Hello freespirit . Good day to you.
I am ShelleyA and I am reviewing your poem "I rise" in affiliation with our group "The Rockin' Reviewers" . Please note that this review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it in its reflection of the theme’s intent — overcoming adversity — while at the same time captures the essence of your poem as it acts as a portal that prepares the reader for what’s to come and to invite them in to it.
**First Impression**: For me, poetry opens the door of opportunity for the writer to explore different ways of presenting poetry and to do it in new and unique ways to stimulate readers even if we sometimes bend the rules of forms to make it our own. I'm a formalist poet and I love to read, write and create form poetry. I love short poetry and this is a fine example of it. A very good write and message about what you could change in yourself. Skillfully crafted free verse that is short, concise and succinct which I enjoy.
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Good use of poetic device. Good color and shading in your wording that promotes and evokes emotion from your personal observation (the sense of sight). Through the lens of your eye and heart you paint a vivid picture of renewal of spirit, from rising from the ashes of the life you could change to become someone new, someone stronger, a better you that any reader can appreciate and relate to. Metaphor/Personification/Simile: Very nice extended metaphor that is followed through to the end of your poem. Good descriptive/comparison.
Flow is good as is the line to line transition and breaks. Good rhythm and pacing. Deep expression of emotion; powerful, passionate, heartfelt and introspective. Confident, courageous, liberated and spirited. Change is a powerful thing, and you picture this throughout your poem.
Rhyme is not applicable in this piece.
Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Nice use of alliteration, assonance and consonance.
I especially like the following lines:
“I fly, but not like a cloud
I'm the eagle that soars in the skies.” — Beautiful, powerful. You express that you are now in control of your destiny. I sense the fearlessness you have gained through your experience and you are now your own person and will call all the shots pertaining to yourself. Well said.
No spelling or grammar errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, in line four to add a comma after “form”; at the end of line five add a period and at the end of line six change the period to a comma. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion. Remember, this is your poem, use what you may have found helpful in my review, ignore the rest.
Overall, this is powerful, inspirational, and uplifting piece which we can learn from. It kept my attention from beginning to end. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!