Good morning Calvin. it's hard work being a Rising Star.Well done on getting this far on WDC a great place to be I have just finished reading"Great Act of Mercy + The Royal Treasures" I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression/Emotional impact:
this is one of Our Lord's greatest acts of mercy and very powerful. A woman hiding in adultery is caught in her sin and dragged into the open she wears the cloth of shame and all who look now know her sin.
How many hide in sin? Guilt is the tool to force sin out and She surely has enough of that. She feared the worst, death was her fate until the grace of Jesus' stood before a mob of two faced loud mouthed cowards. He scribed the ground and silently seeking our father's will he finally spoke. Ten powerful words. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." She waited for her fate and the mob left. They had their sins exposed by their actions that day also!
Whaw! how powerful is that!
Format, Rhyme and Pace: Your rhyming is smooth and majestic and the poem is graciously paced.
Artistic voice and imagery: The picture is painted in words the are indelible to the soul of a sinner and a lesson for all.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:I can see no errors
Thank for allowing me to read into your thoughts and I applaud you for a good interpretation of this parable.
Thankyou for sharing
Reviewed by Alexi Mason
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Oh! Connieann,
What a lovely, magical and memorable story of firefly's. it should the real side of your heart and your softness.
Boys will always be boys and they just are made to be hunters.
Poppop's smile is a memory in itself and scrunching beside him in the chair. It brings back my childhood memories of my dad and I. he was a good heart and my best friend and I remember his drivers smell and his tenderness and warmth when he told me stories of his childhood I felt I could fly back in time and hover over him as a child climbing trees and fishing. Ah, memories.
A beautiful story almost a fairy tail.
A good write Connieann
Moonbeams and grace from
Alexi
How did you do that?
The poem it straight to the point and the shape gives it beauty.
You must have pasted it, am I right?
This poem is so simple and hits the mark with artistic flair.
Made my mouth water and I am on a diet, oh dear.
Another gem. Caramel dipped ice-cream, yummy!
The twist of turtles in jars is fun ? a little twist in a foody delight.
This is a delightful poem and artistic. I can only imagine the magic of seeing such a sight. I have only seen them once and it was pure magic of natures beauty.
This story drew me in and was paced very well. Elizabeth's father's funeral is daunting enough, but to meet a woman and her son on the same train going home was Interesting, that the boy looked just like her dad and was instantly recognised.
The last piece began to put a puzzle together for Elizabeth. I have a feeling she wants to solve this mystery Was she? Is she? Is he?
I want to hear more this could lead to a good and tense short story.
Grammatically this thought could be shifted around a bit and corrected:)
BUT!
I found it very funny and amusing. the sort of sub-conscious thoughts like hypnosis bubbling to the surface of reality.
The pace was good.
Keep writing, you have a very vivid imagination:)
You could be a genius if you keep at it and don't give up Mike.
Alexi Mason
Made me smile. It just proves that souls can entwine through wrapping words around a wire full of energy and at the touch of a button, and deliver with impact..
Communication can bring life; emotion, joy, peace, love, to name a few.
Thank you for allowing me to read into your world.
Sending bubbles of joy through the wire:)
From Alexi Mason
Hi reek,
I think he might be a kingfisher, Does he eat fish? You get him that way. I have a pet blackie bird. he is almost eatin out of my hand now. I talk to him and he responds.
I like your poem Creek, it is simply nice.
Keep writing.
Do you know you haven't written you biography as yet. It just tells us a little more about you.
WDC is a good place to be.
Regards
Alexi
It is beautiful, tender and painful to read.
I cry
On the day my husband was buried the heavens opened and almost a hundred and more stood in the poring rain.
The balloons did not rise because of the rain and mine landed on his coffin.
On the day that my grandson was buried. Only four of us could bare to be there. Hiis dad carried the small box he lay in and my heart cracked in two.
Good morning Dennis,
I am sorry that you are not a Christian as this piece is a very good interpretation of light and dark, knowledge and ignorance.
It is verging on genius.
I believe that your past should be put aside and moving forward with your writing is the way to go, It will help express the deep treasures of your soul and pull you away from the torment that has had hold of you for so long. Get rid of those labels and bring up the real you.
Dig deep and get those words out Dennis.
Welcome to WDC
Alexi Mason
Welcome Katy.
Step in and feel the water. it is fun in here and WDC is a great place to share your writing and make friends. It is a place where your writing is recognised and appreciated. It is also a place where you learn things that were hidden from you. When you think you know it all there is more.
Write on and don.t forget to set up your Biography, it let people on the WDC know a bit about you.
Hope to here from you soon
Alexi Mason
Interesting Words Nameless.
A war between good and evil, or fantasy?
It would be better if you were to finish the story, then a fuller picture of where you are going would emerge.
The Angel or creature is from the dark side.
