The title of your poem or story must be: The Walking Group
What I liked most about this piece was the camaraderie. I was cheering those women on, glad that they'd found that kind of bond. Where do I sign up?
Further Corrections & comments:
I was disappointed with the ending. Yes, it was a good character portrayal. Our main character doesn't feel she belongs to this group. She feels superior. I wanted her to at least be grateful for them. I wanted her to feel the relief lifting from off her shoulders -- maybe a tear or two.
But that's just me. This was a lovely story. You did a great job with the prompt.
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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This morning, I woke up (reluctantly) to persistent meowing from my calico cat, Zoe. She acted like she wanted to be let outside; she had plenty of food and water in her bowls, and going outside was the only other option I could think of for her acting that way. But when I opened the door, she just sat down, looked at me, and meowed some more. Write this story (or poem) from the cat's point of view.
What I liked most about this piece was the concept. Yesterday was supposedly National Dog Day, so when I was at the pet store I asked when it would be National Cat Day. The cashier didn't know. I assume there is no equal rights law for pets. Sigh.
Further Corrections & comments:
This was cute. I liked his reason for being upset.
I know you know this, but My purrs were stifled, and my tail was not it’s (its) usual upright self.
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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This morning, I woke up (reluctantly) to persistent meowing from my calico cat, Zoe. She acted like she wanted to be let outside; she had plenty of food and water in her bowls, and going outside was the only other option I could think of for her acting that way. But when I opened the door, she just sat down, looked at me, and meowed some more. Write this story (or poem) from the cat's point of view.
What I liked most about this piece was the voice of the cat. Right on. Very believable.
Further Corrections & comments:
Was it dark outside? Is that why Robert turned around and went back to bed? I needed a reason why the man would get up out of bed, then turn around and retreat back to his pillow.
Of course, maybe he realized that the cat didn't want/need to go outside. If so, wouldn't he have cursed or said something to the cat? Sorry, but that silence left me hanging.
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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You have a brand new neighbor, a single woman with a black cat. The woman seems friendly enough, but she keeps a lit pumpkin on her front porch (which never seems to rot?) and hangs a rather odd decoration in her entryway – an old, matted broom (that you saw when you and your wife took her a welcome-to-the-neighborhood plant.)
Write a poem or story about your new neighbor.
Have fun!
What I liked most about this piece was the interesting way the witch dispensed with bothersome neighbors. LOL
Further Corrections & comments:
I think the witch should have been given more cause to eliminate these neighbors. Instead of making them amiable, perhaps set the tone and give them negative personalities. (We'll set her right about that lit pumpkin sitting on her porch. It isn't October, etc. )
But, this was quirky and fun, so . . .
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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You have a brand new neighbor, a single woman with a black cat. The woman seems friendly enough, but she keeps a lit pumpkin on her front porch (which never seems to rot?) and hangs a rather odd decoration in her entryway – an old, matted broom (that you saw when you and your wife took her a welcome-to-the-neighborhood plant.)
Write a poem or story about your new neighbor.
Have fun!
What I liked most about this piece was the way you very cleverly inserted all the prompt cues. Well done (although that was't mandatory.) I liked that you found favor with this oddish neighbor, too.
Further Corrections & comments:
yet anon is (it?) was four when sir Maize up and walked
Well done, as always.
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A man enters the diner where you (or your character) are eating breakfast, drops a keychain with a red heart on your table, and exits the diner. There is no key attached, and the man is a stranger. Write the STORY or POEM from there, including all of these details. First or third person is okay.
What I liked most about this piece was the unusualness of the dialogue and thoughts. This is rather other worldly. LOL
Further Corrections & comments:
I loved the Coca Cola clock, placemats with red barns, the girl with a bouncy ponytail. All took me to Mel's Diner -- I think that was the name of the "Happy Days" diner????
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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A man enters the diner where you (or your character) are eating breakfast, drops a keychain with a red heart on your table, and exits the diner. There is no key attached, and the man is a stranger. Write the STORY or POEM from there, including all of these details. First or third person is okay.
What I liked most about this piece was the concept. Very interesting take on this prompt.
Further Corrections & comments:
There are some errors that cause a reader to have to figure out the meaning of the sentences at time. I'd recommend rereading this slowly to catch them. (I recommend reading the piece out loud.
This needs to be longer. Perhaps while doing your edits you can develop the scenes more, although you did put in some nice detail. But that melted face -- that I couldn't picture. SHOW us his face, don't just TELL us. (Yes, you did describe the straw paper, but I couldn't really SEE that either, and it doesn't have a mouth, nose, and eyes. LOL)
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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I have been thinking about the latest food adaptations. According to an ad in Prevention Magazine, I can buy kale, broccoli, parsnip, and/or brussel sprout chips.
