First of all I would like to thank you for entering my Stroll Down Memory Lane contest.
Now on to your review ~
What I Liked/Didn't Like
I like that you began and ended your poem with the same three words; and that you also followed the prompt you chose, so nicely.
There is nothing about your write that I did not like.
Theme/Form
You've chosen a theme of children's work at playing. It is played out well throughout your choice of sonnet form for your piece.
Grammar/Spelling
I see no errors in either grammar or spelling.
Favorite Part
My favorite part being - When children play they’re busy in their work,
It’s hard to say what is more important.
They play seriously, never do shirk.
Their play, of their work, is reminiscent.
This stanza clearly states the importance of the child's play and how it can be defined as work also.
Overall Impression
A good write about children's play.
Good luck in the contest.
Write on.
Shishad
First of all I would like to thank you for your entry in my Stroll Down Memory Lane contest.
Now on to your review~
WHAT I LIKED/ DIDN'T LIKE
Wow! What fun it was to read this fantastic rhyme! I loved everything about it.
THEME
You've done a super job keeping with the Batman and Robin theme and followed the prompt you chose extremely well.
GRAMMER/SPELLING
I see no errors in either grammar or spelling.
FAVORITE PART
My favorite part being: “Geeze! Holy Hissing! What was that?
Well Holy Leak! We’ve got a flat!
We need to pause and change the spare
And make a speedy bat-repair.”
OVERALL IMPRESSION
A great write following a prompt. Well constructed and certainly very entertaining.
You didn't just step up to the plate...you went way out of the park with this one!
You've created a spellbinding story for children, and adults will enjoy it too.
I don't see any errors.
My favorite part has got to be:“I don’t want it!” yelled Mirabelle, shaking her head from side to side and kicking her feet. The dog ears on her slippers made a slapping sound each time they hit Daddy’s leg.
Overall a wonderful children's story.
Write on.
ShiShad
This folder is filled with wonderful verses offering your personal view of Ireland, what Ireland means to you and what you discovered about yourself while visiting there.
I have nothing to say that would make it a better folder.
I loved everything I read here and only wish that you write more about your lovely Ireland. ShiShad
There really aren't any words that can express what an effect this poem has had on me.
The best way that I can describe it is: The goosebumps are still running up and down my back, neck and arms, and as I sit here pondering over all that I just read I'm thinking: Shouldn't this be in a History book one day?
Hi Joy,
I am reviewing this for you as part of the Simply Positive Group.
I enjoyed this short story about mystery and crime in a motel chain in Florida.
You've done a great job here with describing your characters and your settings.
I like how you led the reader to believe that a murder had been committed during your main character's motel stay. Only to find out the plot takes a twist at the end!
Hi Cissy,
I am reviewing this for you today as part of the Simply Positive Group.
So happy to see one of your writings among those chosen to be reviewed this week!
I liked this short story on abuse as seen through your eyes only.
My only suggestions would be for you to give a little more detail about your abuse and/ or abuser. I somehow feel that that would be too painful for you to do.
However, it may be just what needs to be done in order for you to be able to live your life more freely.
Thank you for sharing your well written heartbreaking story. I know how hard it is to write about the loss of a child.
I too lost a son but he had lived is life into manhood before fate took him away.
I too carried the guilt and resentment toward God for allowing it to happen. I felt as if God was punishing me and worse yet that I deserved that kind of punishment.
God was not punishing me, however. Neither is he punishing you. He is a God of Love and He knows what it means to lose a Son. He simply calls those home when he chooses.
You must believe this and free yourself from any undue guilt. You will never get over the loss of your son, but you will have a burden lifted from your shoulders when you
give up the guilt.
First of all I would like to thank you for your entry in the STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE contest.
~ Now on to your review.
What I Liked/Didn't Like
I really liked this story about the years of the S&H Green Stamps and how they helped family members redeem their treasures.
I like that you followed the prompt here and kept it as the focus of your storyline.
I like that you have used the same three words to start and end your story with.
There is nothing about this story that I did not like.
Characters
You've chosen strong characters to play out your storyline here. The description of Aunt Ida enabled the reader to practically see her face turning 'red'!
Plot/Setting
Well done.
Grammar/Spelling
I see no errors in grammar here.
I did see a few typo's in spelling- merchandize - merchandise poring over - pouring over. this time I choose - This time I chose.
Overall Impression
A very good write that held my interest from start to finish.
I'm reviewing this for The Rising Stars Member To Member Reviews.
This wonderful folder needs a rating in your portfolio. So here's a rating with a review.
The poems in this folder reflect the author's capability of putting out positive thoughts for the reader to leave here with in spite of any pain found within.
