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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/socalscribe
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3,683 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I balance my reviews by commenting on what worked and what might be improved. I try to remain objective and tailor suggestions to what's on the page rather how I would write something. Above all, I'm honest. If you're looking for quick praise or an easy five-star rating, I'm not the right reviewer for you. I'm a tough critic, and I will tell you what I really think (as nicely as possible, of course).
I'm good at...
Structure, pacing, characterization, plotting, dialogue, and considerations for the professional marketplace. I'm okay at technical editing, but I'm much better at analyzing broader creative elements and stylistic concerns.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi/fantasy and mystery/thriller are my favorites, but I read a little of everything and also enjoy adventure, comedy, horror, and even the occasional romance. I also enjoy most types of nonfiction.
Least Favorite Genres
Honestly, I'll give pretty much any genre a try.
I will not review...
I prefer to review work that the writer has put effort into creating. It doesn't have to be perfect and rough drafts are certainly welcome, but I dislike sloppy work where it's clear the author didn't put much time or thought into writing what they're asking someone else to put time and thought into reviewing.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Banner for Winter I Write


Hi Detective

This review is being sent to you in connection with "I Write in 2019" . Please keep in mind that these are just the opinions of one person, and you should feel free to use or disregard anything below as you see fit.

Overall, I think you did a good job with this piece. I liked the pacing of the way it read, and the rhyme scheme helped everything flow nicely. I like the fact that there was a distinct story to this poem and it was easy to see how the prompt informed the entire piece. All in all, I thought this was a solid entry for The Writer's Cramp. Well done!

Thanks for the opportunity to critique your material. I hope you've found some of this helpful, and that you keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
2
2
Review of Snowed In  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Banner for Winter I Write


Hi Detective

This review is being sent to you in connection with "I Write in 2019" . Please keep in mind that these are just the opinions of one person, and you should feel free to use or disregard anything below as you see fit.

Positives

I thought you infused this piece with a lot of excellent detail and description. You painted a vibrant picture of the setting, which really added to my enjoyment of the piece. There were some interesting details about Megan and her life, but the environmental details were the real star of the piece.

Negatives

I felt like there wasn't really much of an actual narrative story here. Megan stops at a lodge on a snowy night, but there's not really a sense of where the story goes from there. It's almost a vignette about the location itself, rather than a short story with a character arc or a narrative with a clear beginning, middle, and end. I would have loved to have seen the character go on a little more of a journey in terms of where she starts and where she ends up by the time the story is over.

Overall

Overall, I think you did an excellent job with the details and description, but that the short story, structurally, could have used a little more character development and/or narrative development. Still, the quality of the writing itself is quite good and you did a wonderful job of depicting your subject matter in vivid detail. Nice work!

Thanks for the opportunity to critique your material. I hope you've found some of this helpful, and that you keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
3
3
Review of The Macbeth Curse  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Banner for Winter I Write


Hi Halloween the Echidna

This review is being sent to you in connection with "I Write 1001 - 5000 Words" . Please keep in mind that these are just the opinions of one person, and you should feel free to use or disregard anything below as you see fit.

Positives

I thought this piece was well written and a good take on the prompt. You used detailed description to great effect and your characters were engaging and interesting. I really like the premise of a Macbeth curse.

Negatives

The ending felt like it came a little out of nowhere. There's no mention of any kind of supernatural presence (other than the possibility that the curse is real) until the very last paragraphs of the piece, which makes it feel a little random. I would have loved to have seen the supernatural element laid out a little beforehand so that the payoff during the reveal is a little more satisfying.

Overall

Overall, I thought you did a solid job with this story. You're off to a great start and if you can find a way to layer in a little foreshadowing of the ending earlier in the story it'll really help it stand out. Nice work!


