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151
151
Review of The Video Game  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Writer's Cramp Review




Your prompt was:

Begin your SCI FI genre STORY or POEM with the following - exactly as it appears below:

"Couldn't you hear me knocking?" she asked, incredulously.





*Smile*  Great job!This was fun (at least to read about, not to be absorbed by/in!)  *Smile*


What I liked most about this piece was the easy relationship between the two of them. Friends? Brother and sister?


Corrections & comments:

I did wonder why if she had a key to the pad she wouldn't have entered before calling the policeman.

Also, the dialogue with the policeman seemed staged. If he was there to check out the story, then he already knew what Megan thought/feared. You might get around that by saying, "she said again."



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


For a quick view of my writing, I recommend:
 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


Each is an individual story that I will one day, hopefully, piece together into a novel.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
152
152
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Writer's Cramp Review




Your prompt was: Cat cafés are becoming more popular. Here's one that's opening in Indianapolis: http://wishtv.com/2017/01/26/cat-cafe-opening-in-f... So write a story or poem set in a cat café.





*Smile*  This was really, really good. The only things that kept me from saying, "Fantastic or wonderful," or something equally loaded with superlatives is a personal bias against swearing. I suppose this usage was meant to SHOW your character, and it did -- how sad. (It made me not like him much.)

Anyway, I'll still give you a 5.0, but I wanted to b honest with you. I really think that profanity is a cop-out, a cover-up, for weak language. (Personal Bias Alert.)  *Smile*


What I liked most about this piece was the cat scene. I enjoyed the way the man's eyes surveyed the cafe, showing us what he saw. (I did wonder about the smell of the place. Did the coffee over-power the scent of all those cats and their litter boxes?)


Corrections & comments:

The flirtatious waitress was a nice touch. I could almost see her behind that giggle, and the winks and smile --- good job there.

All in all, besides my comments up above, good writing!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


For a quick view of my writing, I recommend:
 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


Each is an individual story that I will one day, hopefully, piece together into a novel.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
153
153
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Incorporate into your story or poem the phrase crazy Russian hacker (you may capitalize the C if appropriate, and/or make it plural)..





What I liked most about this piece was the efficient rhyme. What a great job of writing it as a sonnet, a very difficult poetry type!



Further Corrections & comments:

That was an interesting punishment, but aren't you afraid of the authorities who now forbid spanking for any reason? LOL

Well done!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
154
154
Review of Burglar  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

You come back from a week-long trip to find your door wide open and....


Have fun!




I'm sorry but I cannot consider your piece in today's Writing. com contest because the rules state that the piece must be less than 1,000 words. However, I will offer a review.



Further Corrections & comments:This seemed very authentic -- real police jargon. Good job.

I liked that the cop caught the invaders.

I know it's difficult to cut what you've just written, but there is lots that can be cut. (A lot of the chatter in the car, for instance.) After you do that, I'd had a line about the boys in the back seat: Huey and Duey's eyes got big, but they clammed their mouths shut, etc. Otherwise, they don't feel like they exist.



I am so glad I got to read this. Well done!

Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
155
155
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

We're almost a week into the New Year, so I trust you've already abandoned or failed at most of your New Year's resolutions. Write a story or poem about the one NOT abandoned.


Have fun!




What I liked most about this piece was your sense of humor. I really liked the part about the ex. LOL



Further Corrections & comments: Yes, resolutions are hard to keep, but . . . even if you break one, you can just pick it up and try again.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
156
156
Review of Resolutions Kept  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

We're almost a week into the New Year, so I trust you've already abandoned or failed at most of your New Year's resolutions. Write a story or poem about the one NOT abandoned.


Have fun!




What I liked most about this piece was your choice of resolution. Good for you. I know people appreciate all those reviews you're giving. How wonderful that you feel so strongly about it!



Further Corrections & comments:

I know this is a rough draft, but: If not it then pen and paper or simply write it out in the dirt in my yard! needs some work to make it understandable.

