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26
26
Review of Elective  
Review by Shaara
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Quotation Inspiration (November 2019)

Thanks for entering!



Your Quote was: "You don't take a photograph, you make it." --Ansel Adams


I am sorry your piece was disqualified for failure to follow directions (posting word count.) I have erred often, forgetting to do something, then been disqualified for it. It is very frustrating. But, I am still going to give your piece a review. I hope that will soften the disappointment.


*Smile*  I really, really liked this piece! I wasn't sure about the importance of the feeling faint episode or the main character's failure to remember her homeward trip. How was that essential to the story? I thought it was going to work into a romance with the professor, but you never went there.  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was that the student took so many pictures, which is probably the key to a winning photo, after all. But how did she MAKE that photo (special?) I think if you decide to work more on this piece, I would journey further. When she looks at the developed photos what is she thinking each time? Is her brain refocusing, reimagining, examining the scene for what she liked and didn't like. The eye of the photographer, that is the essential part which MAKEs a particular picture a WOW. Of course, that's only my viewpoint, and I'm not a photographer. LOL

I especially enjoyed the fact that she went into nature instead of staying home to read the textbook. Essential!


Corrections & comments:

It seems to me that this young lady did NOT meet the assignment. She gave the professor a packetof photos, but he asked for -- interesting . . . the task was: to find the most beautiful thing in the world, yet he asks the students to drop their prints in his box. So, it is the professor who has a confusing assignment. One is singular and one is plural. Perhaps you might want to ponder that issue and have Mr. Prof change his assignments to: the most beautiful things in the world, or have the students choose one photo that shows the most beautiful thing.

Just a thought, of course.



I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Quotation Inspiration.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
27
27
Review by Shaara
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Quotation Inspiration (November 2019)

Thanks for entering! I am sorry your item was not accepted in the contest. You didn't post your item in the contest, so I had to hunt for it in your portfolio. Although I am not required to give you a review, here it is, just so you get some benefit for attempting to enter the contest.



Your Quote was: "You don't take a photograph, you make it." --Ansel Adams





*Smile*  This has a lot of potential if you slow down on what you SHOW us. (See comment in Corrections.)  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the fact that they do meet up in the end, and neither one of them is a stalker.

I especially enjoyed the way you showed Richard's need for companionship. Perhaps Melanie might have an equally private moment of contemplation or could tell a friend how she yearned for someone compatable?


Corrections & comments:

When you say that Leslie looked at Richard, you are changing the focus away from Richard. It isn't wrong, but I wonder why you bother to say that line. If you were inviting us into the Leslie character, that would be important, although "looked" is rather vague. Perhaps she shook her head while sighing, which would show us that she didn't really want Richard to leave. Such a line would give us a hint as to whether we should like your main character or not.

Blew out the roll of film? Perhaps that is camera talk, but I have never heard it. Used up. shot a roll of film, shot picture after picture, exhausted the roll of film . . . ?

This piece really came alive in the restaurant where we discover a mystery. Who offered him that ice cream?

Before that, it was pretty much telling. (One note about such things: I think it is more impactful to stop and smell the roses; ie find an item to narrow our focus: for instance the old tourist cabin -- SHOW US. Example: Each log, roughly axed and full of splinters, jutted out unevenly. etc.

I was glad for the paragraph you give us about Melanie. Before that, I was starting to think the was a stalker!



I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work! You really have a good imagination for an interesting story.




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Quotation Inspiration.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
28
28
Review of Diorama Hints  
Review by Shaara
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Quotation Inspiration (November 2019)

Thanks for entering!



Your Quote was: "You don't take a photograph, you make it." --Ansel Adams





This story successfully met the prompt.



What I liked most about this piece was the reason for the murders. Ah, revenge. Was Virginia bullied or rejected by Walter?

This story made use of dioramas and a woman who studied her crime scenes from a living room recliner. Good detail.


Corrections & comments:I think you described details well. It must have been done very skillfully because it actually made me feel ill -- severed heads, bones crunched, knives that plunged . . . I may have nightmares from your author's skill at being so vivid.

