Wonderful piece you have here! I enjoyed the story you told and felt the anticipation growing with the crowd. I really liked the repetition of "As though it ended before it began." throughout the poem. By the fourth stanza I anticipated the line as your crowd anticipates the fireworks.
You painted a really interesting picture here! Your voice is so unique. I love how quickly the story shifted from realism, to slightly unusual, to overwhelmingly strange. The last two sections got my heart racing with anticipation and the ending left me bewildered!
Great job! Write on hun!
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