haikus get right to the point. That said, this one offers a heartfelt message.

STRUCTURE

This is haiku.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Thanks to this great sites" As a reader, I felt the gratitude.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title is a nice fit for the story. The reverent tone hits all the right notes.

A Bee Hive Review

GROUP

Steph Bee's Bee Hive

(E)
Steph Bee's Home for Busy Bees and the Honey Pit
#1134558 by StephBee

166

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14 days may be credited.

#4771602

Review of Fast car

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm StephBee

and I am reviewing your story for

SURVEY

Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest

(E)
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
#2002964 by Writing.Com Support

Thanks for entering.

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

INSPIRATION

This story was inspired by the prompt, "Fast Car" performed by Tracey Chapman and Luke Combs. To judge the contest, I watched the video prompt and took away the following: The performance was soulful, moody, honest, and raw. The song itself spoke of wanting more for one's life, looking for that break, and finding peace. I'm looking for similar qualities and emotions.

THE STORY

Mickey and May have a rough upbringing. Once they're adults will they break the cycle?

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending and how it ended on a hopeful note. Hope is a powerful emotion and a catalyst for change and that's what I think the story tapped into here. Also, there's that element of "peace" at the end which helped to nail the ending.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a separate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "You look tired, honey." Mickey noted, as his wife entered the apartment.

MY SUGGESTION:
May walked in and ran a hand through her hair.

"You look tired, honey." Mickey offered her a small smile as he laid on the couch, baby Joe on his chest.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "Suddenly there it was and May's eyes widened when she saw the abandoned, rusty, pink Cadillac." This is a great visual that harkens back to a more successful time, shows how the area has fallen, and yet still builds friendship as two young kids find the car.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

May and Mickey

Both come from tattered households, each having to grow up faster than anticipated due to their household situation, and yet, they learn at an early age they can count on each other.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier on the eyes.

DID I SEE THE INSPIRATION?

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader. I thought story was honest and raw, similar elements I took away from Chapman's and Comb's performance of "Fast Car." In fact, the story could be the plot of the song. The title is the same as the song and if anything, I thought "Old Pink Cadillac" or "Rusty Pink Cadillac" might be a better fit as there are plenty of links within the story to "Fast Car" the song. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

An Angel Army Review
"Angel Review Forum"

167

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14 days may be credited.

#4771597

Review of A Heavy Kind of Freedom

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm StephBee

and I am reviewing your story for

SURVEY

Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest

(E)
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
#2002964 by Writing.Com Support

Thanks for entering.

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Both Georgie and Jenny have hard decisions to make for a fast car and an opportunity to leave their world behind.

WHAT I LIKED

I thought the story was a good, creative take on the prompt.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Jenny's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

Dialogue accents the narration. Good use of dialogue tags.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "She hated the men on the other side of the bar. Fat, drunk, boasting of lives out there that she could not afford and were probably made up anyway." The author does a good job using a nice economy of words to paint the setting and hint at emotion - a longing for something better in life.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Jenny

There's enough here to understand Jenny motivations. While Georgie makes the decision to steal the car, it's Jenny who has the ultimate decision to make in order for them to have a better life, and it yet comes at a high price.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make easier on the eyes to read.

DID I SEE THE INSPIRATION?

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader and does a good job setting up the mood and tone for the rest of the story. I thought story was honest and raw, similar elements I took away from Chapman's and Comb's performance of "Fast Car." The title is reflective of the inspiration found in the song used for the contest.

Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

An Angel Army Review
"Angel Review Forum"

168

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14 days may be credited.

#4771596

Review of Silent Witness

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm StephBee

and I am reviewing your story for

SURVEY

Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest

(E)
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
#2002964 by Writing.Com Support

Thanks for entering.

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Luke gets a new car and takes off with Tracy, but somehow that promise of a new life, free from restrictions only seems to haunt them.

WHAT I LIKED

I really enjoyed how the story was told - from the car's point of view.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by the car. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

Dialogue accents the narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "How have you been?" he asked, his voice low and gentle as he navigated those nasty potholes.

MY SUGGESTION: Luke navigated the nasty potholes. "How have you been?" His voice was low and gentle.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "I trembled from grille to tailpipe with suppressed energy." As a reader, I felt the thrill and excitement of not only buying a new car but being one as well.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Luke and Tracy

There's enough here to understand Tracy's motivations. It's time to get out and start a new life. As for Luke, it was really sad to see what happened to him.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make easier on the eyes to read.

DID I SEE THE INSPIRATION?

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader and does a good job setting up the anticipation the story would bring. The character's names are a nice rift on Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs and felt natural to the story. I thought story was honest and raw, similar elements I took away from Chapman's and Comb's performance of "Fast Car." The title is a nice fit for the story.

Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

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#4768713

Review of Trinity

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem defines a trinity that's like us.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked that the poem invites the reader to think and to use critical thinking skills. The birds used all have something in common with us, evoking the dynamic of the inner pysche.

