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592 Public Reviews Given
592 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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151
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a good piece of your writing craft. I like how you introduced the zodiac characters in the story. The ending left me want to know more. If you want to expand on this story at some point you could definitely do this. Overall, this story has a good theme which is a different and has lots of potential for expansion. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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152
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
From the description I was expecting this piece to be more emotional. The way the artist is described and what she is doing is done well. Expressing more emotion in this piece of writing will make it better.For example is she feeling pain, hopelessness, anger, or maybe a combination of all of these emotions. Overall, well written with what you have here, adding more emotion I feel would make this piece better. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
153
153
Review of A Very Clear Case  
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This story is a good example of using dialogue with very little description. I like how the characters were able to show the reader things about themselves just by their dialogue. It was interesting how the patient tried to turn things around on the doctor by revealing things of his life that triggered him to get emotional. Overall, very well done. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
154
154
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I like how this story flowed well from the beginning to the end. I like how at the end you put a twist of the red headed woman. Nice touch. I am not sure if you plan on expanding this or not. I would be interested in know what happens at the castle and if the red headed woman actually gets Twilight. There was not a lot of description of characters and the setting scene, going more detail into this may make the story better. Overall, this was a great story. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
155
155
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I like your description of what the chapter is supposed to be about. The short piece of writing was well done the only thing is the writing does not match your description of your chapter. I hope there is going to be more added to this because I feel you can write more to make this a better story. This seems like you have just gotten started. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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156
Review of The last act  
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
For a short piece this is written well. It is a good piece describing what this character is feeling about his last performing act. The only thing I have with this that stands out for me is what is the act he performed? Just curious about that. Overall, great piece and good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
157
157
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Great story! I found it interesting in learning about this part of history which I was not familiar with. I found this story has a good pace throughout. You have good use of history and story. The characters are well developed for the story. The only thing that I can see that could be an improvement is to add more about the history of horses themselves. Such as, showing how they are taken care of for example. The reason why is because I was thinking about how they were being taken care and what the horses do all day; just curious. This is probably because I have not been around horses and want to learn more. Your grammar is well done. Overall, great story and adding a little more detail might make it better. Also grats on winning the contest *Bigsmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a good review. I have watched this movie and I can say you have described it pretty good here which is good for those who have not seen it to get an idea what the movie is all about. One thing missing is I was wondering what you thought of the movie. I get the idea that you like it except that you do not say why you like it and what it means to you. Your grammar is pretty good. Overall, good over view of the movie and I feel having you express more of your opinion of the movie would make this review even better. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
159
159
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a great way to start off your novel. I love how the story develops using familiar genre and you have placed a twist of your own on it. The characters are well developed to show the reader who they are. There are many grammar mistakes throughout, spelling mistakes, capitals missing, punctuation needs some work in some spots, and there are some run on sentences. Overall, the idea for the story is awesome with some work on the technical side of the story this will be an even better story. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
160
160
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This a well written piece of writing. I like how set the scene. You also do a good job introducing the characters to us in the story. There were a few parts that I feel were drawn out too much and more interaction with the characters may solve this issue. Your grammar seems to be well done. Overall, the writing is very well done and with a little more character interaction this could make the story better. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
161
161
Review of Risk and Reward  
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a great story. My favourite part is the orcs; I like you have given them their own style of speaking. This chapter has good use of description and dialogue. I feel this chapter flowed well throughout. I like the story as it is and do not have any suggestions for any changes. Your grammar seems to be good. Overall, this chapter has been well written and I am looking forward to reading your other chapters. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
162
162
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
There is good use of your creative talent in this story. I like how there is good flow from beginning to the end. My favourite part is at the end when the Princess finds out there is a way to defeat Prince Altar and a plan is alway put into place. It is also a clever way of dealing with Prince Altar following the Princess. Your grammar is good. Thoughts for improvement, I wouldn't change anything it is great as it stands. Overall, great fantasy piece and I enjoyed reading it. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Unknown  
Review by TJ Marie
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
These are great ideas you have written here. I feel that there could be more emotion expressed. Does she feel, sad, lonely, abandoned, invisible, are just a few possibilities. Go into the raw deep emotions of how she feels will make this a better story. Also, describe how she was honest all the things she realized about her situation. The last sentence seems to be unfinished and it feels like I have been left hanging. This piece has gotten off to a good start all that it really needs is to be expanded with some more emotion, some descriptions of the characters, and let the characters tell the story. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
164
164
Review of My Turn To Fly  
Review by TJ Marie
