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126
126
Review of Heavenly Takeout  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review








Your Prompt was:


Use the following words/phrases in your story or poem; bold them for the judge to find:

indomitable
free chicken
nightstand
propane
last chance









What I liked most about this piece was the theme. I wholeheartedly agree!



Further Corrections & comments:

The last phrase was a bit stretched. I think something else would fit better, but this was an outstanding poem about what I hear so frequently from certain people in today's America. (Big sigh.)



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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127
127
Review of Contact  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review








Your Prompt was:


Write a story or poem about communicating with... THE DEAD.








What I liked most about this piece was that it gave me the chills. Very effective!



Further Corrections & comments:

I breath -- should be: I breathe

Great job. This is one of the spookiest poems I've ever read. I loved the casual tone of the speaker. LOL

I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
128
128
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review








Your Prompt was:

Write your story or poem about a pet that likes to destroy things.








What I liked most about this piece was THE BELIEVABILITY. Very cute.



Further Corrections & comments: I really like this poem! Great poem.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
129
129
Review of Thank You, Santa!  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review








Your Prompt was:

Oh no! It's Friday the 13th! And Halloween is just around the corner! Write a story or poem about experiencing good luck on Friday the 13th.








What I liked most about this piece was the cute ending.l It was an "ah, how cute" ending.



Further Corrections & comments:

That was one amazing letter. The five-year-old didn't misspell a single word except trampoline!!!! (Well, okay -- please, too, but I've seen grown-ups spell the word that way, so I'm not sure it counts.)



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
130
130
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



What a great reflective piece! It's a good reminder of how we need to pause to appreciate the grandeur of physics, chemistry, and, well, in general Mother Nature. LOL




Your Prompt was:

Use the following words/phrases in your story or poem. Make them bold to make the judge's job easier:
plastic
ignore
space heater
itinerant
abalone








What I liked most about this piece was the way you used all the words so beautifully. Marvelous job.



Further Corrections & comments:

The sentence: Why would it not? Didn't quite fit (for me) the sentence before it. Why would it not be? Or simply leave it out/substitute something else? Just a thought.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
131
131
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Why else can I say? This is adorable!




Your Prompt was:

Use the following words/phrases in your story or poem. Make them bold to make the judge's job easier:
plastic
ignore
space heater
itinerant
abalone








What I liked most about this piece were the puns, of course.



Further Corrections & comments:

My only suggestion is that in paragraph two: lines one and two, delete one of those sentences. It spoils a piece when things are repeated -- in my opinion.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
132
132
Review of Speech Maker  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review








Your Prompt was:

Write a story or poem about having to deliver an important speech on short notice.








What I liked most about this piece was the way you used the prompt so cleverly.



Further Corrections & comments:

I loved the scene with the stress ball. Very nice. That gave us an image of this poor, hall-pacing man.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
133
133
Review of Fulfillment  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review








Your Prompt was:

Some people think the world is going to end tomorrow, September 23rd. Write a story or poem about what happens to an end-of-the-world believer just after the Earth once again fails to be destroyed on schedule.








What I liked most about this piece was, as usual, your sense of humor. I also liked the part about life being magnificent and several lines that came after that. They took the piece from being merely sadly humorous to thought-provoking.



Further Corrections & comments:

he flipped his one flip-flop <-- Is this a localism? I had no idea what you meant by that. In California a flip-flop is a shoe. Is that what you meant or is it some piece of his shirt?

My own personal misunderstanding of this term caused me to backroad for meaning. So judge for yourself if this item should be changed or not.

Otherwise, I very much enjoyed your poem. Well done.

I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
134
134
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review








Your Prompt was:

Write a story or poem about a mysterious leaf. What's so mysterious about it, and how is the mystery resolved (if at all)?








What I liked most about this piece was that it was praise of the humble leaf. Nice.



Further Corrections & comments:

I think this would do well for a meditation. Can't you see the yoga student sitting under a fully-leaved tree, contemplating the wonder. Good reminder of nature's gift.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
135
135
Review of Leaf Matters  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review








Your Prompt was:

Write a story or poem about a mysterious leaf. What's so mysterious about it, and how is the mystery resolved (if at all)?








What I liked most about this piece was, of course, the subject matter since I love trees, but also the way you painted your pictures. Nice.



Further Corrections & comments:For some reason I felt that stanzas four and five should be switched. Of course, you're the poet (an excellent one, too,) but you might try it that way and see what you think.

Great job.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
136
136
Review of Celebrating Irma  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Please, may everyone keep safe. For those endangered by Mother Nature, we send our prayers and good wishes.