Also, I would be careful about copying things without using quotation marks or italics. That's a real no-no. (Even a prompt.)

I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
157
157
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

We're almost a week into the New Year, so I trust you've already abandoned or failed at most of your New Year's resolutions. Write a story or poem about the one NOT abandoned.


Have fun!




What I liked most about this piece was that it struck a chord with me -- any I'm sure many others who saw themselves inside this tale.



Further Corrections & comments:

For writer's block, a trick I use is to set pencil to paper. (I actually think better with a pencil in my hand.)

Also, writing a poem can get you started sometimes. The poem (not a good one, of course,) can open the gates. LOL

I hope this is a resolution you keep. Writing is good for us!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
158
158
Review of FIRST FOOTER  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Writer's Cramp Review




Your prompt was: The following site lists customs for celebrating the New Year around the world.


http://www.fathertimes.net/traditions.htm


(Personally, I wasn’t excited about children coming to my door to sing in the New Year, but my favorites were: recalling those who have left us -- and making sure that all garbage had been removed from the house. LOL)


YOUR TASK:

Use one of the traditions mentioned in the site above (from around the world) to write your poem or story. (Please tell us which country the practice comes from.)




.





*Smile*  Great job! I loved the ending! *Smile*


What I liked most about this piece, besides the ending was the list of possibilities. Very nice because you made them specific.


Corrections & comments:

I enjoyed this piece, and thought you wrote to the prompt perfectly.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


For a quick view of my writing, I recommend:
 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


Each is an individual story that I will one day, hopefully, piece together into a novel.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
159
159
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Writer's Cramp Review




Your prompt was: The following site lists customs for celebrating the New Year around the world.


http://www.fathertimes.net/traditions.htm


(Personally, I wasn’t excited about children coming to my door to sing in the New Year, but my favorites were: recalling those who have left us -- and making sure that all garbage had been removed from the house. LOL)


YOUR TASK:

Use one of the traditions mentioned in the site above (from around the world) to write your poem or story. (Please tell us which country the practice comes from.)




.





*Smile*  I enjoyed your story very much. Although it is rough, and needs a severe editing to remove the excess, it has great bones. I wish I could award you for your effort, but your piece used more than 1,000 words, which means I have to disallow it from the contest. Sigh.


What I liked most about this piece was the Babylonia custom. This might be a good thing to try here, as well as other countries. Let the president (world leader,) NOT sit in a dungeon for three days, but in a poor person's house, let him/her work that person's job and endure that person's hardships. Great idea!


Corrections & comments: Again, avoid repetition. Paragraph two could be combined with paragraph one, removing all the things you've already told us. ONCE is all it takes. The king doesn't like the tradition, but must endure it. Don't tell us over and over.

Also, it is hard to believe that he asks a strange woman to marry him. You never SHOWED us this woman. You didn't give us enough information about her, either. Perhaps, he merely invites the boy and woman into his palace. Or, prepare us ahead of time with the meditations he engages in during his time in the dungeon. He recalls her smile, the brightness in her eyes, the love she shows to her young son . . . He sighs and dreams, wishing that . . .



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


For a quick view of my writing, I recommend:
 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


Each is an individual story that I will one day, hopefully, piece together into a novel.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
160
160
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Happy New Year!





Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Well, folks, this is it - the last day of the miserable excuse for a year known as 2016. Finally. Write a story or poem about a New Year's Eve celebration that makes you forget how utterly horrible this year has been.





What I liked most about this piece was that you're drug free! Yeah. What an amazing thing for you to be able to say, and how proud of yourself you must (SHOULD) be!



Further Corrections & comments:

The last line: If nothing else it's a min vacation -- what? I'd delete that. The line before it is a much better conclusion to this piece.

Good for you for taking a very negative prompt and turning it positive!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
161
161
Review of Twice is Nice  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~





Merry Christmas!