You are good with words and it would be interesting if you continued.
Welcome to WDC
Let the words flow.
Alexi Mason
What a lovely way to write an acrostic and a lovely, well written poem. Bravo Liza. That was my grand mother's name. I have been to Israel. I had the most wonderful time there and have many memories to treasure.
Your writing is beautiful and full of pictures telling a story and vivid colours.
Well done
Sending you bubbles filled with new inked poems ready to burst and fall onto the pages of clean thirsty paper.
Alexi Mason:e:heart}
This is a heart tearing interpretation of our Lord's crucifixion. tenderly worded and very visual. It makes me bleed with pain when knowing what Christ suffered for we humans.
Some take note and surrender like he did and others are stubborn and walk aimlessly on through to the end taking their own path to an endless pit.
I chose to surrender.
Well written
Alexi
An interesting subject you chose Lubnah
One weekend in my life...Friday My son and his wife had invited my husband and myself out for a thank you meal. When we got ourselves spruced up. I sat on my husbands lap and sang a love song to him, Then I put our favourite music on and we danced.
When our son came in to escort us, he said, " look at you two." and smiled. I said that we still loved each other after 40 years of marriage. We had a lovely evening together, the four of us
Saturday my husband and I were baby sitting for our other son, he and his wife went to at a wedding.
Sunday morning, My husband was going to take me to a town and as I turned I heard a definite voice tell me not to go there. I turned back to him and said, "Let's not go there. Let's go to the town closer and he asked if he could stay home. So I kissed him on the cheek and said I wouldn't be long.
When I got home, My husband was making terrible noises and was on the floor struggling to breath. I got an ambulance chaos broke out.
We went to hospital and I could see the Dr's face, grave. My husband never came round and We didn't get to dance together again.
I have beautiful memories of my love and treasure that.
Your story is true. and touched stings in my heart. Many don't stop to think of the consequences when they don't think before they speak or behave and it can be too late
You seem like a good heart and I hope you enjoy being on WDC.
Write on
Alexi Mason
There is nothing more exiting, emotional or beautiful the first time you hear your baby's heart beat. it is a lovely feeling poem and gem from your heart. I talked to my babies every day when they were In my womb all cosy and warm.
Then after, When you hold the heart beat and help the heart beat through life's journey. The music of the drumbeat may go in it's own direction and we can't stop that. We can only hold the moments, breathing miracle.
Alexi Mason
I do like this interesting poem on hope. It is like one is lost in a torrential flood of wet despair and yet some how in the darkness, 'Hope' throws a life line, a promise, a substance of things not seen, yet there ready to come to pass.
well done.
from Alexi Mason
Sharra,
I loved your little story. It was like a fairy tale or a synopsis for a much larger magical story.
I too feed the homeless in my quiet way and no MBE for me. What I get from it is the joy in my heart that I have helped my neighbour as I would like to be helped myself.
A lovely story.
Giving kindness
Alexi Mason
Not even a rising star.
Just sitting on the side walk handing out my writing.
Very sad and touching .
Despair for a life that once blossomed like the fragrant spring flowers.
Words from your heart.
I know the pain of losing a mother.
Thank you for an insight into your thoughts.
Alexi mason
Aundria
Hey, I like your version of time.
And it's breath rips through my hair. That is a good line when we are young our hair is young and when we age our hair like the breath of time changes to silver or white... Like that one.
Also time is the camera, my life in the lens:)
We are in the clock of time The planet earth.
Our skin tells us what time it is.
Our pace, our energy.
Like a mother plant we leave our seed, the children and grand children.
We wash others with the words and works we do.
So many things in our lives tell us the time.
I have written one in my port. (still needs a tease) it called 'What have you been done with the time you have been given?'
Well done
Alexi Mason
Hello again Dr Gupta, I passed your port once before and left a smile
Slow down? Does the world understand what that means and the consequences of not slowing down, always striving, for the next building block, of fix for there life, the next pay cheque.
I have reviewed the following item
SLOW DOWN (E) Slow down. Give yourself respite from purposeless rat race.
#1747860 by Dr M C Gupta
towards the entry fee
I once had a vision of many people who were blind and walking towards an abyss. This was a mountain and the people were on the mountain top and the drop was deep and painful. I was there trying to hold some back and talk sense to them, many fell like rags, a few listened and I took them away from the abyss and dressed there wounds with words. (salve and wisdom)
Your poem is wisdom and I felt your arms stretched out to people saying Shhh! Listen quiet your life and think before you step, pray, eat, do then sleep as a watchman sleeps. Before you walk, then take the day as directed.
Follow the Lord's feet. a day is like a thousand years. Only the wise learn this.
I enjoyed the words and depth of the poem. An injection of wisdom.
Ecclesiastical is the world it goes round and comes round
Alexi Mason
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