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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/silverwindrose
Review Requests: ON
141 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I give a basic review as I am still working on learning how to review.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Bye, Dad  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hats off to you and your father. what little time the two of you had left it shows that you made the best of it as you could. you bring back the first and last memories I have of my son's grandmother. She was a great lady with a beautiful soul. But I can say I wish I had the chance to be able to spend more time with her as you did your father.

Thank you for sharing this amazing piece may it bring you comfort when the emotions a deep.

Hugs,
Silverwindrose
Dragon Minstrel


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2
2
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
OH! Tell me more!

With that said this is an interesting start. I can just imagine the endless possibilities for a hotel like this. The main character seems to have a good understanding of the hotel and I would love to see what has come to liven up their day. The other fun thing with this piece is that you have a chance to place it in any world or realm that you want it in for though descriptive you never blocked the possibilities of it containing or having different species visiting or living there.

Silverwindrose
Dragon Minstrel



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3
3
Review of Bedtime  
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Sorry about how long it took me to respond to your request.

An interesting piece I found intriguing I like the way you have the mix of base characters balanced and thought out. The triples where a great way to move the story along. So far I have enjoyed reading what you have. I did not notice any grammar, as spelling errors on my first read through. The only thing I might suggest is to let the reader know the name of the main character a bit sooner. Though all in all great story I like the way you are building layers on to the story as you go.

Silverwindrose
Dragon Mistral


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4
4
Review of Wyvern  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a wonderful piece I would love to read more about this pair as they grow. I normally ready dragon pieces but for some reason this piece caught my attention and i am happy to say it brought me great pleasure to read.

At this time I fine no grammar or spelling issues.

Thank you for writing this fun piece. I do hope in the future there will be more about this pair they have so much possible in their future.

Silverwindrose - Dragon Minstrel


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5
5
Review of MWA  
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
So far, a very interesting piece. the chattering banter between the announcers is very similar to what one might hear at most sporting events. The introductions of each individual has caught my attention. I might add in the actual individual traveling to the ring to show the difference of how the announcers see them compared to how they are feeling and or the crowds reaction to the wrestlers.


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6
6
Review of Meet the Parents  
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
An interesting piece to say the least. Though hard to read at first for me because I kept trying to read it in just one tone.
I might bold the name of the one talking then put in a - indicating who was talking.

Greg - Hello!

Once I was able to figure out the differences this seams like something I would be interested in watching one day.

Thank you for the opportunity to read this piece. It can stand by its self but does much better when read after at lest one of the other pieces before it.


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7
7
Review of Judgement Day  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Dear Khrazzi

Welcome to WDC. I found this "Judgement Day in your portfolio I am reviewing it as a student of the " The Rockin' Review Academy . Please know these are just my thoughts and observations on your piece, and you may take what you find useful and disregard the rest. As I review this piece I will be using Microsoft Word in American-English.

I found this dream story has great potential and would like to share my thoughts about it with you.

*Leaf* What I liked:
I liked this part very exciting hooking me through out the whole story. I was sitting in my third period Jrotc class. it seemed just like any other normal day. Until their was a loud scream coming from outside the classroom. It then suddenly got really quiet to where the whole classroom knew something was wrong. Then a couple of seconds passed by and you could hear a really loud propellor coming over the school. It was shaking the whole classroom. Suddenly you could hear another loud noise which was the engine giving out. The lines I have highlighted really caught my attention. Yes, there are things that need to be corrected but the over all meaning of these things are what held me to this story.

*Leaf* Favorite Lines:
These lines stood out to me for the way you described them: The moon was Blood red, and the sky was Blackish Auburn due to the meteors falling from the sky. I could imagine seeing the sky you described in this sentence I would have love to see more descriptions like it for it is a great show and not tell line. What do I mean? Well the line I highlighted let me see in my mind the color of the moon and sky. While, the line just in front of it is a telling line for it tells me the sky is like midnight but leaves me guessing into how it is like midnight.

*Leaf* Character/s:
I liked the way you used this point of view in first person it worked well in this piece. I was able to feel as if it was I that was having this dream. At the end I did wonder, why the children where running from the Sargents in charge of the class?