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very short piece. Feels like it is unfinished. The writing you have there is excellent. You have good description and good metaphors. I feel there could be more description of the birds themselves and their environment. This will help to set the scene more and help the reader to get to know your characters more. I feel that the pace here was too quick. The last sentence you seem to have left it in unfinished which leaves the reader wondering what happens next and it is also frustrating at the same time because it feels unfinished. Your grammar seems to be good. Overall, the writing is solid and well done just a few places to expand and this will be an even better story. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
165
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Review of Quiet Time  
Review by TJ Marie
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Great story. You describe the life of a woman who is living a life of hell with a man who is supposed to love her and treats like crap instead. I like the end how you have karma take care itself. In life when you treat people unloving you bring bad events to you in your life and when you treat people in a loving way you attract good events in your life. Your grammar look good. I really have nothing to reccommend you change here I feel the story is great as it stands. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
166
166
Review by TJ Marie
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a great creative piece written here. I love how you have presented us the present and the time travel of Rachael. The journey of her two friends Freddy and Corney to find Rachael is well written. There is good flow from the beginning to the end. The only thing I have about this story is wanting to know more about this technology, it seems to be mysterious and intriguing at the same time. This does not does not affect the story in a negative way I feel it is just a curiosity. Your grammar is good for most of the story except for one spelling mistake I found here, "Cornelio slipped from the room and came back with drinking classes." I believe 'classes' should be 'glasses'. Overall, this is an amazing story. I loved the creativity in it. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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167
Review by TJ Marie
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like how this story has good interaction and flow between the child characters and the animal characters. The theme is creative and well thought out. My favourite part is when Tommy took Timmy's crayon and magic box and wrote friend on the lid expecting the raccoon to appear when the fox appeared instead and when he felt guilty about doing the wrong thing to his friend. Your grammar seems to be good. Overall, love this story and the creative way you wrote this story. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
168
168
Review by TJ Marie
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This chapter I feel is a little short. The writing you have here is well done. Right to the point of your mission except how are you going to know who this corrupt angel is if all you are told that there is this angel doing this? Maybe there is more from a previous chapter or in a chapter to come that would answer that question. Overall, for a short piece this done well, expanding it more would make it better. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Project 1  
Review by TJ Marie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love this story. You do a great job in setting the scene and the characters for the reader. I was able to picture this story in my head as I read it and I love that about a story. The detail about the main character discovering the picture of the boy with the same type of hair is my favourtie part. Yur grammar seems to be well done here as well. Over, this is a great start to a great story. I can't wait to read more. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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170
Review by TJ Marie
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this piece of writing you have here. You describe a childhood prank which is familiar to many in real life which I like. This little part seemed too short. The characters seem fun and I feel that more needs to come out in that respect. Overall, a great piece keep up the great writing. I will have to check out the first part. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by TJ Marie
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I was hooked from the beginning to the end. I have not read part 1 yet and I get the feeling that there is going to be more. The characters flow well with one another. Your grammar seem to be done well. I am looking forward to reading part one of this story. Overall, this story is well written and there isn't anything I would change in it. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Chapter 11  
Review by TJ Marie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is an interesting piece of writing. I have not read the other chapters of this writing and it has intrigued me. I have found that you have given enough information that I was able to piece together some of what these characters are. I like how you made this all in a form of writing notes. There were a few spelling mistakes, other than that the grammar seemed to be good. Overall, I was hooked from the beginning to the end. Can't wait to read more. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
173
173
Review of The Mole Chap 1  
Review by TJ Marie
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I really enjoyed this piece of writing. I like how you have taken your main character and put him in his own world within another; it is like he is in one world and everyone else lives somewhere else. There is a good pyscological aspect to this story except I feel you can go deeper with that. I feel that there is a darker side to your main character that can be expressed more; there is the ambiance that this is so if you actually express the darker aspect as well it will make the story more powerful. Overall, this is well written and with a few spots going deeper in the pyscological aspect of the mind of your main character this story will be spine chilling and be better in my opinion. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
174
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Review of In Wooded Thought  
Review by TJ Marie
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This piece of writing felt very brief. In the description it is mentioned that this is an introduction. Some things I feel that would make this piece better. The setting of the scene of the story should be given with more detail. A description of the main character helps bring the reader into your story as well. It is difficult to get an idea of what your story is about with what is written here. The writing you have is good if there was more in it to make feel more complete. I feel that when I write an intro I keep in mind setting the scene, outlining the main character or characters, and give a brief idea of the plot of the story which will hook your reader if written in a way to draw the reader in, basically whatever you would like to see on a jacket of a book to hook your readers in. Even though an intro may not seem important it is the first part of the story the readers will read so it is better to make it as a good a hook as possible. Overall, this has great potential with some expansion it will be awesome. great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
175
175
Review by TJ Marie
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found this story entertaining. I like how you took grandma's recipes and had Betsy get creative even though the characters eating Betsy's cake did not think that changing the ingredients was a wise decision. This story had me chuckling which I love; very few stories put some humour in them. Overall, this story had hooked from beginning to end. Well done. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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