Wow you put a lot of emotion into this. The sadness is evident from your past but also the pain. I can't give you much advice but to keep writing because your good. I really liked this and I hope you continue to write.
You are a very talented writer but I must say you need to check you grammar and add comas. Your charaters are diverse in the full extent of the defination of the word and I love them all but most of all Majah. You add a lot of detail that I believe adds that much more to the story. Oh yeah in some places you have runon scentices. Overall you have writen a very unforgettable story and one that I loved.
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