I had a few problems following sections with the two detectives. Perhaps having them enter the house would make our understanding clearer. Or was the murderess merely watching them on TV?

For instance: If the detectives are in the living room with the murderess, why does Virginia lean back in her recliner and smile, then say: "I love it. They think that it's a man who is doing all of these killings." I know Virginia isn't just thinking that because you have put the lines in quotation marks, but why would she confess out loud and then have no reaction from the detectives?

Also, I recommend deleting most of the "theres" and "thats." They made it harder for me to follow the storyline. (Example: "Walter joins Amanda after slowly glancing around there." Where is there?)

Please watch the tenses. ("After stepping back a few feet from her latest diorama, Virginia takes a picture of that recreation. Then she pushed the car back down on the body and takes another picture of it." I suggest making this all past tense or all present tense.

Virginia starts walking down that side of the basement. < Sorry, this sentence lost me. She walks on the side of the basement?




I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work! It's if obvious that you have a flare for crime fiction.




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Quotation Inspiration.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
29
29
Review of Fortitude  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


Write a story or poem about being sick but having to go to work (or school or whatever) anyway.







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was: It said it all most perfectly!!!! Anyone who has ever been sick will identify with this piece!


Further Corrections & comments: The first stanza left me a bit confused, but a quick reread after hitting the second stanza, aligned this piece. That second stanza is what deserves the perfect 5.0. It is marvelous how you can image us into a scene!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
30
30
Review of Sick As A Dog  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


Write a story or poem about being sick but having to go to work (or school or whatever) anyway.







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was:"you look like fifteen miles of bad roads." If you made that up, it's great!


Further Corrections & comments: I thought the punchline was going to be that the employer now was sick. The bankruptcy came out of nowhere. Big surprise!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
31
31
Review of Van of the Dead  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


There has been a strange van parked across the street for a week now...







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was:It was most unexpected. This piece definitely goes in the Halloween folder. LOL


Further Corrections & comments: My mine does race (mind?)

Well done. The zombie fans will love this!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
32
32
Review of Other Than Magic  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


A young trick-or-treater is stuck in their costume!







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was: the wonderful way you SHOWED us this scene. Marvelous!


Further Corrections & comments: I loved the line about the Merlin blather! LOL This piece is absolutely wonderful.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
33
33
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


A young trick-or-treater is stuck in their costume!







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was:You came up with an entirely new idea for a story! I hope you run with it. It sounds intriguing.


Further Corrections & comments: This was interesting, but it was all TELL. To SHOW a reader, you would need to describe through sensory. Of course, you, as the poet, have the option to write whatever and however you want, but I'd love to see some sensory here: For instance, instead of saying,"with shocked eyes," she gasps, she cries out, she whimpers at the sight, etc. When her mom took a deep breath, that was almost SHOW. I could tell the Mom had reservations about blurting out the tale. That gave us some insight into her feelings, but what was the girl feeling?

Anyway, just a suggestion about how you could start that story, if you choose to.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
34
34
Review of They Run Amok  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


Write a story or poem about being overwhelmed by telemarketers.







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was:"the calling guano reeks." Bravo. So illustrative for the situation!


Further Corrections & comments: I looked this up out of curiosity. The expression is: to a T, not a tee.

Excellent job. I agree, I agree, I agree!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
35
35
Review of The Climb  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


Write a story or poem in which an elastic band fails at an unfortunate time.







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was: the ending! It was, gulp, very surprising.


Further Corrections & comments: This was a well-written piece. I felt like I was there on the cliff --not a good feeling for me since I'm very afraid of heights. But, if one has to face such a situation, I sure do appreciate sitting in my comfortable chair instead of being there in person! LOL

I loved the scene about the wife scolding him about his old Calvin Klein's. That will teach the fellow to listen to his wife. Whoops. Guess not.

I sure hope he meets up with another very close overhang, one softly padded with damp grass.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
36
36
Review of What a ride!  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


Write a story or poem about the incredible adventures of lost airline luggage.







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was: That it was in the suitcase's voice. How funny even to start off! Then the rest of the ride was great fun.