** Image ID #671248 Unavailable **





Writer's Cramp Review



Today is both Christmas Day AND the first day of Hannukah.

A woman at my Weight Watchers meeting told us that her family honors both holidays.

Write a story or poem about a character’s co-mingling of these two celebrations.




*Smile*Good job following the Cramp prompt! I was impressed. Although this piece emphasized the Jewish traditions and customs, you did provide a Santa and a Christmas tree.  *Smile*


What I liked most about this piece were the explanations of the history of Hanukkah and the special foods (none for Christmas, though.)


Corrections & comments:

The last paragraph provided a wonderful frame for the piece.

I would work on your paragraphs. If you group the history in one, then a new paragraph gives the understanding that you've moved into a section on how the holiday is celebrated now. It's a tehnique that guides the reader more smoothly.

By they way, I liked the part about the five dollar checks going to charity.



I am so glad I got to read this.

Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp.

I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
162
162
Review of Special Delivery  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

New Prompt:

Christmas is upon us - and you are just one of the few people who just recently settled on Mars.
No gifts to wrap in, no tree to decorate, nothing festive at all.

All of a sudden a freighter ship lands... your mission is to write what is in that ship, and what happens next.





What I liked most about this piece was the present. How perfect. What a marvelous idea.



Further Corrections & comments:

May I have one? Arf, arf.

I enjoyed this tale. You did a very good job with the prompt.

I don't think NASA would ever send an individual without companionship. Loneliness leads to insanity for humans (far too frequently.) You might want to include a paragraph about the loss of the crew who accompanied this person. That would be more believable.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
163
163
Review of Arrival  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:


Christmas is upon us - and you are just one of the few people who just recently settled on Mars.
No gifts to wrap in, no tree to decorate, nothing festive at all.

All of a sudden a freighter ship lands... your mission is to write what is in that ship, and what happens next.





What I liked most about this piece was the cleverness of the idea. Bravo!



Further Corrections & comments:

This was unique, at least to me.

One caution: you spent too much time repeating yourself: Example:Standing in a control room just across from the cargo bay was what appeared to be a man. This wasn't any ordinary man though. This man appeared to be some sort of cookie, perhaps a gingerbread man.

SHOW US this: Man-shaped, icing-like eyes, buttons that sparkled like ice-crystals, etc., and with a smell of gingerbread? --- How does it move? Does it dip a thick hand arm, creating a crease, causing a fine mist of crumb-like material (cookie dandruff? LOL).

Does the soldier's mouth water? Does he sniff heavily?

How tall is this cookie-man? ETC. SHOW, show, show.

4.5 for creativity.

I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
164
164
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

You rack your brain trying to come up with the perfect present for the Secret Santa gift you drew from the hat because . . .

Unfortunately you dislike (can’t stand) the recipient.

What do you get her (him)?

And how does that work out?

(Does it change the person’s attitude toward you?

What do other people think of the gift (expressions, words, reception to greeting you thereafter . . .)

Poem or story!




What I liked most about this piece was the ending, of course. How clever.



Further Corrections & comments:

I think you should work on the last line. It lost the big ah. How about: I'll not be swayed; t'was more than chance. Or something that implies that fate was working to correct the situation????

I think that's what you meant, but it didn't quite come through for me.

However, you're the poet, so simply take my opinion as only that -- an opinion.



I am so glad I got to read this. I liked its essence. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
165
165
Review of Why You?  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!


I'm so sorry, but you forgot to post your line count in the POSTING, so I cannot consider your piece in today's contest. (SIGH.) But, still I'll give you a review.

Your Prompt was:

You rack your brain trying to come up with the perfect present for the Secret Santa gift you drew from the hat because . . .

Unfortunately you dislike (can’t stand) the recipient.

What do you get her (him)?

And how does that work out?

(Does it change the person’s attitude toward you?

