First of all I want to thank you for your entry in my Stroll Down Memory Lane contest.
Now on to your review ~
WHAT I LIKED: I like that you've started and ended your write with the same three words.
I really like how you've followed the picture prompt that you chose so closely. I'm sure some do not recognize the man as John F. Kennedy.
THEME: You've managed to share, so vividly, where you were on that fateful day when our president was shot, so many years ago.
You've kept the reader's interest as you follow through with your storyline from beginning to end.
GRAMMAR: My only suggestion here would be to spell out the word eighteen - I was 18 that June
OVERALL IMPRESSION: I enjoyed this well written story that takes the reader back in time and makes them remember where they were on that unforgettable day, when their leader was shot!
First of all I want to welcome you back and thank you for your entry in my Stroll Down Memory lane contest.
Now on to your review ~
WHAT I LIKED I loved this well written verse about what alcohol has done to a mother and son relationship. Your imagery is vivid and your poem is filled with powerful emotions that tug at the heart.
My favorite part being -
The golden liquid swirls in his bottle, as he takes time
to empty another, then another, until the teardrops start,
from the depths of his delusion, the pain he feels is real.
He continues to shorten his life and it breaks my heart.
What a profound impact these words had on me! I could feel his pain and the effect this has on you - the mother.
I found myself drawn into this connection and feeling this pain, also, as I have experienced watching the drug addiction of my oldest son. Who, by the way still struggles with his addiction.
FORM You have chosen a continuous rhyme scheme throughout. Your poem flows perfectly from beginning to the end.
GRAMMAR I see no errors here.
OVERALL IMPRESSION Wow, this is a heartwrenching write that is sure to "haunt" the reader for a long time afterwards.
First of all I would like to welcome you back and thank you for your entry in my Stroll Down Memory Lane contest.
Now on to your review ~
WHAT I LIKED: Your consistent rhyming throughout this piece has added to the romantic story told of two childhood friends who become lovers in the end.
FORM: You have chosen the aabb rhyme scheme for all but the last stanza here. I would have liked to have seen that followed up in the last stanza too. I did have a bit of a problem with the flow in this stanza - Stern and superior, tall and commanding he wielded
The rhythmic baton, and trained a team that excelled.
Of a sudden, once, by hazel eyes, his heart was enmeshed
Her tresses long and flowing, her pale pink face, blushed.
The meter tends to fall off on the third line here. Causing the reader to stumble somewhat.
GRAMMAR: I see no errors in grammar. But, wonder is Stacy and Tracy the same person?
OVERALL IMPRESSION: A lovely tale of romance that follows the prompt nicely.
Hello Summer Grace,
This is a Rising Star Member to Member Review just for you. Please, understand that these are my personal views and they are in no way given with intent for you to make changes to your work. I am simply offering my review in a helpful nature.
WHAT I LIKED: I really like the emotion expressed in this song. I like the lighthearted feeling that is generated here. One can feel the playfulness leading up to the sweetness in the KISS.
THE FORM: The verses and the chorus are layed out nicely. I especially like your choice of the three short lines at the bridge -Oh no!
Don't stop.
I need you to take me to the top.
GRAMMAR: I believe you might mean you're where you have - You say your just here to please,
OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a well written song/lyric that flows nicely and makes the reader feel good all over.
First of all I want to thank you for your entry in my STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE contest.
Now on to your review ~
What I like about this poem is it's sheer romantic beauty!
You have created a fine example of a free flowing verse in this free form piece. Your imagery is stunning and reveals the interaction between two lovers so clearly visible in the minds eye.
My favorite part being - Passions slowly built, taboos broken,
Poetry all but forgotten in our secret glen.
Such is the beautiful game we play.
My overall impression is that this is an exceptional romantic write that leaves the reader with a pleasant vision of lovers delight.
Hi there,
I am reviewing for you today on behalf of The Rising Stars. Please, know that these are my personal thoughts and you may take only what you want from my review. I'm here to help.
I really enjoyed reading this well written poem about honoring our Mother Earth. You have done a fine job explaining nature's importance and effect on human survival within your structured verses.
This exceptional write with perfect rhyming and continuous flow serves it's purpose to make the reader aware of the respect and care that our earth demands and so rightfully deserves.
I love the feeling of 'hope' that you have embarked upon us as we read - “Let’s try again.”
First of all I want to thank you for your second entry in my Stroll Down Memory Lane contest.