Further Corrections & comments: I loved the ending. I didn't know the word, sledging. We don't get to use such words in Southern California, so I visited the dictionary, always an interesting thing to do! Yes, the word works and was very descriptive now that I know how to use it. LOL

This was well done. I thoroughly enjoyed it!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
37
37
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


Write about the next "social media challenge" (examples from the past include the planking challenge and the ice bucket challenge). Make it as realistic or unrealistic as you like!







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was: That I assume it is true??? Either way, it was incredibly fascinating!


Further Corrections & comments: I would stop with the self-deprecating. You have written this piece quite well, indeed. I very much enjoyed it.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
38
38
Review of Rocking  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


Write about the next "social media challenge" (examples from the past include the planking challenge and the ice bucket challenge). Make it as realistic or unrealistic as you like!







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was: the novel idea. Rocking might be good for us -- who knows?


Further Corrections & comments: This was a fun poem. I especially liked the last stanza. Very cute.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
39
39
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


A cat delivers a present to the front door...







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was: was the picture of the dog walk. Nice.


Further Corrections & comments:

I enjoyed this poem. I wasn't sure what you meant about the cat being a UPS man? Somehow I missed your meaning there.

Unless you meant the cat was picking up packages, but then you say she's not a thief. so . . .

She picked up the package left by the UPS man?

Sorry, I really didn't follow this.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
40
40
Review of More Purrs Meow  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


A cat delivers a present to the front door...







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was:the book of "cat" wisdom. Quite interesting, although I would have thought it would be more down to earth: Wait for the mouse to come out of its house -- kind of thing. LOL


Further Corrections & comments:

and if you are overly nice,
you may get reactions that are cold as ice.

This is just my opinion, but I stumbled over this line on the "and." You might consider:

then if you are overly nice,
you might get reactions that are cold as ice.


This was fun.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
41
41
Review of Touchy Story  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


You are (or your character is) featured on international news for something embarrassing. What is it, and how is it dealt with?







First off, you successfully wrote to and therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


What I liked most about this piece was its tongue and cheek. This was really cute. I could picture it clearly.



Further Corrections & comments:

The one line that flowed roughly: “Amazing Face could try something
so absurd, so outlandish,”

The problem is that one has a tendency to read it as Amazing Face instead of it's amazing that face. You might want to work on that to avoid the first read confusion.

My favorite line: He blushed like a Hampton tomato!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
42
42
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


You are (or your character is) featured on international news for something embarrassing. What is it, and how is it dealt with?







First off, you successfully wrote to and, therefore, have qualified for today’s Writer’s Cramp contest:
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp  (13+)
Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy
Although~~~I am not sure that anything that happens at a school, even if televised, is international news, but I suppose it's possible on a SLOW World News day.



What I liked most about this piece was the topic and the way you made the debate all so believable. A certain politician comes to mind. He could say this, do this, and the world would cheer. Sigh.



Further Corrections & comments: I am not a fan of this style of writing which uses incomplete sentences. It frankly drives me bananas. However, I endured, and your story was good.

I would remove the twice said again in the final sentence. Deleting it in the second part of the sentence would improve the impact.





I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to



for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
43
43
Review of Where's Waldo?  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


A goal, a setback, and how it is overcome to get back on track - this is your mission for today.








What I liked most about this piece was the happy ending!



Further Corrections & comments:

First, congratulations on meeting the prompt’s requirements. I loved this tale. I would suggest that you work on avoiding word repetitions. Also, watch those pronoun antecedents, but grammarian aside, this was fun. I actually expected that Mr. Waldo would end up being the one stuck in the elevator , and I guessed correctly. LOL



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
44
44
Review of The Space Between  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


A goal, a setback, and how it is overcome to get back on track - this is your mission for today.








What I liked most about this piece was the tenacity paid off. I'm always a sucker for a happy ending.



Further Corrections & comments:

First, congratulations on meeting the prompt’s requirements.

I really enjoyed the first stanzas, but it seemed a bit rushed that he (you?) achieved success just by staring into the night sky. I understand the ah ha moment, but . . . How about a little practical?