What do other people think of the gift (expressions, words, reception to greeting you thereafter . . .)

Poem or story!




What I liked most about this piece was that you decided to give something good, in spite of the fact you didn't like the person. Bravo.



Further Corrections & comments:

I'm glad, also, that the result of this action solved the problem.

I didn't really understand the lines:

I want to buy you lots of fat,
Maybe something bones and skull.


One can figure out that it's not a good thing, but I'd substitute something that makes a little more sense. (Sorry. I don't mean to be harsh -- just helpful?)



Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
166
166
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

In honor of what would have been ember_rain’s father's 64th birthday tomorrow, start your story or poem with one of her favorite quotes from him.

A text taken out off its context is a pretext and a pretext is a fallacy.













I'm not sure whether you totally ignored the prompt or subtly wove it into the whole piece. (Note to self: Need more coffee for thinking that deeply.) Okay, just in case, I'll okay the piece, as being right on. (Coffee!)



Further Corrections & comments: Lots of errors, but cute story. I liked the main character's sense of humor, if not her morals. FOFL

P.S. I assume she was still naked when the bomb transported her into the parking lot. OUUUUUCH!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
167
167
Review of Where's My Car?  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:



This morning I read about the word “Teslapathic.” It seems that a group of UC Berkeley students have devised a system whereby a Tesla car can be mind controlled. So far, by using various mathematical algorithms, these students have been able to get a car to stop and go via brain waves – (or so the article says.)

https://forums.tesla.com/.../forums/hackers-mind-c...


If one can believe the video . . . let’s take a long step into the future, and see where this new technology could take us:

Parking garages would no longer be needed. I could just signal the car (via brain waves,) that its presence was desired.

No more irritating service station fill-ups (or hands that stink of gasoline, although not a drop of the stuff ever touches my fingers.) Future cars could drive themselves to the pump, and have the robotic arm insert a nozzle for the car’s fuel of choice.

Parents would no longer need to drive their children to soccer practice, ballet, or other activities. Simply thinking the car toward the destination would get the children there.

And no more long waits at the garage where that horrible canned music whines at me. My car could drive itself to get its tires rotated or the oil changed.

Ah, I can hardly wait! Of course, there’ll be problems & complications, I suppose. Articles will rant about . . .

Your turn


Write a story or poem about a future with “Teslapathic” cars.





Please remember that to have your piece considered in the Writer's Cramp contest, you MUST post your word count INSIDE the posting.

Please redo your posting (simply use the edit feature) if you want me to add your piece in today's contest judging.




What I liked most about this piece was your sense of humor. Right on! This was cute, cute, cute.



Further Corrections & comments:

A Trump car? Oh, dear, that may be in the future. Sigh.

Oh, and I'm really wanting one of those flying cars! (If I can't have my own stargate.)

Just a head's up. "But everybody’s moods got so noncomprende. " <-- This didn't work for me.


I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
168
168
Review of Maui Wowie  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Just in time for the Thanksgiving holiday in the US, O'Hare International Airport workers in Chicago have voted to go on strike. Write a story or poem about transferring through O'Hare for a Thanksgiving trip.




What I liked most about this piece was the information about your trip. Such great detail!



Further Corrections & comments:

Good to hear about your generosity to the server but I'm not sure it was essential to the story.

Was this really about a TRANSFER through O'Hara?

There was a little back-reading on my part, trying to figure out who the SHE was that didn't have the right name. I assume it was the United employee???? You need some kind of transition there. It feels like a paragraph was left out.

Actually, it was a nice story; I'm just green jealous about your getting to take an almost expense-free trip!

Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
169
169
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

We live in a period of time that encourages Selfies,

and often see advice about “taking time for the alter ego,”

so, today, I urge you to

BEFRIEND yourself

(or have a character do so.)



Write a story or poem TITLED:

My Best Friend Is ME


This piece can be humorous or serious as long as you keep to the topic.