Thanks for the opportunity to critique your material. I hope you've found some of this helpful, and that you keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
4
4
Review of On Capitol Hill  
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Robert Edward Baker

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I really enjoyed your poem. I thought it was well structured and paced, and had an excellent flow to it. I also appreciated the bit of history that you were able to infuse into this comparatively short piece. Overall, a great effort. Nice job! *ThumbsUp*

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
5
5
Review of The New Truth  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Royal Eduardo

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I thought you did a great job with this item. Sonnets are very difficult poetic forms (at least for me! *Laugh*), and I thought you did a fantastic job with the imagery, and the ideas presented in this piece. I think you might be a little off in your syllable count on each line, unless you're using a sonnet form that differs from the traditional English (10 syllables), Italian (10-11 syllables), or French (12 syllables) sonnet forms. Other than that, nice job!

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
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If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
6
6
Review of Election 2018  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Norbanus

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

Nice job with this poem. You appear to have followed the form well and I really enjoyed your imagery and the amount of detail you were able to fit into such a comparatively short piece. Overall, I thought this was a great take on the prompt and a really solid entry.

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
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If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
7
7
Review of Politics  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Fivesixer

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I really enjoyed your poem, especially the way it was structured and flowed. It read almost like hip hop lyrics, which was a really refreshing contrast to so many of the other entries which were more traditional poetic forms. All in all, I think you did a really good job with this entry. It was a pleasure to read. *Smile*

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
8
8
Review of Denied  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tanith

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I enjoyed this poem. I thought it had a lot of spirit and was well structured, with a great variety in word choice. I definitely wouldn't have guessed that it's your first poem in over a decade! I'm glad you gave it another try and I hope you'll continue to stretch yourself in your writing endeavors! *Smile*

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
9
9
Review of Cars and Trucks  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Legend Unborn

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I really like the amount of detail in your poem. I thought you infused it with a lot of specificity and emotion, which really helped paint a vivid picture in this reader's mind as I read through it. Overall, I thought this was a solid entry and a good take on the prompt. *Smile*

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
10
10
Review of Burnt Orange  
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello ridinghhood--p. boutilier

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I like the diversity of subject matter in your poem, but I did feel like it tended to jump around a little as a result. The first two stanzas were great in that they were really focused on a particular thought or sentiment, but the the second two stanzas felt like they were trying to pack in too many disparate thoughts. Still, I really enjoyed the read and thought you did a good job with the prompt. *Smile*

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
11
11
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Sorji is living the dream!

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I really enjoyed this poem, and the way you played with the form to create something new and interesting. So many people are married to particular poetic forms and traditional styles; I always appreciate it when someone does something unexpected and fresh, which is exactly what this poem is. Nicely done!

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
12
12
Review of Politics  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Lovina

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I particularly like the structure of this item. I'm a big fan of poetry that has visual appeal on the page, and this is certainly an excellent example of that technique used to great effect. Overall, I enjoyed your item a lot and thought it was a very good take on the prompt. Well done!

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
13
13
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Dave

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I loved the structure and the flow of this piece. It read very quickly and you did a great job of fitting a lot of imagery and content into comparatively few words. Overall, I thought this was a great, enjoyable take on the prompt. Very well done!

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
14
14
Review of Same Old Same Old  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello ♥ GrOOvy HOOves ♥

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

Sorry this review is a tad late... but I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this poem and am thrilled to see that it won Second Place in the November contest round. It's well structured, has great imagery, and is everything I've come to expect from reading one of your poems. Well done!

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
15
15
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello ♫~ Kenword~♫

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I really enjoyed your ballad. I thought it was an ambitious form to work with, and you really did a great job infusing a lot of imagery and detail into this piece. It was also refreshing to see a take on the prompt that wasn't so centered on national U.S. politics. All in all, well done!

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
16
16
Review of Trumpet Sounds  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Paul D

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I always appreciate when entrants try something a little different, and this entry certainly fits the bill. Rather than doing a more traditional poetic form, yours took the form almost like song lyrics, with a great flow and pacing. I'm really impressed with this piece. Well done and nice work!

