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551 Public Reviews Given
551 Total Reviews Given
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Review of Golden Breeze  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
my overall impression was a light-hearted declaration of love, the font lends well to this romantic piece.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I like the rhyming and the easily read verses. I like the "feather light wind" and the "golden breeze". It is a pleasure to read and I found no harsh or rough areas.


Suggestions:
I have no suggestions, this was a well-written poem.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
As I read this I can feel her anticipation at first. Then the doubt about her success as a person starts creeping back in. In the end, she makes takes a drastic step, almost like a bride on her wedding day, that totally ruins her desired image.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The image I have of her is a pale well-shaped woman who steadily hates her appearance and suddenly unexpectedly goes to a tanning parlor and ruins her party.


Suggestions:
You might want to go over your work and check the punctuation.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of The Outcast  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
my overall impression is one of a person who is trying to do the right thing, to help a school companion. It is wonderful he can see good qualities in a person who has little respect from anyone else.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
This is a straightforward explanation of the qualities of another young person in the school. The willingness of a companion interested in being a friend.

Grammar


Suggestions:
I believe that there needs to be more description of the setting and the people involved to round out the story.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
My main impression is gluttony and adventure if those two concepts can belong to the same idea. Eating new foods is a way of venturing into other cultures while being safe and comfortable. But eating can be harmful if taken to an extreme. Especially with unusual spices and food ingredients.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
My pleasure with this poem is the ability to imagine and taste what is being written as though I were there. I am a 'foodie' as it seems to be termed these days, and I really enjoy my variety of foods.
I also liked the rhyming in this work, it adds to the structure of "listing" food someone may want to try.



Suggestions:
I think a little explanation of each food (with fewer choices listed) would be fun to read. Maybe the unusual ingredients or sorts of preparations could be expanded upon.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
As I read this poem, I see a changing perception of how things look to an innocents' eyes. The feeling of anticipation and excitement is carried within the words but yet not spoken aloud. Very nice.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
Tinsel-twinkle, great combination of nouns. They completely change the nature of the poem when combined with the child.


Suggestions:
Is "glister" a word? You might want to check the spelling. Also maybe use the word 'into' instead of "when it". Those are just suggestions to tighten up the read.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
Upon reading this work, I felt the helplessness and the hopeless feelings that the author was putting out there. I can't say what it felt like personally, I wasn't born then, but I can feel empathy and distress at the brutality of the time. My impression is that there is hope for a better future even after a brutal and meaningless beginning.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
Your words were well chosen, I SAW the 'strange fruit' hanging in the trees, I saw the rioting with spitting protests. I very much appreciated your work, it made me think and feel feelings I haven't quite done before.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of And Then  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
The immediate impact your words had on me was blurry and troubled, hazy. And then the reality hit 'I had nothing'. If I am numb with shock from losing everything, DO I feel?

Then when I got used to the idea I have nothing and I AM feeling shock-y, you hit me again with I lost everything a second time! What in the hell am I going to do, do I even WANT to do anything!

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The words provoked a strong emotional response of almost despair, at having to start over just to find out I lost it AGAIN! How cyclical is this? NOW I am a glutton for punishment!

"put it all on me
and me
and me
and me."
These lines make me feel the repetition of the events and wonder why they can't stop.

Grammar
I found no errors.


Suggestions:
I think in the last stanza when you say
"When you lose everything,
do you still feel
something?"
Perhaps you can substitute the word ANYTHING for 'something'. To me, that kind of tightens up your meaning.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of Haiku for you!  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poems on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading them and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
Poem one: Summer Sun
My immediate thought on reading this was a rapid emotional response to "my God it's hot" to "thank God it's cooling down." I felt the irritation that I start to feel when my environment isn't suiting me well. :)
Poem Two: Silent Snow
Meanwhile, I am also reading #2 which gives me a totally opposite posture of calm and serenity. A "Blanket" that suggests rest and relaxation, an unhurried pose of Day culminating into a restful Night.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
Poem one:
Your words brought an immediacy to my perception and hurried movement from one feeling to another. The heat is too much, it is BLAZING. It packs a major punch in tone. The clouds aren't here but, Man, when they do arrive changes are coming!

Poem Two:
I had no feelings of urgency with this one. Your words paint a picture of silently falling snowflakes and a muffled quality of sound that feels like blankets. I love Haiku, I love poetry to try and come up with the strongest flavor of images and sensation that I can evoke. You do that for me, and its quite lovely.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your work on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This was a casual non-hurried depiction of the birth of the Son of God in Christian Mythos. There is no religious fervor, there are no frantic mouthings to take away from this simple pleasurable rendition of the event. Quiet questions are asked for each of us to answer for ourselves.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The words flowed well, with no hiccups or rough phrasing to detract from the overall piece. Smoothly proceeding from a basic story with a quiet proclamation at the end. Lovely.