*Leaf* Plot Structure/Development:
The plot was an interesting one starting with sitting in class when you could hear the engine of a plane overhead give out then there was a loud noise of the plane crashing into the building. The fallow up is where you help look for survivors and end up finding much more including those both lucky enough to come out unharmed, the unlucky ones with limbs twisted and broken and others no longer breathing. Once the survivors had been gathered together outside in the field. They found that together they might not survive do to meteors hurling down from the sky. One of the sargents had managed to get canteens filled with water passed out before the children ran off scared and for cover, while others just ran, and some went looking for family.

*Leaf* Descriptions:
I would have love to had more descriptions of what things looked like. The best line I could find was: The moon was Blood red, and the sky was Blackish Auburn due to the meteors falling from the sky. I could see the way the sky was colored and what color the moon was by just reading this line.

*Leaf* Grammar/Spelling:
I have to say I did find many things in need of help in this piece. I will point a few of the things in need of corrections out it is your choice on how you use my suggestions and ideas. I do use Microsoft Word with American-English when I am going over to see what is in need of corrections.

I was sitting in my third period Jrotc JROTC class. (The reason I pointed this out is that it is that JROTC is an acronym and there fore caries the right to be capitalized any time it is used in a sentence.)

it It seemed just like any other normal day. (please do not forget to use a capital letter at the start of a sentence.)

Until their there was a loud scream coming from outside the classroom. (I know how hard this one is. I to have a habit of using the word that sounds right when I but when I go back over the piece I will find that I did use the right sound but the wrong spelling for the spot. In this line you used the word their when you needed the word there. The word their is used as a possessive determiner (followed by a noun), being a possessive form of they. The word in need is there can be used in the following ways:
as a pronoun (to introduce the subject of the sentence): There's a spider in the bath.
as an adverb: Wait there until I get back.
as an interjection: There, that didn't hurt so much, did it?)

I was traumatized with fear. (Passive Voice - For a livelier and more persuasive sentence, consider rewriting your sentence using an active verb (the subject performs the action, as in "The ball hit Catherine") rather than a passive verb (the subject receives the action, as in "Catherine was hit by the ball"). If you rewrite with an active verb, consider what the appropriate subject is - "they," "we," or a more specific noun or pronoun.) I would suggest a revised sentence like this: Fear traumatized me.

I could feel the heat against my face, as the meteors were being slammed into the fields nearby. (This is a passive sentence. If we look at the highlighted words we find that they are not really needed in your sentence, when removed they turn the sentence into an active sentence.)

*Leaf* Comments/Suggestions:
I love the idea you have here with this dream story and see real potential in it that is why I have been hard on your story. I feel that even with how new to the site you are you as a writer have great ability to put your dreams and imagination down in words. I give to you an offer to go back over this piece in better detail after you have had a chance to edit this.


Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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8
8
Review of Revolutionary  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Dear * §apph *

I am reviewing your "Revolutionary as a student of the " The Rockin' Review Academy . Please know these are just my thoughts and observations on your piece, and you may take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

*Leaf* What I liked:
I liked what you have brought to light with this story. The ideas and spreading of those ideas are and have been proven to be a work in progress. What you have brought out is what I really enjoyed the emotions of a single person sharing there thoughts and beliefs with others and more.


*Leaf* Favorite Lines:
My favorite lines of this piece is:
My goal was always to tell as many people my thoughts as possible and see if it would spread to the masses. I wanted to get them riled up, make them think about the state of the world, make them see that change needed to happen. One day in the middle of April started the process I had always dreamed about.
These line had me hooked from the start of the whole piece.

The next part that caught my attention was:
This one day in the middle of April, she told me why she had taken such an interest in me.
She was a professor of philosophy at one of the local art schools in San Francisco. Maggie explained that she keeps an eye open for individuals with ideas that have the potential for change. I was invited to speak to her classes the following week, which of course I accepted to do in an effort to have my philosophy heard.

This was even more interesting and I was wanting to read more when I read this.