Your Prompt was:

Birthday Week is now over, but I have a different kind of birthday prompt for you today (though the prize goes back to the usual 10K GPs). Sunday, September 10, would have been my father's 100th birthday - he died nearly a decade ago, so he didn't quite make it. Now imagine someone born Sunday, 10 September 2017, and write about his or her 100th birthday, one century from now. Robert Waltz








What I liked most about this piece was the good spirits of the piece. It was amazing that you could find something inspirational concerning our hurricane siege. Good for you!



Further Corrections & comments:

I wish I could have seen into Ms. Irma a bit. What did she think about all this?

But, that was your choice, and you wrote a fine piece.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
137
137
Review of A Century  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Please, may everyone keep safe. For those endangered by Mother Nature, we send our prayers and good wishes.




Your Prompt was:

Birthday Week is now over, but I have a different kind of birthday prompt for you today (though the prize goes back to the usual 10K GPs). Sunday, September 10, would have been my father's 100th birthday - he died nearly a decade ago, so he didn't quite make it. Now imagine someone born Sunday, 10 September 2017, and write about his or her 100th birthday, one century from now. Robert Waltz








What I liked most about this piece was a peek into the future. Oh, my. I expected more -- all those pills -- YICK



Further Corrections & comments:

You forgot to mention that he has all his teeth since that's, perhaps, a simple yearly shot to keep the cavities away. LOL

Paragraph two: typo: Almost all the rest of me is fake.

Grandkids unless you meant it to say Grankids. (It's true that spelling may change, too.)



I am so glad I got to read this. It was fun. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
138
138
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! And Happy 17th Birthday Writing.com ,




Your Prompt was:

To be eligible for the special Birthday Week prize of 17,000 GPs tomorrow, you must write in the Friendship genre, and select Friendship as one of the three genres in your (story or poem) Static Item.
All other rules still apply.

PROMPT:
Two friends have an argument. What's it about, and how is it resolved to everyone's satisfaction?







What I liked most about this piece was the ending, of course. That was a real surprise. I thought she was pregnant. Don't ask me why I jumped to that conclusion. LOL



Further Corrections & comments:

You forgot to POST the word count. You must follow the rules.

You did a great job with this theme. I really liked this piece. But rules are rules.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
139
139
Review of Parasite  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! And Happy 17th Birthday Writing.com ,




Your Prompt was:

To be eligible for the special Birthday Week prize of 17,000 GPs tomorrow, you must write in the Friendship genre, and select Friendship as one of the three genres in your (story or poem) Static Item.
All other rules still apply.

PROMPT:
Two friends have an argument. What's it about, and how is it resolved to everyone's satisfaction?







I really liked this piece. The hurt felt raw & true. I liked the comparison to a mosquito, too.



Further Corrections & comments:

I would delete:
Good night
And

Goodbye is so much more profound.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
140
140
Review of School Days  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Write a story or poem about going back go school after a long hiatus.







What I liked most about this piece was the fact that it gave the unhappy characters in this piece a chance to change their lives. Nice. I love possibilities!



Further Corrections & comments:

I wondered what these characters looked like. The janitor had some nice health problems SHOWN to us, but I couldn't judge ages of either character.

This is a rough draft, but it really, really needs a good read over and a word check. Some sentences really made me stumble and have to FIGURE out what you meant. That is never a good idea for an author. A story, to be effective, must flow smoothly so the reader can fall into the scene.

But this piece has fine bones.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
141
141
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Write a story or poem about trying to cancel internet service, where the provider is quite reluctant to let go of its customer.






I'm sorry. I see nothing about this piece that refers to today's prompt. For that reason I must disqualify your piece from today's judging.



Further Corrections & comments:

the woman didn’t retreat from the dance floor; they ~~~ This is confusing because woman is singular and they is plural.

Also, I would recommend that in the place that you list genres, I would change this piece from Contests to Horror.

Horror, by the way, is not my favorite genre, but you did have a rather surprising ending.

I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




A judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
142
142
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

This weekend here in the US is Memorial Day weekend (it's observed on Monday). It's considered the effective beginning of summer, so many outdoor activities are planned for the weekend. Write a story or poem about one such activity that is interrupted by the forces of nature, but goes on anyway.








What I liked most about this piece was the series of adventures. What a sweet family, too.



Further Corrections & comments:

Poor puppy! Glad it wasn't a porcupine, though.

I would work on your paragraphs. When a person speaks, he/she really rates a new paragraph. (Each speaker.)

How about some sensory with this piece? SHOW us more. I liked the smell of the dog. That was good sensory. However, one of the best things about camping are the other smells -- pine, decaying bark, coffee over a fire in the morning. Bacon frying in a pan? S'mores with gooey chocolate.