Suggestions:
I really enjoyed your rendition of this event. I feel that a little more detail about the hardship of traveling in those times, how it was a rough journey, what MADE it hard.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of Drifting Echoes  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
My first impression is a formal simple ritual of the taps in the morning mists. I always feel a skipping of my heart when they are played.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I feel the poignant sorrow through your descriptions and the 'sound' of taps. It makes me think of the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

Grammar
I think you made a grammatical error and said "IF those who survived" when you might have meant OF those who survived.


Suggestions:
I don't have any suggestions because this was a strong composition and made me feel the regret and pride that people defend our country at the risk of their own lives.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of Comic's Lament  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This WAS funny when I read it, I liked the rhyming and pun-nishment. When nothing else works, pratfalls do (even verbal ones).

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I think this is an amusing light comedy where the author has attempted the High Forms of Literature (ie. Shakespeare) only to come down a bit to the common man.


Suggestions:
I think I would have enjoyed this more if you had kept to a standard limit of syllables per line.. say 8 or 9.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!


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Review of Two Parachutists  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I took this as a Sensation for the Big Apple... that is like the INfamous Orwellian Mars Invasion radio show. I am not sure if everyone was after the parachutists because they might be injured or because it was illegal to parachute in city limits (I am not sure if it is or is NOT legal, just making supposition) and they needed to be apprehended.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
This poem sounded to me like a sort of news story in the middle of a poem. It is neat regardless of what it is. I was captivated and read the whole thing several times. I also liked the rhyming, that rigidity is what tended to make it sound like a news story.


Suggestions:
I have don't have suggestions because you told a good story and I found no grammatical errors.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of In My Heart  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This is clearly the mourning of a new (or seemed to be) widow. She wonders why her, why him... that there is no rhyme or reason for his death. Unfortunately, there is rarely a cause, it simply happens. When Thanatos chooses his mark, there will be death that follows. Quite a lovely poem.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The descriptions of their time together are sweet and poignant.

Grammar
There are a few times when a verse or line could be tightened up for more artistic impact:
"And here I must stay.
Without my love, without my life." Would perhaps read better "and here I must stay, without my love, my life" This makes the words flow better. Several places could use some pruning for better word flow.


Suggestions:
Artistically I see no need to change ideas or images, but I do think it would be easier and more dramatic to read if you pruned down the poem as suggested.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of Art  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I really liked how you made it clear that Art is NOT just a specific activity limited to specific people. Each person who creates something new (quilt, poem, painting, drawing, music, etc) IS an artist. They each have that love of letting their imagination take them where they will.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I love how these lines describe each artists' feelings about what they do and how deliberate or random it can be and still be art.

Grammar
There are no errors that I saw.


Suggestions:
You created a very compact, yet creative poem that requires no further work, in my opinion.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I can feel the anticipation that you are writing about. It is a crisp beautiful night and Christmas is near, that time when family and friends can get together to celebrate and feel gratitude for all the years' blessings. Each of your sentences supports this anticipation.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I like your imagery, glittering snow, frozen halo, wild white terrain, etc. For some reason, I feel warmth not cold when I read this, very strange really. (This is just my opinion)

Grammar
You were remiss in some punctuation, periods, that sort of thing. When you complete an idea even if it is in stanzas, you need to use punctuation to usher on the reader. Example "Placidity hangs heavy in the somber midnight air" There needs to be a . = period here. You might also want to check your capitalization... it isn't always consistent.


Suggestions:
Other than the punctuation I suggested you check, this was a heartfelt well-written piece.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review by Sherasi
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This is a definite description of how the world will go down if nothing is changed in how we manage our resources. I agree with all you say here. I am afraid of the future that this piece foretells.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The imagery is strong and evident. It takes little imagination to see where we are headed.


Grammar
I am not sure what the 'glistening spheres' are in that first stanza. Are they TEARS?


Suggestions:
You might want to rework some of the parts of the poem because it sounds forced to make it rhyme.

https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/226...
and
https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/226...

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of Hope's Dawn  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This is a whipsaw sort of work going from hopes to disappointments; striving or failure. That actually is not bad, keeps the reader on their toes. I mostly got verbally/mentally stuck on "will this be the year..."

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
Your descriptions are good, "new dawn", "hope rises", "bright above the horizon", etc. I read lovely images in those phrases. Mostly, the phrases encourage us (as the audience) to keep on trying.

Grammar
I see no errors in the grammar.


Suggestions:
I liked how you said, "will this be the year?" as well as "yesterday's shattered resolutions". This makes me think of New Year's Day and the Resolutions that seem to be more prominent then. "The secret to make our souls happy" doesn't fit, really. Perhaps rephrasing it a bit to continue with the resolution theme would make it more fitting?

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of EARTH  
Review by Sherasi
Rated: E | (3.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I like spare to-the-point poetry at times. To use that kind of format, one needs to use the best words that can be chosen with an idea that continues to the end. Not happening here.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I find this piece to have very little flow in words or ideas. I can appreciate the attempt to create a work in this senryu format. Unfortunately, the attempt failed, in my opinion. Here are my reasons for saying that.