Now on to your review ~
This is another fine verse from you. You have captured the might of the tugboat and the role that it plays against the towering ocean liner in this remarkable little write.
I love it!
I see no errors here.
My favorite part has to be - Mighty stacks blow black smoke,
standing seven stories high.
"Chug. Chug. Puff." is the cry.
Shovel on more coal and coke.
My overall impression is that this is a powerful write reminding me of "The Little Engine That Could."
First of all I want to thank you for your entry in my Stroll Down Memory Lane contest.
Now on to your review ~
You have followed the prompt that you chose for your story in a very imaginative way!
This is an awesome write about a paranormal camera that takes pictures not only of the past but of things that happened to the narrator of this story as well.
I was hooked right from the beginning with the first three words! I can't say enough about how I enjoyed this fantastic story.
My only suggestion would be to use parenthesis here on the sentence that is said outloud- This is impossible! I said out loud, falling to my knees on the hard marble.
I loved everything about this.
My overall impression is one of an intelligent, fascinating, and clever write that kept me spellbound all the way to the end.
Hello Meg,
It's great to be back in your port again today. Upon going through some of your newer poems I ran across this one to review for you.
This is a wonderful poem depicting the rainfall that you have received over such a long period.
Your descriptions of the land and the overflowing rivers are filled with your touch of 'showing' that you do so well.
This verse flows freely with plenty of rhymes.
I saw no errors here.
My favorite part being - The rivers which have burst their banks have carried with the tide
the creatures who once called the creeks their home.
There are crocodiles and fish swimming down the road outside,
They've found a whole new territory to roam.
I love how you've added the creatures that you see in the flooded roadways here!
My overall impression is one of another fantastic write from one of our most beloved poets here on WDC.
First of all I would like to thank you for your entry into my Stroll Down Memory Lane contest.
Now on to your review ~
I loved this poem that depicts the nurse as an angel in white! This is a fine tribute to all the hard work and importance of not just one nurse, but all who choose nursing as their profession.
You have followed the prompt you chose very nicely here. The added prompt photo gives a good visual glimpse into the charge of the nurse at her patient's bedside.
Your verse flows freely and your rhymes are significant and force free.
My favorite part being - A nurse is surely an angel in white,
watching and caring, bringing the light
to the sick and the dying, the old and young,
who are there when needed, a song to be sung.
I see no errors.
My overall impression is one of a heartwarming poem that pays tribute to the nurses everywhere.
You are an aspiring poet as this write has proved you to be.
I enjoyed the imagery in this that takes the reader to the battlefield along with the men that fought there.
I see no errors.
My overall impression is that this is an exceptional write with emphasis on the importance of the Union Soldiers of African
decent. Your footnote adds to that emphasis.
This is a well written article about medical incompetence in the military and the medical profession in general.
I found this to be, not only interesting, but informative as well. You have done a thorough job stating your opinion on the matter of tort reform.
I see no errors here.
My overall impression is one of an exceptional write that leaves the reader with much to think about.
First of all I want to thank you for entering my Stroll Down Memory Lane contest.
Now on to your review ~
This is a monumental tribute to the women who have served and are now serving their country. You have done an outstanding job honoring the women who have sacrificed their home life to stand behind their country in the name of freedom.
Rhymes are perfect. The flow is wonderfully smooth.
Your descriptions of the roles of women in war are most vivid and thorough. I like how you even added humor here - Basic training was a hoot, for we learned to march
and some of us have ended up with a fallen arch -
No gun training, no gas chamber for us back then,
we were WOMEN, "couldn't keep up with men".
You have followed the prompt you chose here perfectly. Using the prompt picture and text color, you have boosted your imagery and added to the appearance of your poem.
I see no errors here.
My overall impression is one of a fantastic write.
This is the first of three reviews in your winning package won in Short Timer Auction.
I enjoyed this appealing poem that grabs the reader's attention in the first two lines here.
Your choice of words adds to the urgency of the message here - Only an hour longer,
Only a moment more
To live this life
Like no tomorrow
There is so much said in this rather short poem.
You have wrapped it up nicely though with your last stanza - Time is at an end,
Lets all stand still
And gather around
To remember
The good times we had.
Well said.
My overall impression is you have conveyed an urgent message of love and life, and left the reader with the sense of knowing that life is so short.
I see no errors here.
Write on.
ShiShad
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What I like about this poem is it's sheer romantic beauty!
I don't think it is necessary to put the question mark after Beyond the daily cares?