As the lights fade before my eyes, one last thought passes through my mind: I did say I was willing to do whatever was necessary…
This closing line really got me to thinking; Have I done what I can do?


*Leaf* Character/s:
I found that the way this piece was written, it was as if I was the one telling the story. From the start of a humble hairdresser and through learning to trust in ones ability to speak in front of others about personal beliefs and feelings was real growth.


*Leaf* Plot Structure/Development:
The way this story was written I found really supported the development of the plot and did not slide off course. There was a nice stable climb to the apex of this story that in its own way came crashing down with the fear of change.


*Leaf* Descriptions:
The descriptions of how the narrator is feeling towards each of the up coming speeches was interesting.


*Leaf* Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
Here is a few lines I found that sounded like being in a passive voice.
The human race needed to create a significant change in the world for the better, for those who are misfortunate, downtrodden, dismayed, unappreciated, or were never given a chance.
The human race needed to create a significant change in the world for the better, for those who are misfortunate, downtrodden, dismayed, unappreciated, or never given a chance.

I was invited to speak to her classes the following week, which of course I accepted to do in an effort to have my philosophy heard.
She invited me to speak to her classes the following week, which of course I accepted to do in an effort to have my philosophy heard.

In school we were taught to aim big, set goals that seem impossible in the hopes of reaching ever higher.
In school, we learn to aim big, set goals that seem impossible in the hopes of reaching ever higher.

I want to show future generations that they can do whatever they put their mind to without being held back by other people for their own selfish gains.
I want to show future generations that they can do whatever they put their mind to without other people holding them back for their own selfish gains.

Some of the students took my ideas to heart and created stunning art that was spread using social media.
Some of the students took my ideas to heart and created stunning art that spread using social media.

All of the seats were filled and there were even some people standing in the back.
All of the seats filled and there were even some people standing in the back.

I was asked to do an interview for the local paper, some social justice blogs online, and even one of the radio stations in the city.
The local paper asked me to do an interview, some social justice blogs online, and even one of the radio stations in the city.

I ended my presentation the same way I had every other time it had been given: “I am willing to do what is necessary to achieve this level of society.
I ended my presentation the same way I had every other time: “I am willing to do what is necessary to achieve this level of society.

I waved and began descending the stairs with a genuine smile on my face at the fact that I had been given the opportunity to impart my ideas on so many accepting people.
I waved and began descending the stairs with a genuine smile on my face at the fact that I had the opportunity to impart my ideas on so many accepting people.

Maybe in death I will finally be known as the revolutionary I so desperately wanted to be in life.
Maybe in death, I will finally be the revolutionary I so desperately wanted to be in life.

I found a few places I think commas or semicolon might help the flow out with:
At any given time you time, you could find half-empty water bottles and condom wrappers among the articles of clothing.

I wanted to get them riled up, make them think about the state of the world, make world; make them see that change needed to happen.

I never expected this to happen, I happen; I just wanted to change the world for the better.


*Leaf* Comments/Suggestions:
Thank you for suggesting I read and review this story. It makes me want to explore more of your work.


Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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9
9
Review of Lento Poem  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear Cherokee Rose

I am reviewing your "Lento Poem as a student of the " The Rockin' Review Academy . Please know these are just my thoughts and observations on your piece, and you may take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

*Leaf* What I liked:
A what a fun Lento poem You have written Your poem brings me I to the warmth and wonder of Grandma's Garden. I loved watching the garden grow through your words till harvest time. Then enjoying the way you closed this great piece.


*Leaf* Favorite Lines:
Oh what can I say I loved the whole piece. The lines that talked to me the most where,
Watching leaves unfurl in springtime
Feeding hungry roots below

These great lines bring me straight in to your piece and put a feeling of need for summer in me.


*Leaf* Punctuation/Spelling:
I like the way you used the rhyming scheme a-b-c-b d-e-f-e.
This scheme really worked well in this poem.
I did not find any misspelled words or grammar errors in this piece.


