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890 Public Reviews Given
899 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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151
Review of The window  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Juliet, Thank you for allowing me into to your world of writing. I will give my opinion and this is meant to be helpful to you. "The window

For a first poem it is a good try.*Starfishb*
Looking out of a window has many stories to be told.
I like verses two and three. *Stary*

In the first verse; line three and four. I am confused.*Question*
What is bright and bold
To big to even hold. Am I missing something here?
After mouse it doesn't seem to fit. read this out loud and have a rethink about these two lines.

On the last verse, it needs a rethink.

Oh the window is so pretty, *Check5*
Thank goodness it's not by the city, *Questionp*
Just like my mothers blouse,*Questiong*
The window is the happiest place in the house*Check5*

I do hope that this helps and I ask that you continue with your writing as I can see much potential and look forward to seeing more of your work.
Thank you for allowing me into your writers mind Juliet
~Alexi~*Heart*
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review of Lost  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a cry from the heart of someone who knows that life can be better and that there is a path to follow.
Heartfelt and a brave cry.
Ask and you will be given. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened. Matthew 7 v 7

Asking if there is a God out there if he will reveal himself to you is the way to find him. He will direct your path and give you life.
This was my prayer and he answered me.*Heart*

~Alexi~
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153
Review of Corner Booth  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi FirstMate and welcome to WDC. By joining you must have an interest in writing, either short stories, poems or even more adventurous writing dreams. *Smile*

My name is Alexi and I have been on the WDC site for about six years now and have loved and grown in my writing career since joining.

I would like to say that my review on your poem is only my opinion. *Smile*

You have a nice concept here. The title is confusing, more clarification would be (You Me and Us)or (The two of us.) only an opinion and for you to decide.
If you re-read tour poem out loud and take time to re-write it will be a thoughtful poem.*Smile*

I want a little corner booth to share with you
I want a song we could sing to
A long cold night we'd cuddle in
A cad we'd ride in
I want a couch we nap on
A step we sit on
A shirt I steal form you
I want that place where we would hide from the world
I want a spot to meet
And an hour, minute, or second late,
We'd laugh and play the rest of the day
I want the warmth of your hug when I'm scared
I want your shadow to be there
I want you to rest your head on my shoulder
I want there to be love between us
But first...
I just want there to be you, we'd, and a us.




I want a little corner house to share with you
a song that belongs me and you
On a long cold night we'd cuddle in

We could have nice car to ride in
I want a couch we can nap on
and our own step to sit on
A shirt I can steal from you ???

Our magic place where we...would hide from the world
Or a special place where we could just be
To spend an hour a minute, or one second.... oh let it be
In our dream we would laugh and play
and not worry about the time of the day...

I want the warmth of your hug when I'm scared
your shadow to be there
I want you to rest your head on my shoulder
and soak in the love that we share...

But first...
I just want there to be... a you a me and an us.

I hope that I have given you a little help into how you can re think and re tweak your poem. Please come back to show me your changes.
Thank you for allowing me to look into your writers world and your thoughts FM.
You have the makings of a thoughtful writer.
~Alexi~ *Heart*
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.




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154
Review of Young and in love  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Hi Nessa, I see that you have just become a member on WDC. So I welcome you. Having read your short expression of words, in my opinion going out and having sex with Tom, Dick and Harry. Smoking pot and other substances and filling ones body with alcohol and getting wasted is a sure way to end up either Pregnant, or with a sexually transmitted disease or being a drug addicted. All these abuses to the human body can lead to an early grave.

Having loving parents is a kind of love that is given to children. Teaching them to honour their body which is a holy thing. Then in the right time and when they meet the right person for them in life it is special for a man and a woman to come together and enjoy each other, then having a family together.

Perhaps the character in your story has had an emotional upbringing and needs help from their peers. Many teenagers do go astray and some years down the road, they come to their senses and realise that there is more to life than the above abuses to ones body. I have had the experience of picking up the pieces of a young person who went down that road that leads to death and they were blessed to see that if they didn't get help, then they wouldn't survive.

Love is pure and holy and there are people in this world who do care.