STRUCTURE

This is a cinquain poem. There are 22 syllables in the poem with 5 lines each structured 2, 4, 6, 8, 2 syllables a line.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read, but invites deeper thought.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Raven conjure rainbows," It seems there are two opposite here. Ravens are known as "dark birds" omens of darkness, and yet they conjure rainbows, known to bring hope. -- Maybe a darkness before the light/hope?

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader and keeps them reading. The title sets the tone for the poem. Nice expression.

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#4767643

Review of Spring, Summer Of Happiness 2024

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CAMPFIRE

A Spring/Summer Campfire Creative dedicated to the ongoings and musings of Princess Megan Rose

and ♥HOOves♥

from Spring to Summer 2024.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how warm, open, and honest the campfire was. Both participants were so candid and conversational. Just reading a few posts made me what want to linger and stay longer. This campfire was one I could cozy up to on a warm night and just enjoy!

ENGAGING

I think because the tone and voice of each entry is so conversational, it engages the reader. I almost wanted to ask to join, but I saw that it recently ended. I'd definitely follow another campfire if they did one.

VARIETY

Most of the topics were "everyday" things, but there were discussions on TV shows and politics, church, royals and loss.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I liked that the font was increased. It made it easier to read.

PARTING THOUGHTS

Good use of Graphics to set the tone of the Campfire. The introduction gives a nice overview of what to expect from the Campfire.

GROUP

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Steph Bee's Home for Busy Bees and the Honey Pit
#1134558 by StephBee

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#4765107

Review of The Bogeyman

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A poem about how the bogeyman haunts us.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending about how to get rid of the bogeyman. Nailed it!

STRUCTURE

This is a poem with an 8-8-7-7 rythme with an aabb scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read and has a nice flow when read out loud.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Check carefully beneath the bed, then on the pillow lay your head." This is a succinct description which heightens the tension. I mean, who didn't check under the bed for the bogeyman when they were 4 or 5? And who doesn't remember that feeling of unease? This is a solid description that makes that stomach a tad nervous.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader with a nice beat and keeps them reading. The title fits the poem well. Nice rhythmic beat.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

A Bee Hive Review

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(E)
Steph Bee's Home for Busy Bees and the Honey Pit
#1134558 by StephBee

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#4764544

Review of Gorilla Dollars

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

A girl wants something from a gorilla.

WHAT I LIKED

I couldn't help but smile as the girl bartered with the gorilla. I thought it was a very comedic scene.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person limited from the little girl's perspective. Past tense is used in the story.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

OPENING PARAGRAPH

The opening paragraph put me right in the moment as the girl and gorilla have a stare off.

CHARACTERS

The girl is all girl with her pink sparkly unicorn purse. The gorilla is pretty clever. The author does a great job capturing these elements of personality with such a tight word count.

FLOW & PACING

This is a small vinyette that flows well and keeps the reader in the moment.

MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier on the eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The title is quirky and fun and fits the story well. There are some nice, light-hearted comedic beats. The story will make you smile.

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#4764541

Review of Happy birthday writing.com

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A heartwarming poem dedicated to WDC's 3rd birthday!

WHAT I LIKED

What a gem to find this little ditty dedicated to WDC's 3rd birthday when the 24th birthday is just around the corner.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no apparent rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. I might check the word "realy," in the 5th stanza - I think it might be "really." Also, check "your" in the 3rd stanza - I think it might be "you're."

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "So raise your glass, And lets say cheers, For all you've done" It's a nice, easy description that one can visualize. It evokes a sense of happiness and cheer - good vibes. It captures the essence of a celebration.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader nicely and pulls them in. The title fits the poem. Nice, easy expression.

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#4764324

Review of I dreamt of a nightly light

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A poem dedicated to finding love.

WHAT I LIKED

Great heartfelt expression throughout the poem.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There are rythmes but no apparent rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Romance is a dance For it is “friendship set to music" The description is more of an emotional one. Implying romance is a dance, a dance has high points and low points, and yet the dance starts with friendship and grows. This is the type of description that invites the reader to go a little deeper on the meaning and not read it face value.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening starts as a letter, with "Dear Love," implying a certain amount of intimacy and encouraging us to read more. The title fits the poem. Nice expression.

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#4764010

Review of On Cherry Trees and Pirates

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A cherry tree can offer good memories or bad ones.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem told a story.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no set rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. I might suggest an edit for spelling. I think "mid" should be "mind." The poem is easy to read. I might also suggest using WDC ML to increase the font to make a bit easier on the eyes to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "but I was always the rule follower, and you were always the pirate." This line sets more of an emotional tone, the poet is a follower and attracted to the pirate - the sense of danger, perhaps? The adventurous, untamed spirit, hoping to tame it perhaps?

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader, with a nice conversational style. In a way, the reader doesn't necessarily expect what is coming.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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