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176
176
Review of Internment  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Use the following words/phrases, exactly as written, in any order, somewhere in your story or poem:

calico cat
drone
yellow leaf
interment









You successfully used all the words of the prompt. Nice job.



Further Corrections & comments: I liked the juxtaposition of the cat and the grandmother.

Watch those it's and its. It's confusing to the reader when you use the wrong one. We have to stop and sort out the meaning.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
177
177
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Use the following words/phrases, exactly as written, in any order, somewhere in your story or poem:

calico cat
drone
yellow leaf
interment









You met the goal, although interment was a stretch. FOFL



Further Corrections & comments: I liked the premise of this piece. Very creative. Watch those it's vs. its. My favorite part of the piece were the friend/editor's comments!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
178
178
Review of Little Girls  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

I was perusing my latest L.L Bean catalog:

(Fall Outerware 2016: “Experience Weightlessess.”)

and zeroed in on the headings.

Someone writes brilliant ads, yet how many people notice them?

Sure, “Waterproof and Wrinkle-Free” is how-hum, and “More Versatility. More Value.” doesn’t ring my bell, but “One Step Ahead of Winter,” is really good for a page about shoes.

In the coat department, one can find: “Tried, True and Toasty,” which really tops “Underwear that Overachieves.”

Your task it to write a poem or story about a person who strives to be original for the ads in the clothing company catalog.

~~~~Do others appreciate his efforts?

~~~~Does her family refuse to call her a writer?

~~~~What are his/her frustrations/successes?








What I liked most about this piece was the idea that Richard would try to talk to little girls in a school yard. I'm a retired female teacher, and I wouldn't attempt that. In fact, the neighbor kids still stare at me suspiciously whenever I walk by -- even though I never stop to talk without their parents being present, AND, I faithfully give them each presents every Christmas. LOL



Further Corrections & comments:

I don't think Richard gets the job. He should have done something daring:

"Hot pink panties make you FEEL like a superpower," or "Panties that SuperGirl would like." (Or that girl in Harry Potter, or whatever female cartoon character is in vogue.)

Cute story.



Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
179
179
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

I was perusing my latest L.L Bean catalog:

(Fall Outerware 2016: “Experience Weightlessess.”)

and zeroed in on the headings.

Someone writes brilliant ads, yet how many people notice them?

Sure, “Waterproof and Wrinkle-Free” is how-hum, and “More Versatility. More Value.” doesn’t ring my bell, but “One Step Ahead of Winter,” is really good for a page about shoes.

In the coat department, one can find: “Tried, True and Toasty,” which really tops “Underwear that Overachieves.”

Your task it to write a poem or story about a person who strives to be original for the ads in the clothing company catalog.

~~~~Do others appreciate his efforts?

~~~~Does her family refuse to call her a writer?

~~~~What are his/her frustrations/successes?








What I liked most about this piece was the setting. How funny to make a writer creatively imagine cold in warm-weather Florida. LOL



Further Corrections & comments: There were a great many typos & confusing sentences, many of which could be corrected by a simple Word Editing program (or use Writing.com's feature.)

(Although this contest is meant to be for rough copy, it still pays to take a moment to smooth out your piece before posting.)

Also, I'd suggest you avoid word repetitions. They stop the flow. (Example: I typically stand inside for a period that ends when my bones feel the cold and start to chill my bones.

And: ... After all, I make just about all of this stuff up! I've thought about putting all this stuff onto an online auction . . .



I am so glad I got to read this. This story was fun.

Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
180
180
Review of Tangled Up in Two  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Speaking of music, the big news this week is that the Nobel Prize for Literature went to... Bob Dylan! While some people may be crying foul over this, I think it's awesome. Great songwriters are still writers. Today's prompt, then, is to pick a Bob Dylan song - any song - and feature it in a story or poem that explains Dylan's genius to someone who just doesn't see it.





What I liked most about this piece was the way you were "tangled up in two." LOL



Further Corrections & comments: Maybe we should view this commendation as an appreciation for an individual who broke the mold for poetry. Yes, I prefer Robert Frost (I'm a kid at heart,) but one has to admit that the songs Dylan wrote inspired, impressed, and well, tangled us all up into two minds. Another great piece of writing. I enjoyed this.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
181
181
Review of Aftermath  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Write a story or poem set in the aftermath of a major hurricane.