I agree with you that life is for exploring and it can be fun. But having a plan and being respectful of oneself is the first step to a good life.

Your rating on your story should I believe be E not 13+

Respectfully
~Alexi Mason~*Heart* Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

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155
Review of Say No To Snow!  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Quite an interesting and honest account of the British winter weather Jenny.
All of it true, except the fun children have sliding down hill on a sledge and a hot Bovril when they get home. I remember hanging wet coats on the big chunky radiators in the classroom at school. Chill blames and red fire marks on legs, trying to keep warm around a coal fire.
All of the above are true.*Smile*
Well written Jenny.
Alexi *Heart*
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156
Review by Alexi
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a brave testimony, your dream and what it means to you.
He is our rock, the rock of our salvation and he promised he would never leave us or forsake us.
I to have dreams of flying to all these lovely places and I always get back safely.
Thank you for bearing your soul.
Alexi *Heart*
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157
Review of Promises  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Quite an interesting poem here about promises. Who can keep a promise? That is something to think about. My husband promised me we would grow old together and he died at sixty three, he didn't know that his promise would be broken.

Trust no man says the Lord.

I enjoyed reading you poem and it's belief in promises.
A good write.
Alexi [e:thinker}
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158
Review of Reflections  
Review by Alexi
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Bravo for starting your journal of life experiences. It's never to late to start and will be a comfort for your relatives when they reminisce your writings.
Keep writing. [e:heart}
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159
Review by Alexi
Rated: E | (5.0)
Donation from Alexi 50,000GPs.
Sounds like I might be looking to join this competition.*Smile*
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160
Review of Ashes in an urn.  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very true and touching poem Sp.
It is true that we are born naked and we go from this earth naked.
I pictured the old man sitting on the bench and the writer listening to him telling of his victories when he was a young man and now old and forgotten by many. Such a tragedy.

This might be better as a short story. It might be worth a try. *Thinker*
I can see much potential in your writing so keep writing, use your talent.
Thank you for allowing me into your writer mind.
Alexi *Heart*

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161
Review of Under the Bed  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
My sister was always scared of monsters in the night she would draw a line down the bed and if that line moved she screamed. She also thought that we had alien creatures behind the set of drawers by the window and she would never go switch the light on if it was dark, the creatures might crawl across the room and grab her ankles.
Your poem is so peoplesfears.com ha.
Well written SR.
Alexi Mason *Thinker*
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162
Review of Barely Breathing  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
This is such an honest description of feelings that are fighting inside a brain that seeks a smooth passage out of hell.
Tangled and torn emotions bared, exposing the pain that the bearer endures.
Well produced and brave words.
Alexi *Heart*
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163
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ok, I get the jist Cambusken. Who you must be very special to have been punched by those meteorites and survive and I didn't see your name on the queens honours list this year or are you undercover at the moment.
Any way, My eyes met in the middle after the first line and from there I floated into space only to landed the kitchen table staring at my porridge and pushing it round the bowl. I quivered at the thought.*Smile*
yur a Scottish genius, aye yi ur taa.

Interesting write *Bigsmile*
Alexi mason Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review of 6 a.m.  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Forgotten Beauty

c:lblue} I have just finished reading your poem "6 a.m.


Impression / emotion I could picture you character waking up to the morning sun sprinkling his gold rays across her face with his hand making her smile and feel warm and comfortable.
The wind just stirring enough to summon the leaves to knock on the window and say good morning .
Dozing on the intoxication of sleeping magic it pulls her back to her slumber. She is pulled back to rest, a smile on her pretty face, like sleeping beauty her eye lids close and her spirit is hidden behind the wall of sleep.


Form / rhyme / meter I see this as free form with visual rhyme.
Voice / descriptive language


Grammar n/a


Suggestions Just to say that I enjoyed going being taken visually by the writers words to the story that the character sees. Delightful and well written.