*Leaf* Comments/Suggestions:
I really enjoyed reading this piece of Lento and seeing were it could and did take me. Your wording was clear and well written and I was unable to find any problems. I would love to read more of your work. I encourage you to write as can for your word really do inspire.


Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your portfolio.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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10
10
Review of I'm so scared!  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear sparkyvacdr

I am reviewing your "I'm so scared! as a fellow student of the " The Rockin' Review Academy . Please know these are just my thoughts and observations on your piece, and you may take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

*Leaf* What I liked:
I found that what you wrote is a lot more believable than your piece says. I could feel the closeness you has with the old lady just for the number of times you had been there. The need to help others is what ended up bringing you to care even more when she truly need your help. She was so lucky to have you there so she could have a chance to say good-bye to her friends and family.



*Leaf* Favorite Lines:
I have to say the lines that speak to me the most is But something seemed to automatically engage in my being, because I found myself springing into a coldly efficient action. I was no longer just a vacuum cleaner fix-it man, but a human helping another human in their time of dire need.

Why do I like this line the most for I can feel what you meant just in these few simple words. It brought the scene to life for me.



*Leaf* Punctuation/Spelling:
I hope to help you out with this great story. I found a few misspelled words in your piece. I hope this helps out.
the benevolent Mr. Vacuum
as we travelled traveled
then the colour color pallet
the funeral parlour parlor and
They didn't realise realizethat
of warm and cosy cozy superhero.


I did find several run-on-sentences that gave me a little bit of trouble reading.
This story is in no way meant to be some sort of manual to carry out this procedure, and any steps I took were scraped from a shocking memory and outdated training; it must have been at least five or six years since my wife and I had self consciously took turns to blow into the plastic mouth of a training "dummy".

I might break this sentence down something like this.
This story is in no way meant to be some sort of manual to carry out this procedure. The steps I took were scraped from a shocking memory and outdated training. It must have been at least five or six years since my wife and I had self-consciously took turns to blow into the plastic mouth of a training "dummy".



*Leaf* Comments/Suggestions:
I really enjoyed the way you wrote this from memory. I would like to encourage you to continue writing. The way you write brings to me the feelings that you have felt.

I do suggest finding an other word to work with the word But. Now I do have to say there are times that I get stuck using but. I to have been working on it.

Other than that I really enjoyed reading your writing and seeing where you take me.



Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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11
11
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"The Dark Side Of The Moon

What an interesting piece. The way the man in the moon hunts the wolf on the dark side of the moon. I see in the beginning where the wolf appears to be the evil one of darkness and the man the good one of light. But the I ask is this true as the poem goes. In the end it seam as if the man in the light of the moon just might be the evil one for killing the wolf on the dark of the moon coloring the moon orange at times.

I did not find any spelling, grammar, or technical problems.

My favorite part is,
The is moon bright, or is dark.
Thy shall not know till he himself has perished.


Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

Proud member of"The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society
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12
12
Review of Dustoff Toad  
In affiliation with The Sisterhood of Mom's  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for writing this piece. I found this piece thanks to Random Review.
"Dustoff Toad

What an interesting piece in a way it brings to me an old saying only a face a mother could love. What do I mean? Well your toad was every so ugly, but when you got to looking at it up close you could see something that caught your attention. Then you took a step back and even with that thing that caught your attention you could still see what made you call the toad ugly in the first place.

This piece brought a smile to me do to how simple it was while being informative about the toad.

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

Proud member of"The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society
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13
13
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"The Soul and its Physical Form

This piece is an interesting piece for the way you put together different souls. The way they might work together find the way to fulfill different aspects of experiences through rebirth.

here is a break down of suggested corrections I found helpful when reading this piece.
(Red is my suggested corrections. _ = space)
Feel free to take what you want from my ideas.

In the abstract world of the esoteric,souls are planning their rebirthing into the physical world._In the formless body of the creator,_individual pieces_(Souls) of the creator meet with the other Souls to plan out their new lives,_the circumstances of their births,_whatever they want to experience in this lifetime,_and the time,_place and circumstances of their death._The body is a vehicle for the soul to experience physical life.
S
omeone has said that if you surrender completely to the moments as they pass,_you live more richly those moments.
The man can not live without enduring faith in something Godlike in him.