What I like most is the Upbeat Path that the reader is journeying on here in these poems.
Thanks for sharing a great folder.
Write on.
Shishad
First of all I want to thank you for your entry in the Stroll Down Memory Lane Contest.
Now on to your review ~
What I Liked/Didn't Like - I really liked this story about a young woman's love of trains that begins in her childhood and takes us with her into adulthood.
I like that you followed the prompt so creatively and began and ended your story with the same three words.
There is nothing about this story that I did not like.
Characters/Plot/Setting - You've used strong characters that serve the plot centering around your love of trains and your descriptions of each are thoroughly inviting. You've done a fine job on describing the train yard, the different cars of the train, and people who work in and operate them.
Grammar/Spelling - I saw only one error here- he lifted he(should be me) up so that I could see inside
Overall Impression - A very good adventurous write.
My favorite lines being:Now we walk the shore feel the sand beneath our toes
Misty surf on suntanned face smiling back at me
In trust we found our way to turn back the tide of time
Hold on tight and ride the wind and learn to love again
I like how the verse presents a lighthearted free spirit. Especially the last line of this verse.
The only suggestions I have are - did you mean Chorus instead of Churus and rendezvous instead of rondevous?
This is wonderfully written song about not giving up on love in our lifetime.
Great write.
Write on.
ShiShad
First off I would like to thank you for your entry in my contest Stroll Down Memory Lane.
Now on with your review ~
What I Liked/Didn't Like
I like how you followed the prompt and kept it as your focus throughout your whole storyline.
I like that you were able to tell your story from experience and reflect very effectively the great emotional stress that you were under at the time.
What I didn't like was your use of fragmented sentences. Example- It is sturdy as in dependable, and has nice cute looking silver wheels, caught his fancy at once.
Also here- Made similar arrangements for the journey by bus to the top of hills.
You might try rewriting these as - It's sturdiness and dependability; including the fact that it had cute looking silver wheels, caught his fancy at once.
Similar arrangements were made for the journey by bus to the top of hills.
Do you see how that would improve your writing?
Characters/Plot/Setting
You have managed to describe your characters and make them believable in your story. The plot centers around the mustard colored car and is interesting as it unfolds throughout. The setting is readily vivid in the readers mind.
Grammer/Spelling
Just what I have pointed out in sentence structure above. You may also want to edit this sentence- so did the little toy car remained with us.
Try using remain instead of remained.
Overall Impression
A good write that conforms to the contest rules and takes the reader back in time.
I see the potential here to make it an even better write if you work on your sentence structure.
First of all, I want to thank you for your entry in the Stroll Down Memory Lane contest.
Now on to your review~
What I liked/Didn't Like
I just loved this heartfelt trip down memory lane with the Klingman Gang!
You've created a masterpiece following the prompt you've chosen here.
This is an endearing tribute to a grandfather. It is a well written story that weaves a meaningful tale of six young boys around and in an old 1927 model A, and the barn that houses it.
Characters/Plot/Setting
You have brought your characters to life and played them out nicely through the time periods of your storyline.
You've painted a clear vision of the boys, the barn and "Tula The Time Machine".
Grammer/Spelling
I think I saw one typo- a period missing at the end of The Wonder Years.
Overall Impression
A captivating write that grabbed my attention from start to finish.
Exceptional.
Write on!
I am reviewing this poem for you because I found it on the Read A Newbie page.
What I liked about this is it's tenderness and simplicity. You've managed to write a sweet romantic verse without all of the "drippings " of a ballad here!
My favorite part being:
If today were tomorrow under sand
And nothing survives across the land
I would hold happiness in my hand
For I am fed by you
Simply beautiful.
The only error I can see here is in line thirteen- (it s) should be (it's)
Only suggestion I have is to use punctuation to make it a better write.
Write on.
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What I Liked/Didn't Like 
I like that you began and ended your poem with the same three words; and that you also followed the prompt you chose, so nicely.
Wow! What fun it was to read this fantastic rhyme! I loved everything about it.
This wonderful folder needs a rating in your portfolio. So here's a rating with a review.
What I Liked/Didn't Like - I really liked this story about a young woman's love of trains that begins in her childhood and takes us with her into adulthood.
What I didn't like was your use of fragmented sentences. Example- It is sturdy as in dependable, and has nice cute looking silver wheels, caught his fancy at once.
You have managed to describe your characters and make them believable in your story. The plot centers around the mustard colored car and is interesting as it unfolds throughout. The setting is readily vivid in the readers mind.
I am reviewing this poem for you because I found it on the Read A Newbie page.