What I liked most about this piece was the wonderful way you described the upheaval all around.



Further Corrections & comments:

The last line didn't do it for me: albeit it long and slow seems to have a word left out.

I hope you're correct that the scary drama is over for all those effected, but there's another hurricane brewing out there in the Atlantic, which seems to want to produce more havoc -- pushing and playing tag in some kind of perverted ring-around-the-rosy.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
182
182
Review of Pumpkin Fever  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

October is about pumpkins!

The grocery stores show end aisles filled with pumpkin products: pancakes, soups and stews, crackers, and hand cream. (I even saw some pumpkin-flavored dog biscuits!)

Write a story or poem titled:

Pumpkin Fever








What I liked most about this piece was that the elderly woman really, really liked pumpkins. Very cute.



Further Corrections & comments:

This made for a very charming story. I'm not sure we needed to hear the bit about the daughter, but I very much enjoyed Mrs. Duncan.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
183
183
Review of Pumpkin Fever  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

October is about pumpkins!

The grocery stores show end aisles filled with pumpkin products: pancakes, soups and stews, crackers, and hand cream. (I even saw some pumpkin-flavored dog biscuits!)

Write a story or poem titled:

Pumpkin Fever








What I liked most about this piece was the form. I so rarely see poems anymore with different formats. Good.



Further Corrections & comments:

I haven't seen in frost on my window panes! Southern California has had heat waves of late. Sigh.

I really liked the last line!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
184
184
Review of Pumpkin Fever  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

October is about pumpkins!

The grocery stores show end aisles filled with pumpkin products: pancakes, soups and stews, crackers, and hand cream. (I even saw some pumpkin-flavored dog biscuits!)

Write a story or poem titled:

Pumpkin Fever








What I liked most about this piece was the idea of a new flavor of candy corn. Cute.



Further Corrections & comments:

They don't have to change the recipe for candy corn. It's an addiction for me, one I stay far away from.

I wouldn't mind waking in that castle with Gene Wilder. LOL I bet that would be great fun (whoops, except he's dead now. Maybe it's not such a pleasant idea.)



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
185
185
Review of Pumpkin Fever  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

October is about pumpkins!

The grocery stores show end aisles filled with pumpkin products: pancakes, soups and stews, crackers, and hand cream. (I even saw some pumpkin-flavored dog biscuits!)

Write a story or poem titled:

Pumpkin Fever








What I liked most about this piece was the cheerful air of it -- even though you say that pumpkin season is "driving us bunkers." LOL



Further Corrections & comments:

devices

"Making tingling happen in all parts" sounded a bit questionable. It made me wonder which parts you were referring to -- of the body???

Perhaps you might want to modify that line?

Otherwise, this was quite nice.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
186
186
Review of Lifeless  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

October is here, month of shadows, of gray, of fog, of the never-there. One person, alone on an otherwise deserted beach, gloomy, windy, tear-streaked. Somewhere, a seagull cries. Write the story or poem.






What I liked most about this piece were, as usual, those awesome images.



Further Corrections & comments:

My favorite line: I am a rinse of sorrow, an eddy of dejection. Wow!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
187
187
Review of I grow cold  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

October is here, month of shadows, of gray, of fog, of the never-there. One person, alone on an otherwise deserted beach, gloomy, windy, tear-streaked. Somewhere, a seagull cries. Write the story or poem.






What I liked most about this piece was the interesting images given.



Further Corrections & comments: This is kind of depressing. Nicely done, but depressing. Sigh.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
188
188
Review of Attitudes of Food  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

I just printed out a copy of the Dirty 12 and Clean 15.

(EWG’s 2016 SHOPPER'S GUIDE TO PESTICIDES IN PRODUCE)

That’s a chart that lists the fruits and vegetables that should be (must be)

organic vs. those with which we can relax a bit even if we find ourselves

munching the cheaper version.

Write a story or poem about such things.

Feel free to take either side of the “eating clean” theories.







What I liked most about this piece was the delightful way you listed the two lists. Very cute.