I can find matcha -- ground-up green tea leaves -- in popcorn, truffles, and doughnuts.
I can choose protein bars that have hemp, quinoa, whey protein, or alfalfa.
What’s next?
Write a story or poem about a future nutritional “vitamins in a drink, chip, or bar.”
Areas for thoughts (but not required to satisfy the prompt:)
How does it taste?
Does it do what it promises? (Erase disease, improve health, slim down the obese, booster the weak, add muscles, remove wrinkles/dangling skin, improve eyesight, make the slow speedy, etc.)
Is there a downside? (Does the consumer trade one problem for another?)
How costly is the product?
How hard is it to obtain? (Available only to . . .?)
What I liked most about this piece was the idea that this health food was from allies. Bravo. It's about time they sent us a preset! LOL
Further Corrections & comments:
How did they know what would please and nutritionally satisfy? Have they been WATCHING us? (Oh, no, out comes the tin cap!)
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Ancient Greek writers described the "Seven Wonders of the World," including the Library at Alexandria (Egypt, not Virginia) and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
Most no longer exist. Since then, various competing attempts have been made to catalog a modern list of Seven Wonders, including such sights as the Great Wall of China and the Taj Mahal. But the one thing all these wonders have in common is that they're buildings - and architecture certainly isn't the only criterion that should be applied, as we also have engineers and scientists working to create Wonders.
So write a story or poem about the Seven Wonders of the World that are human-made, but from disciplines other than architecture. (Clarification: a Wonder has to currently exist, but it doesn't technically have to be located on Earth.)
What I liked most about this piece was that you followed the prompt so perfectly with precisely named wonders. Well done.
Further Corrections & comments:
You left out the refrigerator, air conditioning (especially of late!), and my microwave oven, which when deprived of for a week sent me into deep, deep loss. LOL
You are a marvel. Sonnets seem to ooze from your pores!
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According to some research, learning to play a musical instrument might prevent/delay the onset of Alzheimer’s. Playing musical instruments has been shown to relieve stress and stimulate brain connections.
What if a new component of city libraries were individual sound-proofed rooms where people played various musical instruments?
What if experienced players could play along with a leading orchestra recording?
What if lessons could be provided by robotic teachers?
Your task today is to write a poem or story about playing an instrument or learning to play an instrument in the local library.
What I liked most about this piece was that you worked in a special grant. That made sense because the idea of a room for each musician without there being a super long line of waiting people would be a problem.
Further Corrections & comments:
I didn't quite understand:"Here comes the sun instead of me." Did it mean that the music was the light of the day or that it was late in the day when he got to play the guitar?
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What I liked most about this piece was that as usual you had those wonderful images to display your awesome talent.
Further Corrections & comments:
This would definitely not be of interest to me -- too much like the news, like the world around us. I only watch to LEAVE reality, not to wallow in it. LOL
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What I liked most about this piece was your enthusiasm for the project (Of course it helped that you, personally, would be reaping the benefits!)
Further Corrections & comments: I think your ideas sound as plausible as the rest of the junk on TV. Unfortunately, if I were the producer, since your novels lack aliens from outer space, my interest would be low, but scifi enthusiasts are not the usual customers for such things. (Sigh.)
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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Write a poem or story entitled: The Important Notice
Ideas to work with if desired:
Is this notice from your boss, your spouse, your parents?
Does it feel threatening or humorous?
What do you do about it?
What I liked most about this piece was that it was right on!
Further Corrections & comments:
Although your message was clear, the warning a notice for which we should all take up banners, it leaves out the problems with doing so. China's population of cars is growing (as it is in other developing countries,) and we, although spouting rhetoric, continue to buy more and more gas guzzlers. And in other areas -- uncurbed population, water usage, chemical abuse of land and food sources, etc -- what we KNOW is often tossed out as babble, and the science of it discounted.
I heartedly agree with your premise and you stated it well. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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Write a poem or story entitled: The Important Notice
Ideas to work with if desired:
Is this notice from your boss, your spouse, your parents?
Does it feel threatening or humorous?
What do you do about it?
What I liked most about this piece was that it is so true!
Further Corrections & comments:
This was a fun piece. I hope it impacts readers. I agreed with it, except for the bit about how we choose the people in our lives. We can't always. That boss we're burdened with. The soldier/husband/wife who travels a burdened road for a bit. The child who stumbles for a very, very long time.