         #1 you named a specific planet which means you will need to follow with words that reflect the characteristics of that world.
         #2 "round" is the direct statement that is incorrectly describing the shape of this world. "Sphere" might have worked, the actual description would be 'oblate spheroid'.
         #3 Nomad in space could have easily led to the theme that living beings on earth could also be "nomadic". Home to lifeforms could be worked into migrating herds and bands of animals and people.
         #4 which will perish next? That is totally unrelated to anything else in the poem.


Grammar
Grammar was well done.


Suggestions:
I suggest you think of an idea from beginning to end, write brain-storming words and ideas. Think of something that is important to you and evolve it from there.
I am going to give you three stars. But, if you rewrite this work, ask me to review it and we can work on it together.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This short read has an interesting feel: movement from the Dark to the Light, I think of a tunnel with light at the end of a journey. I feel a questioning, "can I go there?"

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
You use few words but the ones you do use pack a punch... "Shadow's lead to the light" and "The light beyond life's journey". The imagery is shadowy, growing clearer as the journey progresses.

Grammar
I like the arrangement of the words, there were no grammatical errors noted.


Suggestions:


I have no suggestions because it is a complete picture in your words already.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of What did I do  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
A child witnessing the death of a parent by suicide has got to be one of the more dramatic moments in a kid's life. How horrible to lose someone that you love that way, but a child makes it so much worse.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
"Her beautiful face submerged in the puddle of her own blood growing by the second - each excruciating second." That was a mesmerizing description. I can see her lying in the blood, breathing her last. The horror of the event is found in all the terse small phrases and short sentences.

Grammar
You changed the tense of the poem, "her blood" and then "See your smile"


Suggestions:
I would suggest you go over the poem and create a consistent tense the whole way through.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of Love's Sphere  
Review by Sherasi
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
Reading this I got the impression of melancholy and regrets. The words repeat the same theme over and over... "wishing, oh wishing that you were by my side" and "And I lie there lost in the dream" as well as "Listening still to words long dead, but still alive in your heart". This is a sad piece that I can tell you feel deeply about.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
Your imagery is masterfully done "wishing that you were by my side- my head pillowed on your chest" I get the feeling of closeness and relaxation. But you are feeling the loss of that closeness.

Grammar
Your words were chosen with care, and I see no real grammatical errors.


Suggestions:
I'm feeling a bit confused about a portion of your poem. "And ever so softly feel your heart move within mine," and "Listening still to words long dead, but still alive in your heart, your voice
and as the silence once more creeps...".

These make me confused because it seems as if the relationship either ended with separation or death. Regardless, "still alive in your heart" and "Feel your heart move within mine" is a bit confusing .. is the relationship ended? Maybe clarify what happened between the two lovers.



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This poem, to me, sounds a bit melancholy and tired. As if the author is struggling to make the start of a work to get to the end of the story.

pink}Artistic Voice and Imagery:
My impression was that the white empty page makes a barrier to your ability to put down words. I, also have this problem as both an author AND an artist. Your 'voice' conveys the feeling that the words come as a struggle at a blood price from the heart. This was intriguing and I wanted to read it all, and so I did several times.

Grammar
Your grammar and word choices look good to me.


Suggestions:
I notice some of your punctuation is faulty (ex: writers heart needs an apostrophe after writers since - the writers' heart)

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of The Librarian  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
As I read this poem, I am struck by the fact that the librarian is as stiff as the building is 'loose' or older and not pristine anymore. I enjoyed the images because they remind me of the "stacks" I played in as a child in Gettysburg Seminary. I love the scent of old pages and books. They are calming to me.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The 'plodding' of the tempo in this poem makes me see the library as a dying or sickened entity. I see the attempt of the author to dream and cut out those images of negativity. You capture the dry persona of the librarian very nicely. She cares more about the books rather than the contents!

Grammar
Your grammar and word choices look good to me.


Suggestions:

I have no suggestions because it is a complete picture in your words already.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of Gone Far Too Soon  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I feel the pain at the loss of your loved one. I can see the frustration at the poor investigation the police did. I also feel the anger you feel at the drug-using boyfriend and his contribution of her death.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
 Your choice of words is perfect for your work. "Found by drunken boyfriend. He offers tequila
To the police who let him go: no charges filed." You see the woman lying in the motel room, you see the coroner doing the testing, and you see the uncaring attitude with the police exemplified when they released the boyfriend without suspicion.

Grammar
You used proper grammar and punctuation, there was nothing to jar the flow of words other than the intentional ones regarding the death.

Suggestions:
I think if you could alter this sentence to include "was a known drug user", the words will not trip at that juncture.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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Review of Words.  
Review by Sherasi
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a powerful piece of literature. Your descriptions were totally appropriate, you ask questions that can't be answered. You reveal a very personal side in your words. I, myself, have your 'father' too... except mine was called "Jack". Your words are mine as well.

For your information, there is a group called "Al-anon" which helps family members and friends cope with the feelings and thinking patterns from exposure to irrational and alcoholic thinking. I suggest you look it up.

Al-Anon Family Groups
https://al-anon.org

This was well laid out in what and how you wrote. I was riveted and read it all and then re-read it.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing. Writing helps get rid of anger, hatred, and fear.

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