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
17
17
Review of Lamentations 2016  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Words Whirling 'Round

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I love the way you made your entry reminiscent of a Bible verse. That was a very clever idea for this prompt, and you did a great job of pulling it off. Structure, pacing, and flow were all excellent, and your use of imagery and detail were quite good. This is a great poem!

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
18
18
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Jellyfish is an Auntie!

This is an official review from one of the judges of the November 2018 "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . The featured genre was political poetry.

I really enjoyed this poem. I thought you did a great job capturing your exasperation with what's going on with your side of the pond (not that ours is much better!), and everything was well structured and well paced. Your take on the prompt was refreshing and I appreciated hearing about some political concerns outside of national U.S. politics. *Smile*

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work and I hope to see you participate in future rounds of the WDC official contests! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
19
19
for entry "Maverick" 
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tinker -

I am reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2019" 

I love reviewing these 24-syllable poems. I'm always so impressed by the way you poets are able to cram so much imagery and artistry into just a handful of words! This seems like a particularly difficult challenge given that you really only have twenty syllables to work with after the four that the prompt word takes up!

Overall, I thought you did a fine job with this poem. Your imagery was excellent and I like the variance of the words you chose, some complex and others relatively simple. All in all, it was a pleasure to read and I could clearly envision the scene you set using only a handful of syllables. *Thumbsup*

Thank you for the opportunity to read and critique your material. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
20
20
Review of Winter Promenade  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi 🌜 Huntersmoon -

I am reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2018" 

As always, your poetry is a pleasure to read. I can't think of a better way to end the year of I Write than with one of your poems and, as per usual, I can find no areas in need of improvement. Thanks for all of your excellent writing this year; it was a real treat to see what you were able to come up with during this, er... unusual and tumultuous year. I particularly enjoyed your political poetry, but your other stuff is pretty good too! *Pthb*

Happy New Year, my friend!

Thank you for the opportunity to read and critique your material. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
21
21
for entry "Christmas Colours" 
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Carly - Happy Summer! -

I am reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2018" 

I thought you did a fantastic job with all of the colors and vivid description in this poem. The different colorations you described made everything feel vibrant and alive, which worked well with your choice of subject matter, structure, and word choice. Overall, this was an excellent poetic work, as so many of your works usually are. *Smile*

Thank you for the opportunity to read and critique your material. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
22
22
Review of I Write In 2018  
for entry "Who Am I? " 
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Carly - Happy Summer! -

I am reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2018" 

I really enjoyed this item. I thought you did a great job communicating the emotion and narrative situation primarily through dialogue, which is really not easy to do. In only a few short words and brief verbal exchanges, you painted a vivid picture of a complex scenario and it was clear and easy to follow along with. Overall, I think you did a great job with the prompt. Well done! *Smile*

Thank you for the opportunity to read and critique your material. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff

If you're interested in checking out my work:
"Jeff's Jibber-Jabber" 
"New & Noteworthy Portfolio Items" 
23
23
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I think you did a really good job with this entry for the Christian Writing Contest. You explained your passage of choice in detail and expanded upon it with your own thoughts, which are the two things I look for when I'm reading nonfiction. All in all, this is a really solid entry. Best of luck in the contest! *Smile*
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Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I really loved your piece. I thought it was well written, addresses the prompt effectively, and is a really great message for those out there who may be despairing their particular fertility/pregnancy situation (whatever that situation may be). My wife and I recently went through a similar challenge with fertility issues and it took a lot of prayer and introspection to get to a point where we were able to recognize that sometimes God has different plans than we do for ourselves. But it's amazing how often, if you listen to Him, you'll find that His plans are infinitely greater than yours ever were.

Good luck in the contest! *Smile*
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Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a really great piece. I love the way you broke down the Bible verses and mixed them in with your own writing, and then took the time to elaborate upon them and add in your own thoughts. For me, this is exactly what nonfiction should be... informative, educational, a little bit personal... all in all, a really solid entry. Good luck in the contest! *Smile*
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