I hope this is helpful.

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work. Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

Proud member of"The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society
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14
14
In affiliation with The Sisterhood of Mom's  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"A Valentine's Day Treat

This piece is so cute. I could see my guys doing just this same thing.

I could not find any thing wrong with this piece.

The whole piece works as one piece and well "I love it!"

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

Proud member of"The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society
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15
15
Review of A Promise Broken  
In affiliation with The Sisterhood of Mom's  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"A Promise Broken

This piece is full of emotions all of hurt and lost. I was able to feel these emotions very easily.

I liked the way you worded this piece.

I did not find any problems with how this piece was written.

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

Proud member of"The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society
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16
16
Review of A Love Poem  
In affiliation with The Sisterhood of Mom's  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"A Love Poem

This piece bring s tear to my eye. Why? Because of how cleanly you wrote this piece and pure the emotions are that it opens up for me.

I did not find any problems with this piece, instead I could only find the joy in reading it.

I loved reading this piece it brought out many great feelings. Thank you.

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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17
17
Review of Your Night  
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"Your Night

What an interesting piece this is. Makes one want to run and hide, while bringing out the point of that there is no place to hide. What do the shadows hold for you? What might might be out there stalking you? One will never know, till you become one of them.

I find no problems with this piece and it brings out the spookiness and horror quit well.

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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18
18
Review of Mental Salvation  
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"Invalid Item

This piece is an interesting piece. I understand where you are coming from with this piece.

I find no grammar or spelling problems.

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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19
19
Review of The Egg  
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
" The Egg

This piece is a very interesting turn of events here. I enjoyed the way you took the story from the boy and made it the dragon's.

I found no problems how you wrote this piece.

My favorite part is, " Jack and his grandpa stood and watched in shock.Then the egg cracked open the rest of the way and out popped a Red Sea Dragon. "

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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20
20
Review of Ager Mortis  
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"Ager Mortis

This piece is interesting in the way you use opposites. I can see how just about anything is possible. with the way you wrote this.

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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21
21
Review of Worthless  
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"Worthless

This piece is an interesting piece. The way you worked the title into the the piece does work well here. I do not find any problems with this piece. It is fun to read.

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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22
22
Review of Brotherhood  
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"Brotherhood

This piece has a great story line. I enjoyed the way Venn was determined to put a stop to the magics that held winter over the land.

I did not find any thing wrong with how you wrote this piece.

I am a dragon lover and was sad that they hunted the dragons but the way you wrote this story I understood why they did.

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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23
23
Review of Coca-Cola  
In affiliation with The Sisterhood of Mom's  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
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This piece is an interesting piece. I find some of what yo say is true, though personally I do not see coke-cola as a gateway for I do drink it and do not do any other type of drug as you clam in your piece.

I find no grammar or spelling problems in this piece.

Though I do not agree with what you have to say. You have written a great fighting reason against what I think.
Do to how you have written this piece it makes me want to explore more of your work.

Thank you for writing this piece.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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24
24
Review of Unicorn Candyland  
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"Unicorn Candyland

This piece is a fun read. I so wish I was Isha and could visit unicorn candyland.

I could not find any thing wrong with how you wrote this piece.

My favorite line is, 'I stepped onto the grass and I almost fainted.' This one line for me was the hook that held me tthis piece.

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

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25
25
In affiliation with The Sisterhood of Mom's  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for writing this piece.
"How to Write a Query Letter

Wow! What a piece. There is so much more than I realized to do to write a letter of query. Before reading this I would have made so many mistakes I would have been sure to be in the reject pile almost before my letter was opened.

I found the whole piece very informative and helpful. There is much I did not know before reading this piece.

I am interested in putting your piece on my group page with your permission.
"Invalid Item

Thank you for writing this piece. It makes me want to explore more of your work.
Feel free to check out my portfolio.

Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel

You are being reviewed by
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This group is for bringing help to those with writing problems.
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If yes feel free to check this group out.
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