With my arm raised, I brought swung the wand down and witnessed flowers blooming at my feet. Or, perhaps, I reached up and felt hair on my formerly bald head. Or . . .? In other words, I want to know WHY he feels that he is suddenly a wizard. Just a nebulous feeling of that sudden, instantaneous growth leaves me wondering if he really did achieve success.



However, I am so glad I got to read this. I enjoyed it. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
45
45
Review of Bad Company  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


A word that can also mean its own opposite is called a "contronym." One example is the word "cleave" - it can mean either to join together or to rend apart, depending on context. Write a story or poem highlighting at least two contronyms - excluding "cleave." (You can find examples fairly readily with a web search. Please bold the contronyms to assist tomorrow's judge.)








This is downright amazing! Bravo! (Clapping here.)



Further Corrections & comments:

I think you had great fun with this piece. It is quite amusing.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
46
46
Review of Escape  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


A word that can also mean its own opposite is called a "contronym." One example is the word "cleave" - it can mean either to join together or to rend apart, depending on context. Write a story or poem highlighting at least two contronyms - excluding "cleave." (You can find examples fairly readily with a web search. Please bold the contronyms to assist tomorrow's judge.)








This piece certainly met the prompt, but it was rather gruesome. Sigh.



Further Corrections & comments: Perhaps the tale would have benefited from a surprise ending? The plastic knife barely touched her skin before the director called, "Cut!"

Or: The special suit she was wearing, of course, kept her uninjured, but she still wasn't the one who was able to nab the serial murderer. Her partner had to do that, delivering the Miranda statement in the very moment that he kicked the knife out of the creep's hand . . .

Otherwise, is this a story? It doesn't feel like a tale people would want to read. Sorry.



Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
47
47
Review of Sometimes  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


A word that can also mean its own opposite is called a "contronym." One example is the word "cleave" - it can mean either to join together or to rend apart, depending on context. Write a story or poem highlighting at least two contronyms - excluding "cleave." (You can find examples fairly readily with a web search. Please bold the contronyms to assist tomorrow's judge.)








I liked your poem, but I really don't think you followed the Writer's Cramp directions this time. First, you didn't place the word/line count in the POSTING. Second, you bolded too many words for me to figure out which two words are the contronym. I think you used fine as your contronym, but it was difficult to tell. Still, this poem seemed to attempt to follow the prompt, so I won't reject it, but in the future please pay attention to all RULES.



Further Corrections & comments: As I said, I do like the essence of this poem. I'm wondering if you are male or female, since "it's fine," is the saying that historically men weren't said to understand the full depth of its meaning. LOL Perhaps they didn't understand the meaning of contronym, a term which is actually brand new to me.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
48
48
Review of Billfold Bill  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


Write your story or poem about someone who thinks they're going to get reimbursed for a work-related expense, but doesn't.







What I liked most about this piece was the character you built up. Very interesting.



Further Corrections & comments: I liked your ending song, the references to Elton John songs. Clever.

I especially liked: beads of sweat flowed
like salty jet-skiers down and across
his aquiline nose.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
49
49
Review of Solstice Slowdown  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


The Summer Solstice just happened, 11:54 am WDC time on 21 June. (Of course, that's Winter Solstice for folks south of the equator.) Write a story or poem about a change in one's direction in life that coincides with a change of season.








What I liked most about this piece was the reminder that a slow progression towards each goal is often more productive in the long run than a speedy charge. LOL



Further Corrections & comments:

You did an wonderful job of showing us interesting images -- very powerful poem production. I especially liked" holding blue skies hostage." "And courtesies lost, on the fast-track express."

I also liked: Fast grins like a monkey, but I'm not sure that I've ever seen monkeys grinning. Aren't they actually threatening someone when their mouths slide upward? (Guess I'll have to go back to the zoo for more observations.)


This line caused me to backtrack, and I'm still not sure it works well:"life’s direction ought now obey care afoot."



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
50
50
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


Today is Flag Day in the US, commemorating the adoption of the US flag. So write a story or poem featuring an argument about a flag (of any type).








What I liked most about this piece was not only the subject matter, but, of course, the punchline! Great job.



Further Corrections & comments:

I know you intended the repetitive "same" in paragraph two, but for me, it was overdone. I would do some pruning.

This was a very clever and creative piece.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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