What I liked most about this piece was the truth revealed. Yes, we do have to utilize ME to pull out the spikes from our daily crucifixions of imperfectness



Further Corrections & comments:

That was an interesting line about hanging crape -- as in crape paper? I''m not sure I followed that since crape paper is usually decorative== positive. However, it did make me pause and think.

Hanging crape could be jewelry, fancy clothes, fine linen suits, etc????

I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
170
170
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

We live in a period of time that encourages Selfies,

and often see advice about “taking time for the alter ego,”

so, today, I urge you to

BEFRIEND yourself

(or have a character do so.)



Write a story or poem TITLED:

My Best Friend Is ME


This piece can be humorous or serious as long as you keep to the topic.




What I liked most about this piece was the truth of the matter. I'm still about 21, except when I look in the mirror!



Further Corrections & comments:

Nice job with the prompt. This is a good reminder when we workout at the gym for hours, yet still don't turn into the svelte woman on the treadmill beside us!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
171
171
Review of All the Names  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Writer's Cramp Review




Your prompt was:

Use the following Leonard Cohen song titles in your story or poem. Be sure to make them bold to make it easy for tomorrow's judge to find.


Suzanne
Anthem
Famous Blue Raincoat
First We Take Manhattan







*Smile*  Wow!  *Smile*


What I liked most about this piece was the emotional aspect. This really touched me!


Corrections & comments:

Having been there, I could really relate to this. It was profound, moving, sacred. Good job. I loved the the mother showed up. Wonderful piece.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
172
172
Review of Mansion Mania  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Everyone at a Halloween party gets cursed to be stuck as their

costume for a year.

Write a story or poem about one or more of the partygoers.






Great story. I loved the creativity!



Further Corrections & comments: It was perfect the way you wove the tale of the bride wearing black into this modern story. Excellent setting and descriptions.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
173
173
Review of Cursed Costume  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Everyone at a Halloween party gets cursed to be stuck as their

costume for a year.

Write a story or poem about one or more of the partygoers.






This was great -- clever topic tied to the prompt and apt for the time period. LOL



Further Corrections & comments: I really, really enjoyed this and got a chuckle out of it.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
174
174
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:
I faithfully watched the presidential and vice president debates, but I’m really so tired of POLITICS.

So, even though I had a very visual image about what if someone . . . a naughty visual image that gave me the IDEA for this Writing.com prompt (as in using the following ingredient on a certain candidate prior to some additional debate,) I must declare that in the following piece, NO political candidates may be peppered with . . .

Itching Powder.

In other words, your poem or story must be about someone using itching powder on someone as a prank.

~~~How is it done?

~~~Why is it done? (As in retaliation for something???)

~~~What is the outcome?














What I liked most about this piece was the voice of the narrator. He came across as a teenager, especially with such phrases as "me and the boys."



Further Corrections & comments:

Since baby powder is bad for the lungs, I wouldn't want to be at a scene where it was raining talcum, but, a snow of itches would be even worse.

Clever piece. It certainly did credit to the prompt.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
175
175
Review of The Prank  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:
I faithfully watched the presidential and vice president debates, but I’m really so tired of POLITICS.

So, even though I had a very visual image about what if someone . . . a naughty visual image that gave me the IDEA for this Writing.com prompt (as in using the following ingredient on a certain candidate prior to some additional debate,) I must declare that in the following piece, NO political candidates may be peppered with . . .

Itching Powder.

In other words, your poem or story must be about someone using itching powder on someone as a prank.

~~~How is it done?

~~~Why is it done? (As in retaliation for something???)

~~~What is the outcome?














What I liked most about this piece was the mom's reaction. That was certainly surprising.



Further Corrections & comments:

The brother was irritating, but I wasn't sure that he did enough to send him into such a panic. However, it made for a good story. I just hope the older brother learns from the experience and doesn't end up in the "fun farm."



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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