Thank you for sharing your writing *Heart*

This review was from Alexi Mason Alexi

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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165
Review of Winter  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I have just finished reading your poem May. "Winter


Impression / emotion It is an uplifting poem about winter painting the earth and one person looking in silence at the miracle. His oils are the cold breath of the season changing objects as it's temperature descends like a brush to the canvas. A new joy fills the persons spirit as the cold air she breaths out and the brush of winter powders the breath with swirls of grey sparkles that bring a tingle to her heart.


Form / rhyme / meter crystal, embrace, mystical, face. This continues through, threading a beat of light rhythmic music wanting my spirit to take in the moments of quiet magic she feels throughout the poem.


Voice / descriptive language Gentle, visual, injecting.


Grammar n/a


Suggestions None. But the lines I liked were: Glass panes look of fine crystal. The cold paints a subtle hue on my face. Watch the fog twirl and spin. This moment gives much delight and finally These memories eternally I shall own. *Heart*


Thank you for sharing your writing May. Delighful and expressive, Keep writing.*Heart*

This review was from Alexi Mason Alexi

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review by Alexi
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Well done Danza. I hope that I was a help with your edits. Did your family like the finished product? I hope so, you didn't give up and this will help you with future writings.

keep writing and congratulations to your exciting responses from other writers on this wonderful site.

Alexi *Heart*
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review of My first love  
Review by Alexi
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey Marci, I have just read your short love story. How you met your husband.*Smile* It is so beautiful and romantic. You are blessed. Every day with the one you love is special and a gift.

Did you mean to write this was our first (day) or this was our first (date)? Just something I noticed when reading.
A lovely story. Well done.*Music2*
Alexi *Heart*
168
168
Review by Alexi
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a lovely Christmas poem Ken. The bells call the people to listen to the message. Bells do have a significant message to tell. A cow bell in Switzerland A bell on a Lepper's neck to warn people to stay away. Church bells, a bicycle, fire bell, school bell, door bell, When an angel gets his wings, ha.
There must be so many. The message that proclaimed Jesus is a Thunder in the heavens, God's bell to let us know that our redeemer is here.
A nice message in your poem ken.
Well done.
Alexi *Heart*
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169
Review of Mom's Poem  
Review by Alexi
Rated: E | (4.5)
I just lovr this lovely message to your mother. It made me smile today. I lost my mum five years ago and I know how precious they are.
Alexi *Heart*
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170
Review of The lighten path  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nixi This is a lovely thoughtful poem. with deep meanings, cautious steppings and lovely thoughts.
Well done
Alexi *Ribbonb*
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Review of Crumbling World  
Review by Alexi
Rated: E | (4.5)
Fall down nine times, stand up eight. This is a Japanese Proverb. *Smile*

I enjoyed reading your poem. It relates to many of us, we get a clean piece of paper for each day and a wrong step, an ink blot, a quarrel, bad news or good ect,. This can all change the course of our day and our lives.

Your poem takes the walk of a life that has had a few bashes, but hasn't yet given up.
Well done and you are a writer. *Smile*

Alexi *Heart*
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Review of Binary Blindfold  
Review by Alexi
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Liam, as I read your poem I realised how you became a winner. This is so true to reality. It make one think, what the hell is this delusion that takes over our fingers, our minds, our time. It has become a necessity in our lives and steals the natural environment that we were gifted.

Is well written and well deserved. An eye opener, or do we all know what is seducing us. The Keyboard.
Alexi *Heart*
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173
Review by Alexi
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi P. If this is your first story, I look forward to what you are capable of writing. *Smile*
I was there with your thoughts. I knew that you thought he had someone else. It was all a misunderstanding. Words that take the wrong turn and cause pain. It is a great love story and could be expanded into a short story. [There you go] *Bookopen*

Just a little more tightening of your spacing would be good.

I am going to fan you as I look forward to hearing more of your talent.
Well done P and Writing your Bio and letting us know a bit more about you would be great.
Happy Autumn Season
Alexi Mason *Heart*
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174
Review by Alexi
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like this and your willingness to help others develop by opening up ideas.
Unselfish and impressive.
Thank you King Nick.
Alexi Mason
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175
Review by Alexi
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey Gully! You look fabulous.
Alexi*Heart*
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