Overall I enjoyed the story. I found it engaging from the beginning and an enjoyable read to the end. You also presented the characters in a manner that gave the reader a clear sense of their personalities very quickly. The subtle description of the characters throughout the writing also guided the reader into imagining what the characters look like without boring them with a long descriptive paragraph. Perhaps an area of improvement could be providing some location descriptions in a similar manner. This may help set the time period within the reader's mind, as well as giving them more to imagine. You have made fantastic use of the five senses within your writing which also makes the read far more interesting!
Keep up the great work. The first chapter looks great.
Wow! That was impressive. You are a talented writer. I love your close view into Ghufran's thoughts. The opening line could be a bit stronger. Maybe move the line "What had he said his name was? Joseph? Jacob?" into the next paragraph... I think the first sentence of the next paragraph would be a stronger opening.
Keep up the excellent work! I would love to read more from this story (I want to know what happens next...if anything) :D
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