But mostly, I agree that we have the power!
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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Write a poem or story entitled: The Important Notice
Ideas to work with if desired:
Is this notice from your boss, your spouse, your parents?
Does it feel threatening or humorous?
What do you do about it?
What I liked most about this piece was that although I wanted to discard this piece because it made me feel so bad, I couldn't. It made me ill to read it though.
Further Corrections & comments:
There has to be another answer, another way of bringing notice to ideas, beliefs, maltreatment.
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According to a dialogue between Yvonne Fern and Gene Roddenberry (page 104: Gene Roddenbury: the Last Conversation) an author becomes an “intimate of humanity.”
Which means that readers (humanity) can really SEE inside an author, get to KNOW him/her as no one else can because all characters, all conversations, all musings are formed from the depths of a pencil scratching composer.
Write a story or poem about this aspect of writing. Have your character or yourself comment on the question: Do I really want readers to KNOW me with that degree of intimacy?
Yes, you got it! You understood what the prompt was about. Well done.
Further Corrections & comments:
I once wrote a poem about my garbage can being tipped over and the neighbors seeing all my rubbish tossed about (Thanks, seagulls!) That's what an author reveals -- the SHOWING of who you are, this public turning inside out.
I liked your reference to the tangerine. It SHOWED that in the same way.
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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July in the US tends to be hot, and forecasters are expecting a heat wave across much of the country next week. Write a story or poem about getting through a time of exceptionally warm temperatures.
What I liked most about this piece was the information about your favorite island retreat, but no you didn't convince me to visit. LOL
Further Corrections & comments:
I think the part about turning into the purple people eater was the best. That was very visual.
To enhance this piece, you might SHOW us the island. You liked Mount Teide but didn't display any reasons. What are the inhabitants like -- customs, dress, festivities, food dishes . . . Lots to add if you wish.
But, it was a cute tale.
Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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July in the US tends to be hot, and forecasters are expecting a heat wave across much of the country next week. Write a story or poem about getting through a time of exceptionally warm temperatures.
Another marvelous romp! This was great!
Further Corrections & comments:
My favorite line: the fist of heat clutched me by the throat.
Good reading material. In my dreams I visit those poets, but in reality, it never seems to happen. Perhaps in Southern California the weather isn't hot enough???? LOL
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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July in the US tends to be hot, and forecasters are expecting a heat wave across much of the country next week. Write a story or poem about getting through a time of exceptionally warm temperatures.
What I liked most about this piece was the creativity of the idea. This was fun!
Further Corrections & comments:
Your spelling needs work. Such words as cloth you mean clothe, disrupt the reader's attention. The wrong usage of it's provokes a scream of horror, but I'm a teacher so what can you expect -- always editing, always using my red pencil (although I never used one with my second graders. LOL.)
One other note: I'd recommend using "this" so frequently. It also grinds my teeth. (I went into this place . . .) Also -- how about trod, skipped, ran, stumbled, journeyed . . .
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
P.S. the high score is for creativity ONLY!
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July in the US tends to be hot, and forecasters are expecting a heat wave across much of the country next week. Write a story or poem about getting through a time of exceptionally warm temperatures.
What I liked most about this piece was the Dr. Seuss ridiculousness of it. Bravo.
Further Corrections & comments:
This was fun, but it only vaguely attacked the prompt. Yes, I'll go with it, since you did discuss the heated brain, but was that due to overthinking or to weather?
Anyway, this was an enjoyable read.
Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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While reading through my small town’s listing of activities, I saw the following:
“Sewing class: Use the butterfly kisses pattern to make . . .”
What if this were a futuristic (sci/fi) class in which the seamstresses were creating real, live butterflies?
Ok, I know that’s far-fetched, but so are microwave ovens and cell phones!
Use the prompt to SHOW us this fantasy class.
What I liked most about this piece was the elaborate detail you provided. Lovely!
Further Corrections & comments:
I thought the use of the 3-D printer made this seem very plausible. I wasn't sure the students were really sewing, but when I went back and reread the prompt, I realized that they didn't have to sew. However, was this really a CLASS?
Good ending. I'd want to join that career choice as well. LOL
But what does one do with these mechanical butterflies? What is their purpose -- to be sold as novelty toys, to pollinate crops, to be the first step in the recreation of an extinct species?
Anyway, nice job, but in the future, please provide spaces between your paragraphs. As it is now, it causes eyestrain to read. (HINT:Always check that your piece is displayed correctly after posting.)
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
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