Further Corrections & comments:

I wonder if you could work in what this is actually about. I know its purpose due to the prompt, and maybe some will associate the clean vs. dirty, but will everyone? A footnote could deal with that, a title, or an addition to the headings, clean and dirty.

Otherwise, this is not only cute but helpful as a ditty. Perhaps we should all memorize it for when we head to the grocery store. How about setting it to a catchy tune?



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
189
189
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

This is a quote from an Earth, Wind and Fire song that runs through my thoughts every September:

"Someday you'll remember
dancing in September"

Write a poem or short story (any genre) using this quotation somewhere and bolding it for judging convenience.





What I liked most about this piece was the main character -- personification done well!



Further Corrections & comments:

rests patience caused me a reread. You might want to rethink that verb.

Also: the slipshod ways -- I'd make that way.



I am so glad I got to read this. It was excellent. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
190
190
Review of Mall Sounds  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:



My neighbor is cutting his lawn. The birds are singing (crows with a cah cah, turtle doves cooing, and a lone blue jay is squawking his protest of something.) My cat’s meowing she wants me to play with her. There’s a cricket in the fireplace that’s letting out a cautious chirp now and the, and walkers are strolling by, happily chatting about something that happened at work yesterday.

Write a story or poem about the sounds you hear at the:

(choose one)

~~~~Mall

~~~~Ice cream shop

~~~~Grocery store

~~~~~~~~~~~ Or ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~Gym





What I liked most about this piece was that you did provide numerous sounds that really brought us into that moment of reflection.



Further Corrections & comments:

I especially enjoyed the coffee cup with its plastic lid. Well done.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
191
191
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:



My neighbor is cutting his lawn. The birds are singing (crows with a cah cah, turtle doves cooing, and a lone blue jay is squawking his protest of something.) My cat’s meowing she wants me to play with her. There’s a cricket in the fireplace that’s letting out a cautious chirp now and the, and walkers are strolling by, happily chatting about something that happened at work yesterday.

Write a story or poem about the sounds you hear at the:

(choose one)

~~~~Mall

~~~~Ice cream shop

~~~~Grocery store

~~~~~~~~~~~ Or ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~Gym





What I liked most about this piece was that you really brought back those memories. Excellent job. I really enjoyed this piece.



Further Corrections & comments:

Moms and dads -- no reason to capitalize the second since it's not being used as a proper noun.

You did a super job with this prompt!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
192
192
Review of Lost and Found  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:



My neighbor is cutting his lawn. The birds are singing (crows with a cah cah, turtle doves cooing, and a lone blue jay is squawking his protest of something.) My cat’s meowing she wants me to play with her. There’s a cricket in the fireplace that’s letting out a cautious chirp now and the, and walkers are strolling by, happily chatting about something that happened at work yesterday.

Write a story or poem about the sounds you hear at the:

(choose one)

~~~~Mall

~~~~Ice cream shop

~~~~Grocery store

~~~~~~~~~~~ Or ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~Gym





Please remember that according to the rules of the contest, you MUST post your word count in the Posting. Please edit that point, or this piece cannot be considered in the judging.



Further Corrections & comments:


This was excellent, absolutely perfect! I hope you get back in time to fix the piece so I can consider your piece in the contest!!!!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
193
193
Review of Money Pushers  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:



Autumn is coming. (For those of us in the top hemisphere, at least.) I can tell because Halloween stuff is on display in the stores (right next to the Christmas stuff that's been there since June), Oktoberfest beer is available, and pretty much everything has a pumpkin spice version now.

So write a story or poem with all these things in it. [Note: keep in mind that a minimum Content Rating of 13+ is required for items that mention alcoholic beverages such as delicious beer.]


What I liked most about this piece was the way you denounced the rush of the holidays. Hear! Hear!



Further Corrections & comments:

Nice flow -- as always. Very enjoyable poem.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
194
194
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:



Autumn is coming. (For those of us in the top hemisphere, at least.) I can tell because Halloween stuff is on display in the stores (right next to the Christmas stuff that's been there since June), Oktoberfest beer is available, and pretty much everything has a pumpkin spice version now.

So write a story or poem with all these things in it. [Note: keep in mind that a minimum Content Rating of 13+ is required for items that mention alcoholic beverages such as delicious beer.]


