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1,230 Public Reviews Given
2,213 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I used a template for all of my reviews. I will comment on plot, characters, scene/setting, grammar, and anything else that comes to mind.
I'm good at...
short stories, novels, and blog
Favorite Genres
dark fantasy and horror However, I will read anything that is similar to a VC Andrews story. I also like any books about cooking.
Least Favorite Genres
romance, comedy, mystery, science fiction
Favorite Item Types
short stories, novels, blogs, anything about cooking
Least Favorite Item Types
poetry, campfires
I will not review...
Romance, action-adventure, mysteries/thiller, science fiction
Public Reviews
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126
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army and WDC Frontliners.

This is an interesting piece of flash fiction about losing one's memory. To me, it also portrays very well how little we all know about the people in our lives. The only suggestion I have one minor suggestion for this story, and that's to eliminate the adverbs to tighten up the writing. Thanks for sharing and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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127
127
Review of Dark Vows  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, WDC Frontliners, and this is 3/39 reviews that I owe you.

I loved the imagery and flow of this poem. You do a good job writing an erotic piece tastefully. This poem made me think of a vampire turning someone into a vampire toward the end. Thanks for sharing and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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128
128
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Helping Hearts, and WDC Frontlienrs.

I believe this story has some potiential, but it needs some work. Here are some suggestions I have on improving it.

1. Watch for author intursion. This is telling instead of showing. Try changing some of it to the characters internal thoughts and put it in italics.
2. Watch for info dumps. Make sure it's neccessary for the progression of the plot.
3. Eliminate all adverbs.
4. Use other words for look.
5. I kind of got lost between the shifts between the main characters time with Nula and the meeting with the old man. You may want to smooth out the transition, so readers won't get bored or confused.

I hope this helps. If you decide to make changes, let me know and I will be more than happy to re-rate and review.

Sister of Mercy

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129
129
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Helping Hearts, and WDC Frontliners.

Good Points
1. This chapter was better than the other two.
2. I liked the chemisty between B and Delcan.
3. Your descriptions were good too.

Suggestions
1. Watch your use of question marks. (There were not as many of these mistakes in this chapter)
2. Eliminate all adverbs.
3. Write out all numbers under one hundred. (This only occurred once or twice.)
4. Use other words for look and notice.

I hope this review helps!

Sister of Mercy

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130
130
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Showering Acts of Joy, and WDC Frontliners.

This story has a lot of potential as a coming of age story. It needs some work though. Here are some suggestions on how to make it better.

1. Eliminate the adverbs in the narrative.
2. Some of the dialogue tags are not neccessary. Just show the action instead.
3. Watch for author intursion.
4. Elminate info dumps. See if everything is neccessary to the story.
5. The narrative is a little stilted too. Using contractions will eliminate this.

I hope this helps. If you decide to make changes, let me know and I will be more than happy to rate and review this story again.

Thanks for sharing and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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131
131
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Showering Acts of Joy, and WDC Frontliners.

This is a very emotional and heartfelt poem. I could feel the love, hate and passion while reading this piece. The flow of this poem is good, and I liked the fact that you gave an answer to the question at the end. Thanks for sharing and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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132
132
Review of FOLLOW ME  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Showering Acts of Joy, WDC Frontliners, and this is 3/5 reviews that I owe you.

I loved this whimsical fantasy poem. The imagery and flow were great. You should expand this to a children's story perhaps. The sigs frame the poem quite nicely too.
Thanks for sharing and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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133
133
Review of Missing You  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army and WDC Frontliners.

This is a lovely poem about missing one's love. The imagery in this piece is beautiful. You do a good job with repetition too. The only suggestion I have is to make the last stanza a refrain throughout the poem. Just play with this idea and see what you think of it. Just a suggestion.

Thanks for sharing this and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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134
134
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army and WDC Frontliners.

I have never given a thought to this topic, but you do bring up interesting questions that have never been answered about vampires. A vamp named Gator or Bubba would make an interesting vamp indeed. I had a great time reading this piece. Thanks for sharing this and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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135
135
Review of Dark Music  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, WDC Frontliners, and this is 2/39 reviews that I owe you.

You do a good job with imagery and repetition in this piece. I really liked the flow of this poem too. This poem made me think of two minor characters (a lady vampire and her human lover who betrayed her) on the show True Blood. Thanks for sharing and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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136
136
Review of PLAYGROUND  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Showering Acts of Joy, WDC Frontliners, and this is 2/5 reviews I owe you.

This Fantasy poem is full of beautiful imagery that makes it come alive, and provides an escape for the reader. The rhyming is good, but you do vary just a little in the last two lines of the first stanza (fantasy and be). It's a near rhyme, so it's not really a problem. I love the sigs that you use to frame this poem too. Thanks for sharing this and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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137
137
Review of Southern Woods  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm reviewing today courtesy of The Angel Army, WDC Frontliners, and because you gave me a review.

Reading this poem brought back memories of being a child out in the country and being around a lot of trees. I liked the metaphors you used throughout the poem, and that you formed the poem into a tree. Thanks for sharing this and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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138
138
Review of The Chanters  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Arm, WDC Frontliners, and because you have reviewed me.