How does the tent smell? What does it sound like when the zipper is tested by each kid? Etc

I



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
143
143
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

A workplace plays the same songs over and over on a 45-minute continuous loop. Write a story or poem about someone forced to work a double shift in that workplace.








What I liked most about this piece was that you did a different angle to the story -- telling us about the preventatives for dealing with the issue. Interesting.



Further Corrections & comments: Nice dad. I liked that he smiled at her in the rearview mirror.

I'm not sure why you told us about the deer. It lengthened the story but did it seem essential for the character development or the story's theme?



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
144
144
Review of Goldie  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

A friend of mine keeps picking up stray dogs. Write a story or poem about one particular stray dog's time in her house.








What I liked most about this piece was the emotional tale of Goldie. How sweet. I am afraid, however, that you didn't exactly follow the prompt. (in HER house)



Further Corrections & comments:

This needs some editing. There are some places where I didn't quite understand what you were saying. I am sure that with time you can smooth out the sentences. (IN particular, the line about the freezer and the crematory already running. Did you mean that the crematory couldn't keep up with the high number of dead dogs and cats?)



Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
145
145
Review by Shaara
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was an interesting poll. You're the second person who has recommended that book. I've put it on my reading list. Thanks.
146
146
Review by Shaara
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Interesting poll. Good job.
147
147
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Writer's Cramp Review




Your prompt was: It's St. Patrick's Day! Or, as I like to call it, International Drinking Day. Write a story or poem about overindulgence and its consequences (could be positive or negative) on this fine day. (Please remember that mention of alcoholic beverages requires a 13+ Content Rating at minimum, and all Content Ratings are acceptable here at the Cramp, provided the forum post keeps a 13+ rating.)




*Smile*  Great job! Too bad you told the whole story here. Now there's no tension . . . Wait! This is the TV script for a new soap opera. Yeah, you'll rake in a million!  *Smile*


What I liked most about this piece was the cast of characters. (See above.)


Corrections & comments: It was rather confusing as a short short. You need to develop the characters more. Give us some descriptions. Let us SEE.

Of course, since you're going to develop this for Hollywood, all that will come! LOL



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


For a quick view of my writing, I recommend:
 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


Each is an individual story that I will one day, hopefully, piece together into a novel.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
148
148
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Writer's Cramp Review




Your prompt was: You're all set up for that important video interview. Hair's perfect, clothing smart and appropriate, background tasteful but neutral, lighting flattering, kids under control... or are they? Write a story or poem about an important video interview being interrupted by meddling kids.





*Smile*  Great job! This seemed very realistic! (Except for the part about the mother having such an illusion that a threesome of boys could be quiet and well-mannered with cameras rolling. LOL)  *Smile*


What I liked most about this piece was the calm attitude of the mother throughout. Not one single session of yelling. Wow!


Corrections & comments:

Life is like that. This was totally believable!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


For a quick view of my writing, I recommend:
 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


Each is an individual story that I will one day, hopefully, piece together into a novel.



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
149
149
Review of Fun In The Sun  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Our regular Friday judge Robert Waltz has been enjoying most of the month of February on a tropical island. Today is supposed to be my last day judging his Fridays for him - assuming he comes home! So in honor of his return, write a STORY or POEM that includes ALL of the following, bolded for the judge to find easily.

Robert's sunburn
so many dolphins
luau
hiked to a waterfall
favorite beach
unplugged from the internet





What I liked most about this piece was that you did, indeed, use every item. Well done.



Further Corrections & comments:

You used the word hike twice. I'd change the earlier one to a walk to avoid the repetition.

The last word doesn't work for me. Perhaps you could use another word: learn, turn, stern, churn . . .? It just seems that burn implies something bad. When a memory burns that's because the pain of remembrance still irks, embarrasses, plagues . . .



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Saturday Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
150
150
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Writer's Cramp Review




Your prompt was:

Begin your SCI FI genre STORY or POEM with the following - exactly as it appears below:

"Couldn't you hear me knocking?" she asked, incredulously.





*Smile*  Great job! This is adorable. Get an illustrator and you've got a cute little children's storybook.  *Smile*


What I liked most about this piece was the sweetness of the child. We should all listen to a child with this much wisdom!


Corrections & comments: Avoid words like: begin, start, etc. They delay the action needlessly.

Example: Loretta didn't fully understand, but she began to cry and hugged the little creature.

Show instead of TELL: Loretta's puzzled face lit up with a smile. She wiped away her tears, rushed forward, and gave the little blue alien a fat, warm hug.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~



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For a quick view of my writing, I recommend:
 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


Each is an individual story that I will one day, hopefully, piece together into a novel.



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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