Well done. This had some cute lines. I especially liked the bit about Aunt Bertha.


Further Corrections & comments:

I also liked the: Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year's gifts! LOL



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
195
195
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:



Frogs can “drink” through their skin. Octupi can see through their skin. Giraffes have brown spots or “thermal windows” which allow body heat to leak out. Chameleons’s skin changes colors for purposes of communication and camouflage. The green sea slug uses algae to make its skin solar-powered.


Write a poem or story about SKIN.

What I liked most about this piece was the startling idea. I sure didn't expect that!



Further Corrections & comments:

I think I would avoid giving the aliens' first person conversation. You made them too human-sounding. If you create a version with only the humans' viewpoint, the aliens would feel more believable. Let us see through the characters' eyes -- the horror, the astonishment, the total disgust.

Great ending, however. Maybe the eyes of the aliens can zero in on a character & make him shiver. Maybe the aliens can get up their bones the they see this feast of skin? (Just teasing.)

Very creative. Good job with the prompt.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
196
196
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:



Frogs can “drink” through their skin. Octupi can see through their skin. Giraffes have brown spots or “thermal windows” which allow body heat to leak out. Chameleons’s skin changes colors for purposes of communication and camouflage. The green sea slug uses algae to make its skin solar-powered.


Write a poem or story about SKIN.

What I liked most about this piece was the way you could see your heritage so vividly (and alarmingly. LOL



Further Corrections & comments:

my mother

my grandmother


Should it be: their likenesses?


Great job with the prompt.

P.S. I think I have my grandfather's ear lobes. The skin in them is sagging. Sigh.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
197
197
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:



Frogs can “drink” through their skin. Octupi can see through their skin. Giraffes have brown spots or “thermal windows” which allow body heat to leak out. Chameleons’s skin changes colors for purposes of communication and camouflage. The green sea slug uses algae to make its skin solar-powered.


Write a poem or story about SKIN.

What I liked most about this piece was the light-hearted tone. I think you covered it all. LOL



Further Corrections & comments:

I'm not sure sickness is skin-porous. I thought we carried it inside via mouth, nose, or other cavities. But, maybe . . .

Anyway, this was a dynamite job. Well done.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
198
198
Review of Guitar Hero  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Tomorrow, September 10, would be my father's 99th birthday, though he died 8 years ago. Write a story or poem featuring a 99-year-old person with an important decision to make on his or her birthday.


Hope you had fun!




What I liked most about this piece was the way you revved us up. No age is too late to learn something. Wow. This is inspirational. Send to AARP!



Further Corrections & comments:

This gave me a feel-good pat. I enjoyed the read.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
199
199
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Sixteen aliens drop down to vacation on Earth. These visitors are so timid and tiny that Terrans (Earthlings) never notice them, even when, holding hands as these diminutive creatures like to do, they skimper about celebrating their Sixteenth Sweet Sixteen Birthday (which aliens from Whiskoto always do.)

Write a story or poem in the sci-fi genre about the aliens’ pooled observations/story of planet Earth and tell/show us what these aliens said about the creatures they found there.



Have fun!




What I liked most about this piece was the observation that so many species have become extinct. Some of that could be natural selection, but a great many are due to humanity's dominance (selfishness) I fear.



Further Corrections & comments:

Love flow and rhyme. You did an excellent job with this difficult prompt. I'm very impressed.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
200
200
Review of On the Runway  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

For this installment of the Cramp's WDC Birthday Week celebration, you'll be writing in the Fashion genre. Be sure to pick Fashion as one of your three genres, and make the story or poem appropriate to the genre. In keeping with the theme of "16," your story or poem must include the following: Sixteen moons and sixteen hundred stars.



Have fun!




What I liked most about this piece was the way you used the sixteen moons and sites hundred stars. Very clever.



Further Corrections & comments: Throwing in the part about how they made the cover of Elle magazine was a good touch for authenticity.

In the opening paragraph, you might want to give us a time frame. Example: As a child . . . When she was young . . .

I the third paragraph, it would help to bring us up to the actual date of the event. In Milan . . . Finally the day arrived (I don't like that one, but you get the idea.) Another idea is to use asterisks to show us the time jump. That is done sometimes.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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