This poem hit home with me in a way, so I had to read it. The rhyme is perfect. The imagery in the first stanza is great, and the last stanza is my favorite. Thanks for sharing this and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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139
139
Review of Win or Lose?  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Showering Acts of Joy, and WDC Frontliners.

You do a very good job telling the story within this poem. The imagery is great, and the subtle use of allteration is good. The next to the last stanza was my favorite because it seemed to express the emotions intended the best. Thanks for sharing this and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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140
140
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Helping Hearts, and WDC Frontliners.

Your beginning provided a good hook to keep the reader interested, and the ending was interesting to satisfy the reader. You did a good job with description with the few words that you were aloud to use also. Thanks for sharing this and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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141
141
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Helping Hearts, and WDC Frontliners.

Good Points
1. I really love your main character B.
2. The descriptions are much better in this chapter.
3. The ending was great. A good hook that will make a reader want to read more.


Suggestions
1. Place all internal thoughts in italics.
2. Watch your use of question marks.
3. Cut all adverbs.
4. Edit for commas around coordinating conjunctions.
5. Do not start a sentence with then.
6. Some of your dialogue tags are not needed because it's obvious what's being said. It's better just to show the action.
7. Try using other words for look/looked.


I hope this review helps.

Sister of Mercy

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142
142
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Showering Acts of Joy, and WDC Frontliners.

I liked the descriptions in the first paragraph. The dialogue made me think of Dr. Evil talking to his number two person on Austin Powers. The third paragraph made me think of him too. Thanks for sharing this little gem and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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143
143
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Helping Hearts, and WDC Frontliners.

Good Points
1. The action scenes were great.
2. I really liked the female lead, B.

Suggestions
1. Edit for commas around coordinating conjunctions.
2. Try not to use the same word twice in a sentence.
3. Eliminate all adverbs.
4. Watch for author intursion.
5. Try to use other words for look/looked.
6. Eliminate the question marks in the second paragraph.
7. Put internal thought in italics.
8. Write out all numbers under one hundred.
9. Some of your dialogue tags are not neccessary. Ex: "I said dryly."
10. Do not start a sentence with then.

I hope this review helps.

Sister of Mercy

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144
144
Review of Mythicalia  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (2.0)
I'm reviewing you courtesy of The Angel Army, WDC Frontliners, and because you gave me a review.

I liked the idea of the colonization of other planets, and you could use this as a stepping stone for your novel. However, this chapter needs a lot of work.

1. Watch for comma splices. (first paragraph, second sentence)
2. Edit for commas. (around coordinating conjunctions and after yes or no)
3. Watch for extra spaces. (You only did this once or twice.)
4. Don't start a sentence with then.
5. Cut adverbs. This will make your writing cleaner and tighter.
6. Watch for info dumps. (The paragraphs before the dialogue are a huge info dump.)
7. I wasn't able to connect to your characters. Try adding some description when it comes to them.

I hope this review helps. Don't give up on this, just keep working on it.

Sister of Mercy

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145
145
Review of Divergence  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Showering Acts of Joy, and WDC Frontliners.

Yes, indeed that was a very dangerous place. I liked the way you built up the suspense in this piece of flash fiction. I only have one minor editing suggestion.

Menacing implements lined the walls and the teenagers marveled at the instruments of medieval torture. A comma is needed after walls.

Thanks for sharing this and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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146
146
Review of A Ghostly Poem  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Showering Acts of Joy, and WDC Frontliners.

I enjoyed reading this story poem. This reminded me of a story I heard on the Discovery channel. The flow and rhyme are great. I also love the way you ended this piece. Thanks for sharing and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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147
147
Review of Dewdrops  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm reviewing you courtesy of The Angel Army and WDC Frontliners, and this is 5/5 reviews that I owe you.

I can totally relate to this poem because I believe I'm in this place with the relationship I'm in right now. You describe this tough time in love perfectly. Thanks for sharing this and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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148
148
Review of Mindless Troll  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Helping Hearts, and WDC Frontliners.

This is a very powerful poem you have written here. You have described perfectly how addiction holds a person down and controls you. Thank you for sharing this and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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149
149
Review of Dinner Out  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Showering Acts of Joy, and WDC Frontliners.

I loved the way you build up the suspense about how the meal would be for the couple. Second, I liked the way you described the pure torchure the man went through while eating. Last, the twist at the end was so funny. Thanks for sharing this and write on!

Sister of Mercy

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150
150
Review of Nomadic Musings  
Review by very thankful
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I'm reviewing you today courtesy of The Angel Army, Showering Acts of Joy, and WDC Frontliners.

This is an engaging non-fiction piece about your journey with a drug addict, and how it has had an affect on your career. This piece only needs some minor polishing. Here are my suggestions.

1. Make sure you have an apostrophe in the word it's. Look for this in the first paragraph.
2. Do a minor edit for commas around coordinating conjunctions.
3. Try not to start a sentence with the word then. (You only do this once.)
4. In the last sentence, drop the and after grief. You only need a comma after grief. It will improve the flow of the sentence.

I hope this review helps.

Sister of Mercy

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